Another Year Older & Singlehood.

Tomorrow I turn 38. 

I've never been really one to celebrate my birthday since I reached my mid 20's as I am always disappointed with the outcome. Sure there have been SOME memorable birthdays in there, but for the most part I rather people not mention it as a big deal unless they are going to MAKE a big deal out of it.

I stopped celebrating my birthdays 10 years ago after my folks passed away as it just did not seem important anymore.  I have friends, many of them. More than some will ever in a life time. They are there when it matters and all the other times we're all busy doing our own thing. (Raising families, travelling for work, starting own business's etc)

I wonder as time goes on, does it become acceptable to not call or email your friends and wish them a happy birthday then sulk when the favour is returned? That wasn't directed at my friends as so much as at my family.
Seriously every year goes by and not one sibling, niece, nephew etc calls to wish me a happy birthday. 

Last year I decided not to call one single sibling on their birthday, and you know how that was handled??? 
A few of them calling me to give me shit for not calling in the first place.  My reply: "Just returning the courtesy I've been shown".  Only then to be told how THEY"RE SO BUSY etc... but I wouldn't understand as I don't own my home to maintenance, have a husband nor a boyfriend to mention of, that I couldn't possibly understand the time constraint they are on, so forgetting to call should be forgiven and understood.  *coughcoughbullshitcough*

My reply: "Feeling the love", *click*

I can't even begin to tell you how disheartening it is to be dismissed by siblings. You'd think I'd be use to it by now as I've made the decision not to communicate with them anymore after a few things happened on major holidays and birthdays etc.

Could someone please explain to me how 5 siblings are all on the same page about how its acceptable to treat the youngest sibling this way but then expect fireworks and cheerleading squads for their special days? Is there a monthly group meeting like AA that I'm not aware of?

To my friends that forget, more forgiving as they always call within a day to say they were thinking of me etc.. I let them slide cos I'm in constant contact with them and know it wasn't a malicious act.
To my family, I say screw you.
My birthday comes at the same time every year, as does yours and in the last 38 years (til last year) I never missed calling any of you.

It's one day where you're allowed to be the centre of attention (somewhat) and be wished a good day.

My work friends have made a big deal out of my birthday which feels nice, but they're work friends.
Not outside of work friends, nor family.  But its nice nonetheless and at this point I'll take what I can get.

Now onto being single and almost 40.
I have less of an issue with this than I do with my siblings forgetting my birthday, yearly.

I've been chatting with a few married, divorced, widowed friends over the past few weeks etc when I started to panic about being single at this age.  I've grown up (mostly due to society) imposing the idea that you are used good s after 30, and gawd forbid if you were almost 40 and NEVER married! Well then there must be something fundamentally wrong with you! 
Which I always though was weird cos life happens in many ways to cause single hood at 40, but to be single at almost 40 BY CHOICE?? *GASP* You Freak!

A friend made the observation more obvious.
You could be single for so many reasons. Married too early, widowed, moved for a job etc...

I stated that it seems those people seems to get less grief for being single at this age cos they've been thru something. They've been married.
My friend got the point I was trying to make and cut me off mid rant....
WHO CARES!? They're single now! Regardless how they got there, how is that different?

I guess my point is although I'm not thrilled about single and never married, I am not a freak of nature cos society has said so.

In the end, I don't see light at the end of the tunnel and when/if I do, it will be my luck to find out its some asshole at the end with a flashlight.

I know this was all bitter and not fun. It will pass. As every year I get older and realize the majority of people jerks.