Do We Train People How To Treat Us??

DO we?

There is a saying; "we train people how to treat us". I'm not sure we do. Maybe we do?  Maybe some people are just devious regardless how good we are too them?

I have a friend, less a year new to my life. And in the last 5 months I've noticed an increased shadiness taking place.  I've mentioned the inconsistencies in her stories lately. She plays dumb. Which in itself, drives me insane, cos she has a memory like an elephant, and can remember the most minuet detail about someone she only met once years before, but can not recall the details of where, what, why, who when asked about a mutual friend of ours? Bullshit. I've tested the waters a few times, even mentioned I had been spending the night at Boy A's house more frequently. Only to notice for a split second reaction before trying to play coy and uninterested.

I've given her many many chances to come clean, even asking her point blank if she was interested in our mutual friend (that I had previously dated, and am in constant contact with still). Or why she gets uncomfortably quiet if I mention him. She claims she is not interested. However, since our mutual friend moved to another city, her FB, and mobile phone indicates she's in his town, a lot. I mean AAAAA LOOOOT.

Not my first time around the block. Knowing she's putting herself in his neighbour in hopes of running into him. I mean they work for the same company, but she drives 40 mins out of her way to workout at the gym at his location, rather than the one 10 mins from her own house and where is she is assigned too.... It's laughable really.

I'd tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. More recently I caught her in a blantlen lie.
Saw her online, and just asked her what she was up too, asking if she wanted to hang out later etc.. She said she was working, and then was going home to sleep.  I laughed, cos I know the route she works, and her mobile location said different.

Her: I'm working, then going home to sleep.
Me:  oh ya? What shift did you have to work today?
Her: 6am til 6pm.
Me: What route you have today?
Her: New West
Me: Not Ladner?
Her: Huh?
Me: I really enjoyed the pictures you posted of you and your kid at the Ladner Dyke today, oh 30 minutes ago, and a few blocks away from Boy A, whose place I happen to be at right now. Must be a super flexible shift to be in two places at once.
Her: - has conveniently gone offline.

I posted my status update to read: "If you're going to lie to me, please learn how FB and the GPS on you mobile works first...just sayin".

This isn't the first time, she's said she's been in one place, then posted pictures of her (time dated and located added) on FB in a completely different area (usually close to his neighbourhood... as to before he moved there, she was NEVER in that area of town, ever.

What is the point? I've just got off the phone with Boy A,(I wasn't at his house) who has no reason to lie to me, cos we're not dating exclusively anymore, but are still very close, and hangout often.  He says he hasn't been hanging out with her, but had noticed the things I mentioned on Fb too. He's a pretty simple guy, and although he did have a romantic interest in her long before I met either of them, he doesn't like that kind of behaviour.

It's just a little to shady for me. If you want to peruse him, go for it.You'll lose a friend for breaking the girlfriend code. But DON'T lie to me about it, cos I will find out.

I'm leaving her as a fb friend for the time being to see how quickly she tries to cover her tracks, then I'll be deleting her. I'm too old for this.

It comes down to the saying though. Do we train people how to treat us? Cos if that is true, what am I doing that gives people the impression that I'm too stupid to notice or will put up with it after you've been confronted?

I don't like inconsistent people, more so especially when I catch them lying to me.

Again? I give up, again.

It's a phase many of us go through. Online dating.
We sign up with the weariness that it will be better than the last time.

I've noticed that some of the guys are the site I'm using, have had their longest relationships, with the dating site itself! And I'm supposed to be hopeful.

Sigh.

I deleted my account this morning. I've done it plenty of times before.
It's exciting, and exhausting. Interviewing men, and hoping you won't be single forever.

I'm unhappy with my body. Where I am in life. Once the weight is all gone, suddenly men will be interested. What gets my goat, is I'm still the same person, but suddenly they find me charming.

I get it better than anyone, that looks shouldn't matter, but they do. I am over weight, and yet I won't date overweight men. I get it. Hence the changes.

I'm afraid that once I'm fit again, I'll have become bitter with those who didn't see me worthy before, do now. Sigh. I'm in a funk. It's hard to get out of this spot when you're feeling down, and impatient with the process.

The process of changes is coming along, but I.WANT.IT.NOW!!!

Me Time

Weight loss sucks uber donkey ass!
I've cut out sugar, salt, pop, etc... there is nothing processed in my house, and I gained 6 lbs?!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I haven't started swimming yet, as I'm nauseated from a dozen bites (spiders?) over my body.. I don't do well when bitten that many times. bah.

I have been productive in other ways. I've painted the kitchen in 3 hours. Cleaned out my storage unit. Got my finances in order, and did my expenses for the next 6 months. I'm on track.

I got a good look in the mirror the other day, I noticed I'm that really unattractive overweight. I wasn't before.. Now, I have no neck! Or at least it seems that way. The roommate who would normally jump on a chance to insult me, has disagreed, saying I am being hard on my image, however I DO need to lose weight.  He's helping in a positive and supportive way... without losing his cool. yes, same roommate!

I'm not dating. I'm not trying to date. As much as I do love myself, I'm not loving the way I look. That matters. It does. I do not care who says its not the cover of the book etc.. I'm sorry, but I do not want to see myself naked, I don't imagine others will either.

Nothing else much is going on. Work. Gym. Friends. Me. Me. ME!

Weird

I needed an upgraded browser? Weird, as I can use explorer to leave comments, but couldn't write... hmmmm

Blogger isn't working. I can't write new entries... the curser just won't do anything on the blank page to write something!!!!! UGH!

Weight Loss Progress? Men?

And so it begins.....

After a month of a shit load of birthday lunches, and dinners, for myself, and others.. I'm so stuffed, and broke! lol

Now, I'm ready to re-enter my routine. And good thing too, I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore!!! Still dreading the "before" picture.

Here is my schedule so far. Please keep in mind it's fairly light, due to the accident I was in late March. Can't over work my neck. :(

Yoga: 2x a week
Pilates: 2x a week
Cardio: 4-6 days a week for a MINIMUM of 30 mins or more.
Strength Training: Minimum 2x a week. 2 set of 10-15 reps, at 5-8lbs etc.
* adding reps and weight once I get the okay from the doctors, trainer and Insurance company.
Swimming: 2-6 days a week. Lengths. Front/Back stroke. Butterfly, side kicks, and kick board lengths.

It's a start.

Men

They are interesting creatures aren't they?
Wasn't til recently, that I learned from the last relationship about what I want, and how to go about getting it. All good.

Calling bullshit is still key when using dating sites.

I really wish men wouldn't lie about their intentions. My feelings and time are not for you to waste for sport.  I've set time lines for myself, in how soon I should get their number (I'm not longer giving out mine). And when we'll meet etc..If I'm met with excuses other than "I'm not ready"... I'll let him go.  In short, I'm taking charge of what I'm looking for.

Wasn't as easy as you'd think in the past.  Loneliness can skew your standards of what is acceptable.