I deleted my FB account tonight!
I found I wasn't using it wisely. I was scrolling thru just aimlessly. And if I was looking at the news feed, it was all negative. All day, all the time.
I follow a few news media pages, and can't escape the orange man-child cheeto! Even non-news sources were posting about the more recent stupidity exiting his uneducated, bias, racist little brain. If it wasn't about his latest antics, it was someone calling the police on someone else for the most ridiculous reasons. Or people randomly being attacked for the colour of their skin!
Can not escape.
I started noticing the rage that would stir. That's not good.
As a trial for a week, I've deleted it. I still have msgnr, and IG, cos at least there, I can control the happiness content.
I'm not avoiding reality, parse; I'm just taking control over what, and when I choose to watch the news (on TV now). I only need to read/listen to the news once a day. I do not need it shoved in my face all day long. And when media outlets do report on something else, say something positive; maybe albeit not breaking news, there is always some twit bitching about how there is more going on in the world than reporting on A>B>C random happy moments in the world. There is many levels of news.
Unfortunately so many thrive on the negative. They can't be pleased.
It's only been 2 hours, and I've already noticed that I robotically pick up my phone to scroll through FB. This is going to be a good habit to break.
If not only for my mental health, but to adopt healthier ways to occupy my time!!
Anxious? Do a few push ups.
Bored? Attack something off my to-do list.
Go for a walk.
Read any of the many books I haven't opened yet.
It's been 2 hours, and it already feels a little freeing. 😚
Wednesday, 11 July 2018
Monday, 9 July 2018
Depression has creeped back, and hard to shake this time.
Just what the title says.
Depression. While you're in it, you're not really aware all the time just how run down you are.
A year ago tomorrow, I started taking anti-anxiety meds. What a game changer, I can't tell you the difference, and HUGE improvement it's made in my life!!
As you might be aware, I was laid of in January of this year. Been on more interviews than I can remember, no offers worth fighting for. I have the help of an agency, starting to use a second one soon. A few offers have been made. Although they haven't offered enough salary to accept it.
Some even after I've stated my salary expectations as per their request in the applications, a few have low balled me. Really? Instead of getting mad, I've been using those experiences to practice my negotiation skills. I know my worth. Please do not insult me.
I get enough on EI just to get by. Barely. It's a struggle to budget your social life even tighter.
My rent and bills get paid. All the luxuries have been downgraded or cancelled til further notice.
Which brings us to today. Here we are. I am.
Feeling blah. All-the-time. Until you've dealt with depression personally, or cared for someone who has it, you can't imagine the set back when you find yourself where I am right now, and can see how far back down the ladder I've gone.
It's twofold.
1- To know your down where you are, and can see how far forward you had gone.
2 - The ladder steps are rotten, and full of splinters. How am I going to get back up the ladder? HOW?
I have all these wonderful tools to cope, and none of them seem to be working.
Breathing exercises, headspace apps, yoga, exercises in general. And sleep. wonderful sleep.
The rule is you're supposed to do things even know you don't want to. Go out with friends, be social, go for that walk, attack that chore, or house hold project.
None of it's working at the moment. The thing is, I know how much harder it's going to be to get out of this funk if I don't make real efforts. I simply don't care, at this moment.
Update soon.
Depression. While you're in it, you're not really aware all the time just how run down you are.
A year ago tomorrow, I started taking anti-anxiety meds. What a game changer, I can't tell you the difference, and HUGE improvement it's made in my life!!
As you might be aware, I was laid of in January of this year. Been on more interviews than I can remember, no offers worth fighting for. I have the help of an agency, starting to use a second one soon. A few offers have been made. Although they haven't offered enough salary to accept it.
Some even after I've stated my salary expectations as per their request in the applications, a few have low balled me. Really? Instead of getting mad, I've been using those experiences to practice my negotiation skills. I know my worth. Please do not insult me.
I get enough on EI just to get by. Barely. It's a struggle to budget your social life even tighter.
My rent and bills get paid. All the luxuries have been downgraded or cancelled til further notice.
Which brings us to today. Here we are. I am.
Feeling blah. All-the-time. Until you've dealt with depression personally, or cared for someone who has it, you can't imagine the set back when you find yourself where I am right now, and can see how far back down the ladder I've gone.
It's twofold.
1- To know your down where you are, and can see how far forward you had gone.
2 - The ladder steps are rotten, and full of splinters. How am I going to get back up the ladder? HOW?
I have all these wonderful tools to cope, and none of them seem to be working.
Breathing exercises, headspace apps, yoga, exercises in general. And sleep. wonderful sleep.
The rule is you're supposed to do things even know you don't want to. Go out with friends, be social, go for that walk, attack that chore, or house hold project.
None of it's working at the moment. The thing is, I know how much harder it's going to be to get out of this funk if I don't make real efforts. I simply don't care, at this moment.
Update soon.
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