Well, I might not have a volunteer job to go back to in November after recent events.
An email was sent out by the museum manager at 1am advising that a local resident walking their dog past the I.House Museum, saw a person emptying a small jerrycan of liquid onto the porch of the house. Police were called, they found evidence (intimate details are left out of this blog as this is an ongoing investigation) belonging to the suspect. No one has been apprehended at this time. This was the second incident to happen this night. As the steamship museum also had a problem reported.
Upon my return, I was to be placed at the steamship. This makes me slightly nervous as I'd only be with one other person. The house, well there are tones of people around, but I have no interest working in the house. The museum is different and I'll test it out under the new curator.
Can't help but think the events at both locations, on the same night, are related and preformed by the same person. My instincts jump to a disgruntled employee. Or someone with a grudge against all things related to the museum(s).
Needless to say, this might just be the extra something I needed not to return in November.
Crazy C Update.
She must not know how FB notifications work. I get an email every time someone requests my FB friendship. 3 times in the last 2 weeks,that she has requested it. Shocked, I looked up her name, finding the request is no longer there, and she had blocked me, as I can't even retrieve her name. Repeat 2 more times. I've kept those email notifications. Just.in.case.
If it keeps up, I may have to contact her with a harassment warning. I do not need this to slowly turn into a single white female scenario. So nipping it in the butt with a serious legal warning might be the only way to go. This would not be the first no contact or harassment order she's received. Ya, she showed all her cards early on, and I ignored them. Silly me.
Showing posts with label Crazy C. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crazy C. Show all posts
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
CRAZY C NO MORE.....EVER!
Just received the most wonderful email this morning.
CRAZY C QUIT THE MUSEUM!
I'll try and refrain from expressing my excitement.....
oh forget it, I'm doing a happy dance right now!
Her last day is the 30th of June. :) :)
They're taking her for dinner etc and asked if I'd like to come and if I knew of gift idea's for her (as we were friends once) "OF COURSE, COUNT ME IN!" Trying to not to appear to excited. I will attend, not so much to make her uncomfortable, but to ensure she is really leaving. I gave them some great gift idea's for her. What? I'm not a complete utter bitch.
I knew she wouldn't last long after RJM left, as she'd no longer have him to obsessed about, and that the archivist who is in love with her (and a whole other set of issues with her where the city HR/mediator has to get involved)
will be more attuned to chatting her up, and of course that won't go over well.
I knew she's one day leave, I just never thought it would be within a month of him leaving.
Funny how she couldn't find employment anywhere, and suddenly she has....
I'm assuming.
Maybe she's just leaving, moving back east to be someone elses problem for a bit.
I suspected that there would be a high turn over of volunteers and what full time staff they have when RJM left. He is/was the sole reason for so many sticking around. He made you excited to be part of this on going project of making our town history obtainable to the public.
What does this mean for me?
I can return to the museum with fresh staff and no baggage.
woot woot!
It's a good day indeed.
Happy Summer Solstice!
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Museum Crazy C
I picked up a shift at the museum this coming Sunday for a few hours. No biggie. It will be nice to see everyone, and my shift is in the house as part of the hertiage house tours. :) Fun.
I've been talking to the curator a little this past week, and good thing too, cos as it turns out, his Good Bye Potluck has been rescheduled from this Friday to next Wednesday. I wasn't aware, no emails were sent to me. :(
There is good reason for that we discovered.
Enter Crazy C.
She is now in charge of organizing the potluck. As it turns out she has deliberately
left a certain few volunteers off the emails. 6 to be exact. Only discovered when the curator reviewed the CC portion of the emails. I missed 3 updates (re: food allergies etc).
I was bcc'd on an email he sent her asking why she'd left person's A-F off the new emails. She informed him we no longer work there and therefore shouldn't be invited nor informed of any changes. (with an underlying snide tone of snottiness and rudeness of how he dare question her) The short of it is, he instructed her to forward all emails to all volunteers, that it wasn't in her position to make those decisions, cc'd her boss, & bcc'd me on it. (first unprofessional thing I've ever seen him do).
It seems now that he's not going to be working aside Crazy C anymore, he's not humouring her. I love that the management there just reconfirms I'm not losing my mind when it comes to the snide things she'd do. If she's not careful she will shoot herself in the foot etc.
We covered some other topics, some work, some not. He will ensure I'm well received back to the museum in November etc, but I think we both know I won't be returning on a regular basis.
I don't have much more to write about. Everything is just meh right now. Hoping that changes in the coming weeks.
How was your long weekend?
I've been talking to the curator a little this past week, and good thing too, cos as it turns out, his Good Bye Potluck has been rescheduled from this Friday to next Wednesday. I wasn't aware, no emails were sent to me. :(
There is good reason for that we discovered.
Enter Crazy C.
She is now in charge of organizing the potluck. As it turns out she has deliberately
left a certain few volunteers off the emails. 6 to be exact. Only discovered when the curator reviewed the CC portion of the emails. I missed 3 updates (re: food allergies etc).
I was bcc'd on an email he sent her asking why she'd left person's A-F off the new emails. She informed him we no longer work there and therefore shouldn't be invited nor informed of any changes. (with an underlying snide tone of snottiness and rudeness of how he dare question her) The short of it is, he instructed her to forward all emails to all volunteers, that it wasn't in her position to make those decisions, cc'd her boss, & bcc'd me on it. (first unprofessional thing I've ever seen him do).
It seems now that he's not going to be working aside Crazy C anymore, he's not humouring her. I love that the management there just reconfirms I'm not losing my mind when it comes to the snide things she'd do. If she's not careful she will shoot herself in the foot etc.
We covered some other topics, some work, some not. He will ensure I'm well received back to the museum in November etc, but I think we both know I won't be returning on a regular basis.
I don't have much more to write about. Everything is just meh right now. Hoping that changes in the coming weeks.
How was your long weekend?
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Crazy C Update
A while back I mentioned the curator at my museum had applied for a new position with another museum one city over. After a long wait, he verbally accepted the position this morning! Woot!
Personal and formal emails were sent and received upon hearing the great news. Not 5 minutes later, I get an email from Crazy C at work, asking me if we can chat. "I'm assuming you've heard the news if you're still in touch with anyone here. Rob is leaving us. Can we chat?" Little does she (or anyone for that matter) know I was a reference for him to get that position.
I do not think I'll be replying. It's temping cos I want to be the sympathetic ear as I had offered in the original email telling her to back off. Instead, I'm going to go against the urge to be nice and do the exact opposite.
No reply.
I already know her emails will be all weepy about how she won't have him to stare at anymore. Errr.. I mean obsess about.
We're planning drinks to celebrate. I imagine it will be a group thing. No reason it shouldn't be. I'll see her at that time. Where I'm surrrrrrrre he'll let it out of the bag about my part in it all. That will surely piss her off. Is it wrong that the thought of that brings me a little joy? ha-ha.
So, that's it. It will be interesting to see what the dynamic of the museum will be when I return in November. I promised I'd give the newbie a try before deciding if I'd resign permanently or not. I am a woman of my word. Well I try at least.
Personal and formal emails were sent and received upon hearing the great news. Not 5 minutes later, I get an email from Crazy C at work, asking me if we can chat. "I'm assuming you've heard the news if you're still in touch with anyone here. Rob is leaving us. Can we chat?" Little does she (or anyone for that matter) know I was a reference for him to get that position.
I do not think I'll be replying. It's temping cos I want to be the sympathetic ear as I had offered in the original email telling her to back off. Instead, I'm going to go against the urge to be nice and do the exact opposite.
No reply.
I already know her emails will be all weepy about how she won't have him to stare at anymore. Errr.. I mean obsess about.
We're planning drinks to celebrate. I imagine it will be a group thing. No reason it shouldn't be. I'll see her at that time. Where I'm surrrrrrrre he'll let it out of the bag about my part in it all. That will surely piss her off. Is it wrong that the thought of that brings me a little joy? ha-ha.
So, that's it. It will be interesting to see what the dynamic of the museum will be when I return in November. I promised I'd give the newbie a try before deciding if I'd resign permanently or not. I am a woman of my word. Well I try at least.
Monday, 14 March 2011
Royal Bitch & Crazy C Update
You read it. I'm a royal bitch these days. Not to everyone, specifically to one person.
It's almost like he's taunting me to tear him down a notch or two every time hedoes something stupid opens his mouth.
Island Guy (read back from April -Sept 09 I think) lives just a few short blocks from me since moving here in 09. He's grown up considerably since moving here and realizing that the mainland isn't forgiving. (this is saying a lot when you read the following) We're adults here. People do not care you're sensitive, business is business. He regularly mixes business with the wrong kind of pleasure.
Eg: His boss says they're thinking of considering him for the sales department in another part of the country. He hears "Promotion, more money" and goes and gives notice on his apt, spends money he doesn't have, solely based on hearsay. I've told him repeatedly, until it's in writing, believe nothing. This company screws him over more often that I'm surprised he just doesn't drop his pants and wait for it. Or leave and get a job elsewhere?
Same with women. This one pisses me off.
He bitches endlessly and cries (sorry men, boys who cry cause they did not get their way is NOT attractive - there is a difference between crying for a valid reason and because you're a petulant child) He is all too often all woes is me about his love life. His biggest mistake...asking me for my opinion.
He knows I will not hold his hand. In the beginning I use to use more tact, now, I do not give a flying fuck, cos he only asks so someone will feel sorry for him, when he has no intentions of trying to improve the things that piss women off.
Eg: He asked me why women won't date him more than once. He asks for the brutal honest truth as his "big sister" (dude you're 28 you should have some of this basic shit figured out), so that is what I gave him. Based on the stories he's shared with me.
1) Being sucky cute (in voice and mannerisms) I've advised him many many times that women do not like men who think/trying to be cute as a way to get by is acceptable. Seriously. You get into a fight and you're 100% at fault, reply by text or phone and the only thing leaving your mouth is a giggle followed by "we're good" is not okay. Just cos you say it, doesn't make it true. Avoiding the issues at hand by being cute or talking like a baby do not make things okay... it just aggravates it more.
2) He doesn't listen. - If a girl (his last g/f) says lets go for a hike. She means, "let's go for a hike" He hears, pack a picnic and make it all romantic etc.. mean while the g/f is dressed and ready to do the grouse grind. Then wonders why the g/f is annoyed with him and breaks up with him a few weeks later for more of the above being repeated.
3) This one bugs most people, not just g/f's etc.
If anyone contacts you via the phone, you'd think most of the world's population would want a phone call back. Nope... if you call him, he'll reply on your facebook wall. If you text him, he will reply via email. If you write on his facebook wall, he'll text you.
He'll do the opposite of however you've contacted him.
I've told him this is the a large part of the reason I do not invite him out anywhere, cos I'm not chasing him down to confirm plans. If he's serious about staying connected with his friends and dates, he needs to pay attention to the basic common sense of communicating.
Needless to say, he was less than impressed with my replies. "Not impressed, seriously not impressed" he says. That was 14 days ago. I've emailed, called, texted and fb him. No reply. When I did finally get a hold of him last night, his first reply to me when asked why he hadn't returned any calls etc was "we're good".
UGH!!!!!
NO WE'RE NOT! You're not! He goes on to explain that he's mad at me.
I couldn't help but laugh.. which pissed him off even more.
My response was... "Are you mad at me cos I gave you the answers you didn't want to hear, or cos it's true? Do you think you would be mad if it weren't true? Hate to say it, but you have a whole lot more growing up to do."
I might not have handled him with the most care. I find myself time and time again having less and less patience for him. He's careless with his health (allergic to all nuts and let all his epi-pens all expire 3 years ago) Careless with his bills. (he pays $800 all inclusive) Bitches that he's always broke and struggling, and in the same breath, talks about how he wants to move to another part of the city his rent would be $800-$1000 not inclusive. In his head he doesn't see the argument?
His parents are partly to blame for all this. They've time and time again bailed him out and he's become dependant on it. "oh it's okay, my parents will take care of me"... Dude you're almost 30 and then you wonder why women do not want to date you? Island Guy moving the mainland was a huge step in cutting the apron strings, and he has grown up a bit (if you can believe it)
I guess what I'm trying to tell myself, it's not my job to parent or sister him. He asks, I tell him and he throws hissy fits. As I get older I'm finding myself less patient to deal with blanten stupidity. That makes me a bitch and a bad friend. Although on the other hand, my other friends who have troubles I handle much better. Maybe it's cos they are not running home to their folks, or whining about it constantly. They voice their laundry, get suggestions then actually do something about it. Whereas Island Guy just runs home to his parents (who are actually lovely people btw) and hides.
The past year and a half since breaking up with Douche bag, I've become a bit of a hard ass. I need to find that balance of tact, kindness and patience, without being a royal bitch. Or I might find myself without friends.
I don't want to seem all McJudgey, but I am finding it hard to maintain friendships with people who seem to like living their lives as though they're still teenagers.
I think my compassion censor is broken. I have a shitty attitude.
Moving On......Crazy C
Friday I was talking to Elizabeth Singleton that I had a gut vibe things at the museum would not be running as smoothly as the last time I was there with Crazy C. I tried to brush it off, cos I really do not care what that lunatic thinks or does anymore. (ya that was harsh) I walked in the front door to be greeted with the death stare and curled lip from hell I've ever seen. I say Hi, and keep walking past her.
For the few hours I'm there, things move along without incident. Then I started to notice, any time I had to walk into her area, she would get up go into the other room, which I just came from, and look like she was looking for something. It became obvious to several people in a short period of time.
At one point I looked up, smirked at the curator and found a reason to walk into her area, again.. the same thing... she almost jolts out of her chair and walks into the room I just came from. Everytime. It was hard not to start laughing out loud. The curator finally walked over to her and whispered (even though its tight quarters we can all hear the whisper) to her that he felt she was walking around too much for things that were not relevant every time I got up etc.. She stayed put the next few times I had to grab a book etc. but the looks she would shoot me. I would just smile at her and go about my business.
She must be out of her mind if she thinks a few dirty looks and making it clear it's uncomfortable in my presence is going to stop me from coming to the museum. Okay it might after awhile, but I refuse to let events in her brain or saga she thinks is going on, to effect my job and time there. Part of me really wants to just fuck with her now. I won't cos who knows what kind of crazy will surface.
When I left, I said "bye, have a good week" with a pleasant none bitchy tone, only to be greeted with a very nasty snarl (which a few people saw) and what I swear was her about to give me the finger, instead she just waved as though she was shooing someone away.. you know that move right? the back of your hand is waving shoo shoo go away...
Oh Crazy C... you are indeed a nut.
It's almost like he's taunting me to tear him down a notch or two every time he
Island Guy (read back from April -Sept 09 I think) lives just a few short blocks from me since moving here in 09. He's grown up considerably since moving here and realizing that the mainland isn't forgiving. (this is saying a lot when you read the following) We're adults here. People do not care you're sensitive, business is business. He regularly mixes business with the wrong kind of pleasure.
Eg: His boss says they're thinking of considering him for the sales department in another part of the country. He hears "Promotion, more money" and goes and gives notice on his apt, spends money he doesn't have, solely based on hearsay. I've told him repeatedly, until it's in writing, believe nothing. This company screws him over more often that I'm surprised he just doesn't drop his pants and wait for it. Or leave and get a job elsewhere?
Same with women. This one pisses me off.
He bitches endlessly and cries (sorry men, boys who cry cause they did not get their way is NOT attractive - there is a difference between crying for a valid reason and because you're a petulant child) He is all too often all woes is me about his love life. His biggest mistake...asking me for my opinion.
He knows I will not hold his hand. In the beginning I use to use more tact, now, I do not give a flying fuck, cos he only asks so someone will feel sorry for him, when he has no intentions of trying to improve the things that piss women off.
Eg: He asked me why women won't date him more than once. He asks for the brutal honest truth as his "big sister" (dude you're 28 you should have some of this basic shit figured out), so that is what I gave him. Based on the stories he's shared with me.
1) Being sucky cute (in voice and mannerisms) I've advised him many many times that women do not like men who think/trying to be cute as a way to get by is acceptable. Seriously. You get into a fight and you're 100% at fault, reply by text or phone and the only thing leaving your mouth is a giggle followed by "we're good" is not okay. Just cos you say it, doesn't make it true. Avoiding the issues at hand by being cute or talking like a baby do not make things okay... it just aggravates it more.
2) He doesn't listen. - If a girl (his last g/f) says lets go for a hike. She means, "let's go for a hike" He hears, pack a picnic and make it all romantic etc.. mean while the g/f is dressed and ready to do the grouse grind. Then wonders why the g/f is annoyed with him and breaks up with him a few weeks later for more of the above being repeated.
3) This one bugs most people, not just g/f's etc.
If anyone contacts you via the phone, you'd think most of the world's population would want a phone call back. Nope... if you call him, he'll reply on your facebook wall. If you text him, he will reply via email. If you write on his facebook wall, he'll text you.
He'll do the opposite of however you've contacted him.
I've told him this is the a large part of the reason I do not invite him out anywhere, cos I'm not chasing him down to confirm plans. If he's serious about staying connected with his friends and dates, he needs to pay attention to the basic common sense of communicating.
Needless to say, he was less than impressed with my replies. "Not impressed, seriously not impressed" he says. That was 14 days ago. I've emailed, called, texted and fb him. No reply. When I did finally get a hold of him last night, his first reply to me when asked why he hadn't returned any calls etc was "we're good".
UGH!!!!!
NO WE'RE NOT! You're not! He goes on to explain that he's mad at me.
I couldn't help but laugh.. which pissed him off even more.
My response was... "Are you mad at me cos I gave you the answers you didn't want to hear, or cos it's true? Do you think you would be mad if it weren't true? Hate to say it, but you have a whole lot more growing up to do."
I might not have handled him with the most care. I find myself time and time again having less and less patience for him. He's careless with his health (allergic to all nuts and let all his epi-pens all expire 3 years ago) Careless with his bills. (he pays $800 all inclusive) Bitches that he's always broke and struggling, and in the same breath, talks about how he wants to move to another part of the city his rent would be $800-$1000 not inclusive. In his head he doesn't see the argument?
His parents are partly to blame for all this. They've time and time again bailed him out and he's become dependant on it. "oh it's okay, my parents will take care of me"... Dude you're almost 30 and then you wonder why women do not want to date you? Island Guy moving the mainland was a huge step in cutting the apron strings, and he has grown up a bit (if you can believe it)
I guess what I'm trying to tell myself, it's not my job to parent or sister him. He asks, I tell him and he throws hissy fits. As I get older I'm finding myself less patient to deal with blanten stupidity. That makes me a bitch and a bad friend. Although on the other hand, my other friends who have troubles I handle much better. Maybe it's cos they are not running home to their folks, or whining about it constantly. They voice their laundry, get suggestions then actually do something about it. Whereas Island Guy just runs home to his parents (who are actually lovely people btw) and hides.
The past year and a half since breaking up with Douche bag, I've become a bit of a hard ass. I need to find that balance of tact, kindness and patience, without being a royal bitch. Or I might find myself without friends.
I don't want to seem all McJudgey, but I am finding it hard to maintain friendships with people who seem to like living their lives as though they're still teenagers.
I think my compassion censor is broken. I have a shitty attitude.
Moving On......Crazy C
Friday I was talking to Elizabeth Singleton that I had a gut vibe things at the museum would not be running as smoothly as the last time I was there with Crazy C. I tried to brush it off, cos I really do not care what that lunatic thinks or does anymore. (ya that was harsh) I walked in the front door to be greeted with the death stare and curled lip from hell I've ever seen. I say Hi, and keep walking past her.
For the few hours I'm there, things move along without incident. Then I started to notice, any time I had to walk into her area, she would get up go into the other room, which I just came from, and look like she was looking for something. It became obvious to several people in a short period of time.
At one point I looked up, smirked at the curator and found a reason to walk into her area, again.. the same thing... she almost jolts out of her chair and walks into the room I just came from. Everytime. It was hard not to start laughing out loud. The curator finally walked over to her and whispered (even though its tight quarters we can all hear the whisper) to her that he felt she was walking around too much for things that were not relevant every time I got up etc.. She stayed put the next few times I had to grab a book etc. but the looks she would shoot me. I would just smile at her and go about my business.
She must be out of her mind if she thinks a few dirty looks and making it clear it's uncomfortable in my presence is going to stop me from coming to the museum. Okay it might after awhile, but I refuse to let events in her brain or saga she thinks is going on, to effect my job and time there. Part of me really wants to just fuck with her now. I won't cos who knows what kind of crazy will surface.
When I left, I said "bye, have a good week" with a pleasant none bitchy tone, only to be greeted with a very nasty snarl (which a few people saw) and what I swear was her about to give me the finger, instead she just waved as though she was shooing someone away.. you know that move right? the back of your hand is waving shoo shoo go away...
Oh Crazy C... you are indeed a nut.
Saturday, 19 February 2011
No More Museum Crazy C
It's over!
I had enough of all the emails, texting, phone calls with no messages left. Hang ups etc.
Once again I want to thank Elizabeth Singleton. Without her personal insight and personal experiences, I'm not sure I would have been able to handle ending this on a high note. I might have just resorted to throwing a hissy fit and telling her to go away etc. Instead I explained the points I wanted to make, while I think obtaining a positive note on it all. However Crazy C did not see it that way.
I had planned to talk to the curator about my plans to ask CC to scale it back a bit, unfortunately I did not get that chance until after the email was sent. I sent the email as close to the end of CC's day, as not make her upset while at work. Knowing she'd be checking her hotmail account from work.
After setting up an appointment this morning for a phone call with the curator, I feel even better about the actions I took.
I explained to him that I did not want her reprimanded as this was a personal issue, although I did want him to be aware of my plans so he could gauge her attitude etc. We talked for about 30 mins this morning.
Covered a lot of ground. He asked if I had the emails still etc. advising yes, he asked if I was comfortable reading some of them, and in addition wanted to know if the emails were sent from her work or personal account. They were sent from her work. I read a few, explaining that I did not reply to any.
The short of it is, he was pleased with the way I handled it. enquired if more actions would be needed. (going to their big boss or legal actions) At the moment, no. I will continue to be professional and respectful towards her while I'm there. I do feel the need to mention that had I left this much longer, I wouldn't put it past her to drive by my house etc. She's mentioned she's done that in the past etc..
I feel positive. I've been backed up. My hours at the museum are flexible, and been reassured that they enjoy me there etc. Of course he had to ask me if I felt taken advantage of, being asked to do certain tasks as it's not a paying job. I confirmed I was happy, loving the experience and reminded him he's always given me the option not to do a certain task. I always reply, "it has to be done, put me where the priority is".. and off I go. It may be volunteer, but it's still a real job.
So here it is. The email I sent to CC and her reply.
Hey Crazy C,
What do you mean "What the F is wrong with you? I can't find you anywhere..."
I am not always available, or online. Sometimes I just do not feel like being reached.
I haven't been around to reply to all your emails.
Please do NOT take this the wrong way. I'm sorry if I've worried you, but I don't feel it necessary to reply immediately or talk to somebody everyday.
My everyday life isn't like that. I don't talk to my friends, email, or text them every single day, so it become a little over whelming to be checked on, like I'm being monitored or having tabs kept on me. It starts to feel suffocating and needy, especially when it starts with, "I cant find you."
I'm not ignoring you or giving you the silent treatment, as per your most recent text message.
I've just got things going on right now, that I'm not interested in sharing with anybody.
Unfortunately, I don't think we're as close as you may think we are.
I like you, but I find your behaviour right now a little overwhelming and I need to have some space from the constant emails.
So on that note, let's leave our acquaintanceship to chatting on Friday's, the occasional drink after work, and being your soundboard from time to time.
That's all I can offer you at this moment.
Just Saying.
Her reply:
thats fine not many people can handle being my friend. its something i am working on.
after a year (as you pointed out we have known each other for) i thought you knew my behaviour is well meaning and can be interpreted as being over the top.
we dont have anything in common and you are right we arent really friends.
i was hoping for a friendship but i am definitely in agreement that we are not a good fit.
dont bother with the niceties, i can reject people too you know.
so good luck and no love lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooooooooooo DA CRAZY IS GONE!!
The coming weeks will tell how she is really adjusting it. Her "so good luck" might imply maybe she thinks I quit the museum? She'll be in for a shock next week if that is what she indeed thought. She replied not as I thought. I thought it would be more spazzy. E.Singleton pointed out (she has a secret handbook on crazies, or just took really good notes in her experiences) that CC would probably try and turn this around, as it's all my fault. etc. Time will only tell.
I knew her personality was indeed over the top, but there is a difference between being quirky and physco.
At least she is self aware. Claims to be working on it... that only works if you're not taking recreational drugs in addition to your lithium. She did hit it on the nail when she confirmed we have nothing in common. We don't. Not one thing. That isn't always a bad thing, but in this case, it was.
So now you have it. I'm free of da crazy.
Thank you all for the support, and suggestions wheather they were public or private.
Every bit helped.
Now I have to see about getting my judgement radar fixed. Cos it is clearly defective.
I had enough of all the emails, texting, phone calls with no messages left. Hang ups etc.
Once again I want to thank Elizabeth Singleton. Without her personal insight and personal experiences, I'm not sure I would have been able to handle ending this on a high note. I might have just resorted to throwing a hissy fit and telling her to go away etc. Instead I explained the points I wanted to make, while I think obtaining a positive note on it all. However Crazy C did not see it that way.
I had planned to talk to the curator about my plans to ask CC to scale it back a bit, unfortunately I did not get that chance until after the email was sent. I sent the email as close to the end of CC's day, as not make her upset while at work. Knowing she'd be checking her hotmail account from work.
After setting up an appointment this morning for a phone call with the curator, I feel even better about the actions I took.
I explained to him that I did not want her reprimanded as this was a personal issue, although I did want him to be aware of my plans so he could gauge her attitude etc. We talked for about 30 mins this morning.
Covered a lot of ground. He asked if I had the emails still etc. advising yes, he asked if I was comfortable reading some of them, and in addition wanted to know if the emails were sent from her work or personal account. They were sent from her work. I read a few, explaining that I did not reply to any.
The short of it is, he was pleased with the way I handled it. enquired if more actions would be needed. (going to their big boss or legal actions) At the moment, no. I will continue to be professional and respectful towards her while I'm there. I do feel the need to mention that had I left this much longer, I wouldn't put it past her to drive by my house etc. She's mentioned she's done that in the past etc..
I feel positive. I've been backed up. My hours at the museum are flexible, and been reassured that they enjoy me there etc. Of course he had to ask me if I felt taken advantage of, being asked to do certain tasks as it's not a paying job. I confirmed I was happy, loving the experience and reminded him he's always given me the option not to do a certain task. I always reply, "it has to be done, put me where the priority is".. and off I go. It may be volunteer, but it's still a real job.
So here it is. The email I sent to CC and her reply.
Hey Crazy C,
What do you mean "What the F is wrong with you? I can't find you anywhere..."
I am not always available, or online. Sometimes I just do not feel like being reached.
I haven't been around to reply to all your emails.
Please do NOT take this the wrong way. I'm sorry if I've worried you, but I don't feel it necessary to reply immediately or talk to somebody everyday.
My everyday life isn't like that. I don't talk to my friends, email, or text them every single day, so it become a little over whelming to be checked on, like I'm being monitored or having tabs kept on me. It starts to feel suffocating and needy, especially when it starts with, "I cant find you."
I'm not ignoring you or giving you the silent treatment, as per your most recent text message.
I've just got things going on right now, that I'm not interested in sharing with anybody.
Unfortunately, I don't think we're as close as you may think we are.
I like you, but I find your behaviour right now a little overwhelming and I need to have some space from the constant emails.
So on that note, let's leave our acquaintanceship to chatting on Friday's, the occasional drink after work, and being your soundboard from time to time.
That's all I can offer you at this moment.
Just Saying.
Her reply:
thats fine not many people can handle being my friend. its something i am working on.
after a year (as you pointed out we have known each other for) i thought you knew my behaviour is well meaning and can be interpreted as being over the top.
we dont have anything in common and you are right we arent really friends.
i was hoping for a friendship but i am definitely in agreement that we are not a good fit.
dont bother with the niceties, i can reject people too you know.
so good luck and no love lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooooooooooo DA CRAZY IS GONE!!
The coming weeks will tell how she is really adjusting it. Her "so good luck" might imply maybe she thinks I quit the museum? She'll be in for a shock next week if that is what she indeed thought. She replied not as I thought. I thought it would be more spazzy. E.Singleton pointed out (she has a secret handbook on crazies, or just took really good notes in her experiences) that CC would probably try and turn this around, as it's all my fault. etc. Time will only tell.
I knew her personality was indeed over the top, but there is a difference between being quirky and physco.
At least she is self aware. Claims to be working on it... that only works if you're not taking recreational drugs in addition to your lithium. She did hit it on the nail when she confirmed we have nothing in common. We don't. Not one thing. That isn't always a bad thing, but in this case, it was.
So now you have it. I'm free of da crazy.
Thank you all for the support, and suggestions wheather they were public or private.
Every bit helped.
Now I have to see about getting my judgement radar fixed. Cos it is clearly defective.
Friday, 18 February 2011
Crazy C Update
, After a day off and much discussion with Elizabeth Singleton we've decided that Crazy C is thicker than I am capable of handling.
Ms. Singleton reminded me of her experiences with someone previously in her life who behaved the same way. She suggested I not make my life so available to her eg: facebook statuses. It's never occurred to me that I give away entirely too much information. Like - Renew licence, do chores, go on date, volunteer at the museum, see Rosco play.. It's going to be a good week. She NEEDS to know where and what I'm doing all the time. Like she's entitled to know. I deleted my updates.
And almost immediately, Crazy C started to panic, just as Singleton said she would when she couldn't see what I was up too via FB. "She needs to keep tabs on you."
In the last 60 hours,(started Tuesday night) here are the emails from Crazy C.
Wednesday night:
Email #1 - Gottza gettza a new phone.
Email #2 - Dino hasn't arrived yet. Haven't heard from him. (Ok I have no idea who/what a dino is)
Email# 3- Where are you? Hello.
Thursday all day:
Email #1 on facebook- What the f is going on with you? i cant find you anywhere...
Email #2 on my work account - Hello? (my out of office notice in on at this point)
Cell starts to ring as I'm on the phone with Singleton, it's Crazy C. No msg is left. No Text.
Email # 3 on facebook - Where are you?
Email #4 - Are you alright?
Friday - Today:
Email #1 - Hello? Where the F are you?!!?!!
Email #2 - HELLLLOOO!!!! Clearly you're at work, your out of office is off now!
Email #3 - Are you coming in today?
I honestly thought I'd be able to just ignore her, or tell her I'm just not interested in hanging out anymore.
I have tact most of the time, however this is going to be much much harder as I'm dealing with someone who's mental stability and reality are cloudy, very very cloudy. Again, I'm not dissing her cos of her mental illness, I'm dissing her cos it's becoming apparent she isn't taking care of her mental health properly. And projecting that the state of her happiness depends on me. (no seriously, that's not ego talking)
As suggested, she will try and twist the events as this is all my fault etc, and there is probably a whole other series of events that she imagined took place in her head all leading up to this. And in her brain, I somehow owe her an explanation. I'm going to try and turn this around on her. "What is with the WTF emails?, What's up?"
I will not be updating my facebook status with anything relevant for the next few weeks. And I might, just might have to quit the museum for the time being.
I want to see the good in everyone, but my crazy bullshit radar has been clearly defective for the last couple years. It's almost like I'm inviting this shit into my life. I'm not, I swear.
I made a joke that if I ignore her long enough, I might just find her in my room watching me sleep or something. We laughed, but not in that HAHAH way, it was more ha-ha-um-ya.
There is a strong possibility, that I will have to quit working at the museum for the time being.
I will be discussing this with the curator, as see if we can work something out. I rather not have him talk to her, cos it will just escalate things. It's already uncomfortable the best of times to see her once a week.
If it wasn't for Ms. Singleton really pointing out some obvious things, who knows how much longer I would have let this go on. I went back and read all the entries about Crazy C since this all started. I learned something. 1. I should have stopped this after the first outside of work hangout. 2. It IS escalating.
This all started Tuesday when Crazy C was going thru my friends list, and got waaaaaaaaaay too excited about one person in particular. Actually she freaked right out. (Singleton & I have this person as a mutual friend) She claims they had made out forever ago, (in reality, maybe it was a kiss on the cheek, who knows) Started to demand information on this person. How I knew them, how I came to have him on facebook, wanting personal information on him. Umm that is NEVER, read, NEVER going to happen.
I screwed around with fb and can not be sure how I did it, but I manage to block my friends list from everyone. Last thing I need is her going thru my list and start messaging men (celebrity or not) and making me look bad. She has not mentioned she can no longer see my list. However there is always the possibility she messaged them before I was able to block it.
I'm exhausted just thinking about her. Never mind dealing with her in person.
It will have to come to the point where I just talk to her and explain that her behaviour is erratic.
If it wasn't for the fact I like working at the museum so much, this shit would have ended forever ago.
There will be tears. Probably screaming at me. And then the bad mouthing me, like she does every single other person that works there.
Except the curator who she is in love with and insanely jealous of me having a more personable relationship with him. He gave me a pat on the back last week for helping out etc.. nothing inappropriate, but a rub on the shoulder. She saw it and mentioned it later.. HE TOUCHED YOU!?
YOU KNOW HE'S NEVER GOING TO LEAVE HIS G/F!!!
um. wtf? I told her to relax and that it wasn't a big deal, he was thanking me.
HE NEVER TOUCHES ANYONE!!! NEVER!!!! In my head I'm hearing.. "he never touches me!"
How do I deal with this shit? Its seriously has stopped being comical.
At the same time I feel like I'm being a shitty person for wanting to drop her, knowing she has issues.
ARG.
Ms. Singleton reminded me of her experiences with someone previously in her life who behaved the same way. She suggested I not make my life so available to her eg: facebook statuses. It's never occurred to me that I give away entirely too much information. Like - Renew licence, do chores, go on date, volunteer at the museum, see Rosco play.. It's going to be a good week. She NEEDS to know where and what I'm doing all the time. Like she's entitled to know. I deleted my updates.
And almost immediately, Crazy C started to panic, just as Singleton said she would when she couldn't see what I was up too via FB. "She needs to keep tabs on you."
In the last 60 hours,(started Tuesday night) here are the emails from Crazy C.
Wednesday night:
Email #1 - Gottza gettza a new phone.
Email #2 - Dino hasn't arrived yet. Haven't heard from him. (Ok I have no idea who/what a dino is)
Email# 3- Where are you? Hello.
Thursday all day:
Email #1 on facebook- What the f is going on with you? i cant find you anywhere...
Email #2 on my work account - Hello? (my out of office notice in on at this point)
Cell starts to ring as I'm on the phone with Singleton, it's Crazy C. No msg is left. No Text.
Email # 3 on facebook - Where are you?
Email #4 - Are you alright?
Friday - Today:
Email #1 - Hello? Where the F are you?!!?!!
Email #2 - HELLLLOOO!!!! Clearly you're at work, your out of office is off now!
Email #3 - Are you coming in today?
I honestly thought I'd be able to just ignore her, or tell her I'm just not interested in hanging out anymore.
I have tact most of the time, however this is going to be much much harder as I'm dealing with someone who's mental stability and reality are cloudy, very very cloudy. Again, I'm not dissing her cos of her mental illness, I'm dissing her cos it's becoming apparent she isn't taking care of her mental health properly. And projecting that the state of her happiness depends on me. (no seriously, that's not ego talking)
As suggested, she will try and twist the events as this is all my fault etc, and there is probably a whole other series of events that she imagined took place in her head all leading up to this. And in her brain, I somehow owe her an explanation. I'm going to try and turn this around on her. "What is with the WTF emails?, What's up?"
I will not be updating my facebook status with anything relevant for the next few weeks. And I might, just might have to quit the museum for the time being.
I want to see the good in everyone, but my crazy bullshit radar has been clearly defective for the last couple years. It's almost like I'm inviting this shit into my life. I'm not, I swear.
I made a joke that if I ignore her long enough, I might just find her in my room watching me sleep or something. We laughed, but not in that HAHAH way, it was more ha-ha-um-ya.
There is a strong possibility, that I will have to quit working at the museum for the time being.
I will be discussing this with the curator, as see if we can work something out. I rather not have him talk to her, cos it will just escalate things. It's already uncomfortable the best of times to see her once a week.
If it wasn't for Ms. Singleton really pointing out some obvious things, who knows how much longer I would have let this go on. I went back and read all the entries about Crazy C since this all started. I learned something. 1. I should have stopped this after the first outside of work hangout. 2. It IS escalating.
This all started Tuesday when Crazy C was going thru my friends list, and got waaaaaaaaaay too excited about one person in particular. Actually she freaked right out. (Singleton & I have this person as a mutual friend) She claims they had made out forever ago, (in reality, maybe it was a kiss on the cheek, who knows) Started to demand information on this person. How I knew them, how I came to have him on facebook, wanting personal information on him. Umm that is NEVER, read, NEVER going to happen.
I screwed around with fb and can not be sure how I did it, but I manage to block my friends list from everyone. Last thing I need is her going thru my list and start messaging men (celebrity or not) and making me look bad. She has not mentioned she can no longer see my list. However there is always the possibility she messaged them before I was able to block it.
I'm exhausted just thinking about her. Never mind dealing with her in person.
It will have to come to the point where I just talk to her and explain that her behaviour is erratic.
If it wasn't for the fact I like working at the museum so much, this shit would have ended forever ago.
There will be tears. Probably screaming at me. And then the bad mouthing me, like she does every single other person that works there.
Except the curator who she is in love with and insanely jealous of me having a more personable relationship with him. He gave me a pat on the back last week for helping out etc.. nothing inappropriate, but a rub on the shoulder. She saw it and mentioned it later.. HE TOUCHED YOU!?
YOU KNOW HE'S NEVER GOING TO LEAVE HIS G/F!!!
um. wtf? I told her to relax and that it wasn't a big deal, he was thanking me.
HE NEVER TOUCHES ANYONE!!! NEVER!!!! In my head I'm hearing.. "he never touches me!"
How do I deal with this shit? Its seriously has stopped being comical.
At the same time I feel like I'm being a shitty person for wanting to drop her, knowing she has issues.
ARG.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Lost Art
I've been bitching about the lack of manner in people for years. Mostly the lack of just your basic civil everyday manners, mostly from men. While on dates.
Reading the 24 News paper that is given out free at every single skytrain station. In it today there was an article about how one single mum, dating, noticed that her 6 yr old child had more manners than her 40 yr old boyfriend. She thought to herself, that she has to be sure to raise a good boyfriend.
When did society as a whole start lacking manners? Don't say times are changing etc... there is never a reason not to call to say you're going to be late to dinner (just don't call AFTER you're suppose to be there) There is never a reason to not hold a door open from time to time, help women with their jackets, offer your seat on the bus (I'll rant again about this one in a bit) hold their gawd damn hands. And this isn't just on dates. This should be an everyday event.
I commute by transit, and on a daily basis I see grown men ignore women of any age with stability issues, age, or lots of parcels etc and pretend not to notice they need the seat you're in. I've schooled a few men myself on the bus. It's just shameful to see an elderly man offer his seat to a women when there 2,3,4 other capable young men (ages 16-40) more than ept to stand up.
I went on a a few dates recently with an old highschool friend who has manners coming out of his ass.
Although I'm not interested in him romantically, he is consistent with his manners. Along with him and a few of my other male friends, they have raised the bar.
Now this also of course applies to women just as much as it does men. Some women are very defensive, and well, they will come around in time. Others think (or demand) that they be treated like princess's. I think, yes, you should want to be treated nicely, but to demand it?? No. There is a time and place for everything.
Perfect example- my weekend with Museum Crazy C. (you know this wont end well)
She was having a very manic week, so I offered my ear to her...at my house, after work. She cried a lot. More out of realization that she's been dwelling on someone she can't have and a museum co-worker is all buddy buddy with him now and continues to run it in her face... detour.. story for a whole other day..
After much crying, my phone was ringing all night, friends asking if I was going to a gig in town. I had mentioned NO, as I was comforting a co-worker (I'm always careful not to use the word friend) etc. In the end we ended up going to this gig. We sat down, I introduced myself to the handsome men across the table from us (as we're sharing their space) and start to enjoy the night. It's not til the end of the night where I learned a few things. I've already exchanged phone numbers with one of these men earlier, and had excused myself from the table. Upon my return, the men were gone and Crazy C was looking smug.
And drunk. Very very drunk.
She wants to freshen up before we leave, so I mention I'll meet her outside etc.
I run into the men from our table, looking less than impressed.. Make some small talk and learn that Crazy C had said to them while I was away from the table.. "If you were real gentlemen, you'd pick up our tab."
Hanging my head in shame and simply horrified.. I apologize to them and offer the business card of the one guy back to him. I'm sure he thinks I'm just as crazy as she is now. I apologize profusely, asking them to let me take them for drinks next week (on me) to make up for her rudeness. They smile politely and the one mentions he'll call me. I will not blame him one bit if he doesn't call.
We head to the car (I drove her car)and Crazy C proceeds to tell me the same story the men just told me.
She laughs while I tell her I think it was extremely rude to ask strangers to pick up her tab. (I had nothing but water) Instantly she gets super defensive (of course) almost yelling that her time with them was worth them picking up the tab.
WHAT!? We weren't WITH them!!! We shared a table that they could have denied us and made small talk. I decided not to argue with her, as I've learned from earlier events that this will all end badly.
Sidenote: While writing this, I've left a voicemail for the one guy and quickly explain that Crazy C and I are NOT friends, but co -workers, extending my offer again (with an apology) to take them for drinks this weekend.
Whilst ladies like to be treated nicely and have tabs picked up for us, it should never be expected. Never.
I will not be taking Crazy C anywhere in public again, no where around my friends anyways.
She saw her behaviour as deserving empowerment. Whereas I saw it as utter rudeness.
So if by fluke chance, 31 yr old Andreis, who recently passed the bar exam in November, employment lawyer from N.Van, happens to read this, again, I'm so so sorry.
.....Still hanging my head in shame.
Reading the 24 News paper that is given out free at every single skytrain station. In it today there was an article about how one single mum, dating, noticed that her 6 yr old child had more manners than her 40 yr old boyfriend. She thought to herself, that she has to be sure to raise a good boyfriend.
When did society as a whole start lacking manners? Don't say times are changing etc... there is never a reason not to call to say you're going to be late to dinner (just don't call AFTER you're suppose to be there) There is never a reason to not hold a door open from time to time, help women with their jackets, offer your seat on the bus (I'll rant again about this one in a bit) hold their gawd damn hands. And this isn't just on dates. This should be an everyday event.
I commute by transit, and on a daily basis I see grown men ignore women of any age with stability issues, age, or lots of parcels etc and pretend not to notice they need the seat you're in. I've schooled a few men myself on the bus. It's just shameful to see an elderly man offer his seat to a women when there 2,3,4 other capable young men (ages 16-40) more than ept to stand up.
I went on a a few dates recently with an old highschool friend who has manners coming out of his ass.
Although I'm not interested in him romantically, he is consistent with his manners. Along with him and a few of my other male friends, they have raised the bar.
Now this also of course applies to women just as much as it does men. Some women are very defensive, and well, they will come around in time. Others think (or demand) that they be treated like princess's. I think, yes, you should want to be treated nicely, but to demand it?? No. There is a time and place for everything.
Perfect example- my weekend with Museum Crazy C. (you know this wont end well)
She was having a very manic week, so I offered my ear to her...at my house, after work. She cried a lot. More out of realization that she's been dwelling on someone she can't have and a museum co-worker is all buddy buddy with him now and continues to run it in her face... detour.. story for a whole other day..
After much crying, my phone was ringing all night, friends asking if I was going to a gig in town. I had mentioned NO, as I was comforting a co-worker (I'm always careful not to use the word friend) etc. In the end we ended up going to this gig. We sat down, I introduced myself to the handsome men across the table from us (as we're sharing their space) and start to enjoy the night. It's not til the end of the night where I learned a few things. I've already exchanged phone numbers with one of these men earlier, and had excused myself from the table. Upon my return, the men were gone and Crazy C was looking smug.
And drunk. Very very drunk.
She wants to freshen up before we leave, so I mention I'll meet her outside etc.
I run into the men from our table, looking less than impressed.. Make some small talk and learn that Crazy C had said to them while I was away from the table.. "If you were real gentlemen, you'd pick up our tab."
Hanging my head in shame and simply horrified.. I apologize to them and offer the business card of the one guy back to him. I'm sure he thinks I'm just as crazy as she is now. I apologize profusely, asking them to let me take them for drinks next week (on me) to make up for her rudeness. They smile politely and the one mentions he'll call me. I will not blame him one bit if he doesn't call.
We head to the car (I drove her car)and Crazy C proceeds to tell me the same story the men just told me.
She laughs while I tell her I think it was extremely rude to ask strangers to pick up her tab. (I had nothing but water) Instantly she gets super defensive (of course) almost yelling that her time with them was worth them picking up the tab.
WHAT!? We weren't WITH them!!! We shared a table that they could have denied us and made small talk. I decided not to argue with her, as I've learned from earlier events that this will all end badly.
Sidenote: While writing this, I've left a voicemail for the one guy and quickly explain that Crazy C and I are NOT friends, but co -workers, extending my offer again (with an apology) to take them for drinks this weekend.
Whilst ladies like to be treated nicely and have tabs picked up for us, it should never be expected. Never.
I will not be taking Crazy C anywhere in public again, no where around my friends anyways.
She saw her behaviour as deserving empowerment. Whereas I saw it as utter rudeness.
So if by fluke chance, 31 yr old Andreis, who recently passed the bar exam in November, employment lawyer from N.Van, happens to read this, again, I'm so so sorry.
.....Still hanging my head in shame.
Monday, 20 December 2010
Museum Crazy C Update
This past Friday I had a great day at the museum. A first in a long time.
The curator and I were working together etc and he asked if I was going to miss my weekly drink with CC?
I rolled my eyes, smiled and whispered I was glad for the break. *wink*
3 hours went by swimmingly and as everyone left we were left behind to finish up some things we'd started that take two people etc. I mentioned I knew it went without saying, but to please not mention what I said about needing a break. As great and perceptive he is, he initiated a chat.
Without giving him intimate details, I explained the situation.
His first concern was that this issue would cause me to want to leave my volunteer position with the museum. I mentioned it had crossed my mind a few times. But wasn't ready to be defeated like that.
R-C stressed in a very positive way, if that was indeed the case, or I felt that was my only solution at any point, then he would make some changes. (wow feeling the love).
He also then assumed that my change within the company, was not only, did I want to explore other venues within the museum, but at the same time the new position would make me less available for CC to access my presence while I'm there. Totally nailed it! (Gawd I love smart people).
That said, I'm thoroughly enjoying my new position more than I anticipated I would. He was thrilled to hear that. Not only cause volunteers are hard to hold onto, but they enjoy my company. Which at one point in the past I was led to believe I was just a buffer for a break from the crazy.
His guidance had strongly suggested that he'd been through this particular concern before with others in the past, and gave me some tools to handle her. Tools I wouldn't have thought to use. :)
Knowing I have back up and support from someone in power will make the process easier.
I'm feeling a whole lot better about how to handle her now.
:)
The curator and I were working together etc and he asked if I was going to miss my weekly drink with CC?
I rolled my eyes, smiled and whispered I was glad for the break. *wink*
3 hours went by swimmingly and as everyone left we were left behind to finish up some things we'd started that take two people etc. I mentioned I knew it went without saying, but to please not mention what I said about needing a break. As great and perceptive he is, he initiated a chat.
Without giving him intimate details, I explained the situation.
His first concern was that this issue would cause me to want to leave my volunteer position with the museum. I mentioned it had crossed my mind a few times. But wasn't ready to be defeated like that.
R-C stressed in a very positive way, if that was indeed the case, or I felt that was my only solution at any point, then he would make some changes. (wow feeling the love).
He also then assumed that my change within the company, was not only, did I want to explore other venues within the museum, but at the same time the new position would make me less available for CC to access my presence while I'm there. Totally nailed it! (Gawd I love smart people).
That said, I'm thoroughly enjoying my new position more than I anticipated I would. He was thrilled to hear that. Not only cause volunteers are hard to hold onto, but they enjoy my company. Which at one point in the past I was led to believe I was just a buffer for a break from the crazy.
His guidance had strongly suggested that he'd been through this particular concern before with others in the past, and gave me some tools to handle her. Tools I wouldn't have thought to use. :)
Knowing I have back up and support from someone in power will make the process easier.
I'm feeling a whole lot better about how to handle her now.
:)
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Single White Female
I've been having some more craziness with Museum Crazy C.
Yesterday while I was at my paying job, her emails started coming in. At first they were the usual generic ramblings of someone filling time and looking busy. That's completely fine.
However, I was busy, working. Actually working, not just looking busy. These moments are few and far between when I have enough work to keep me busy all day.
Enter Miss Crazy.
The emails were becoming abrupt and almost rude. I had posted on FB earlier in the day that I was donating blood that night and would then be offline the rest of the night. Anyone who donates, knows sometimes giving blood can wipe you of a little energy. More so on days where you're already overtired.
Below are bits from her emails:
*One email demanded to know why I donate.
*The others were demanding to know why I wasn't replying to her.
*Another informing me that the Xmas e-card I sent to everyone at the museum was addressed with multiple greetings (Hanukkah, Quanza, Christmas) and that only Christians worked there, so Merry Christmas would have done just fine. (Can't make this shit up).
*The next was her informing me that it drove her absolutely crazy when she was being ignored.
First of all, my patience is waning here. I'm AT WORK! I forwarded the emails to my work wife, asking for her to assist me with a diplomatic reply. However, she was busy too and I couldn't wait, being fuelled by my annoyance for Miss Crazy C.
I shot her a quick reply saying, I didn't have anything to say, and that I was busy with a project. I'd talk to her later. Her emails continued, that if I had enough time to reply to this one, I should have enough time to reply to all.
So I lied.
I sent her another email advising her that I only had a minute to shoot this email out, cos I was not working alone at my desk, that I was with the CFO and the Controller (my immediate bosses) and CAN NOT reply right away and for her to relax. I'll reply when I have time.
Still not good enough. She started texting me. Like that somehow was more acceptable???
Fortunately for me, I foresaw that happening and had turned my ringers off. :) Yay, I get to keep my job.
Towards the end of the day, I emailed her, letting her know my day was over and that I wasn't in the mood to talk. I would chat with her later. More rants from her ensued. I stopped replying.
I'm at a cross roads.
I like her when she's not being super needy and psychotic. I do not want to seem like an enabler for her, but I think her anxieties about going home for the holidays are revving her up a bit. And since she is under the impression we're much better friends than we really are, I'm afraid if I corrected her, there would be results forming as bits from the single white female movie. I have only come to this conclusion solely based on stories she's told me involving old roommates and friends. She looks up to me for a few things. Things I'm completely happy to help guide her through. But it's starting to feel like she relies on me a far more than she should for her own sanity. Sometimes I'm happy to help, it's overwhelming feeling like it's being demanded from me.
How do I tell her, we're not as close as she thinks? I do not need or want to talk to her everyday. Seeing her on Fridays and going for drinks afterwards and maybe one or two other times is enough. Honestly I'm not all that interested in having a close relationship with her. I do not share much information about my life with her, as she is quickly ready to divulge information on other co-workers etc. If I want people to know, I will tell them. That's my choice to share, shouldn't be hers.
I can not cut her off, cos she will make working at the museum hell. Gossip, etc.
I assume she exaggerates often.
And I do not wish to quit because she forgot to take her meds. Could I have seen that being friendly at work would result in this, I wouldn't have been nice. How do you assess something like this before hand?
Recap: She was normal until I went to her house. Tricked me!!! lol
Do I make myself unavailable more often? Screen my calls? Stop replying to emails?
What I need from you readers are a few suggestions how to manage this.
In short, I honestly would not lose any sleep if this relationship ended.
I however do value my life and working in the museum drama free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess when I mentioned here that CC and I talked and all would be good in the world again, was a crock of shit.
I find the more she becomes the topic of my entries, makes me realize even more we have a problem here.
Yesterday while I was at my paying job, her emails started coming in. At first they were the usual generic ramblings of someone filling time and looking busy. That's completely fine.
However, I was busy, working. Actually working, not just looking busy. These moments are few and far between when I have enough work to keep me busy all day.
Enter Miss Crazy.
The emails were becoming abrupt and almost rude. I had posted on FB earlier in the day that I was donating blood that night and would then be offline the rest of the night. Anyone who donates, knows sometimes giving blood can wipe you of a little energy. More so on days where you're already overtired.
Below are bits from her emails:
*One email demanded to know why I donate.
*The others were demanding to know why I wasn't replying to her.
*Another informing me that the Xmas e-card I sent to everyone at the museum was addressed with multiple greetings (Hanukkah, Quanza, Christmas) and that only Christians worked there, so Merry Christmas would have done just fine. (Can't make this shit up).
*The next was her informing me that it drove her absolutely crazy when she was being ignored.
First of all, my patience is waning here. I'm AT WORK! I forwarded the emails to my work wife, asking for her to assist me with a diplomatic reply. However, she was busy too and I couldn't wait, being fuelled by my annoyance for Miss Crazy C.
I shot her a quick reply saying, I didn't have anything to say, and that I was busy with a project. I'd talk to her later. Her emails continued, that if I had enough time to reply to this one, I should have enough time to reply to all.
So I lied.
I sent her another email advising her that I only had a minute to shoot this email out, cos I was not working alone at my desk, that I was with the CFO and the Controller (my immediate bosses) and CAN NOT reply right away and for her to relax. I'll reply when I have time.
Still not good enough. She started texting me. Like that somehow was more acceptable???
Fortunately for me, I foresaw that happening and had turned my ringers off. :) Yay, I get to keep my job.
Towards the end of the day, I emailed her, letting her know my day was over and that I wasn't in the mood to talk. I would chat with her later. More rants from her ensued. I stopped replying.
I'm at a cross roads.
I like her when she's not being super needy and psychotic. I do not want to seem like an enabler for her, but I think her anxieties about going home for the holidays are revving her up a bit. And since she is under the impression we're much better friends than we really are, I'm afraid if I corrected her, there would be results forming as bits from the single white female movie. I have only come to this conclusion solely based on stories she's told me involving old roommates and friends. She looks up to me for a few things. Things I'm completely happy to help guide her through. But it's starting to feel like she relies on me a far more than she should for her own sanity. Sometimes I'm happy to help, it's overwhelming feeling like it's being demanded from me.
How do I tell her, we're not as close as she thinks? I do not need or want to talk to her everyday. Seeing her on Fridays and going for drinks afterwards and maybe one or two other times is enough. Honestly I'm not all that interested in having a close relationship with her. I do not share much information about my life with her, as she is quickly ready to divulge information on other co-workers etc. If I want people to know, I will tell them. That's my choice to share, shouldn't be hers.
I can not cut her off, cos she will make working at the museum hell. Gossip, etc.
I assume she exaggerates often.
And I do not wish to quit because she forgot to take her meds. Could I have seen that being friendly at work would result in this, I wouldn't have been nice. How do you assess something like this before hand?
Recap: She was normal until I went to her house. Tricked me!!! lol
Do I make myself unavailable more often? Screen my calls? Stop replying to emails?
What I need from you readers are a few suggestions how to manage this.
In short, I honestly would not lose any sleep if this relationship ended.
I however do value my life and working in the museum drama free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess when I mentioned here that CC and I talked and all would be good in the world again, was a crock of shit.
I find the more she becomes the topic of my entries, makes me realize even more we have a problem here.
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Health Results, A New Couch, and Set Boundaries.
Since the July long weekend my body has been betraying me.
Each month a little more than the last. Enough so, that it warranted a visit to the doctors to take a deeper look at my over all health, based on the symptoms I'd been having and in short, feeling shitty all the time.
Lot's of blood work, x-rays, and stool samples, 3 weeks later, we have the results.
First of all, I'm thankful that the results are, although not great, it's not super bad.
My overall health is listed as follows:
*X-Rays revelled torn muscle in my elbow.
We're not doing anything about this yet. It will take time to heal. If the pain persists, I might qualify for cortisone shots twice a year, which will help immensely with the pain and allow my body to heal the elbow.
*My thyroid number is way off.
This explains some of my unstable bowels, the unbalance activity with my acne, my hair, and being extremely tired all the time. We're upping my thyroid meds considerably, and will have blood work to check my THS levels again in 8 weeks. This is very much a normal practice when monitoring any one's thyroid. It helps tweak the right amount of mgs dose you should receive.
*Bad Cholesterol is at the high end of normal. Booo
*Good Cholesterol is at the very low end of normal. Boooo
*Sugar levels are high. Actually only two points shy of becoming a type 2 diabetic.
*I'm class 2 obese. :( Ouch.
It's no secret I'm heavier now than I have ever been in my life. I've been fit my whole life until 10 years ago. My body handled the stress of a parent dying by gaining weight.
Of course, I contributed to this too. I became lazy,lost interest in everything.
As I got my mental health back in check (nervous breakdown when my mum passed away) I never got back into being active.
I must change a few diet practices right away, bring my sugar levels into check, and lose some weight. My doctor has suggested to aim for 40 lbs over the next year and a bit. Then we'll go for the other 30-40 lbs. I carry all my weight in my mid-section. For a woman over the age of 35, this increases my chances for all sorts of cardiac diseases.
I WILL BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ASAP!
As far as my cholesterol, I have to make some small changes that will have a huge effect.
*Switch from margarine to butter. I did not know margarine is pretty much only a few molecules from being plastic, and I put that stuff in my body! Same reason I never touch coffee mate. It has the same ingredients that hospitals use to make casts. ew.
*No cooking with oils, or sprays (I don't really use those anyways)
*Cut back on the cheese intake. :(
*No processed foods.
*Learn more about good/bad carbs and which ones turn into sugar.
*No more hot chocolate in the horrible coffee at work, to mask the horrible taste.
*Work out.
I will start with walking up the hill of death 4 days a week to start, then add weights to my routine at home. I have a gym membership but never go, and probably still won't go. Doing things that are fun, and distracting while getting a work out are more my thing. My active friends are going to be so happy!!!
These are all changes some people do naturally, others, like myself, will benefit from making these changes.
I'll keep you posted. Might be blogging about it more as I'll want to hear from you and your experiences, whether they're personal ones or of that of a friend going through the same issues. I LOVE food, so cutting back and making changes will probably be my biggest feat.
I moved in my new pullout loveseat today. Okay, actually I was completely useless in the process of moving it. It's effin heavy! And the bed kept popping out. :(
My friend RN moved this beast of a beauty 98% by himself. I helped. Only with maneuvering it onto a dolley so we could roll it most of the way, but that in itself was hard. We got it in my apt, and its much bigger than it looked at my friends house.
I promptly took a bath, then a two hour nap on the new couch. Bliss.
Earlier this week, I emailed the curator and archivist about a change of pace at the museum. We arranged to discuss my options Friday. The office space is super small, even if you whispered you'd still hear the conversation.
The meeting was great! Everything was well received. I'm excited about the new tasks I'll be assisting with.
Everything from painting the new gallery (in renos right now), data base cross referencing with the collections. Collection care (itemizing, cleaning artifacts, documenting, and storing items in proper acid free materials).
Victorian Teas over Christmas, decorating the House for Xmas (which is part of the museum) and a few more things. It will be nice to have a variety of tasks, rather than just documenting pictures into the data base for the rest of my volunteering career.
I went for drinks with CC after work, where she voiced her disappointment that I had not shared my interest in changing positions with her, and how she could have helped.
I informed her that I did not need her assistance, but thanked her for her concern.
We ended up having a long long talk, 4 hours long. And I laid down some boundaries in order for us to continue a healthier friendship.
She took it amazingly well. But most of all I got her to agree that our friendship and work relationship are to be kept separate. I don't mind hearing about the occasional venting, cos we all do it, but requested it be kept to only serious things.
So there you have it my devoted stalkers, that has been my last 24 hours.
Each month a little more than the last. Enough so, that it warranted a visit to the doctors to take a deeper look at my over all health, based on the symptoms I'd been having and in short, feeling shitty all the time.
Lot's of blood work, x-rays, and stool samples, 3 weeks later, we have the results.
First of all, I'm thankful that the results are, although not great, it's not super bad.
My overall health is listed as follows:
*X-Rays revelled torn muscle in my elbow.
We're not doing anything about this yet. It will take time to heal. If the pain persists, I might qualify for cortisone shots twice a year, which will help immensely with the pain and allow my body to heal the elbow.
*My thyroid number is way off.
This explains some of my unstable bowels, the unbalance activity with my acne, my hair, and being extremely tired all the time. We're upping my thyroid meds considerably, and will have blood work to check my THS levels again in 8 weeks. This is very much a normal practice when monitoring any one's thyroid. It helps tweak the right amount of mgs dose you should receive.
*Bad Cholesterol is at the high end of normal. Booo
*Good Cholesterol is at the very low end of normal. Boooo
*Sugar levels are high. Actually only two points shy of becoming a type 2 diabetic.
*I'm class 2 obese. :( Ouch.
It's no secret I'm heavier now than I have ever been in my life. I've been fit my whole life until 10 years ago. My body handled the stress of a parent dying by gaining weight.
Of course, I contributed to this too. I became lazy,lost interest in everything.
As I got my mental health back in check (nervous breakdown when my mum passed away) I never got back into being active.
I must change a few diet practices right away, bring my sugar levels into check, and lose some weight. My doctor has suggested to aim for 40 lbs over the next year and a bit. Then we'll go for the other 30-40 lbs. I carry all my weight in my mid-section. For a woman over the age of 35, this increases my chances for all sorts of cardiac diseases.
I WILL BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ASAP!
As far as my cholesterol, I have to make some small changes that will have a huge effect.
*Switch from margarine to butter. I did not know margarine is pretty much only a few molecules from being plastic, and I put that stuff in my body! Same reason I never touch coffee mate. It has the same ingredients that hospitals use to make casts. ew.
*No cooking with oils, or sprays (I don't really use those anyways)
*Cut back on the cheese intake. :(
*No processed foods.
*Learn more about good/bad carbs and which ones turn into sugar.
*No more hot chocolate in the horrible coffee at work, to mask the horrible taste.
*Work out.
I will start with walking up the hill of death 4 days a week to start, then add weights to my routine at home. I have a gym membership but never go, and probably still won't go. Doing things that are fun, and distracting while getting a work out are more my thing. My active friends are going to be so happy!!!
These are all changes some people do naturally, others, like myself, will benefit from making these changes.
I'll keep you posted. Might be blogging about it more as I'll want to hear from you and your experiences, whether they're personal ones or of that of a friend going through the same issues. I LOVE food, so cutting back and making changes will probably be my biggest feat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend RN moved this beast of a beauty 98% by himself. I helped. Only with maneuvering it onto a dolley so we could roll it most of the way, but that in itself was hard. We got it in my apt, and its much bigger than it looked at my friends house.
I promptly took a bath, then a two hour nap on the new couch. Bliss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earlier this week, I emailed the curator and archivist about a change of pace at the museum. We arranged to discuss my options Friday. The office space is super small, even if you whispered you'd still hear the conversation.
The meeting was great! Everything was well received. I'm excited about the new tasks I'll be assisting with.
Everything from painting the new gallery (in renos right now), data base cross referencing with the collections. Collection care (itemizing, cleaning artifacts, documenting, and storing items in proper acid free materials).
Victorian Teas over Christmas, decorating the House for Xmas (which is part of the museum) and a few more things. It will be nice to have a variety of tasks, rather than just documenting pictures into the data base for the rest of my volunteering career.
I went for drinks with CC after work, where she voiced her disappointment that I had not shared my interest in changing positions with her, and how she could have helped.
I informed her that I did not need her assistance, but thanked her for her concern.
We ended up having a long long talk, 4 hours long. And I laid down some boundaries in order for us to continue a healthier friendship.
She took it amazingly well. But most of all I got her to agree that our friendship and work relationship are to be kept separate. I don't mind hearing about the occasional venting, cos we all do it, but requested it be kept to only serious things.
So there you have it my devoted stalkers, that has been my last 24 hours.
Friday, 19 November 2010
Smacks Head Into Desk - Repeatedly.
CC the girl I work with at my volunteer position is acting up again.
The way here brain works, well, confuses me. Really.
Completely divulged too much information about our co-workers. Tells me about an apparent borderline harassment relationship she has with my immediate supervisor there. Which btw the way I think there is a whole lot more to the story than she lets on, but I'll let her believe that she's the smarter one of us.
They way BB treats her and the little things he does for her are probably and more likely the result of a one time fling between the two of them.
However his behaviour, lack of communication, and lack of general work courtesy has made her uncomfortable. She's gone through the proper chain of command to have the issues she's having with BB addressed. Today she had an appointment with the cities HR department. Upon asking her how it went, she claims she can not discuss it.
Seriously?
Not a, "it went well", or "good"or, "meh". Any would have sufficed.
Instead I get, "I can not discuss it". I don't need the details, I just like to know if it went well.
After all I typed out the list of complaints she had so she had it front and centre and wouldn't forget anything. Ya, I complain about her, but she was in need, (extremely high anxiety issues) so I helped out when asked.
Shit, the girl tells me every little detail about people I shouldn't have the privilege of knowing about, now decides to keep quiet now? I wonder if it did not turn out in her favour and she's keeping mute to save face?
She emailed me yesterday saying, "oh I've got a good one for ya, this will make your day!!!"
Ok? It only turned out that a friend of mine who runs a market near by, emailed the archivist about borrowing some of our costumes for the xmas market. Ok, I'm not sure why this is making my day?
She was bent and confused as to why MY friend would email both the curator and the archivist about this and not her, the costumes coordinator.
*smack head into desk*
Are you serious? I had to explain to her like a child, that my friend and I do not discuss who I work with etc, and since I only volunteer there, she probably did not see it appropriate to ask me to give out information about staff that might not be public information. I also explained that BB and her have talked previously in regards to the house she bought, and that is her only formal contact. (I now have a copy of the email) JD asks BB to forward the email to whomever would be able to assist her. And reminded her that being the costume coordinator was an in-house position, not a public one. So why would ANYONE know to contact her?
So read the fucking email slower. Still not sure how this is funny, or warrants a "got one for ya, this will make your day". JD is conducting business.
This is the typical day-to-day saga's I deal with when it comes to CC. I do have to tell her to relax, it's not a personal attack. Which she implies all the time. In short, she feels non-existent among her co workers and her role within the community. Unfortunately that is not something I can help her with.
I'm off to the museum right now.... wish me luck.
The way here brain works, well, confuses me. Really.
Completely divulged too much information about our co-workers. Tells me about an apparent borderline harassment relationship she has with my immediate supervisor there. Which btw the way I think there is a whole lot more to the story than she lets on, but I'll let her believe that she's the smarter one of us.
They way BB treats her and the little things he does for her are probably and more likely the result of a one time fling between the two of them.
However his behaviour, lack of communication, and lack of general work courtesy has made her uncomfortable. She's gone through the proper chain of command to have the issues she's having with BB addressed. Today she had an appointment with the cities HR department. Upon asking her how it went, she claims she can not discuss it.
Seriously?
Not a, "it went well", or "good"or, "meh". Any would have sufficed.
Instead I get, "I can not discuss it". I don't need the details, I just like to know if it went well.
After all I typed out the list of complaints she had so she had it front and centre and wouldn't forget anything. Ya, I complain about her, but she was in need, (extremely high anxiety issues) so I helped out when asked.
Shit, the girl tells me every little detail about people I shouldn't have the privilege of knowing about, now decides to keep quiet now? I wonder if it did not turn out in her favour and she's keeping mute to save face?
She emailed me yesterday saying, "oh I've got a good one for ya, this will make your day!!!"
Ok? It only turned out that a friend of mine who runs a market near by, emailed the archivist about borrowing some of our costumes for the xmas market. Ok, I'm not sure why this is making my day?
She was bent and confused as to why MY friend would email both the curator and the archivist about this and not her, the costumes coordinator.
*smack head into desk*
Are you serious? I had to explain to her like a child, that my friend and I do not discuss who I work with etc, and since I only volunteer there, she probably did not see it appropriate to ask me to give out information about staff that might not be public information. I also explained that BB and her have talked previously in regards to the house she bought, and that is her only formal contact. (I now have a copy of the email) JD asks BB to forward the email to whomever would be able to assist her. And reminded her that being the costume coordinator was an in-house position, not a public one. So why would ANYONE know to contact her?
So read the fucking email slower. Still not sure how this is funny, or warrants a "got one for ya, this will make your day". JD is conducting business.
This is the typical day-to-day saga's I deal with when it comes to CC. I do have to tell her to relax, it's not a personal attack. Which she implies all the time. In short, she feels non-existent among her co workers and her role within the community. Unfortunately that is not something I can help her with.
I'm off to the museum right now.... wish me luck.
Monday, 25 October 2010
I Attract Da Crazies.
I thought I left the memo to all the crazies in my last phase of building character, not to follow me here.
Alas they are crazy, so following simple instructions not to bother me in this new phase of my life would go unheard.
It starts with one, and while I believe I can stomp this one out and put her back in line, I'm not sure HOW.
It's become complicated. 1) I work with her at the museum. 2) Aside from her having no filter, I like her. 3) This will not be the first time she's run into this scenario.
She's (um we'll have to think of a name to call her - CC) highly educated, funny at times, quirky, and again, has no filter. Which is part of the reason I find her amusing. She worked hard at befriending me early on, and being painfully shy at first among some interesting characters I work with, I accepted. Never did I think our getting along at work, would cross over to outside of work. Boy did it.
First mistake, if you want to call it that, we went for drinks after work one night.
I learned more about the people I work with than I should be privileged too. I haven't formed opinions yet, however I'm weary about getting to know them on a more personal level. While I sat listening to all the gossip she'd obviously been dying to share with anyone, I started to make mental notes quickly not to share anything with her that I wouldn't say out loud for everyone to hear.
Some weeks pass, and I learn more every time. I've shared a few things, but as above, it's nothing I wouldn't say out loud for fear she could be sharing my infor with others. In addition it would be frown upon if others (my boss who is in love with her, she claims) found out we were such good friends. (um what? we're not good friends, we're work acquaintces). For all I know about the history they have together might be true (one sided story) as he is socially inept, I could care less.
As a volunteer, I receive emails from the curator (only normal person there from what I can tell) with invites for volunteers to help out, join dinners etc. This is why I volunteer there, to get to know as many people as I can and feel like I'm part of something that is contributing to a bigger picture.
My second mistake. Mentioning to CC while chatting on msn that I was also chatting with our curator too.
"WHAT?" was her first response. I explained about the emails I get as a volunteer et certa.
Now you must understand that our curator is hot. Our age and hot! In a committed long term relationship but HOT. So of course we crush on him a little. My crush on him is that it's nice to have something to look at from time to time. CC on the other hand is obsessed. I've sat for hours on end over time listening to her describe how good he looks in certain things etc. It was fun at first, but seriously, go outside and find something else to chat about.
In the past few months, I've started to notice her opinion is stronger on certain topics when it comes to me taking on more responsibilities at work. And her trying to constantly remind me that I'm a volunteer, not an employee, and by attending the volunteer dinners, and workshops will not get me liked by the other volunteers. I keep my mouth shut and observe her craziness start to take hold. I know exactly what my position is and where I stand.
My third mistake. Spent the night at her house this past weekend.
Her highschool b/f is coming for a visit and she of course is stoked, an emotional wreck with giddiness.
We grab stuff for dinner and drinks. Her place is beautiful and she pays thru the nose for it.
In all her excitement she's telling me all the things she has to do, but is only putting around and not accomplishing anything. I clean her kitchen (ew) and her floors. Thinking this will help her eliminate her nervousness about the weekend ahead.
We're having a good time which leads to the following morning, until she changes ths subject mid-conversation. "Do you believe in God?" In shock, I blink a few times, replying with "Three things I do not discuss, politics, religion and money", thinking that would be enough.
But it wasn't she pressed on. I explained I did once, however after the passing of my parents, I became mad at God and the Universe and my opinion was more along the lines of I believe in right and wrong, do not do unto others etc...... She flipped out. In her rant that God can not exists etc, I stopped listening... blah blah blah not cos I don't value other peoples views, but I never appreciate an opinion being shoved down my throat then asked why I can't see it there way. I tried my best to diffuse the increasingly hot topic with mention of "Oh look at the time, don't you have to get ready for work?"
As we're close to leaving, she randomly asks if I think her bathroom needed to be cleaned. (oh it did) I asked her to be more specific. She asked particularly about under neath the toilet seat itself. (oh it did), getting tired of the inceasingly weirdness, I said yes, the bathroom and the toilet were disgusting and really needed a cleaning.
The last straw. She blamed the mess of her bathroom and toilet on me. Cos I had used it too. (blink).
I quickly spoke up cos I'd had enough of this. "I may have used your bathroom but the cleanliness in questions wasn't a result of my usage, it had clearly been neglected for sometime." With no apologies or room for argument, I grabbed my bags and waited by the door.
Not a whole lot was said on the way home, aside from what now seemed liked forced politeness and thanking each other for the good times etc. She then asked for gas money for driving me home. Really, are you kidding me? You have to drive this distances to get to work regardless if I was in the car or not!...is what I thought to myself. But since I was hostage in her car for another 20 mins and did not need her to go off on a rant about God again or some other rant etc, I said sure and gave her $5.
At this point I can do without the $5.
As you can see I have to handle this one with gentle ease. All the little things I've learned and what I thought was funny in the beginning of our acquaintanceship has made me a little afraid to hang out with her further. To the point I may step back from volunteering all together for a bit, as I can foresee how uncomfortable she might make it. All the stories about how the coworkers and her do not get along etc, have less and less to do with them and more to do with her reactions.
From what I can gather, I'm hers. I'm her little pet that she probably thinks she can mould into what she thinks the museum needs and that without her I couldn't succeed. In reality, she needs people to dislike me more than they dislike her in order to feel appreciated at her job. Am I being narcissistic or am I on track with this one?
I need helpful suggestions and/or solutions to this asap, as I work there every Friday.
To start, I'll conveniently have plans already after work on Friday's and weekends for a while.
If all else fails, I'll talk to the curator and the my boss about working on days she's not there. (of course I'll make it sound like its due to my work schedule etc) and if that fails, then I'll have to talk with the curator directly and explain the situation and the mistake I made letting it cross the boundaries from professional courtesy to personal issues.
Alas they are crazy, so following simple instructions not to bother me in this new phase of my life would go unheard.
It starts with one, and while I believe I can stomp this one out and put her back in line, I'm not sure HOW.
It's become complicated. 1) I work with her at the museum. 2) Aside from her having no filter, I like her. 3) This will not be the first time she's run into this scenario.
She's (um we'll have to think of a name to call her - CC) highly educated, funny at times, quirky, and again, has no filter. Which is part of the reason I find her amusing. She worked hard at befriending me early on, and being painfully shy at first among some interesting characters I work with, I accepted. Never did I think our getting along at work, would cross over to outside of work. Boy did it.
First mistake, if you want to call it that, we went for drinks after work one night.
I learned more about the people I work with than I should be privileged too. I haven't formed opinions yet, however I'm weary about getting to know them on a more personal level. While I sat listening to all the gossip she'd obviously been dying to share with anyone, I started to make mental notes quickly not to share anything with her that I wouldn't say out loud for everyone to hear.
Some weeks pass, and I learn more every time. I've shared a few things, but as above, it's nothing I wouldn't say out loud for fear she could be sharing my infor with others. In addition it would be frown upon if others (my boss who is in love with her, she claims) found out we were such good friends. (um what? we're not good friends, we're work acquaintces). For all I know about the history they have together might be true (one sided story) as he is socially inept, I could care less.
As a volunteer, I receive emails from the curator (only normal person there from what I can tell) with invites for volunteers to help out, join dinners etc. This is why I volunteer there, to get to know as many people as I can and feel like I'm part of something that is contributing to a bigger picture.
My second mistake. Mentioning to CC while chatting on msn that I was also chatting with our curator too.
"WHAT?" was her first response. I explained about the emails I get as a volunteer et certa.
Now you must understand that our curator is hot. Our age and hot! In a committed long term relationship but HOT. So of course we crush on him a little. My crush on him is that it's nice to have something to look at from time to time. CC on the other hand is obsessed. I've sat for hours on end over time listening to her describe how good he looks in certain things etc. It was fun at first, but seriously, go outside and find something else to chat about.
In the past few months, I've started to notice her opinion is stronger on certain topics when it comes to me taking on more responsibilities at work. And her trying to constantly remind me that I'm a volunteer, not an employee, and by attending the volunteer dinners, and workshops will not get me liked by the other volunteers. I keep my mouth shut and observe her craziness start to take hold. I know exactly what my position is and where I stand.
My third mistake. Spent the night at her house this past weekend.
Her highschool b/f is coming for a visit and she of course is stoked, an emotional wreck with giddiness.
We grab stuff for dinner and drinks. Her place is beautiful and she pays thru the nose for it.
In all her excitement she's telling me all the things she has to do, but is only putting around and not accomplishing anything. I clean her kitchen (ew) and her floors. Thinking this will help her eliminate her nervousness about the weekend ahead.
We're having a good time which leads to the following morning, until she changes ths subject mid-conversation. "Do you believe in God?" In shock, I blink a few times, replying with "Three things I do not discuss, politics, religion and money", thinking that would be enough.
But it wasn't she pressed on. I explained I did once, however after the passing of my parents, I became mad at God and the Universe and my opinion was more along the lines of I believe in right and wrong, do not do unto others etc...... She flipped out. In her rant that God can not exists etc, I stopped listening... blah blah blah not cos I don't value other peoples views, but I never appreciate an opinion being shoved down my throat then asked why I can't see it there way. I tried my best to diffuse the increasingly hot topic with mention of "Oh look at the time, don't you have to get ready for work?"
As we're close to leaving, she randomly asks if I think her bathroom needed to be cleaned. (oh it did) I asked her to be more specific. She asked particularly about under neath the toilet seat itself. (oh it did), getting tired of the inceasingly weirdness, I said yes, the bathroom and the toilet were disgusting and really needed a cleaning.
The last straw. She blamed the mess of her bathroom and toilet on me. Cos I had used it too. (blink).
I quickly spoke up cos I'd had enough of this. "I may have used your bathroom but the cleanliness in questions wasn't a result of my usage, it had clearly been neglected for sometime." With no apologies or room for argument, I grabbed my bags and waited by the door.
Not a whole lot was said on the way home, aside from what now seemed liked forced politeness and thanking each other for the good times etc. She then asked for gas money for driving me home. Really, are you kidding me? You have to drive this distances to get to work regardless if I was in the car or not!...is what I thought to myself. But since I was hostage in her car for another 20 mins and did not need her to go off on a rant about God again or some other rant etc, I said sure and gave her $5.
At this point I can do without the $5.
As you can see I have to handle this one with gentle ease. All the little things I've learned and what I thought was funny in the beginning of our acquaintanceship has made me a little afraid to hang out with her further. To the point I may step back from volunteering all together for a bit, as I can foresee how uncomfortable she might make it. All the stories about how the coworkers and her do not get along etc, have less and less to do with them and more to do with her reactions.
From what I can gather, I'm hers. I'm her little pet that she probably thinks she can mould into what she thinks the museum needs and that without her I couldn't succeed. In reality, she needs people to dislike me more than they dislike her in order to feel appreciated at her job. Am I being narcissistic or am I on track with this one?
I need helpful suggestions and/or solutions to this asap, as I work there every Friday.
To start, I'll conveniently have plans already after work on Friday's and weekends for a while.
If all else fails, I'll talk to the curator and the my boss about working on days she's not there. (of course I'll make it sound like its due to my work schedule etc) and if that fails, then I'll have to talk with the curator directly and explain the situation and the mistake I made letting it cross the boundaries from professional courtesy to personal issues.
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