Weekend.

Got together with an old co-worker on Saturday to go check out a fabric store in Gastown. Turns out we ended up smack dab in the middle of the Jazz Festival.

I've never seen so many people in Gastown since the last time it was a entertainment district in the 80's.  We found ourselves in front of the free stage while a presentation was going on. Okay we really only stopped cos there were hot firemen and cops on the stage. As it turns out, it's also the Vancouver Spirit Rally paying it's respects to those who on the front lines of the riot two weeks ago. 

Looking through the photos, I see something familiar. Me and my friend in this picture.

Of course I'm not going to point out where we are, but we are clearly visible in this picture.

It was actually quite emotional being present for this rally. To be able to thank the police, firemen, E-Comm workers(911), nurses and doctors from St. Pauls Hospital, the TD Canada Bank for stepping up and giving the Spirit Rally a place to present in the final hour (the whole thing was almost cancelled). People on the stage were choked up, so were those in the crowd. Much cheering and applause for those who put themselves between businesses, civilians and the rioters.

There was so much to see, as the rally ended, we saw, we ate, we walked up to The Bay and signed the Citizen's Wall and read all the comments. A few hours later and a little exhausted from being emotionally overwhelmed, we headed down to English Bay to rest our tired feet and people watch. aka. watch half naked hot men strut their stuff.

Long story short, it was a nice 10 hours we spent downtown with no agenda, and no rush to be anywhere.  Aside from the co-worker I ran into on the street, who was blatantly rude to us.  All we said was "hi" to her, and she looked at us like we had 10 heads. Simple mutual acknowledgement for the hello was all that was required. Don't say she didn't recognize me, she was at my friggin birthday lunch.

In other news, I went through my cell over the weekend and started deleting phone numbers of people I have never heard from first, or ever.  Really what is the point of having their number or contact infor if they never use it. I go through this cleaning junk phase more often it seems. I'm simply tired of being the person who makes first contact all the time. These people are not my friends. Friends hang out and do shit together. These are acquaintances.

Once it dwindled down, I was left with a dozen friends. Not bad really. These would be the people you can really count on. Ask for nothing in return and call just because, without wanting anything. A dozen is nothing to be cough at.

I put everyone into categories on my cell. Acquaintances who are in semi regular contact, friends, business friends. The rest got deleted. There is no point having all those people around if they only weight you down, rather than lift you up.

At first I felt bad, like I owed them an explanation of what was about to take place. Then realized, why? They've never made any effort. Right then, I stopped feeling bad. I have to do what keeps me happy. Dropping dead wood was the start. 

I'm not bitter about dropping these people and will be friendly when I run into them, but have stopped trying to include them into activities and events. I have to remind myself every now and then, not everyone is worth the squeeze to make juice and at that point it's easier to just crack open a beer and call it a day.

In short, if it's a not two way street, I'm no longer keeping you in my phone, or on facebook. Harsh? I don't think so. It's my life, my happiness and you're not contributing to it.  I don't think the whole "cleaning house" of facebook friends, and people you keep on your phone, ever ends.  Change is the only constant.

Discoveries

I recently tripped over a friends blog while viewing her twitter page.

At first I was a little disappointed that we'd been friends for the last 4 years and she never once mentioned she had a blog.  I'm in it. Nothing bad at all. 
After screening through the last three years of her life on the internetz I was over it. 

She is a brilliant writer, like everything else she does. 
Regardless that we dont live the same lives, or really have all that much in common, she is an awesome friend, supporter, cheerleader, and positive influence. We all need more people like that in our lives.

Which made me come to realize the rest of my friends and how different some of us really are.
We all come and go for difference reasons, stay friends longer than some should solely based on a long history. Is that enough?  I think it is, at times.

At times there are people I think of as friends then realize they are not.
I'm not happy when I'm with them, miserable after hearing their woes is me stories, or simply plain exhausted(mentally in a bad way) from being around them. Those are the ones I've been casually dropping over the years. This doesnt mean they're bad people, just not the people I need in my life to stay positive and proactive about life and goals.

Energy Vampires is what I call those people. 
They suck everything that is good out of you and feed off and gain strength off your new weakness. 

I have to remind myself that people are generally good.
It's a matter of findng the ones you like to spend time with, hear stories, talk about everything and nothing. Explore new challenges, the good the bad and the ugly, even when it's tough of yourself to support them.

I love that my friends challenge me to try new things and when I do, and have decided I hate it or it was a complete success, they cheer you on for trying anyways or supporting your decision to not do something, knowingly that you're out of your league with it.

My friends rock.

Finding, Losing, Gaining Love. & An Ode to the Women who give me strength.

A Bride In The Making, is one of the blogs I read on here.

And I must give Veronica, the author, much praise for writing what she did.
To admit defeat, being weak, desiring another man, wanting more for herself and making the sacrifices she made to get them. Looking out for No# 1 first! Not many women do.

End in heart ache and tears? Yes, of course.

Empowered her self being. Yes, I hope so.

Learned from her past relationship and learned about herself and her true needs, wants, desires? HELL YA!

This isn't anything any women I've ever met has not gone through before.
By a certain age, we've all had one great love that changes our core of existence for the rest of the world and our wants from the next person. A constant change. I don't think its ever the same twice.

Life is always building character we didn't know we needed.
Or so I like to tell myself to prevent going crazy and becoming the next cat lady.

Another friend who is going through the spitting imagine of what Veronica is, has always been an amazing sound board for me.
She is always preaching Change Is Good! Embrace it.

I really like to know where she gets her strength from. Denial? Nah, she's too smart for that.
A secret memo that no one else gets? Maybe! A faith in love in general?? Who knows.
But she's truly amazing and I'm a better person for knowing her.
Learning from her experiences and going through my own.

In the past year, I woke up and after dating weenies after weenies and longing after the men I want, who were already taken. I learned I must put myself out there, up my standards etc.
Well I've started to do that and yet I'm more alone now than I was before.
But for the RIGHT reasons this time.

I'll just say thank you to all who before me have experienced heart ache, love lost and yet crave the next adventure. Shared your stories. You all inspire me.

There was a time not too long ago, where I had more male friends than women. I couldn't more happy that has changed. I have the most beautiful friends now, inside and out. Including those who I only read. Only see once in a blue moon, or who live too far to visit.
(Thank gawd for Skype and webcams)

They inspire me, my home, my life, my heart, my happiness.
Not only when they are happy, but when they are hurt, sad, doting, pondering, happy, giggling, dancing to only the music in their heads and do not care who can see them.

Okay this entry went sideways but you get the point.

I'll leave you with this.

Women are not meant to be understood, just admired....