Recap 2020 - 2025 & New Chapters to Follow 2025

It's been a minute! 

Hunker down, it is a long read.  Guess we should recap what I have been up to 2020 - current.

Short version: 
I have learned healthy boundaries, and how to set them, and follow through. Learned how to sit with my feelings (ongoing practice) and to be gentle with myself. How to show up for myself. I am unapologetically myself.  I love my friends hard, and yes, I make it weird every chance I get. 

Long version below: 

2020 

During covid I was working for, what I thought, was a great company. That is, until I broke my back July 2020. My return to work was less than pleasant. Mostly due to the HR knob (1 of 5) that actually insinuated that I deliberately hurt myself to inconvenience them! Could not roll my eyes any harder. During covid I was working from home March - June 2020 and fasted track the company goal of eliminating my own position. (yes, I knew this when they hired me). When it came time to renewing my contract, they decided not too, and determined I was not qualified for the new position. In the same breath, they asked me to create a training manual for my existing position. Soooooo, you want me to draft a manual for a position that no longer exists, and I am not qualified for the new position??? Pound sand. What are they going to do? Fire me? HA! I did write a manual and ensured there were errors throughout that would render the task(s) incapable of being completed. That's 72 pages of useless instructions. Petty.  😋

During this time, I closed my vehicle accident claim and bought myself a lovely truck. 

Started recording video chats with a friend that lives just off the mainland. Who knew 5 years later this was a saving grace for us both.  It started with a quick 2-3 minute recorded videos we'd sent each other. Then the topics became deeper. Now, the videos are 3-6 minutes long and several sent at a time, depending on the topic. Why not have a phone call? This works for us. We can record/send when we have the time, and watch the incoming videos on our own time. It works, and I think more people should try it. 

August - the long term roommate moved out. Got his long time girlfriend (he had been cheating on for many years), pregnant, bought a house and got married. It was the best thing for him. 

October - surprised my best friend with a trip to Tofino as a thank you for flying out and taking care of me for a week when I broke my back. 

December 2020 I started a new job, 3 days after my previous job was eliminated. It's exactly what I was looking for. Not customer front facing!!! 

2021  
I decided I wanted a breast reduction. Where I live the government will pay for it, however, the downside is they have a say in your BMI. Maximum 30 BMI. As most of you know, bmi is horseshit in most cases. Sooooo, I have some weight to lose. It's not a bad thing, who couldn't stand to shed a few pounds. 

At one point my practitioners and I decided that I should try to come off my anxiety medication.  Dumb move. We've tried twice, and have come to the conclusion that this is a life time medicine for me. I am A-OKAY with that. So many positive things have occured since I started the anxiety medication back in July 2017, you can read about  here, and 2017 here.

Went back to school and got a Level -1 certificate in Bylaw enforcement and animal control. Think getting a job with the city would be easier. It is not. The full-time, permanent positions rarely become available. I can not do auxiliary, or casual, part-time etc. When they do become available, they are usually given to retiring police and military personnel. 

2022
Until recently (2 years 2020-2022) everything was blissful at the new job until they hired a Screaming Banshee. Not only is she ill-equipped, unpredictably unprofessional to handle a job, she is a menace to the office, and a serious liability to the company. She shoots her mouth off, a lot. Without using a single neuron; and the one she does use, is seriously fractured. 

My oldest sister (68) passed away on her birthday, in her sleep. Middle sister (66) had a heat induced heart attack a week later, on HER birthday. 

A week after that, enter Screaming Banshee, (she has think nak of blaming of everyone else for her error, and then says; "I didn't know that was the process".), came out of her office, stormed up to me, arms flailing, and swearing at me. I froze. I truly believe that every-single-tool-ever-learned was utilized in that moment not to backhand her into the following week. 

I sat with it for a few weeks before going to management. It was taken very serious. It is an surreal experience to work for a company that is healthy, when you've had decades of toxic work environments. They brought in a Senior manager and someone else in, off their holidays to deal with it.  It was not taken lightly.  All this a week after my sister passed and another in the hospital for 2 weeks suffering a heart attack. 

I decided I could be the bigger person and continue to work with her, (she is assigned to me, along with 3 others) and I found it to be an excellent opportunity to utilize my conflict resolution skills I haven't had much chance to use.  That brings us into 2023.

2023

Things have been reasonably calm. My tribe of friends have been amazing. Lots of memories have been made. My moms best friend S. moved back into the city after 31 years of living in the North.  It has been absolutely a treat to have her living 10-minutes away.  

My tribe accepted her with open arms and a few have their own relationship with her, outside of me, which is fantastic. I've been a lot of things, being jealous is really not one of them.  I am truly blessed.  

2024

A few dozen recorded incidents with the Screaming Banshee. How is she still employed? Recording every outburst, rude email directly to myself, a vendor and others. Many meetings regarding this twit. 

Made numerous fun memories, short trips, annual girls weekends etc. 

March 2024 my middle sister moved in with me. She is unable to live alone, nor can she afford it.  I just spent a few years downsizing, and minimizing the crap in my apartment.  Sigh. Turns out she is a high functioning alcoholic, and a hoarder (just in her room).  

Not soon after she has settled in, she has an episode and I had to call emergency services.  I set some serious boundaries after this, advising if this kind of thing happened again, she would have to move out. I did not sign up for this.  Things have been okay since. Her room is disgusting. I have had to come to the conclusion that she is not a mentally stable person, capable of seeing dirt, messes, etc.  As long as she keeps the mess to her room, I can manage the rest of the house. 

I advised her before she moved in, that when the times comes where she can no longer work, or take care of herself, we will start applying for subsidized retirement homes. I will not be her caretaker, physically or financially. Callus? No. She turns 68 this year and wants to retire in the next two.  This time next year, we start shopping around for her new living arrangements. 

2025
Screaming Banshee has done it. We are only in May, and she had finally been so unprofessional towards internal office staff, vendors etc., that I requested for a shuffle and could not see myself working with her further without verbal/physical consequences. I presented a few anger management course for myself. The tools/skills I have to manage this kind of behaviour no longer works, and am open to some professional development. I complete the an anger management course next weekend. Did I learn anything new? No. I was reminded of existing skills/tools I have in my box that I have not been utilizing. I have open that mental toolbox and am poking around at the tools. 

However, the S.Banshee needs to be held accountable. I will not walk on eggshells to appease her fragile ego and unprofessionalism. She has created an unsafe, toxic environment. Not just for myself, but the teams around me. Everyone has been interviewed, lawyers have been consulted, and she finally has been presented with a disciplinary package, outlining the consequences should management continue to receive complaints from anyone. Apparently it takes a lot to get fired. Any retaliation behaviour, on any front, will no longer be tolerated. A lot of things the Screaming Banshee does will no longer be tolerated.  😀

May 2025 - I've has some internal womens health concerns being 4 years post menopause.  Love my doctor. Does not dismiss anything I bring to the table. Turns out I was correct, there was something going on.  Blood work followed, only to learn I am prediabetic, and have very high cholesterol. a heart healthy diet change, way of life has been activated. Exercise and eating cleaner have become the priority, effective immediately. 

Thankfully, I have a great group of friends I have shared this with and are supporting the change. Cos, really, what kind of friends would they be if the didn't??

January 2026 - I am starting a type of therapy called EDMR. It is a structured form of psychotherapy used to help process and reduce the distress associated with traumatic memories and other distressing experiences. During talk therapy, I mentioned some anger and frustration I was experiencing with some things preventing me from having healthy relationships with men, (trust issues - nothing sexual) and the human race in general. 

We came to the conclusion this was the right direction. I will be writing more about this experience leading up to, and during the process.

I have to make a list of things I'd like to resolve, and/or learn to deal with. Examples like: trusting a man's word at face value; (watching many men in life cheat on their spouses etc.);  the severe bullying I experienced from ages 9 -12, and how it still affects me now, (being aggressive and loud in certain situations); not being heard as child, and acting out, getting into trouble to be seen and heard.  I am a Gen X. We were brought up in a generation of kids are meant to be seen, not heard.  Yes, we were feral, and still are a bit.  I have no desire to make functioning relationships with my siblings. They're adults, if they wanted a relationship they could have reciprocated the effort I put in for many years as an adult. That ship has sailed, and I am okay with that outcome. 

If you're still with me, awesome! Future posts will not be as long.