Reflections on an improved me. 2009

2009.

Most are glad to see it in the past, as am I. Although I wouldn’t change the things that happened. Fortunate the negative wasn’t worst, nonetheless, an eye opener for sure.

Taking a queue from The State That I Am In blog, I’m going to steal her style for writing about 2009 and keep it positive. http://georgiaisyourfriend.blogspot.com/

Had a handful of bad dates early on in 2009 and subconsciously decided not to try so hard to meet anyone knew until I understood more of what I wanted for myself.
I’m graduating to a different type of man. Ended an on/off again relationship with a man who has been there for me in the best ways and not in all “relationship” ways.
Healthiest move I’ve made for my love life ever. Although it hurts as the breaker upper, I’m going through the post breakup stages. I learned he is NOT the man for me.
I learned to let go.

Discovered the reality of the lack of obtainable employment, although I was only looking part-time, it proved to be futile, realizing it doesn’t matter how much education or experience you have, there are no jobs available with suitable pay.

Learned to be selfish in a positive way and redirected being a people pleaser to making myself happy first. With that, a few friendships turned into acquaintanceships. They may be great people, but not necessarily friends I need to make a priority. Learned to let my guard down and let men like me with one simple sentence from a random msn pal.“Over confidence from insecurities is a major turn off.”
I’m overly independent, and don’t let many help me, or even just be men….
That sentence alone changed how I behave towards men.

Made a list of 40 things to do before 40, thanks to the talented and amazing Naked RedHead. http://www.thenakedredhead.com/ Some forcing me to be more proactive about my longevity and health, to step outside my comfort zone on so many different levels. And since I put it on the Internet I’ll have to follow thru. Not all will be a success, but I will have tried.


Was provoked to think, improve writing styles, challenges, and entertained with a few new blogs.


My best friend taught me about courage when she finally left an abusive relationship. Currently living with me and witnessing first hand the turmoil, abusive mind games she’s had to endure for the last decade, again opened my eyes to the evils in the world and just how naïve I am capable of being at times. Hard to learn to be trusting of others when so much garbage is out there. Weary, yes. Stupid, no.

I had more unnecessary hangovers than required. Relearned my limit.
Went out to more invited gigs and events I normally would have. Discovered a new group of people I enjoy being around and we’re slowing building our rapports from pubs friends to “friends”.

Built way more character than I needed, and learned I’m stronger and more emotional in certain areas of my life. Two friends went over seas on duty tour to help bring wars to an end. Both returned safe and sound.


Spent every single major holiday alone. ALONE 100%, not because I’m not loved or have no friends. Plans just didn’t pan out. Never again will I spend a holiday alone weeping about it (okay maybe a bit) but I’ll do it doing something that makes me happy at the same time.


I’ve entered 2010 with an internal positive motivation than I thought possible.
It’s almost like I have no control over it, or just want a change I’ve invoked a better outlook.
I haven’t always found it easy to be outwardly positive all the time, it’s exhausting.
Somehow it’s in my head now to “just do it” attitude.


I feel most beautiful when I’m laughing with my friends.

I’m excitingly looking forward to 2010 and all it’s challenges and adventures it will bring me.