Solemn Entry. Derek K. Miller @ Penmachine.com

I've been reading Derek K. Miller for sometime over the years.
Turns out we have a few mutual friends in common.

A few years ago he discovered he had cancer. Last year the doctors decided it was terminal, and he will be leaving us here on this plane within the year. Personally I would freaked the hell out. Derek may have done that too, however he chose to write about his life in such a way, you can't help but be inspired by him, even if you're crying, cos it's raw, honest, awe insprising and amazingly well written.

I highly recommend you check out his blog at Penmachine.com and encourage you to leave comments on any posting you feel like. This will be the things his kids read about him for the rest of their lives.

He recently had a living wake which I personally think was an amazing way for friends and family to say goodbye and and celebrate his life, and for him to be witness to it, *tear* is amazing and fortunate all in itself.

I've never met Derek, and yet he inspires me in ways I wish I had known back when my parents were ill from cancer.  I hope I'm never faced with the knowledge of when I'm going to die.  However, if I am, I hope I have the courage and strength to make the best of every single day, and to be that raw & honest about it. I'm sure there isn't anything in the world he wouldn't give to not be in this position. But he doesn't seem to live in the what if, could have, just one more time, kind of world.

Again, I highly recommend you read his blog. It's not sad in the way you think it would be. It makes you proud and more importantly, blessed to have access to parts of his life. I have a feeling his time is closer than I care to admit as his updates are becoming less frequent due to his lack of energy etc. He even mentions it's obviously apparent now that he is dying as he shares moments with his wife A.

The world will be down one amazing man when his time comes.
I hope his kids grow up to be amazing adults just like their Dad, and that they know he touched many people through his writing.

My wish for Derek is, when his time is here, that it's in his sleep, that he's not really aware of it happening and feels absolutely no pain. Then he will be free to haunt his family and play wonder pranks on them. Just so they know he's still there.

*hugs* Derek. xoxo Stay classy my friend. xoxoxox

Stylish Blogger Award - You've been Tagged.

My Dating Hangovers nominated me for this Stylish Blogger Award. Awwww.. Thanks for the shout out.

Now about this award; being a recipient of the Stylish Blogger Award is a great exercise in fun and mutual back-scratching. Of course, as with any of these blog awards, there are rules. The “rules” that come along with this award designation are (1) I must divulge seven things about myself, and then (2) pay the Stylish Blogger Award forward to about seven other blogs.

7 Random Things About Me

1. I love watching men shave their faces, and sometimes doing for them. Something so intimate about it.

2. Love the smell of fresh cut grass, cedar burning, BBQing in the winter and the air after a good Spring rain.

3. I use to compete at a Provincial level in gymnastics and dance.

4. I can not whistle.

5. I'm weaken by my empathy for those I love and random things like crying at commercials, good love stories, weddings, my friends success's and failures.

6. I snore like a bear when I'm sick. (so attractive)

7. I love to be a cuddle slut, but hate PDA's.

For the people I'm passing this award onto:

In no particular order.....

Something She Dated

Diary Of Why

Elizabeth Singleton Asks, Are You For Real!?

Learning From Self History

Jessica Eats

The Restaurant Manager Rants

Simply Solo

and cause I like to break the rules....

#8 Single & Picky

Follow New Blogger - Elizabeth Singleton Asks: Are You For Real?

Quite some time ago I introduce Elizabeth Singleton as my love life coach.

And while she does give the bestest advice ever (offline) for my love/non love/dating/non dating/Crazy Museum  C issues I may be having, she has found a reason to start a blog herself.

Please welcome her to the blog-o-sphere family.
I'm sure she will be a hoot.
Elizabeth Singleton Asks: Are You For Real?

NEW BLOG TO FOLLOW - JESSICA EATS

I originally posted this when everyone was on holidays. I'm posting it again now that everyone is back. :)

A girl (Spanker) I use to work with (I call her Spanker cos she'd spank my booty all the time) started a blog, about food!!!


Jessica Eats will be an amazing blog once she starts getting the post and pictures up.

This is not a recipe or "how to", kind of blog! It is just a diary of what she eats and tries.

It will be fun and disgusting!!!

I only know this cos we've been facebook friends since she left our company and posts the best picture's of the items she will brave to shovel into her cake-hole.

Jessica has a stomach of steel most people would be jealous of!
She is a small person with the appetite of a 300 lb man. Bless her.

Check on her blog from time to time and see how it starts to progress.

I know I always look forward to the pictures on facebook.

Hope you'll enjoy it too.

New Blog to Follow - Jessica Eats.

A girl (Spanker) I use to work with (I call her Spanker cos she'd spank my booty all the time) started a blog, about food!!!

Jessica Eats will be an amazing blog once she starts getting the post and pictures up.
This is not a recipe or how to, kind of blog! It is just a diary of what she eats and tries.

It will be fun and disgusting!!! 
I only know this cos we've been facebook friends since she left our company and posts the best picture's of the items she will brave to shovel into her cake-hole.

Jessica has a stomach of steel most people would be jealous of!
She is a small person with the appetite of a 300 lb man.  Bless her.

Check on her blog from time to time and see how it starts to progress.
I know I always look forward to the pictures on facebook. 

Hope you'll enjoy it too.

Wealthy Wilma's & The Smart Cookies

Wealthy Wilma's & Smart Cookies are financial groups, for women by women.

They make understanding your finances easier, and teach you in layman's terms how to manage your finances like the big boys. But in Pink!!! ;-)

My friend Kim introduced me to the Wealthy Wilma's book club a year or so ago as a close friend of hers started this group after the unfortunate and sudden passing of her father. Read that story (under WHY?), seriously, it will set a fire under your butt and for the ever simplest reasons. Be your own provider.
I never attended cos I was, well, intimidated to attend with women who I already found to be successful. What did they need help with? Making MORE money? ptfff.

I listen to Kim tell me all sort of success stories that these ladies were accomplishing from the tools they received from these book clubs.  I still felt the anxieties of having to read a book in a certain amount of time then sit around and talk about it? No thanks! I imagine a scene from Jerry McGuire. His g/f's  living room being full of angry, miserable women, bitching about their lives. The look on his face upon entering is the same look I have at the mere thought of attending one of these book meetings.

So I decided last year to take some of the tools I learned from Kim, the website and the other finance groups for women, by women. Slowly reading the websites, taking bits and pieces of infor I knew I could apply to my life and see how it works. Then apply the next phase etc. 

I obtained an accountant through H/R Blk who has been an amazing help with little things to write off. Clothes bought for work, transit passes, glasses as a medical expense on taxes, continuing education for books and tuition etc. Things I never knew about. Or previous tax places have not advised me of. 
She suggested that I take any income return I do get and start a no touch savings account with that. 

Nice thought, did I do it? No. I spent it. Won't do that twice. Next time it goes towards aggressively paying down more debt and the rest goes back into savings. In the last 4 years, I've been out of debt 3 times. But would like to remain out of debt.

Tired of being broke and having no emergency fund (a to do on my 40 before 40) nor a retirement plan.  I set up a small amount of money to be withdrawn from one account into another every month, twice a month. An account that in high insight, I wouldn't touch.  I did great at first. Super easy to save money.  Until you dip into it.  So I went back to the websites.  More tools brought forward.

Learned little things like:
If you intended to spend say $150 on boots, and managed to get them on sale for $75.
You saved $75 dollars, right? WRONG! 
You only saved that $75 dollars if you don't spend it on something else. That savings you earned on that sale, should go right back into your savings. Otherwise, you did not save a penny.  That is where I found a lot of people, including myself, and btw, not just women...get into trouble.

Pay yourself first. Golden rule, so I'm told. 
I'm doing it now. It's only 13% of my monthly income, but it's better than nothing.

What I'm learning is;
There is no wrong way to start saving money as long as you start, try, & experiment what works best for you. The only wrong way to do it, is to not do anything at all.

Today I was playing with my online banking options and laid out a plan.

*X* amount of money would automatically go into another account the second I got paid.
Scheduled the move of the monies so it happens instantly. I do not have to think about it.
*Y* amount of money was set up monthly to go towards a very high interest credit card. One that is not only killing me with the interest rates, its penalties for being over limit and late with payments. Holy shit.
- in addition to this, Saturday I will be calling this card company, advising them of my payment plan (with proof) and asking them to lower the interest rates. In addition, I think I might cancel this particular card.
*Z* I have to tell my brain I'm not bringing home a monthly amount of $$$ and readjust my thinking to that I only bring home $ now. That is minus the amounts that are now on an automatic schedule payment.

On paper this all looks good. I SHOULD, read SHOULD be able to pay all my other bills on time and slightly over the minimum amount due. Have the same amount of play money to spend every month etc.
Thank fully the savings account transfer is movable should I have to use it. But I tell myself, that is not an option.  

It's going to be a tight year, in a different kind of way. But I'll have something to show for it at the end of the year. As I move forward and get the hang of this, I'll be speaking with an financial advisor at my bank and learn what I need to retire by a certain age.  I do not like the idea of working til I'm old, but that is the sad reality for some. What if my health fails me and I'm unable to work? Then what?

These are all tools "they" should be teaching us in school. Not relying on parents to teach it, cos lets face it, how many parents out there think kids under the age of 18 should have to worry about stuff like this etc.
I was fortunate enough to have an Uncle that taught me a little about this stuff. I had savings. Enough for a large down payment on a house at the age of 22.  Then I was audited.

As it turns out, my sister who was a self taught accountant had been doing my taxes since I was 17 etc. Instead of something going on line 14, it was on line 17.
How, HOW I ask you, did the government miss that error for 6 years? 

Well they eventually caught it, and I had to pay back everything. EVERYTHING.
That took an additional 4 years. All my RSP,Saving Bonds, and GST for all those years.
Now I'm Broke. Then my mum passed away.



Needless to say, I never bounced back from that. And that sister does NOT do my taxes anymore.

Wish me luck and do yourself a favour and take control over your own fiances. Never think you can fall back on parents or family or that it will just all work out etc,  cos like Bernadette you just never know.

Tony Fouhse is amazing

I came across this site by Tony Foushe Crack Addicts of 2010 via my cousins wife to be.

At a first glance I was a little put off. Upon looking at more and more photos my mood changed.
Tony has been able to find beauty in a life many are unfortunate to be trapped in. The Crack Addict.

Watch the video (3 mins long) as he interviews a woman who chose to live on the streets starting at the age of 13 to escape an abusive home, and her life with crack. Her failed marriage and how she talks about her (now grown) children living with another family having a "normal life" and how she so badly wishes she could take back her choices and have that normalcy again. All said with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

In any of the clips you see how receptive people are when treated with respect, kindness and talked to like human beings with souls. Although their souls are cracked, and tortured, they all thrive for the basic needs, love.

In the last 16 hours since discovering Tony's site, I've added him to facebook and have become a huge huge fan of his work.  His work is raw, touchy, sad, lonely, and beautiful.
It has opened my mind even more to a side of life we like to think doesn't exist.

I would very much love for him to come to Vancouver one day and do a project on the downtown east side.

I highly recommend you check out his work.
You may not like it, or even agree with it. I'm not asking you too. I am asking you though, to consider it.
If you take nothing from it, at least you opened your mind for a moment to ponder it.

Follow Peter Shankman! Why? Cos otherwise you'll miss out on so much brain porn!

If you do not follow the amazing Peter Shankman  you're missing out on learning something.

He wrote the following that was published in The Huffington Post.

I was at a conference this weekend in Las Vegas -- It's bad enough to fight with the recycled air, the perfumed-at-50-degrees conference rooms, and the endless fried foods that pass for "healthy," but you add in 200 people who have absolutely no clue how to network, and it's enough to make you pull an Ocean's Eleven and sneak out of the hotel in an ambulance.


Here are the top five ways to not screw up your next networking opportunity.

1) Networking doesn't begin when you get to the conference, it begins the second you leave your house.
Anyone is a potential hiring manager, client, or customer.

True story: I was behind a real jackass at a ticket counter for an international flight last year. At one point, he actually had the nerve to say "Well, I work for company XYZ (A big global company), and I can make sure that we never give you any business again if you don't fix my problem," or something just as arrogant. At that point, the person behind me walked up to him, and said quietly "What's your name?" The arrogant slob said "Why do you care, pal?" To which the first gentleman said "Because I'm senior executive vice president at [said big global company,] and I won't have anyone sullying our good name with their petty bullshit."

I'm pretty sure the arrogant guy doesn't work for the company anymore. In today's world, you've simply got to be on your best behavior. I can promise you, if you're a screaming jerk at check-in, or on the rental car bus, or virtually anywhere, and I happen to be there, I'll be the guy with the FlipCam, posting your idiot rant onto YouTube. Why? Because I can. You don't want to be the guy in the video. Besides -- I know a lot of people -- What if I know your boss? Or what if you find me one day as the guy doing the hiring?

2) Turns out, "It doesn't always have to be about you!" is actually a good comment. As we sit down at the conference lunch, I don't need to know what you do, how well you do it, how many awards you've received for doing it, and how you're pretty sure you can do it for me if I'd simply pay you to, all before I've had sip one of my watered down iced tea.

Here's a thought -- Try making it about someone else for a change -- Instead of sitting down and launching into your pre-rehearsed litany of how great you are, what about shutting up and listening once in a while? Put the business-card-Uzi away, and don't rapid fire them to anyone within range. You know how it seems how some people are only listening to find a break in the conversation so they can talk? Don't be that person. Ask questions! It's the ultimate way to learn, and allows you the opportunity to actually contribute something of value to the conversation, as opposed to the spiel of your latest victory. Remember: Value gets remembered, verbal diarrhea simply gets recalled -- and not in a good way.

3) Going up to the speaker at the end of her speech ensures only one thing: You'll be one of a hundred people going up to the speaker at the end of her speech. So rather than giving yourself the opportunity to not get noticed in the slightest, why not buck the crowd? Find the speaker twenty minutes before they go on stage, and introduce yourself. On your business card, write "I'm the one who met you before your speech. You'll be remembered.

4) Do something different: My business card is a poker chip. You can't scan it in, you don't want to throw it out. You keep it on your desk and play with it. I've seen other business cards that were actual credit cards, bottle openers -- Anything but a boring piece of cardboard. Try and be original. If you're creative enough to give me something I'll remember, chances are I'll want to do some business with you.

5) Finally -- Be wary of making the leap from "Met you at the conference" to "Friending you on Facebook so you can see photos of me in my speedo." Until Facebook becomes the norm and networking is ubiquitous with it, (probably 24 months) there are still people wary of it. And until you learn what to post online and what not to post, remember that not everyone is going to assume that a FB connection request is either a) acceptable or b) worth their time. We'll get there, but we're not there yet. We'll eventually learn what's acceptable and what's not -- because in the end, we'll only have one network -- It'll have everyone in our lives, both business and professional, and we'll have to be smart enough to know that what we post can be seen by everyone, forever. Until we are, asking a potential business contact who doesn't know you that well to till your crops on Farmville is just asking for trouble. (And massive ridicule.)

6) Bonus rule: It's no one's fault but your own if your personal or professional brand isn't seen as you want it. It's not Facebook's fault, it's not Twitter's fault, it's not LinkedIn's fault -- It's your fault. Make sure to keep up appearances as you want them to be. Otherwise, you've got no one to blame but yourself.

Peter Shankman sold his social media company HARO (http://helpareporter.com) to Vocus, Inc. in June of this year. He spends the majority of his time tweeting as @petershankman, and doesn't take his Blackberry with him if he's going to be drinking. He blogs at http://shankman.com

Follow Peter Shankman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/petershankman

Welcome New Blogger - Sick & Tired of being Sick and Tired

Everyone please welcome Sick & Tired of Being Sick and Tired to the blogging world.
She is a friend and a rep of one of my accounts at work.

Only two entries in and she had captivated my attention with her opinion on dating.
She has A LOT to vent about in the area's of men, work, her love life, and her awesome dogs and probably more!

Congrats on your new blog S&T!

Learning from Self History has recently been given a bloggers award.

In order to accept the award he had to:

•Thank the blogger who awarded it to him.
•Sum up his blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five (5) words.
•Pass it on to 10 other blogs which he felt have real substance.

I am completely honoured to be mentioned in his picks along with many other amazingly talented bloggers!!
Here is what he wrote about my little ole blog.


"Just Sayin...." at "Just Sayin...." - She's not afraid to tell it like it is come rain or shine, which really lets us readers into her world - to the extent where her Followers list is labelled "My Stalkers"!

Thanks for the shout out Matt79!! xo

Secret Santa Blogging

Life Begins at 30ty  has this great idea    
 She has propose a secret Santa of blogging.

She will throw all names that volunteer into a hat and assign each person to another blogger.
You come up with a topic/question that you want them to write about.
This should result with some really interesting posts.

I'm already excited and stressed about writing outside my own little bubble.
Stay tuned I'm sure things will be comical.

Painting my apartment? HA!
I've been saying that for the last 7 years. I've picked out colours many many times, although I do not know the first thing about painting. All I keep hearing is that its the easier thing to do, BUT, there is always a 'but' it's very time consuming.

I have to do this. Revamp my apt to reflect that a somewhat stylish almost 40 yr lives there and that it's not just an apartment serving it's purpose of a roof over my head.  I'll probably cry at some point then look back and wonder why I was being such a huge pansy about it. 

Re-entered the POF life of dating.
Can it be called dating, since many don't get to that point and more never get past the first date.
I decided over the weekend to take my own single hood into my own hands again. Not sure this is a smart idea yet as my prior track record is not that of anything to be proud of.

Saturday I sent a few messages out, all were read and one was read/deleted.
A few replied and one skipped the whole message thing all together and IM me.
IM chat was okay, then he asked me to call him. At midnight after he'd been out drinking with friends.

Um, ya, NO. 
No conversation that starts at midnight on a Saturday is going to be held by a gentleman.
I explained why I wasn't comfortable calling him and it could wait til the following day.
Phrases like "don't you trust me?" were thrown about. I laughed with replies of  "No, I don't trust you, I don't know you lol" keeping it all very light.

After 30 mins of chatting online I decided I would call him, from my private blocked number.
Conversation is good, easy. He's obviously educated and can bounce onto many topics.
Then it happens. "What is your sex drive like?" he asked in all seriousness.
Before I can reply and pick my mouth up off the floor, he goes on to tell me how he needs sex and that his last g/f was a prude.  Annoyed that I had predicted this conversation before it started I humoured him with a vague response that should have been enough.  "I like sex and everything that has to do with it".

He wasn't impressed. He wanted details, positions, fantasies etc. I refuse to dignify it with a response.
He laughed and said I was "too proper" and that we were both adults etc.
I laughed telling him could call me during week if he wanted to talk like adults.
Discussions about sex are okay if you're both willing but at this point its too early in the game for me since I'm not looking for casual hook ups.

More to follow, I'm sure.

Blog Block - Guest writers welcome

I'm going to take a blogging break.
I have nothing constructive to write about.
I'm not busy with my life at the moment.
I'm not dating, nor am I interested or even looking. (nice feeling actually to not be consumed by it for once)

I AM however doing yoga twice a week and working at crossing a few more things of my life of 40 before 40. Completed 8 positive this year so far, and few more failures. Although depending on who you talk to, those could be counted as completions too as the effort was made.

I would love for anyone who would like to be a guest blogger on my page in the meantime to contact me.
I'll post whatever you'd like.

Hope to be writing soon.

New Love Coach - Elizabeth Singleton - Introduction.Part 1

A girlfriend back east has always had amazing advice when it comes to the matter of the heart.
She has no problem being boldly honest and yet still supportive regardless what my decisions may be.

We've been discussing my latest heartache saga, she put forth her opinion, offering no solutions, and although her words are hard to hear, may even sting a little, however once again she is right. (Are you ever going to get tired of hearing that?)

It dawned on me, that she is in the wrong profession, and should be employed as my love coach.
Payment of course will consist of gushy loving emails praising her, and maybe small priceless gifts by mail. :)

We haven't worked out all the details of our agreement, I'm sure it will be pretty flexiable, since we're a few provinces away from each other, she can not physically smack me when I do something stupid.
I'll keep her abreast of new situations, men, dates, and be seeking her input before I act on my own accord with my shoot from the hip habits.

All this will gradually allow me to cross a few more things of my 40 before 40 list. :)

Welcome Elizabeth Singleton to my blog.
Keep your eyes peeled for her own entries as a guest blogger from time to time, just to keep things interesting.

Blogs YOU should read!

Today is my Friday and I'm stealing this idea from Twitter.
Follow Friday.

Below is a list of blogs I read, who make me laugh out loud, inspire me on so many levels, make me cry, and seriously help me pass the time at work while "looking busy" when its slow.

http://jessetucker.squarespace.com

http://lasweetpetite.blogspot.com

http://muleos.blogspot.com

www.freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com

www.jennsylvania.com

www.thenakedredhead.com

www.shankman.com

http://ababeinthemaking.blogspot.com

The Chawel - Do you know what a Chawel is?

Hello guys and dolls!

Check out the following site, www.chawel.com
if you've ever been shy about changing in public or wish you did not have to walk the distance to the loo to change, or simples wish you had an all-in-one blanket,towel,mobile changing room, semi sleeping bag, skim board cover, etc.

Well you do now!!

A friend of mine founded and developed this product (The Chawel- pronounces cha-owl, like change-towel)and he should be paying me for pluggin this, lol but I truly believe in this product and couldnt imagine doing a hike, going to the beach, changing clothes in public without it ever again...Plus people (men) will come over and start conversations about it... yay a date for me!!!

Take a look at the link below and check it out.
I do believe he will ship as far as humanly possible.

There are many colours, and designs to choose from in infants, kids, and adult sizes.

www.chawel.com

yes the yummy man in the video is my friend....

New Blogs, Writing Styles

Lately at work, its been slow. Really to say its been slow is an understatement, but who am I to complain???... I have a job. (for the moment)

Anyways, this down time has given me no other option really than to search new things to read, in order to appear busy. Even though all management knows just how slow it is.... but we-must-keep-up-appearances.

Honestly, if I did not have access to the Internet or the curious nature to read about other peoples lives and steal their writing styles, well, I might have had to shoot myself as a result of being "bored to death". And/or tears, which ever comes first.

I have roughly 13 blogs I read for personal pleasure and 5 business/fashion blogs to follow to know what certain principle creative people have in mind for the upcoming seasons and how any design guidelines may change....(to read all these, its takes up oh 5-15 minutes of my days before anyone really ever arrives at work)

In the past week I've started reading 4 new blogs.
Two blogger's who have gone on to publish their writings, two musicians, one local and one not.

Aside from reading about peoples lives, how they cope, and use cynical wit to mustard through life, I also look forward to all the different writing styles.

My style changes constantly. I think my entries truly depend whether I'm being influenced and inspired, or my alter ego writes the entries.
As of lately, I'm all over the place,off topic and feel like I'm forcing them...
I'll say its a lack of having anything interesting to write about or haven't been inspired..

Today I read a local musicians blog, and seriously dug his writing style.
I do not know this person, but I do know of him. We have mutual friends in common.
He's just not someone I have naturally gravitated towards when in the same room.
However, I am ridiculously intimated by his beauty.

Unlike reading the blogs of people I do not know, or will not meet (some I have) Somehow, reading this blog feels a little weird. I haven't been invited to read it, although its public. I came across it like I do most others. While looking for something else. I sent him a MSG to say I was enjoying what I was reading. If I truly enjoy someones blog, I usually let them know.
Most of you who I'm reading and now read me, know this to be true.

Really not sure why this bothers me today? Maybe just a mood?

Regardless I'll continue to read what I enjoy and the things that inspire me.
In life, love, and all art forms.