I have two months and a week left on the accutane. We've given the cycle an end date. More so cos I will no longer have extended medical come Dec 31st at midnight. (company wide lay off- generous severance package though)
Thought I'd update what it's been like to be on the Tane for 8 of the 10 months so far.
Starting age 38, turned 39 in June 2011.
Female. 5'2".
Meds - Synthyroid. Daily dose 125mcg for hypothyroidism.
Advil only when absolutely needed.
February 2011
- Get all mandatory blood work (cholesterol, liver function, negative pregnancy test) so we know where my levels are at and how to gauge how much medication to receive.
- Learn there will be no sex (chose not to take a secondary birth control) or alcohol for the next 6 months.
- Can not donate blood during or for 6 months afterwards.
- Can not wax during or for 6 months afterwards.
- Learn of all possible and common side effects.
- Buy all moisturizing arsenals.
March 2011
- Blood work is good. It's a go.
- Starting dose 40mg.
- Day 3, inner nose is ridiculously dry, slight bleeding.
- You learn immediately why the doctor says to PAT your skin, DO NOT RUB!
OW HOLY F$%#
- Day 10, increasingly tired, and thirsty.
- Blood work.
April 2011
- Dose 80mg
- Daily sunscreen. Experiment with different kinds til you find one you're happy wearing every.single.day. No joke. Every day.
- Nose bleeds on a regular basis.
- Lips are so dry they feel cakey.
- Vaseline, my finger and inner nose are very intimate now.
- Baby Oil and dry skin are best friends now.
Apply after the shower for best non greasy results. Trust me.
- Day 39 extreme fatigue sets in and a little depression (pre existing)
- Slightly annoyed, all the time. Apparently this will pass.
- Blood work.
May 2011
- Dose 80mg
- Daily sunscreen. Staying out of the sun for the summer months.
- Heavy aches and pains. Like you're coming down with the flu, but never get sick.
- Nose bleeds regularly.
- Minor headaches, bouts of sleepiness, sleeplessness, and lost of appetite.
- Had my nose cauterized. It helped.
- Started drinking Becks non alcoholic beer.
It's summer, need something to take the edge off.
- Acne starts to dry out and flake away. (this does pass- don't pick, skin is fragile)
- Hair so dry only washing it once a week with shampoo. Conditioning frequently.
- Blood work.
June 2011
- Learned my cholesterol spiked in May from 2.3 to 5.2 and liver function went down.
- Dose lowered back to 40 mg.
- Daily Sunscreen.
- Scalp is itchy and hurts to scratch.
- Adapting to the aches and pains.
- Gained some unexpected weight.
- Arms feel like they are about to snap off at the shoulders. Learning that once you get use to the aches and pains in one area....it moves. In a constant state of mild annoyance and in pain.
- Quit yoga. It hurts too much and recovery is extra long due to the drug.
- Start taking calcium, and omega 3 oil.
- Blood work.
July/August/September 2011
- Dose 40 mg.
- Cholesterol down to 4.2(July), then 3.8(August), and now 3.2(September).
- Daily sunscreen.
- All of September was really bad for side effects.
- Bone pain is intense. Hurts to walk, and to sleep on my side.
- Noticing my hair feels thinner. Maybe it's the new hair cut.
- Bones feeling fragile.
- Ready to be off this drug. It's kicking my ass.
- The side effects one by one are minor. But as a cluster and constant. It's exhausting.
- Eyes are itchy. Not allergies. Turns out I had extremely dry eyes and plugged lid ducts. high performance eye drops from the pharmacy(non prescription) and Lid-Care wipes, hot compresses all make a huge difference. (DO NOT USE VISINE).
- Learn that accutane is actually an anti-cancer drug. Type of chemo pill. Had I known this before hand, I could have mentally prepared myself to handle the side effects differently, rather than forcing myself thru some of the pain.
- Blood work.
October 2011
- Dose 40/80mg daily switch until my blood work says otherwise.
- Daily Sunscreen, on any remotely sunny day.
- Nose doesn't bleed anymore, but I've got my finger up there so often with Vaseline, it's too lubed to become dry and bleed anymore.
- Notice slight rashes on my arms. Not unusual due to the dryness. Reversible.
- Got the flu Halloween weekend. Thought I might die.
- Coughing is a new pain in itself. Taking a bit to recover from the flu.
- Hair is noticeably thinner. No bald patches,but definitely thinner. (I normally have ridiculously thick hair).
- Blood work.
November 2011.
- Dose 40/80mg switch.
- Cholesterol down to 2.8. woot woot!!!
- Approved for the last 2 months!!! Dec and Jan 2012.
December & January 2012
-Same as November.
This is where it ends for the moment. I'll copy/paste this again when it's complete and still bitch about it in the mean time. I hadn't mentioned the hair thinning cos it's embarrassing. Plus it's not forever. It will thicken out again about 3 months after I stop taking the drug.
I wrote this post about managing the side effects. Like my Accutane survival kit. Have a read. For those of you that find this blog while on Accutane, it could definitely help. Remember, everyone manages the side effects differently, some do not feel many of them.
UPDATE: May 30th, 2012.
I took my last pill January 20th 2012.
It was only a matter of two weeks before I saw a difference in the side affects subsiding. Each week everything lessen a little more and more.
It's 4 months later and I feel more human every day. I am however having an issue with my nail beds, both hands and feet. Finding my nails to be very fragile. That wasn't an issue during the cycle. My face, has unfortunately broken out a little since I took my last pill. Although, it's significantly diminished from what it use to be. *I* could very well be one of those people you hear about who might have to do a second cycle.
Not looking forward to it. As I've described being on Accutane in my late 30's the hardest thing to do. But that is me. Someone else may not have a single side effect.
In high insight it's taught me to keep my hands off my damn face! :)
Showing posts with label Accutane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Accutane. Show all posts
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Friday, 24 February 2012
Updates....Jobs, Unemployment, Accutane, Roommate.
I feel like I haven't written in sometime. Although I am reading all of you. :)
Just some general updates for you.
Jobs:
There haven't been many offers since I quit the last job. Which I've also learned from staff there, that they're having a hard time filling the position. Two people have been hired and walked out since I was there. Even talk of calling me and asking me to come back. Not a chance! There isn't enough money in the world they could pay me to go back there.
I'm signed on now with 5 agencies. The interviews are slowing down. And CL is a joke. I only have one severance cheque left, and then I'm living off the buyout and savings. I might actually have to apply for EI. :( not happy. The roommate says to take a shitty job until something better comes along. Fair enough, but the offers still have to be there, and they're not.
Roommate:
We're getting along for the moment. It's been a few weeks. He's being the guy that he first was when he moved in. I like that guy. Who knows what tweaked him to start being nicer, but I'll take it.
Accutane:
I've been off the Accutane for a month now. Within a week of being off, I started to notice that I did not have to lube my lips and inner nose nearly as much. How quickly the aches and pains are dissipating. Not nearly as tired as I use to be. Hair, well, it's still thin, but I do believe it's growing back.
I did have a minor break out a week before my pill was taken, and then another after that. Since then, my face is looking good. It's not unusual for people to have to do a second cycle of it. I might be one of those people. However, I do have to wait 7-12 months before starting again. Really just have to give my body a break.
Was it worth it? I think so. Knowing ahead of time how it would treat my body was key in its success. I'll update the Accutane entries for others, so they have all the links in one sitting. I just haven't felt like writing lately.
Hmmm, what else?
I threw my back out this past Friday. I was moisturizing my legs on the side of the tub, leaned forward and everything started to seize up. By midnight I could no longer lift my legs. The pain was too much. I had to take a cab to the hospital. :( Not bad really, round trip was only 2 hours.
While I was there, after xrays etc, the nurses administer two shots in my ass.
1. morphine. 2. an anti-inflammatory. Anti-inflammatory and I do not get along, but nothing I can't handle. However, codeine... hates me.
I had a horrible reaction to the morphine and percocets they had me take. Scary to see people running around you when you start reacting. Then stupid me, took a percocet before my hair apt on Saturday so I could get thru the apt, and had another very adverse reaction to it. Yup, probably allergic to codeine. My hairdresser and her staff were amazing. Made sure I was comfortable etc. I wasn't leaving, I waited two months for that apt, I wasn't giving it up unless I absolutely had too!!
I have new medication for my back. I'm not a fan of taking medication in general, but what a difference! I have a muscle relaxer for bedtime. An anti-inflamatory with special coating for my stomach and a pain killer. That's a lot of drugs. Add physio and I'm walking again as of Tuesday! Woot woot!
Thankfully I meet with my new family doctor next week and getting an allergy test will be first priority.
Just some general updates for you.
Jobs:
There haven't been many offers since I quit the last job. Which I've also learned from staff there, that they're having a hard time filling the position. Two people have been hired and walked out since I was there. Even talk of calling me and asking me to come back. Not a chance! There isn't enough money in the world they could pay me to go back there.
I'm signed on now with 5 agencies. The interviews are slowing down. And CL is a joke. I only have one severance cheque left, and then I'm living off the buyout and savings. I might actually have to apply for EI. :( not happy. The roommate says to take a shitty job until something better comes along. Fair enough, but the offers still have to be there, and they're not.
Roommate:
We're getting along for the moment. It's been a few weeks. He's being the guy that he first was when he moved in. I like that guy. Who knows what tweaked him to start being nicer, but I'll take it.
Accutane:
I've been off the Accutane for a month now. Within a week of being off, I started to notice that I did not have to lube my lips and inner nose nearly as much. How quickly the aches and pains are dissipating. Not nearly as tired as I use to be. Hair, well, it's still thin, but I do believe it's growing back.
I did have a minor break out a week before my pill was taken, and then another after that. Since then, my face is looking good. It's not unusual for people to have to do a second cycle of it. I might be one of those people. However, I do have to wait 7-12 months before starting again. Really just have to give my body a break.
Was it worth it? I think so. Knowing ahead of time how it would treat my body was key in its success. I'll update the Accutane entries for others, so they have all the links in one sitting. I just haven't felt like writing lately.
Hmmm, what else?
I threw my back out this past Friday. I was moisturizing my legs on the side of the tub, leaned forward and everything started to seize up. By midnight I could no longer lift my legs. The pain was too much. I had to take a cab to the hospital. :( Not bad really, round trip was only 2 hours.
While I was there, after xrays etc, the nurses administer two shots in my ass.
1. morphine. 2. an anti-inflammatory. Anti-inflammatory and I do not get along, but nothing I can't handle. However, codeine... hates me.
I had a horrible reaction to the morphine and percocets they had me take. Scary to see people running around you when you start reacting. Then stupid me, took a percocet before my hair apt on Saturday so I could get thru the apt, and had another very adverse reaction to it. Yup, probably allergic to codeine. My hairdresser and her staff were amazing. Made sure I was comfortable etc. I wasn't leaving, I waited two months for that apt, I wasn't giving it up unless I absolutely had too!!
I have new medication for my back. I'm not a fan of taking medication in general, but what a difference! I have a muscle relaxer for bedtime. An anti-inflamatory with special coating for my stomach and a pain killer. That's a lot of drugs. Add physio and I'm walking again as of Tuesday! Woot woot!
Thankfully I meet with my new family doctor next week and getting an allergy test will be first priority.
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Accutane. Thanksgiving. Xmas
Friday was, what I'd hope would be my last appointment with the dermatologist. Not so. I'm probably looking at a year on this as long as I can tolerate it.
7.5 months in and we've changed the dose from 40mg a day to a 40/80 every other day. As long as my body will tolerate it and the bad cholesterol stays down, (which btw is down to 3.2 now, started at 2.3 and spiked to 5.2) we might finish on this dosage.
It's been a bad month for bone pain, aches and pains. Not unusual later in the treatment. I've still yet to find any blogs that continue after 4 months at a regular dose.
At first I thought taking the accutane in the summer might be bad with dryness etc. Now that it's cooling off and the air is changing, and not to mention turning the heat on in my apt, just to take the chill off....well winter might be worse for the side effects. My eyes and inner nose are dying from dryness. No amount of Vaseline or drops seems to be help. I'll adjust.
Good news.... my liver is holding up with the limited alcohol I've been ingesting. woot!
Ok, moving on...
Thanksgiving...
#1 Pet Peeve: People who are notoriously late.
I waited 30 mins in a very unsavory area of crackville, waiting for my ride. I texted her to say I was waiting 15 more minutes then heading home. My ride arrives almost immediately, and I'm promptly asked why I didn't call??.....
I'm sorry?? If I said I'd be at Point A @ 3pm, you should be here at 3pm. I shouldn't have to call unless I've missed a bus or something happens. If I can get here on time via transit, you should also be able to arrive on time via a car. (unless there is an accident etc).
Those kind of things annoy the friggin piss out of me! Anyone who knows me, knows I'm always on time. ALWAYS! Unless it's out of my control. I'm flexible with friends who have small children, cos I know how that can go down. Though no kids, don't be late. If you can get to work and meetings on time, you can arrive to our plans on time too.
Moving on to the good stuff.
Dinner was amazing! Company was good. Laughter and memories. Turkey Coma = bliss. I'm still recovering from the turkey induced coma over the weekend. I might not have to eat until next week.
Xmas.
Talking to one of my sisters over the weekend, she happened to ask again if I'd be in town for Christmas. I had mentioned it a few times earlier in the year that I would be. I received a formal invite (not a, "you know you're always welcome", bullshit comment).
It's official. I'm spending Christmas with my one sister, niece and grandniece. :)
I have Xmas shopping to do! The first time in 6 years that I've had to go out and buy actual gifts. Kind of excited. I'll start and finish next week. :)
This is a big deal. I haven't spent Christmas with any blood family in 10 years. The Xmas after my Mum passed away was the last time all of the siblings were in the same room on a holiday.
I'm emotional, scared and excited all at the same time. Kind of feels like all the effort I've put out to make sure we all stay in touch, is slowly starting to pay off. Now, I will never hold my breath to see all the siblings in the same room again. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the little successes of lunch dates and not end up with tables turned or siblings in the river etc... I'll take it.
7.5 months in and we've changed the dose from 40mg a day to a 40/80 every other day. As long as my body will tolerate it and the bad cholesterol stays down, (which btw is down to 3.2 now, started at 2.3 and spiked to 5.2) we might finish on this dosage.
It's been a bad month for bone pain, aches and pains. Not unusual later in the treatment. I've still yet to find any blogs that continue after 4 months at a regular dose.
At first I thought taking the accutane in the summer might be bad with dryness etc. Now that it's cooling off and the air is changing, and not to mention turning the heat on in my apt, just to take the chill off....well winter might be worse for the side effects. My eyes and inner nose are dying from dryness. No amount of Vaseline or drops seems to be help. I'll adjust.
Good news.... my liver is holding up with the limited alcohol I've been ingesting. woot!
Ok, moving on...
Thanksgiving...
#1 Pet Peeve: People who are notoriously late.
I waited 30 mins in a very unsavory area of crackville, waiting for my ride. I texted her to say I was waiting 15 more minutes then heading home. My ride arrives almost immediately, and I'm promptly asked why I didn't call??.....
I'm sorry?? If I said I'd be at Point A @ 3pm, you should be here at 3pm. I shouldn't have to call unless I've missed a bus or something happens. If I can get here on time via transit, you should also be able to arrive on time via a car. (unless there is an accident etc).
Those kind of things annoy the friggin piss out of me! Anyone who knows me, knows I'm always on time. ALWAYS! Unless it's out of my control. I'm flexible with friends who have small children, cos I know how that can go down. Though no kids, don't be late. If you can get to work and meetings on time, you can arrive to our plans on time too.
Moving on to the good stuff.
Dinner was amazing! Company was good. Laughter and memories. Turkey Coma = bliss. I'm still recovering from the turkey induced coma over the weekend. I might not have to eat until next week.
Xmas.
Talking to one of my sisters over the weekend, she happened to ask again if I'd be in town for Christmas. I had mentioned it a few times earlier in the year that I would be. I received a formal invite (not a, "you know you're always welcome", bullshit comment).
It's official. I'm spending Christmas with my one sister, niece and grandniece. :)
I have Xmas shopping to do! The first time in 6 years that I've had to go out and buy actual gifts. Kind of excited. I'll start and finish next week. :)
This is a big deal. I haven't spent Christmas with any blood family in 10 years. The Xmas after my Mum passed away was the last time all of the siblings were in the same room on a holiday.
I'm emotional, scared and excited all at the same time. Kind of feels like all the effort I've put out to make sure we all stay in touch, is slowly starting to pay off. Now, I will never hold my breath to see all the siblings in the same room again. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the little successes of lunch dates and not end up with tables turned or siblings in the river etc... I'll take it.
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
7 months Accutane - Men sucking.
Things are pretty uneventful around my life right now. Which is nice.
The Douche has ceased with the text messaging for the time being.
The roommate is working out.....
Life has just gone back to normal. For a bit there, it was very social. Lots of eating out, and spending money. Fortunately, it was on stuff I "needed" not want. I had some control. But now I'm broke. lol
Accutane is still kicking my ass. I started up Yoga again, and after 3 classes had to quit again. I was feeling okay, but have done something to my shoulders and neck, which has landed me back in physio. :( Being fragile with bone density while on accutane is sad. I know what 80 yr little ladies must feel like. It's emotional to feel okay, then move and feel like bones could break.
I have a follow up in two week with my dermatologist, and I'm really hoping she calls it a day. I want to be off this drug. I can stop at any time,(no one is holding a gun to my head) though I really want to be past the point of the acne going back to the way it was.
I think I am. Maybe one.more.month, but that is it. Not sure my body can take more. Once I'm off it, I'll be upping the calcium again. I'm still taking it, however not every meal and I forget. So really, I'm taking it once a day instead of the recommended 3 times day. I've already broke the two rules I must abide by. Sans sex and alcohol. Both of which I've had in the last two weeks. I'm done. I'm so ready to be off this drug.
Minor drama. Nothing life altering.
....Another male friend who has a live in g/f has been moping cos I won't sleep with him. Wtf? Dude you're in a committed relationship. That means, no sexting, no inappropriate conversations, no rehashing the past affairs we've had when we were both single. It's all cheating.
Well. That wasn't received well at all. I was met with a text message full of mean words, pouting and minor name calling. Can it even be minor if you're trying to belittle someone for having morals and trying to stay consistent?
Until this moment, I liked this guy. He was fun, always up for anything. Now, I'm afraid, I have to say goodbye if he can't respect my decision. What he does with his relationship is his business. Don't turn into a bitch when I decline to be part of it. I've have enough male bitches in my life, I do not need another one thanks. Just got rid of the last one.
I asked him as nicely as I could to stop acting like a little girl. And if he didn't like or respect my decision to not be part of an affair with him, then we might have to rethink where we stand as friends. "Whatever", was his only response. I've kept the msg's for reasons to protect myself at the moment.
Should he choose to be a bigger douche about it, I'll contact the g/f directly,(we have a few mutual friends) and kindly let her know how I'm being propositioned by her b/f of 4 years... I would hate to go that route. I'm trying to live by the whole "do unto others" etc.. cos I know I'd want someone to respect the sisterhood enough to tell me my man is a cheating whore. Gawd knows it didn't happen in the past. But that's a story for another time, that really, doesn't need to be rehashed. Moving forward. I still know where/when/how to pick my battles. That's never been an issue.
So that my stalkers, is the only little drama I have at the moment. I say little, cos I refuse to humour this conversation more than just writing it here.
The Douche has ceased with the text messaging for the time being.
The roommate is working out.....
Life has just gone back to normal. For a bit there, it was very social. Lots of eating out, and spending money. Fortunately, it was on stuff I "needed" not want. I had some control. But now I'm broke. lol
Accutane is still kicking my ass. I started up Yoga again, and after 3 classes had to quit again. I was feeling okay, but have done something to my shoulders and neck, which has landed me back in physio. :( Being fragile with bone density while on accutane is sad. I know what 80 yr little ladies must feel like. It's emotional to feel okay, then move and feel like bones could break.
I have a follow up in two week with my dermatologist, and I'm really hoping she calls it a day. I want to be off this drug. I can stop at any time,(no one is holding a gun to my head) though I really want to be past the point of the acne going back to the way it was.
I think I am. Maybe one.more.month, but that is it. Not sure my body can take more. Once I'm off it, I'll be upping the calcium again. I'm still taking it, however not every meal and I forget. So really, I'm taking it once a day instead of the recommended 3 times day. I've already broke the two rules I must abide by. Sans sex and alcohol. Both of which I've had in the last two weeks. I'm done. I'm so ready to be off this drug.
Minor drama. Nothing life altering.
....Another male friend who has a live in g/f has been moping cos I won't sleep with him. Wtf? Dude you're in a committed relationship. That means, no sexting, no inappropriate conversations, no rehashing the past affairs we've had when we were both single. It's all cheating.
Well. That wasn't received well at all. I was met with a text message full of mean words, pouting and minor name calling. Can it even be minor if you're trying to belittle someone for having morals and trying to stay consistent?
Until this moment, I liked this guy. He was fun, always up for anything. Now, I'm afraid, I have to say goodbye if he can't respect my decision. What he does with his relationship is his business. Don't turn into a bitch when I decline to be part of it. I've have enough male bitches in my life, I do not need another one thanks. Just got rid of the last one.
I asked him as nicely as I could to stop acting like a little girl. And if he didn't like or respect my decision to not be part of an affair with him, then we might have to rethink where we stand as friends. "Whatever", was his only response. I've kept the msg's for reasons to protect myself at the moment.
Should he choose to be a bigger douche about it, I'll contact the g/f directly,(we have a few mutual friends) and kindly let her know how I'm being propositioned by her b/f of 4 years... I would hate to go that route. I'm trying to live by the whole "do unto others" etc.. cos I know I'd want someone to respect the sisterhood enough to tell me my man is a cheating whore. Gawd knows it didn't happen in the past. But that's a story for another time, that really, doesn't need to be rehashed. Moving forward. I still know where/when/how to pick my battles. That's never been an issue.
So that my stalkers, is the only little drama I have at the moment. I say little, cos I refuse to humour this conversation more than just writing it here.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Accutane Update - 4 months and counting
I came to realize recently a common factor in all the accutane blogs I read.... there isn't one update after 4 months. Only that they finished the cycle. I'm 4 months 2weeks in. 2.5 months left!!!!
By now, I'm use to the aches and pains, and although they move around, so its consistently a "new" pain to get use too. Random sleepless nights, bouts of heavy depression, and I've adapted to the dryness of my skin, lips, occasionally the lady bits, and my hair.
I'm coming up on 2 full weeks, since the last time I actually put shampoo in my hair. I wet and condition it often, but actual shampoo? Not a friggin chance! I think it's the only thing preventing my hair from thinning. I'll wash it when it accumulates enough oil to actually make my hair dirty. Even with the Moroccan Oil, and other Redken Products, I still do not feel the need to wash my hair.
I'm gaining weight, and have a problem with my right arm which is being looked at on the 19th. The arm pain (feels like its broken) could be a result/side effect of the accutane. As the weeks go by it's harder to lift the arm or twist it in every day activities without it feeling like it could snap off at any point. I'd welcome that idea if the pain would go away and I'd have full use of my arm again.
Overall, I've adjusted to taking this stupid pill. My thoughts on the end result? I'm still going to having reoccurring hormonal acne. I get it even now while taking the Accutane. End result, I will not take this cycle again. I'm over it. The depression is a work of art. It is a side effect, and when I'm feeling all blah (which seems to be more often than not) I tell myself it's the pills, and this will all be over in September. :) It seems to help me cope a bit.
I can see the light at the end of this cycle and simply.can.not.wait.
Single & Picky, and I hung out Saturday, and I tell ya, can we gab! Good times for such a low key afternoon. P.S. Loving the jam!!! Yum! Thanks!
During out visit and many many topics we covered, I made silent notes to myself about what to talk about to my new shrink...(when I finally locate one I like). I have trust issues. You readers may have already known this about me. I however, just admitted it to myself for the first time ever. I do. Have trust issues. And am determined to get help with that.
Where is all stems from is the other question. Is it being overly observant at times, being able to call bullshit, or being a pessimist and I look for it, so it finds me? Was there some event of mass deception that I'm unable to recall?
Regardless, I don't trust many people. I like to think I do until you give me a reason not too, though I don't think that's all that honest either.
I whole heartily trust a few people.
That's all I'm going to say about it for now, cos I really think it's something I need to work on in private.
By now, I'm use to the aches and pains, and although they move around, so its consistently a "new" pain to get use too. Random sleepless nights, bouts of heavy depression, and I've adapted to the dryness of my skin, lips, occasionally the lady bits, and my hair.
I'm coming up on 2 full weeks, since the last time I actually put shampoo in my hair. I wet and condition it often, but actual shampoo? Not a friggin chance! I think it's the only thing preventing my hair from thinning. I'll wash it when it accumulates enough oil to actually make my hair dirty. Even with the Moroccan Oil, and other Redken Products, I still do not feel the need to wash my hair.
I'm gaining weight, and have a problem with my right arm which is being looked at on the 19th. The arm pain (feels like its broken) could be a result/side effect of the accutane. As the weeks go by it's harder to lift the arm or twist it in every day activities without it feeling like it could snap off at any point. I'd welcome that idea if the pain would go away and I'd have full use of my arm again.
Overall, I've adjusted to taking this stupid pill. My thoughts on the end result? I'm still going to having reoccurring hormonal acne. I get it even now while taking the Accutane. End result, I will not take this cycle again. I'm over it. The depression is a work of art. It is a side effect, and when I'm feeling all blah (which seems to be more often than not) I tell myself it's the pills, and this will all be over in September. :) It seems to help me cope a bit.
I can see the light at the end of this cycle and simply.can.not.wait.
Single & Picky, and I hung out Saturday, and I tell ya, can we gab! Good times for such a low key afternoon. P.S. Loving the jam!!! Yum! Thanks!
During out visit and many many topics we covered, I made silent notes to myself about what to talk about to my new shrink...(when I finally locate one I like). I have trust issues. You readers may have already known this about me. I however, just admitted it to myself for the first time ever. I do. Have trust issues. And am determined to get help with that.
Where is all stems from is the other question. Is it being overly observant at times, being able to call bullshit, or being a pessimist and I look for it, so it finds me? Was there some event of mass deception that I'm unable to recall?
Regardless, I don't trust many people. I like to think I do until you give me a reason not too, though I don't think that's all that honest either.
I whole heartily trust a few people.
That's all I'm going to say about it for now, cos I really think it's something I need to work on in private.
Monday, 20 June 2011
Bra Shopping is a Bitch!
Friday while sitting at my desk, I heard a "pop/snap". Similar to that of something whipping an elastic band at you... but felt nothing.
I thought it was my bra. Upon inspection in the private bathroom, I couldn't find anything amiss and decided that someone had indeed tried to get me with an elastic band, though no evidence was located.
While at the dermatologist later that afternoon, she's making note of some small infections on my body. (think pimples that will.not.heal.) and mentions the wire in my bra is broken. WTH!? Sure enough it was. :( Bra shopping here I come ;'(
Since I find it hard to find a bra that meets all my requirements in department stores, (holding the puppies solid in place, comfortable, minimizing, pretty?) I chose to get fitted and shop at Penningtons Lougheed. A plus size store.
WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT.
The girl that fitted me, ensured I had been wearing the wrong bra size. Funny how they all say that. I wear a 40DD.(I get fitted every time I buy a new bra) She insisted I was a 38D and probably "too small" to be shopping there. Ummm, explain to me how I'm gaining weight still and yet my boobs got smaller? Not possible. Not to mention they carry 36D - 52G or some ridiculous size. Yet I'm too small? Though I humoured her to prove her oh.so.wrong.
Trying to cram my boobs into bra's that are clearly too small for me, in band and cup; she has the nerve to tell me, "Oh that fits nicely!!" I gave her a look like she was utterly stupid, she clearly had no idea what she was doing. She gave me many excuses how sizing in a plus size was different from regular sizing. First I call bullshit. These are not jeans we're fitting, its a bra to hold in 10 lbs of flesh from bouncing around and giving myself a black eye when I walk.
I asked her to fetch me a 40DD in a minimizer, reluctantly she did... and what do you know.. IT FIT! Though I was in no mood to give her a sale, I got dressed and left. With that kind of unknowledgeable staff working there, I'll probably never return. Not true, though I will make a point of not buying bra's there, nor accepting any kind of assistance from this particular person.
Bra shopping is hard enough as it is for 90% of women on the planet, add ill-equipped staff to the mix, and you have a recipe for many tears and discouragement.
Off to The Bay- Lougheed where 90 yr old women who have been at this forever will fit me properly. I'm fitted, and what do you know, I'm still a 40DD. I try on my true and trusted and it no longer fits the way it use too. :( The wire in the middle between the boobs was too high and would not lay flat against my chest. :(
No discouragement, my great helper runs out and grabs about 20 different bras, two sizes for each style. Love when they do that. She gave me her opinions, and I found two that work. Though neither are from the minimizing family. Get to the register til, and find out it's 2 for 1 at for Bay Days. Sweet. Instead of spending $40 a piece, I got both for $47 :-) In and out of The Bay in an hour and not once did I want to shed a tear or chop my boobs off right there and more importantly, did not want to kill the helper.
It will take some getting use to seeing my boobs in shirts etc and not being minimized. However, I am comfortable, and for the moment, the puppies are not barking to be freed from their snug holding departments.
Also treated myself to an early birthday present. Some vanilla body spray, a new MP3 player, and a small ring that resembles the eternity band I want from Michael Hill -Lougheed (love the staff there - they are my official jeweler) but for a whole lot less moola. :)
ACCUTANE UPDATE
My cholesterol is back to 3.2 (high end of normal) and I got approved for months 4 and 5. woot almost see the end!
I have (one) little pimple on my inner thigh, that just will not heal! Along with this same pimple on other spots of my body. Getting small staph infections is not completely uncommon when on Accutane or pre-existing eczema. Cure: 1/2 a cup of bleach in a full bath once a month. Easy.
Okay, I think you're caught up for the moment.
Nothing more to write about at this time. Still in a bit of a funk.
I thought it was my bra. Upon inspection in the private bathroom, I couldn't find anything amiss and decided that someone had indeed tried to get me with an elastic band, though no evidence was located.
While at the dermatologist later that afternoon, she's making note of some small infections on my body. (think pimples that will.not.heal.) and mentions the wire in my bra is broken. WTH!? Sure enough it was. :( Bra shopping here I come ;'(
Since I find it hard to find a bra that meets all my requirements in department stores, (holding the puppies solid in place, comfortable, minimizing, pretty?) I chose to get fitted and shop at Penningtons Lougheed. A plus size store.
WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT.
The girl that fitted me, ensured I had been wearing the wrong bra size. Funny how they all say that. I wear a 40DD.(I get fitted every time I buy a new bra) She insisted I was a 38D and probably "too small" to be shopping there. Ummm, explain to me how I'm gaining weight still and yet my boobs got smaller? Not possible. Not to mention they carry 36D - 52G or some ridiculous size. Yet I'm too small? Though I humoured her to prove her oh.so.wrong.
Trying to cram my boobs into bra's that are clearly too small for me, in band and cup; she has the nerve to tell me, "Oh that fits nicely!!" I gave her a look like she was utterly stupid, she clearly had no idea what she was doing. She gave me many excuses how sizing in a plus size was different from regular sizing. First I call bullshit. These are not jeans we're fitting, its a bra to hold in 10 lbs of flesh from bouncing around and giving myself a black eye when I walk.
I asked her to fetch me a 40DD in a minimizer, reluctantly she did... and what do you know.. IT FIT! Though I was in no mood to give her a sale, I got dressed and left. With that kind of unknowledgeable staff working there, I'll probably never return. Not true, though I will make a point of not buying bra's there, nor accepting any kind of assistance from this particular person.
Bra shopping is hard enough as it is for 90% of women on the planet, add ill-equipped staff to the mix, and you have a recipe for many tears and discouragement.
Off to The Bay- Lougheed where 90 yr old women who have been at this forever will fit me properly. I'm fitted, and what do you know, I'm still a 40DD. I try on my true and trusted and it no longer fits the way it use too. :( The wire in the middle between the boobs was too high and would not lay flat against my chest. :(
No discouragement, my great helper runs out and grabs about 20 different bras, two sizes for each style. Love when they do that. She gave me her opinions, and I found two that work. Though neither are from the minimizing family. Get to the register til, and find out it's 2 for 1 at for Bay Days. Sweet. Instead of spending $40 a piece, I got both for $47 :-) In and out of The Bay in an hour and not once did I want to shed a tear or chop my boobs off right there and more importantly, did not want to kill the helper.
It will take some getting use to seeing my boobs in shirts etc and not being minimized. However, I am comfortable, and for the moment, the puppies are not barking to be freed from their snug holding departments.
Also treated myself to an early birthday present. Some vanilla body spray, a new MP3 player, and a small ring that resembles the eternity band I want from Michael Hill -Lougheed (love the staff there - they are my official jeweler) but for a whole lot less moola. :)
ACCUTANE UPDATE
My cholesterol is back to 3.2 (high end of normal) and I got approved for months 4 and 5. woot almost see the end!
I have (one) little pimple on my inner thigh, that just will not heal! Along with this same pimple on other spots of my body. Getting small staph infections is not completely uncommon when on Accutane or pre-existing eczema. Cure: 1/2 a cup of bleach in a full bath once a month. Easy.
Okay, I think you're caught up for the moment.
Nothing more to write about at this time. Still in a bit of a funk.
Monday, 13 June 2011
Accutane 1 - Just Saying - 0
We're officially over the hump of the half way mark in this 6 months.
Recap:
Month 1 - 40 mg
Minor constant nose bleeds, lethargic, dryness, slight tremors, aches and pains.
Bad ccholesterol in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 2 - 80 mg
Heavier nose bleeds, Minimized by cauterizing, itchy due to dryness, no tremors, aches and pains are manageable.
Bad ccholesterol higher but still in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 3 - 40 mg
Tremors constant, lethargic all the time, emotional, aches and pains blah, nose bleeds minor but constant, minor acne break outs all over my body, small staph infections appearing (shoulder, back of hand, inner thigh)
Bad cholesterol too high, liver function decreased, (hence the decrease in mg's)pregnancy negative.
I have my next appointment this Friday and I'm all about ready to call it quits.
The side effects are all so minor but really taking it's toll on me this month.
Month 2 was by far the easiest month of the 3 so far. Funny cos it was that month that I was the least healthy on this.
Since we decreased the milligrams, I'm having minor acne. It was enough to make me cry over the weekend. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm not so sure anymore that having acne free skin forever is worth this crap. I know that's not true. Part of me though hopes I'm taken off the accutane this weekend, the other half of me does not... I really want clear skin forever.
I've gotten use to not wearing makeup. Love it. One thing I'll take away from all this, is I know now that I can indeed keep my hands of my face.
I let Douchebag come over on Sunday. He called to say Hey, and he was in the area. I lost it on the phone with him. Just sobbed. He came over and just let me let go for about an hour, then left. It was what I needed. Exhausted and feeling deflated, I napped hard after the meltdown. It's moments like that, that remind me he has a decent bone, but it doesn't minimize all the other shit.
Not sure the meltdown was all about the accutane though. I think it was a combo of Laurie's situation, Mothers Day and Mum's anniversary passing and her birthday coming up. In short, I guess it was a woes is me moment/stress cry.
Functioning today, not great, but better. Just tired of feeling run down, like I'm going to get the flu or something, all.the.damn.time.
Recap:
Month 1 - 40 mg
Minor constant nose bleeds, lethargic, dryness, slight tremors, aches and pains.
Bad ccholesterol in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 2 - 80 mg
Heavier nose bleeds, Minimized by cauterizing, itchy due to dryness, no tremors, aches and pains are manageable.
Bad ccholesterol higher but still in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 3 - 40 mg
Tremors constant, lethargic all the time, emotional, aches and pains blah, nose bleeds minor but constant, minor acne break outs all over my body, small staph infections appearing (shoulder, back of hand, inner thigh)
Bad cholesterol too high, liver function decreased, (hence the decrease in mg's)pregnancy negative.
I have my next appointment this Friday and I'm all about ready to call it quits.
The side effects are all so minor but really taking it's toll on me this month.
Month 2 was by far the easiest month of the 3 so far. Funny cos it was that month that I was the least healthy on this.
Since we decreased the milligrams, I'm having minor acne. It was enough to make me cry over the weekend. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm not so sure anymore that having acne free skin forever is worth this crap. I know that's not true. Part of me though hopes I'm taken off the accutane this weekend, the other half of me does not... I really want clear skin forever.
I've gotten use to not wearing makeup. Love it. One thing I'll take away from all this, is I know now that I can indeed keep my hands of my face.
I let Douchebag come over on Sunday. He called to say Hey, and he was in the area. I lost it on the phone with him. Just sobbed. He came over and just let me let go for about an hour, then left. It was what I needed. Exhausted and feeling deflated, I napped hard after the meltdown. It's moments like that, that remind me he has a decent bone, but it doesn't minimize all the other shit.
Not sure the meltdown was all about the accutane though. I think it was a combo of Laurie's situation, Mothers Day and Mum's anniversary passing and her birthday coming up. In short, I guess it was a woes is me moment/stress cry.
Functioning today, not great, but better. Just tired of feeling run down, like I'm going to get the flu or something, all.the.damn.time.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Shut up brain...Or I'll poke you with a Q-Tip.
The end of this month will be 11 years since my Mum passed away; 6 years this past February was my Dad's anniversary. At times it feels like it's been months, other times, years. Most anniversaries that pass, I share their favorite bottle of wine and shop for something selfish or drink a 6 pack of beer, & play solitaire with real cards and reflect on many things. Others, thankfully not often, there are times when it passes almost like any other day. Then there are milestone years. No rhyme or reason as to when and why I'm sadder some years over others. This year, sad, for both. Even sad for those I don't know, when I hear about loss in their lives, makes me tear up. Even empathy for TV characters going thru shit.
I'm 39 next month and think I might actually be having a mini midlife crisis. Instead of wondering when I'll have the things I want (spouse/husband/better job, relationship with my siblings etc) I find myself starting to prepare myself for a life alone.
Last Tuesday when I cut my hand, I called 3 friends first to see if one of them could drive me to the hospital rather than taking a taxi. One was in a conference, one didn't answer the phone (and still have yet to call back even with a detailed voicemail/text), the third one simply said No. Funny the one that said no, was the one that lived the closest. Her reason, they had just settled in for the night to watch a movie. Her other reason, if the cut was serious enough, just call 911.
Bitch.
It's things like that, that make me realize that I still have people in my life I shouldn't, and that maybe I don't have the friends I thought I did. Maybe I'm more alone than I thought. I've invested in people more than they've invested in me. I'm still having one-way friendships. At least that's how it feels. I know people come and go, but maybe, maybe I'm not all that likable. Ya I'm feeling a little sorry for myself at the moment, but come on, I was bleeding (see gushing at first) every where, freaking out a little... no one came to help. Not knowing at the time that it wasn't all that serious, though so.not.the.point... What if it had been serious and I had been one of those people who faints at the site of blood???
I've been independent for so long and have had a problem letting people in in the past, but this struck a cord with me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my friends, no matter how silly or small the issue or task at hand. No pun intended. Though I'm deleting phone numbers and people off facebook with more frequency. In the convenient world of technology, instant communication, people being glued to their cell phones, and data plans, actions still speak louder than words. And the actions have not been good.
Am I a friendship snob? Do I expect too much or do I simply have the morals and principles of a different life time?
I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on all of it. There is something to learn from everything. Right? Maybe it's still an adjustment period of having new people in my life.
I spoke with my old house guest two weeks ago. By email. I was at work when the overwhelming vibe to check on her. I'm sure I've mentioned in the past we have a kindred connection. We just know when the other is distressed. Not just having a bad day, but really distressed. So I sent her an email, saying just that. "Had an overwhelming urge to check on you. Just let me know you're okay...." She replied a couple days later, "It's funny how you always know when to check on me. Thing are ok, just okay. I'll write more later when I can explain".
Ran it past Elizabeth Singleton, although she thought it was a bad idea to email her in the first place, she stood by my decision. When LC replied again explaining that life was still shit, but was trying to make the best of it with some other details. Over all it was a couple sentences. I decided not to reply with any more questions, she really did not give me anything to reply too. I replied with a short, "ok, thanks for letting me know you're okay." Nothing more. I did not mention it earlier cos I wasn't sure I was going to write about it at all and simply did not want too.
I do see us being friends again much later in life. Right now, I cannot be there for her until she gets her life in order. Not much of a friend? As long as people are around to "support her" we are essentially enabling her to continue taking advantage of us. She has to realize on her own, that no matter how shitty her life has been for the last 13 yrs, she is responsible for her own choices and consequences. I doubt she will contact me again until she can be the friend she should have been.
Accutane update:
Got my recent blood work back and it wasn't good. My bad cholesterol levels spiked considerably. It started off at the high end of normal, which was 2.3. Now it's 5.3.
Not good at all.
I was hoping to increase the mg's from 80 to 120 for the reminder of the cycle; instead we decreased it to 40 mg's from 80. I have one month to lower my levels or I'll have to be taken off the accutane and put on a cholesterol lowering medication temporarily to help lower the levels if I'm unable to do it myself.
Thankfully it's as simple as really being more diligent with my diet. No "fatty foods" while on accutane. Red meats, dairy (bye bye lattes) cheese, etc. all have to be fairly limited. I have to start walking. You're not suppose to work out while taking this, due to the ability to properly sweat and the aches and pains that follow etc, but walking isn't really exercising. I have to stop being 100% sedentary.
Lately I feel like I'm a mega Debbie Downer.
I'm really not. I'm a fairly happy person. I tend to use this blog to vent so not to bother friends with it, rather than sharing the funny, stupid, dorky things more often. Going to make more effort to change up this blog to something more positive. Even I can only read so much woes it me.
Very long story short; I'm missing something that will make me more whole. I like myself and my life for the most part. I'd like myself more if I was more financially stable. Not rich, just more stable, I think I would have more confidence and a little less stress about material things, clothes, car, outtings, holidays etc. Hence I really need to upgrade my skills.
I'm 39 next month and think I might actually be having a mini midlife crisis. Instead of wondering when I'll have the things I want (spouse/husband/better job, relationship with my siblings etc) I find myself starting to prepare myself for a life alone.
Last Tuesday when I cut my hand, I called 3 friends first to see if one of them could drive me to the hospital rather than taking a taxi. One was in a conference, one didn't answer the phone (and still have yet to call back even with a detailed voicemail/text), the third one simply said No. Funny the one that said no, was the one that lived the closest. Her reason, they had just settled in for the night to watch a movie. Her other reason, if the cut was serious enough, just call 911.
Bitch.
It's things like that, that make me realize that I still have people in my life I shouldn't, and that maybe I don't have the friends I thought I did. Maybe I'm more alone than I thought. I've invested in people more than they've invested in me. I'm still having one-way friendships. At least that's how it feels. I know people come and go, but maybe, maybe I'm not all that likable. Ya I'm feeling a little sorry for myself at the moment, but come on, I was bleeding (see gushing at first) every where, freaking out a little... no one came to help. Not knowing at the time that it wasn't all that serious, though so.not.the.point... What if it had been serious and I had been one of those people who faints at the site of blood???
I've been independent for so long and have had a problem letting people in in the past, but this struck a cord with me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my friends, no matter how silly or small the issue or task at hand. No pun intended. Though I'm deleting phone numbers and people off facebook with more frequency. In the convenient world of technology, instant communication, people being glued to their cell phones, and data plans, actions still speak louder than words. And the actions have not been good.
Am I a friendship snob? Do I expect too much or do I simply have the morals and principles of a different life time?
I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on all of it. There is something to learn from everything. Right? Maybe it's still an adjustment period of having new people in my life.
I spoke with my old house guest two weeks ago. By email. I was at work when the overwhelming vibe to check on her. I'm sure I've mentioned in the past we have a kindred connection. We just know when the other is distressed. Not just having a bad day, but really distressed. So I sent her an email, saying just that. "Had an overwhelming urge to check on you. Just let me know you're okay...." She replied a couple days later, "It's funny how you always know when to check on me. Thing are ok, just okay. I'll write more later when I can explain".
Ran it past Elizabeth Singleton, although she thought it was a bad idea to email her in the first place, she stood by my decision. When LC replied again explaining that life was still shit, but was trying to make the best of it with some other details. Over all it was a couple sentences. I decided not to reply with any more questions, she really did not give me anything to reply too. I replied with a short, "ok, thanks for letting me know you're okay." Nothing more. I did not mention it earlier cos I wasn't sure I was going to write about it at all and simply did not want too.
I do see us being friends again much later in life. Right now, I cannot be there for her until she gets her life in order. Not much of a friend? As long as people are around to "support her" we are essentially enabling her to continue taking advantage of us. She has to realize on her own, that no matter how shitty her life has been for the last 13 yrs, she is responsible for her own choices and consequences. I doubt she will contact me again until she can be the friend she should have been.
Accutane update:
Got my recent blood work back and it wasn't good. My bad cholesterol levels spiked considerably. It started off at the high end of normal, which was 2.3. Now it's 5.3.
Not good at all.
I was hoping to increase the mg's from 80 to 120 for the reminder of the cycle; instead we decreased it to 40 mg's from 80. I have one month to lower my levels or I'll have to be taken off the accutane and put on a cholesterol lowering medication temporarily to help lower the levels if I'm unable to do it myself.
Thankfully it's as simple as really being more diligent with my diet. No "fatty foods" while on accutane. Red meats, dairy (bye bye lattes) cheese, etc. all have to be fairly limited. I have to start walking. You're not suppose to work out while taking this, due to the ability to properly sweat and the aches and pains that follow etc, but walking isn't really exercising. I have to stop being 100% sedentary.
Lately I feel like I'm a mega Debbie Downer.
I'm really not. I'm a fairly happy person. I tend to use this blog to vent so not to bother friends with it, rather than sharing the funny, stupid, dorky things more often. Going to make more effort to change up this blog to something more positive. Even I can only read so much woes it me.
Very long story short; I'm missing something that will make me more whole. I like myself and my life for the most part. I'd like myself more if I was more financially stable. Not rich, just more stable, I think I would have more confidence and a little less stress about material things, clothes, car, outtings, holidays etc. Hence I really need to upgrade my skills.
Monday, 9 May 2011
Accutane Update 67 days down, 113 more to go.
Day 76.67(oops) Starting my 3rd month.
The side effects had all subsided for a bit, or I just got use to them. Just a while ago, everything started to feel yucky again. Fatigue, heavy nose bleeds, aches and pains, headaches, complete lost of appetite, sleepless.
Those have been the vain of this treatment. I've said it many times before, individually, these side effects are all very minor. Cluster them together and its a pain in the ass at times. I hate feeling this tired.
Physio guy has recommended that I not exercise at all while on this, or I could misinterpret those aches and pains for pulled muscles etc. Of course I had to ask if the kink in my neck was a result of this. He replied, "no", I was defiantly gibbled in the neck. I have one more treatment with him and then I'll be done. He's a man of his word. 4 sessions. Each week there is way less pain and discomfort than before. So unless I conveniently hurt myself before the next session, that will be the last time I see Mr. Physio guy for a bit. :(
I must find a way to casually bring up being facebook pals. ;-) Ya I'm unprofessional at times. Or I'll just continue to stalk him via his wife's page. :)
Sorry off track - Accutane.
I had my nose cauterized on Thursday. It's not fun. Not my first time having this done, but it's been over a decade since the last time I'm sure. It's like a long Q-tip, they rub it around the inside of your nose. It's uncomfortable, and tastes even worse. Metallic. YUM. Then you're told not to sneeze, swallow, blow your nose, or spit for an hour, oh and keep your fingers out of your nose. ????? Hahahahahah ever try and stop a sneeze, or not spit out the bug you just swallowed? Good luck. Since Thursday, I"ve only had very minor bleeds. No need to blow constantly anymore.
My fingers are in my nose on a regular basis to lube it with Vaseline. Aside from that, I'm not helping any scabs release etc...ew, ya I know.... That's what he meant, and I completely understood. Cos the urge, no matter how disgusting it seems, to stick your finger in your nose and help release all that crap building up, well it's pretty damn tempting.
More blood work this coming Saturday and hopefully I get approved for another few months. Maybe at a higer dose, cos I really do not want to have to redo this cycle at any time in the future.
I drank a bunch of non-alcoholic beer on Saturday while entertaining Dan's bad manners. Turns out you can still get a hangover. All that hops, barley, wheat and preservatives do a number. Massive headache yesterday. Plus it doesn't help it was bad beer to begin with. One waitress was hoping it would start to taste better after a few more.. no chance. I'll stick to buying the non-alcoholic Heineken type... I think it was called Becker's.
Ok, I think that's it. 3 posts in less than 24 hours, I think I'm all up to date. ;-)
The side effects had all subsided for a bit, or I just got use to them. Just a while ago, everything started to feel yucky again. Fatigue, heavy nose bleeds, aches and pains, headaches, complete lost of appetite, sleepless.
Those have been the vain of this treatment. I've said it many times before, individually, these side effects are all very minor. Cluster them together and its a pain in the ass at times. I hate feeling this tired.
Physio guy has recommended that I not exercise at all while on this, or I could misinterpret those aches and pains for pulled muscles etc. Of course I had to ask if the kink in my neck was a result of this. He replied, "no", I was defiantly gibbled in the neck. I have one more treatment with him and then I'll be done. He's a man of his word. 4 sessions. Each week there is way less pain and discomfort than before. So unless I conveniently hurt myself before the next session, that will be the last time I see Mr. Physio guy for a bit. :(
I must find a way to casually bring up being facebook pals. ;-) Ya I'm unprofessional at times. Or I'll just continue to stalk him via his wife's page. :)
Sorry off track - Accutane.
I had my nose cauterized on Thursday. It's not fun. Not my first time having this done, but it's been over a decade since the last time I'm sure. It's like a long Q-tip, they rub it around the inside of your nose. It's uncomfortable, and tastes even worse. Metallic. YUM. Then you're told not to sneeze, swallow, blow your nose, or spit for an hour, oh and keep your fingers out of your nose. ????? Hahahahahah ever try and stop a sneeze, or not spit out the bug you just swallowed? Good luck. Since Thursday, I"ve only had very minor bleeds. No need to blow constantly anymore.
My fingers are in my nose on a regular basis to lube it with Vaseline. Aside from that, I'm not helping any scabs release etc...ew, ya I know.... That's what he meant, and I completely understood. Cos the urge, no matter how disgusting it seems, to stick your finger in your nose and help release all that crap building up, well it's pretty damn tempting.
More blood work this coming Saturday and hopefully I get approved for another few months. Maybe at a higer dose, cos I really do not want to have to redo this cycle at any time in the future.
I drank a bunch of non-alcoholic beer on Saturday while entertaining Dan's bad manners. Turns out you can still get a hangover. All that hops, barley, wheat and preservatives do a number. Massive headache yesterday. Plus it doesn't help it was bad beer to begin with. One waitress was hoping it would start to taste better after a few more.. no chance. I'll stick to buying the non-alcoholic Heineken type... I think it was called Becker's.
Ok, I think that's it. 3 posts in less than 24 hours, I think I'm all up to date. ;-)
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Honest Mr. Police Man, I Swear I Did Not Kill Anyone In My Bed.
Those would be the first words out of my mouth this morning had a cop seen my bed.
Ew, no! Not 'that'.
Blood everywhere. All over my pillow cases. Like I had gone to bed with a head wound or something. Discovered it was my nose! My nose bled who knows how many times throughout the night. I'm pretty sure my favorite pillow cases (white fleece) are ruined now.
I did not have time to prep them for laundry this morning, although I managed to pull the cases of the pillows at least.....after.....I woke up from what I thought was a pretty sound sleep, to the sound of water, everywhere. Jumped up, panicked that my apartment was flooded due to not turning off a tap in the kitchen or bathroom, overflowing toilet etc. Only to realize that it was the monsoon outside pounding my windows, and ceiling. Heavy rain that sounded like it was INSIDE my apartment.
Frazzled by that, then seeing my pillows, needless to say I was having a rough start. I no longer knew how to put my pants on, (one foot or two at a time) whether or not to brush my teeth first, make my lunch, get dressed etc.... too.many.decisions!!!!
Get to work, have my coffee, think... this coffee is shit. Only to realize later I put milk in it that expired TWO DAYS AGO!
.......But hey, the Canucks won last night!!! Round 2 baby!!!
Ew, no! Not 'that'.
Blood everywhere. All over my pillow cases. Like I had gone to bed with a head wound or something. Discovered it was my nose! My nose bled who knows how many times throughout the night. I'm pretty sure my favorite pillow cases (white fleece) are ruined now.
I did not have time to prep them for laundry this morning, although I managed to pull the cases of the pillows at least.....after.....I woke up from what I thought was a pretty sound sleep, to the sound of water, everywhere. Jumped up, panicked that my apartment was flooded due to not turning off a tap in the kitchen or bathroom, overflowing toilet etc. Only to realize that it was the monsoon outside pounding my windows, and ceiling. Heavy rain that sounded like it was INSIDE my apartment.
Frazzled by that, then seeing my pillows, needless to say I was having a rough start. I no longer knew how to put my pants on, (one foot or two at a time) whether or not to brush my teeth first, make my lunch, get dressed etc.... too.many.decisions!!!!
Get to work, have my coffee, think... this coffee is shit. Only to realize later I put milk in it that expired TWO DAYS AGO!
.......But hey, the Canucks won last night!!! Round 2 baby!!!
Thursday, 14 April 2011
Accutane Side Effects and Solutions.
Lately I've been reading old blogs of people who blogged solely for the purpose of being on the tane. Who knew there was slang for those of us on it.
This morning I woke up with a certain amount of pain/burning on the top of my right hand. Of course I freaked out a little as I've had a history (2 times now) with bedbugs and nearly cried at the thought of laundering my whole apartment, the time, the money, the hassle, the emotional stress etc. Upon closer examining it, I realized these were not bites, but rash-like. I've never had a rash in my life, so I really do not know what one on my own body would look like. Going about my morning at 0545 washing my hands,face, teeth etc, and winced when water touched my hand. Inflamed, sore and burning, I cursed my body, my apartment, my life. Quickly realizing this might be a side effect of the tane. A quick google search proved that correct.
It's unsightly but not the end of the world. This might fall into the TMI for some of you, although I feel I have to document this for anyone who might find this blog while researching Accutane side effects etc. The rash is very mild, although it appearance is more like crusty, flaking small circular scabs. (goodbye love life) If it only ever shows up on my hand(s) I'll take it. I do not think I could manage if it showed up on my arms, legs, etc, with the summer months coming. Aka skirt/t-shirt/tan top season.
I thought I was winning the war against dryness on my body. My body says otherwise. I have a small arsenal kit of moisturising items with me at all times. In a little makeup kit. Thank gawd for travel size!!!!
This is my Accutane survival travel kit.
Vaseline Travel Size. - NEVER under estimate the power of this as a moisturizer for your whole body. Lips and inner nose especially. Lather it on!
Q-Tips To any sort of nasal ointment.
Ceralip by La Roche-Posay - for lips.
Awesome stuff. Vaseline works just as effectively if you're concerned about price. They also carry a whole line for people on medication/accutane etc.
Cetaphil - Eczema wash/moisturizer. Cheap and effective. helps calm the readiness a little.
Baby Oil Travel Size - Yes Baby oil.
When it's used correctly (applied to slightly damn skin) it works wonders and is NOT greasy. I can almost hear parts of my body say "aaaahhhh" when I apply it. I have a full size at home and the travel size at work.
Avene TriXera+Selectiose Emollient Cream. - Favorite body/face moisturizer
By far the best $35 you'll spend on moisturizer. And you only need 1/2 a pump to do you're whole face-twice. One full pump to do each leg etc.. It's worth the money. They also carry a whole line for people on medication/accutane etc.
Coppertone Waterbabies SPF 70 or higher. - Enough said. It is a must.
Of course those on Accutane know not to use any sort of exfoliant. And to PAT all your skin dry, do not rub. Anyone who'd made this mistake knows exactly what I'm talking about. It hurts.
My scalp is tender when I wash it. The whole process of washing my hair has decreased too. I have dry hair to begin with, seems dryer now. I usually wash my hair every 3-4 days as it is. Now, I actually "wash" it once a week. That's 7 days, ladies and gents. 7 whole days. I wet it and condition it often, but only apply shampoo once a week right now. I'm afraid if I did it more often, my hair would start to fall out.
This morning I woke up with a certain amount of pain/burning on the top of my right hand. Of course I freaked out a little as I've had a history (2 times now) with bedbugs and nearly cried at the thought of laundering my whole apartment, the time, the money, the hassle, the emotional stress etc. Upon closer examining it, I realized these were not bites, but rash-like. I've never had a rash in my life, so I really do not know what one on my own body would look like. Going about my morning at 0545 washing my hands,face, teeth etc, and winced when water touched my hand. Inflamed, sore and burning, I cursed my body, my apartment, my life. Quickly realizing this might be a side effect of the tane. A quick google search proved that correct.
It's unsightly but not the end of the world. This might fall into the TMI for some of you, although I feel I have to document this for anyone who might find this blog while researching Accutane side effects etc. The rash is very mild, although it appearance is more like crusty, flaking small circular scabs. (goodbye love life) If it only ever shows up on my hand(s) I'll take it. I do not think I could manage if it showed up on my arms, legs, etc, with the summer months coming. Aka skirt/t-shirt/tan top season.
I thought I was winning the war against dryness on my body. My body says otherwise. I have a small arsenal kit of moisturising items with me at all times. In a little makeup kit. Thank gawd for travel size!!!!
This is my Accutane survival travel kit.
Vaseline Travel Size. - NEVER under estimate the power of this as a moisturizer for your whole body. Lips and inner nose especially. Lather it on!
Q-Tips To any sort of nasal ointment.
Ceralip by La Roche-Posay - for lips.
Awesome stuff. Vaseline works just as effectively if you're concerned about price. They also carry a whole line for people on medication/accutane etc.
Cetaphil - Eczema wash/moisturizer. Cheap and effective. helps calm the readiness a little.
Baby Oil Travel Size - Yes Baby oil.
When it's used correctly (applied to slightly damn skin) it works wonders and is NOT greasy. I can almost hear parts of my body say "aaaahhhh" when I apply it. I have a full size at home and the travel size at work.
Avene TriXera+Selectiose Emollient Cream. - Favorite body/face moisturizer
By far the best $35 you'll spend on moisturizer. And you only need 1/2 a pump to do you're whole face-twice. One full pump to do each leg etc.. It's worth the money. They also carry a whole line for people on medication/accutane etc.
Coppertone Waterbabies SPF 70 or higher. - Enough said. It is a must.
Of course those on Accutane know not to use any sort of exfoliant. And to PAT all your skin dry, do not rub. Anyone who'd made this mistake knows exactly what I'm talking about. It hurts.
My scalp is tender when I wash it. The whole process of washing my hair has decreased too. I have dry hair to begin with, seems dryer now. I usually wash my hair every 3-4 days as it is. Now, I actually "wash" it once a week. That's 7 days, ladies and gents. 7 whole days. I wet it and condition it often, but only apply shampoo once a week right now. I'm afraid if I did it more often, my hair would start to fall out.
Monday, 11 April 2011
Blog Break - Day 39 Accutane
As I'm adjusting to taking a double dose (80mg) of the meds, extreme fatigue has set in. I'm finding it harder to be active or just go out. I'm having bouts of nausea, complimented by aches and pains and pure exhaustion and the occasional mood swing, (sadness to very easily annoyed by the stupid) which is starting to occur with a little more frequency and word confusion. At times I find it difficult to think of a simple but accurate word to complete a coherent sentence at times. This IS a side effect and has to be noted. But I'm sure this shall all pass as I adjust to it.
In the mean time I'm finding it harder to blog, go out with friends etc. All I want to do is sleep. Eg: I got up at 1pm on Sunday and was napping on the couch by 1:30pm... next thing I knew it was almost 4pm. Total write off. I'm starting to understand why people grunt of sigh when they tell me of their experiences on Accutane. Everyone experiences different levels of nagging annoyances. Fatigue, dry skin, extreme chapped lips, do seem to be the regular complaint.
Small inconvenience for the greater good (repeat)... I must tell myself.
New entries may decrease for a bit. I'm realllllllllllly hoping that I'm able to adjust to feeling like pooh on and off for the next 6 months. However, if it becomes unbearable, I can advise the dermatologist I'd like to go back to the regular dosage. Etc.
I'll be blogging, just not daily.
:-)
In the mean time I'm finding it harder to blog, go out with friends etc. All I want to do is sleep. Eg: I got up at 1pm on Sunday and was napping on the couch by 1:30pm... next thing I knew it was almost 4pm. Total write off. I'm starting to understand why people grunt of sigh when they tell me of their experiences on Accutane. Everyone experiences different levels of nagging annoyances. Fatigue, dry skin, extreme chapped lips, do seem to be the regular complaint.
Small inconvenience for the greater good (repeat)... I must tell myself.
New entries may decrease for a bit. I'm realllllllllllly hoping that I'm able to adjust to feeling like pooh on and off for the next 6 months. However, if it becomes unbearable, I can advise the dermatologist I'd like to go back to the regular dosage. Etc.
I'll be blogging, just not daily.
:-)
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Day 32 Accutane
Since the last time we spoke, I have since been approved for two more months of taking this pill at a double dose!
We're on Day 32. And whilst it's only been two days on double dose, I'm already noticing some slight changes in the side effects. Okay maybe not so slight. My nose will not stop bleeding! It was a very slight bleed before, mostly when I had to blow my nose I would notice it. Now, its like the faucet was turned on a little more and it won't stop running. It's like having a cold without the snot. :( The aches and pains are a little more noticeable than before, and I'm not sleeping all that great neither. :( I'm sure it will all adjust and this too shall pass.
Dryness of the lips is different too. Before it was just a little dry, now my mouth is over producing saliva (I swear it is) and my mouth and lips feel cakey. Like I haven't been able to wipe something off my mouth. FUN! Waaa waaa waaa. Its just new. I'll adjust and make changes in my hydration routine.
Side note: when lubricating your nose first thing in the morning, make sure it's Vaseline and not Polysporin. OUCH! It does no harm, but you feel the difference. Make sure you're AWAKE!
Ok my favorite stalkers, I'm going home, taking a bubble bath, (although getting undressed, running water, getting into the tub, getting out and dressed again, takes way more energy than I am capable of right now) make a light dinner and go to bed. Before 9pm preferably. Shut up, don't judge me.
Til then... XXX
We're on Day 32. And whilst it's only been two days on double dose, I'm already noticing some slight changes in the side effects. Okay maybe not so slight. My nose will not stop bleeding! It was a very slight bleed before, mostly when I had to blow my nose I would notice it. Now, its like the faucet was turned on a little more and it won't stop running. It's like having a cold without the snot. :( The aches and pains are a little more noticeable than before, and I'm not sleeping all that great neither. :( I'm sure it will all adjust and this too shall pass.
Dryness of the lips is different too. Before it was just a little dry, now my mouth is over producing saliva (I swear it is) and my mouth and lips feel cakey. Like I haven't been able to wipe something off my mouth. FUN! Waaa waaa waaa. Its just new. I'll adjust and make changes in my hydration routine.
Side note: when lubricating your nose first thing in the morning, make sure it's Vaseline and not Polysporin. OUCH! It does no harm, but you feel the difference. Make sure you're AWAKE!
Ok my favorite stalkers, I'm going home, taking a bubble bath, (although getting undressed, running water, getting into the tub, getting out and dressed again, takes way more energy than I am capable of right now) make a light dinner and go to bed. Before 9pm preferably. Shut up, don't judge me.
Til then... XXX
Monday, 14 March 2011
Day 10 - Not horribly uncomfortable.
It's Day 10 on Accutane.
I'm adjusting to my lips and nose being raw, and the increasing thirst.
So far so good. I have a small periods every few days where I feel completely wiped, which end up with me in bed before 9pm. (what am I 80 yrs old suddenly?)
I'm sure I'm jinxing it right now by saying anything.. if this is as bad as it gets... easy!
Surely, I just shot myself in the foot with that statement.
I've upped my water intake to 8 x 8oz cups of water a day while at work. Easy. (helps to drink hot/warm water...not cold) Day 10 - I'm up to 16 x 8oz's a day.
That is just shy of 4 liters a day, you're only recommended to drink up to 2 liters. That will help immensely with this drug being processed by my liver. When I do not drink the minimum of 8x8 I feel it.....everywhere. On average, I'd say I'm sucking back 2-2.5 litters a day.. some more, some less on other days. Not to mention the cup of coffee I have in the morning and glass of orange juice or pop (couple once/twice a week) in addition.
Must be careful not to overdose on the water intake though. Seriously, it is possible to ingest too much water. Water Intoxication. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication your kidneys can process about 15 liters of water/fluid.. so although it's hard to get, it is possible.
I'm adjusting to my lips and nose being raw, and the increasing thirst.
So far so good. I have a small periods every few days where I feel completely wiped, which end up with me in bed before 9pm. (what am I 80 yrs old suddenly?)
I'm sure I'm jinxing it right now by saying anything.. if this is as bad as it gets... easy!
Surely, I just shot myself in the foot with that statement.
I've upped my water intake to 8 x 8oz cups of water a day while at work. Easy. (helps to drink hot/warm water...not cold) Day 10 - I'm up to 16 x 8oz's a day.
That is just shy of 4 liters a day, you're only recommended to drink up to 2 liters. That will help immensely with this drug being processed by my liver. When I do not drink the minimum of 8x8 I feel it.....everywhere. On average, I'd say I'm sucking back 2-2.5 litters a day.. some more, some less on other days. Not to mention the cup of coffee I have in the morning and glass of orange juice or pop (couple once/twice a week) in addition.
Must be careful not to overdose on the water intake though. Seriously, it is possible to ingest too much water. Water Intoxication. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication your kidneys can process about 15 liters of water/fluid.. so although it's hard to get, it is possible.
Monday, 7 March 2011
Day 3 - Already dry.
I started the Accuntane Friday night. The Dr. mentioned once I started, I would get dry, fast.
I'm thinking in a few weeks time. Not almost immediately. My nose is the victim.
It's dry as it is with the winter months now add this. I bought some cheap nasal gel before hand as recommended, but will have to find another solution as it doesn't work worth shit on the Accutane dryness. It worked great just in general though. I used Polysporin and Vaseline last night.. instant bliss.
I'm already noticing my eyes, and mouth drying up a bit, which is increasing my thirst. Although it's nothing uncomfortable. I was proactive/preventative a week before I started this, hoping that it would help.
I'm going to be the sole person that increases revenue for the companies that produces moisturizers this year.
Thankfully there are wonderful products out there specifically for people taking Accutane.
Sure its more expensive (not by much maybe $10 -$15 more than usual) but for the level of comfort it will provide me compared to spending money on cheaper stuff more often... this is one of those cases, you get what you pay for.
My lip balm is $15 a tube, but you only need so little of it, and wow!!! I'm hooked. Once I'm done the cycle, I'm going to continue to buy this stuff!!! My lips are so soft.
Body moisturizer recommended is about $26-$36 a small bottle.. :( I'm going to wait til I'm scaly to dish out that kind of cash on body products when the cheaper version is by Chetaphil Eczema. (face wash, moisturizer and body moisturizer etc).. its runs $15-$24 a TUB! Much more doable.
Oh did I mention while on this, you're not allowed to wax!?? Hmph. Ya ya I'm not having sex, but that doesn't mean no one is going to see it, and besides, I like to be groomed at all times anyways.
So 3-4 days in (I take the pills with dinner) and so far, so good.
:)
How was your weekend?
I'm thinking in a few weeks time. Not almost immediately. My nose is the victim.
It's dry as it is with the winter months now add this. I bought some cheap nasal gel before hand as recommended, but will have to find another solution as it doesn't work worth shit on the Accutane dryness. It worked great just in general though. I used Polysporin and Vaseline last night.. instant bliss.
I'm already noticing my eyes, and mouth drying up a bit, which is increasing my thirst. Although it's nothing uncomfortable. I was proactive/preventative a week before I started this, hoping that it would help.
I'm going to be the sole person that increases revenue for the companies that produces moisturizers this year.
Thankfully there are wonderful products out there specifically for people taking Accutane.
Sure its more expensive (not by much maybe $10 -$15 more than usual) but for the level of comfort it will provide me compared to spending money on cheaper stuff more often... this is one of those cases, you get what you pay for.
My lip balm is $15 a tube, but you only need so little of it, and wow!!! I'm hooked. Once I'm done the cycle, I'm going to continue to buy this stuff!!! My lips are so soft.
Body moisturizer recommended is about $26-$36 a small bottle.. :( I'm going to wait til I'm scaly to dish out that kind of cash on body products when the cheaper version is by Chetaphil Eczema. (face wash, moisturizer and body moisturizer etc).. its runs $15-$24 a TUB! Much more doable.
Oh did I mention while on this, you're not allowed to wax!?? Hmph. Ya ya I'm not having sex, but that doesn't mean no one is going to see it, and besides, I like to be groomed at all times anyways.
So 3-4 days in (I take the pills with dinner) and so far, so good.
:)
How was your weekend?
Friday, 4 March 2011
Day 1 down 182 days to go.
Today is Day 1 of the next 183 days of sans sex & alcohol.
....that is all.
....that is all.
Friday, 11 February 2011
Accutane It's going to be a long year.
Accutane is serious shit. It's a high dose of Vitamin A. Very High.
It requires you to have your liver function tested EVERY MONTH for the duration of your cycle.
My dermatologist and I have been ho/humming about putting me on this for years.
Up until now, I've only heard of horror stories about this drug. For the last 4 years, we've been using topical creams, birth control (lasted 9 days) and a antibiotic.
All were great....at suppressing it, not curing it.
I give up. I surrender. Let's try Accutane.
Got the green light from the family doctor too.
Now it gets serious.
The following things must take place and be approved BEFORE I can even start taking it.
Pregnancy test- before and after
Order of blood work on my liver, once a month for 6 months.
(this will repeat every month)
Must start a second form of birth control for a month prior to starting the meds.
If I choose not to use a second method, I MUST MUST abstain from being
sexually active for the 6 months, plus one month afterwards while the meds leave my system.
No alcohol. Not one drop.
Nothing better than being told you CAN NOT do something that makes you want to do it even more.
I've gone that long without sex before, not by choice, but it's been done.
At first I thought not drinking would be the worse of it. If only it were that easy.
Count 6 months from the middle of March. Where does that put me? AT THE END OF SUMMER!
Spring/Summer with no sex or alcohol? Shit, I may as well just throw myself off a building now. hmph.
....Oh ya, then there are the side affects.
Ready?......
*Chapped lips (90%), countered by a using Vaseline or Aquaphor as a lip moisturizer,
*Dry skin and itching (80%) helped by frequent moisturizer creams,
*Dryness of nose, mild nosebleed (80%), helped by "AYR nasal gel",
*Irritation of the eyelids and eyes (40%),
*Joint and muscle pains (15%),
*Temporary hair thinning (10%), (are you fucking kidding me???)
*Rash (7%),
*Intestinal symptoms (5%),
*Urinary symptoms (5%),
*Headache (5%),
*High Increased sensitivity to sun (5%),
*Decreased night vision (<1%),
*Depression, thoughts of suicide (<1%).
Remind me again WHY I am going to take this drug? Oh ya... it has an 80% CURE ALL rate from acne....forever! Great thing is, all the side effects are reversible.
I apologize now for all the whining that may will occur in the next coming months.
I figure I should be proactive about other things while doing this.
Will start exercising. Yup I will. Just do it. I'm probably going to be miserable.
I may as well be proactive while miserable. And when it's all over, I'll have perfect skin and have lost some weight. Woop!
Seriously, I'm just psyching myself up for this. If it was extremely dangerous, they wouldn't offer it, right?
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
Update - Adult Acne
It's been only two weeks since I started on the topical cream and penicillin for my acne.
WOW! The topical cream is amazing!!!
My face looks amazing! Getting compliments how I look like I've just worked out, and/or glowing a little.... well that would be the cream burning off the first few layers of my skin lol
Although I have to stay the hell out of the sun. Even when I wear sunscreen, shades and a hat, if I'm not careful I start to rash up a little... when these meds said "stay out of the sun" they were damn serious!!!
I start taking the bcp's very soon, and can not wait to see the long term results.
It wasn't til right now that I've realized just how self conscious I was about it. Now I'm smiling more than usual, not wearing ANY makeup and still look good (I still wear eye makeup) and I'm loving it!!!!
That's all for now readers, Happy Tuesday.
WOW! The topical cream is amazing!!!
My face looks amazing! Getting compliments how I look like I've just worked out, and/or glowing a little.... well that would be the cream burning off the first few layers of my skin lol
Although I have to stay the hell out of the sun. Even when I wear sunscreen, shades and a hat, if I'm not careful I start to rash up a little... when these meds said "stay out of the sun" they were damn serious!!!
I start taking the bcp's very soon, and can not wait to see the long term results.
It wasn't til right now that I've realized just how self conscious I was about it. Now I'm smiling more than usual, not wearing ANY makeup and still look good (I still wear eye makeup) and I'm loving it!!!!
That's all for now readers, Happy Tuesday.
Monday, 9 August 2010
Adult Acne = Awesome Sauce!....not.
Since I turned 30 my face started acting up a little.
At 35 I thought I might have to go live in a cave. Nothing massive just consistently pimples popping up here and there. Now at 38, whatever was going on with my face, moved to my boobs and my back!!! SEXY! (shoots herself)
Now not only do I have to content with being overweight and working on it, I have the added stress that if anyone were to see me naked right now, they wouldn't touch me.
Off to the dermatologist!!!! She is my age, hip, trendy and gets it. Really gets it.
We've tried a type of penicillin in the past but it's not enough anymore.
It's only suppressing it, not clearing it up.
She suggests I go on Acutane for 6 months. Really? This shit is serious stuff.
It requires blood work every few weeks to make sure your liver is doing it's job of moving it out of your system. Great.
I begged for a less severe option. We discuss my health history, current and past sexual history, and family .We decide that we'll go with birth control pills, a topical cream to be used at night and 3 months worth on penicillin. Awesome.
If there is not a significant improvement, I'll be moving over to taking Acutane for 6 months.
Which means NO ALCOHOL at all for 6 months, blood work every 3 weeks and more SPF 60 sunscreen on every inch of my body, everyday. Not just my face (which I do now - fair fair skin)
Some of you are probably saying, just do it, you'll be glad you did.
What you don't know is I have a rule about how many pills I take, (never more than 3, ever) and I'm lazy.
Lazy. Lazy. Not sure I'm making this clear. LAZY!
Now I'm not thrilled about being on birth control.
It was a decision I made 13 years ago not to take it anymore, as it no longer made sense to me to take a synthetic hormone to control the hormones that have worked on their own for millions prior to this wonderful invention. Plus if I hadn't gone off it, we would never had properly diagnosed having hypothyroidism.
This is where the 3 pill rule applies.
1- Thyroid, once a day for life
2- Motrin as needed
3- reserved for any meds I may be on for infection or whatever etc.
After growing up watching my siblings and mum take meds for their aliment, then something for the side effects of the meds taken for the aliment, etc they ended up on a cocktail of meds that were never necessary. I made the decision as a teenager to never do that to my body.
Now I'm at 3 + 1 cream
1- thyroid
2- birth control
3- penicillin.
4- topical cream
Ya it wont be forever. Just 3 months. I'll suck it up and stop complaining. But if I end up on Acutane, you're all going to hear about it daily! For the side effects are heavy. More on that if we go there.
When it comes down to it, I'll have to make the decision which is more important.
Maintaining soft, smooth, sexy blemish free skin, or tough it out and deal with any scaring that may occur as a result of scabs/bra bands etc. ugh. FML.
Why couldn't my body have dealt with this like every other 13-19 year old on the planet at the time when I was 13-19!!!!!
At 35 I thought I might have to go live in a cave. Nothing massive just consistently pimples popping up here and there. Now at 38, whatever was going on with my face, moved to my boobs and my back!!! SEXY! (shoots herself)
Now not only do I have to content with being overweight and working on it, I have the added stress that if anyone were to see me naked right now, they wouldn't touch me.
Off to the dermatologist!!!! She is my age, hip, trendy and gets it. Really gets it.
We've tried a type of penicillin in the past but it's not enough anymore.
It's only suppressing it, not clearing it up.
She suggests I go on Acutane for 6 months. Really? This shit is serious stuff.
It requires blood work every few weeks to make sure your liver is doing it's job of moving it out of your system. Great.
I begged for a less severe option. We discuss my health history, current and past sexual history, and family .We decide that we'll go with birth control pills, a topical cream to be used at night and 3 months worth on penicillin. Awesome.
If there is not a significant improvement, I'll be moving over to taking Acutane for 6 months.
Which means NO ALCOHOL at all for 6 months, blood work every 3 weeks and more SPF 60 sunscreen on every inch of my body, everyday. Not just my face (which I do now - fair fair skin)
Some of you are probably saying, just do it, you'll be glad you did.
What you don't know is I have a rule about how many pills I take, (never more than 3, ever) and I'm lazy.
Lazy. Lazy. Not sure I'm making this clear. LAZY!
Now I'm not thrilled about being on birth control.
It was a decision I made 13 years ago not to take it anymore, as it no longer made sense to me to take a synthetic hormone to control the hormones that have worked on their own for millions prior to this wonderful invention. Plus if I hadn't gone off it, we would never had properly diagnosed having hypothyroidism.
This is where the 3 pill rule applies.
1- Thyroid, once a day for life
2- Motrin as needed
3- reserved for any meds I may be on for infection or whatever etc.
After growing up watching my siblings and mum take meds for their aliment, then something for the side effects of the meds taken for the aliment, etc they ended up on a cocktail of meds that were never necessary. I made the decision as a teenager to never do that to my body.
Now I'm at 3 + 1 cream
1- thyroid
2- birth control
3- penicillin.
4- topical cream
Ya it wont be forever. Just 3 months. I'll suck it up and stop complaining. But if I end up on Acutane, you're all going to hear about it daily! For the side effects are heavy. More on that if we go there.
When it comes down to it, I'll have to make the decision which is more important.
Maintaining soft, smooth, sexy blemish free skin, or tough it out and deal with any scaring that may occur as a result of scabs/bra bands etc. ugh. FML.
Why couldn't my body have dealt with this like every other 13-19 year old on the planet at the time when I was 13-19!!!!!
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