Thank You My Friends- Going to Rock the ass off 2009!!! Who's In?

Goodbye Old Blog, Hello new One.
(posting from old blog)

Hi all!
Just wanted to stop in and post a quick hello..
I haven’t written here in a while, cos well, this is my angry, shoot from the hip reaction blog.... I've started a new one that is more comical and about where I am now.

I'm happy people. HAPPY! Yes I said it.

After blogging my angst on here for how many years.... I’ve found a spot in my life surrounded by a good job, with people I like (ok well they don’t annoy the living crap out of me) its a start lol, better friends, re-invented myself and started to be the change I wanted to see.

I like me. FINALLY!

I really had to hit an all time bottom low and get a taste of myself from another person, just too see how much I don’t like that type of person, and what was I going to do about it?

I had to make same hard decisions. Its was now about me. Not whether or not I was going to hurt someone and be afraid if they were going to be mad or hate me.... didn’t care anymore.

I slowly examined the friendships of others and asked how do I get that!?.... Loyalty, love, real friends, not those who are only around to gain something then gone once they have it. (Even though those people come and go from our lives, there is always a lesson to be learned from them) And now..... I have the beginning of those things. I treat my friends with a different level of respect (always had respect for them) but it’s different... I’ve stopped that "a woe is me, I'm wounded" stage of my life and started being the age I am.

Dating has changed too. Really changed. Again. I had to ask why I keep hooking up and attracting only losers. Well it was simple. I had no standards for myself. As much as I’d like to think I did, I never stood up for what I believed in, wanted from a man. I just let them in my life cos it beat the crap out of being lonely, and alone. It was an empty feeling.

Granted I realize I am human and will have moments of weakness, but I can not express enough to you how much I like where I am. Who I am. Who I want to be. Those I want to be with me.

A friend recently wrote a posting on her facebook about her 2008, and it was truly inspiring. With that posting I again realized, I'm allowed to be weak, make mistakes, gain, lose, learn, live, love, and laugh, even if it’s only at myself.

For all of you who have stood by me, when I drank too much, cried too much, laughed at inappropriate things, ranted on and on and on about nothing...

I thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.
Without all of you this work in progress would have taken a whole lot longer.

Much Love Xxx