.......Yes it was rhetorical.
Although I'm currently not dating cos I think men are stupid. I love men. I do. But I think I would love them more if they did not open their mouths at all, unless it is to kiss me or live under my skirt. ;-)
With the playoffs starting, men traditionally start growing their play off beards, and I could not be happier!! There is something ridiculously hot about men with "groomed" scruff. If it's unkempt, just keep walking, cos I will not want to do naughty things to you unless it's groomed. Men know this. They do. They can play stupid all they want, they know their hotness level rises during playoffs. Sidenote: If you're one of those girls who doesn't shave her legs or girlie bits during the playoffs, I'm sorry, we can no longer be friends.
Ok I'm way distracted by this. Back to the point of today's rant.
A few years back when the Douche and I were on a long break I was having much success with my online dating experiences. I met about a dozen men over that year, who today are still friends or acquaintances. One of them being Weiner. (ya we'll call him that). Hot, smart, had his own friends, hobbies, a life. Score! We met and couldn't hit it off. Something about him in person wouldn't let me take my guard down. When he realized we weren't going to be hooking up, the insults started. Shocked at the words that came out of his mouth. Of course I deleted him and moved on to other men.
After many discussions about his attitude towards me at times etc, we've remained facebook/msn pals. That's it. I haven't seen him in person since that first year. This past Wednesday was something new. I do not know if he had a psychotic break or just realized that he hates women. Maybe he just simply hates me. He got to the point of asking if I wanted to hook up etc and listed his demands if we did.
1) Wants a picture of us having sex sans condom.
2) He won't kiss me cos that's gross. Not just me, says he won't kiss any women.
3) And that he will LET me give him oral.
He just laid it all out there. I explained, that although temping, I would pass... for forever! He verbally assaulted me. Yup.
Cunt, prude, stupid idiot, were just a few of the things he called me. I stared at my computer screen blankly while trying to gauge if he thought he was being funny and I wasn't getting it (not the first time) or if really meant the things he was saying. You can call me a lot of names, but cunt will not be tolerated.
Him:
cunt
cunt
cunt
cunt
cunt
:)
cunt
cunt
cunt
;p
cunt
etc.......
Me:
I've asked you before not to call me that.
Him:
Geez you're a prude, it's just a fucking word. Cunt.
Me: I do not care.
Him:
fucking cunt.
Me: Bye Weiner. (deleted msn contact)
Him: Fine. I'll call you vagina!
vagina
vagina
vagina
etc........
Me: Ok, now that's funny!!!
Him: Are you a fucking stupid idiot? It's means the same thing!
Me: Cunt is vulgar and demeaning, vagina has humour to it.
He goes on to call more names etc.
Then it dawned on me. I do not have to put up with this. Not from anyone, nor anyone who deliberately goes out their way to belittle me for sport, does not deserve my time, energy, or a second though again. Especially when I've told him not to call me names. Are we 5 yrs old?
I guess he did not believe me. He spent the next hour on/off apologising and that he was joking. Regardless he took it too far. I told him I wasn't interested in playing games and that if he still needed that thrill to go find someone with less self esteem and dignity to play games with. More name calling ensued.
Walking away from the computer, I was mad at myself that I even continued to chat with him after he called me a cunt. What the hell was I thinking? I am not that girl who will put up with abuse. Not from anyone I know, and especially not from some guy I met 4 years ago and haven't done anything with since.
The part that saddens me is, he has been a really decent guy 90% of the time. But that 10% just over powers any good in him. He crossed over to the dark side. (and yes, he's a major Star Wars fan).
A few hours have past and it's been quiet. My cell phone starts going off with more name calling.
Starting to become enraged with him, I stepped down to his level and decided to fight fire with fire. Those who know me, know you've really pissed me off if I'm willing to fight dirty.
I gathered all our conversation history for the last 4 years, recent text msg's written verbatim, and all sexual pictures he's sent me of him with different women and sent them all to his girlfriend on facebook. (What? I'm not stupid. I keep ALL documentation when it comes to men online for occasions just like this. Best advise I was ever given from a cop I met online.) Yes he has a g/f, who he claims they are p/t swingers and she's fully aware and encourages his "outings". Oh ya, we'll see about that. File sent to her facebook account. Done in two emails.
Everything is time/stamped and dated. So he will have a very hard time explaining away when any of this took place. I feel bad for her if she is not aware etc. Looking back this might have been a harsh move on my part. I do not think 100% rationally when I'm livid like that. I do pick my battles and this is one I wasn't going to let go. If I didn't do it, he'd go on verbally abusing women, and will probably continue.
What is it about me that I attract these men. What vibe am I giving off that men think it's completely acceptable to talk or treat me like I do not matter or like I'm cattle? Seriously? I do not think I give out a desperate vibe. Is it cos I'm overweight and a lot of men to tend to think heavier women are more likely to be kinky etc cos that is the only way some of them can get any lovin? I've been told that by a few men, and although the majority of men will not admit it, a lot of more men think that way. Not winning.
Even while single, I'm losing faith in men as a species.
Another example to prove my point.
Yesterday: One of my cousins emails me on facebook and asks me who Richard is and why he is poking her? This is the same guy that rejected me last week when I hadn't implied any interest. Winning.
Conversation below.
Me:
Hey Rich,
Okay you've officially freaked out my little cousin (enter name) by poking her repeatedly on here. Please stop. If you're interested in anyone on my friends list, let me know and I'll let you know if they're at least of age!!!! Thanks :)
Rich:
I poked her. She poked me as well silly head and retuning the poke (2nd time) IS NOT REPEATEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get it straight DRAMA!!
Of course I had to ask my obviously looking underage cousin if she did poke him back, and if so, stop. She was mad and upset. She had not poked him. Then I started to wonder how he got a hold of my friends list to start with. I have it blocked from all friends. Light bulb goes off when I realize I started a family list that is public to everyone until I changed the settings.
Me:
Drama? Really? When a 39 yr old man pokes an underage family member of mine that he doesn't know on facebook, I'm entitled to ask a few questions. You've made it very clear you're not interested in me but you thought it would acceptable to poke members of my family for fun? I'm sure you meant nothing by it, but you've freaked her out. Just do not poke her again, regardless if she pokes you. Thanks.
Rich:
Yup.
Me:
yup? I don't understand. What?
Rich:
YUP!
I've decided to leave it at all. Cousin has blocked him. (so thankful FB allows you to block people you're not friends with again You were not able to do so before) I've blocked him from seeing my family list.
Seriously, what has gotten into men? I've emailed the rest of my female family members to see if he poked anyone else. Waiting to hear back. If it turns out that he has, I will chew him a new ass and will ask everyone that he poked to report him. That is not normal behaviour. I'm sure it was harmless fun at his end, however I do not take it lightly. Wouldn't you find it a little weird if I started poking random men on your friends list? Your much younger brother,nephew, cousin etc?
Input......go!
Well, speaking as a man, maybe I'm being a tad ol' fashioned here but the two "gentlemen" you describe obviously have no idea how to conduct themselves and probably have some mental defects or at least need a damn good hiding. Tis no way to treat a women at all. Oh and just had to smile about the e-mailing the girl friend bit, revenge is truly best served cold, well done me dear.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
John
At times I wonder if there is something I'm doing that provokes this behaviour from men. This is not the first time I've been treated like this. Maybe my asshole radar is still very much defective.
ReplyDeleteLike I said before, it takes me a lot to get to the point where I did wednesday night to stoop to that level. I can recall on one hand in the last decade (three of those being between 2009-2011) where I've dropped the gloves and took a hit.
What has changed in society that has allowed shitty behaviour from everyone to become more acceptable on a daily basis. Social media, online dating, technology in general has changed the way we conduct ourselves in general.
I'm afraid for us 50 years from now when rudeness will be hip.
To be honest I don't think it applies to just men, standards, manners call it what you will are falling steeply for all gender, - a sad reflection of the times to be sure. Don't go thinking it's you me dear, it's just everywhere.
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph on the causes sums it up I feel.
Looking forward to your next post.
John
@Murphyfish & @ Beer Shower- Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's reassuring that I'm not over reacting when I hear from men on the topic.
Thank you again!
Sorry I'm behind on my reading. Good lord, there is nothing you do that warrants this kind of behavior. And even if you were some kind of tarty mix signals kind of woman, it still doesn't warrant this kind of behavior. Men (and women) need to learn that no one's actions justify your poor behavior.
ReplyDeleteLike the C word - I'm sorry but it's not acceptable in my books - it's demeaning. Just like using bitch. I can say I'm feeling bitchy - but if a man was to call me a bitch it is out of line, I don't care how angry you might be.
As a society though I think we've come unglued. You miss the lady screaming in Forever 21 - but that was a perfect example, the poor young man was offering her a store credit or 10% and she wanted 50% and an apology. It was a t-shirt she claimed had flaw. I'm sorry but one yelling, like he told her was not acceptable and two take a second and think of where you are shopping. It is mass production, cheaply made clothing - you get what you pay for... anyways.
You're all good remember that
Okay, I'm going to be honest here and ask why you even kept talking to the first guy after he acted that way? Four years is a long time. I think there will always be assholes in the world but by continuing to talk to him after he acted that way, in a way you said it was okay. People will only get away with what you give them, you know? So my question to you is what were you getting out of talking to him/them? Maybe that's the real question? I think sometimes in the past I've accepted behaviours from people because I wanted their attention or liked them. But then I just realized that they were just pissing me off all of the time! And who needs that really? Hope this helps :)
ReplyDeleteI just have to say after reading that you are now my idol!! There's nothing wrong with you....you just have to (unfortunately) kiss a lot of frogs! xxxxx
ReplyDelete@LB@30 - in the past he'd only called me that once and thought he was being funny. I kept an online relationship with him cos we could alk about so many things. Like I said 90% of the time he was very decent. But this time, that 10% was waaaay out of line.
ReplyDelete@NM0811 - Thanks. I've yet to hear anything back from either of them. So who knows if she's received them or if he has access to her account and deleted them. Even then, I'm sure I'll hear from him.
@S&P - Forever 21 was too hot for me to stay inside the store. I completely missed it.
Thanks again for coming out. It was great to meet you. :)
Being called a bitch doesn't bother me, cos chances are I am being a bitch.
You're right though, as a society we have become comepletely unglued on so many levels. Attitudes in general are way too casual to the point people do not even realize they're being rude anymore. :(
i completely agree with murphyfish on this one
ReplyDeletelet us know if the girlfriend gets back to u!! xx
ReplyDeleteOf course I'll make anew update if either of them reply. Haven't heard a peep as of yet.
ReplyDeleteWell, I was going to stalk you and all, but I obviously do not have his talent for abuse, so we'll just call it off now, if that's OK with you. We just saved months of wasted effort!
ReplyDeleteProtect yourself.
ReplyDelete@Michael - Thanks, yes we'll just call it off now. lol Welcome to my blog. I can not view you?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - Always. Thanks.
Son of a!!?!?!?! I just wrote THE LONGEST comment ever...hit post...and it sends cannot post...hit back...all gone. Something about boys being awful and me becoming a lesbian. Sorry...I blame blogger!! DOH!!!
ReplyDeleteUpdate - No one has replied to me.
ReplyDelete