Accutane 1 - Just Saying - 0

We're officially over the hump of the half way mark in this 6 months.

Recap:
Month 1 - 40 mg
Minor constant nose bleeds, lethargic, dryness, slight tremors, aches and pains.
Bad ccholesterol in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.

Month 2 - 80 mg
Heavier nose bleeds, Minimized by cauterizing, itchy due to dryness,  no tremors, aches and pains are manageable.
Bad ccholesterol higher but still in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.

Month 3 - 40 mg
Tremors constant, lethargic all the time, emotional, aches and pains blah, nose bleeds minor but constant, minor acne break outs all over my body, small staph infections appearing (shoulder, back of hand, inner thigh)
Bad cholesterol too high, liver function decreased, (hence the decrease in mg's)pregnancy negative.

I have my next appointment this Friday and I'm all about ready to call it quits.
The side effects are all so minor but really taking it's toll on me this month.
Month 2 was by far the easiest month of the 3 so far. Funny cos it was that month that I was the least healthy on this.

Since we decreased the milligrams, I'm having minor acne. It was enough to make me cry over the weekend. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm not so sure anymore that having acne free skin forever is worth this crap. I know that's not true. Part of me though hopes I'm taken off the accutane this weekend, the other half of me does not... I really want clear skin forever.

I've gotten use to not wearing makeup. Love it. One thing I'll take away from all this, is I know now that I can indeed keep my hands of my face.

I let Douchebag come over on Sunday. He called to say Hey, and he was in the area. I lost it on the phone with him. Just sobbed. He came over and just let me let go for about an hour, then left. It was what I needed. Exhausted and feeling deflated, I napped hard after the meltdown. It's moments like that, that remind me he has a decent bone, but it doesn't minimize all the other shit.

Not sure the meltdown was all about the accutane though. I think it was a combo of Laurie's situation, Mothers Day and Mum's anniversary passing and her birthday coming up. In short, I guess it was a woes is me moment/stress cry.

Functioning today, not great, but better.  Just tired of feeling run down, like I'm going to get the flu or something, all.the.damn.time.