.. I'm still reading all of you. I just dont comment, at all. I have to work on that.
:)
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Guilty Much?
I had a small meltdown over the weekend, which resulted in posting some snarky, although somewhat generic status updates, about being an option, not the priority.
What made me laugh, were the amount of people texting me, wondering if it was about them. Guilty much?
Of course it all had to do with a boy. But I'm over it, for now.
Still, hello friends? If you feel the need to ask if a statement is about you, you probably fall into the category of people in which it was written for, and directed at.
What made me laugh, were the amount of people texting me, wondering if it was about them. Guilty much?
Of course it all had to do with a boy. But I'm over it, for now.
Still, hello friends? If you feel the need to ask if a statement is about you, you probably fall into the category of people in which it was written for, and directed at.
UPDATE: Mammograms, Ultrasounds, Lumps, Cysts, Duct Ectasia
Where to begin?
A month ago the roommate was exercising in the living room. As I went to walk past him, he had extended his arm, and 100% accidentally hit me square in the boob. So hard it felt as though he hit the breast bone.
Upon dropping everything, I cried. Of course. He felt horrible. It's one thing to flick my boob as I walk by, but he didn't see me coming, and ended up sore for a few minutes.
A week or so later, I had an itchy nipple. Only to discover a greyish/green discharge weeping from my nipple. ummmm, ya, of course I freaked out. Googled the crap out of that! As it turns out, if you're leaking any discharge from your nipples (hey men, this includes you too!), you're to see the doctor.
A diagnosis of a infected duct ectasia, a weeks worth of a very high dose of a penicillin, well rounded enough to treat a wide range of different infections, a diagnostic mammography & ultrasound was scheduled, I was set, and on my way. Everything seemed apparently fine until two weeks after I finished the meds, my nipple started weeping again. Still green. :( Thankfully my follow up appointment was only a few days away.
Nothing much exciting happens at the follow-up, aside from the GP making note of things. He suggested that the duct is most likely going to be removed. When these things happen, they'll just continue. I'm okay with that... until I googled how they remove it. ugh.
July 3rd. I had my mammography. The techs were awesome! We made each other laugh as she squished my boobs from different angles. I was told to sit in the waiting room for my ultrasound. La...la...la....laaa....
an hour later, it started becoming discouraging as I watched 5 women come and go completely. Finally I'm called.
Ultrasounds are nothing. Kind of cool to see the inside of your boob. She explained what were muscles, shadows etc. I'm there for a good 30 mins, thinking we're done, she mentions she just has to have the oncologist review the pictures before I leave, in case we have to take more etc... apparently my ducts are small and hard to find.She returns after what seems a good solid 10 minutes. She informs me they found something suspect in the mammogram.
I went for a infected duct, and found two cysts, and a lump. Great.
The tech of course couldn't tell me if they appeared to be solid or fluid etc. Surprised I couldn't feel the lump. I could see it on the screen, she had me press the area...nope. I've spend the last two days playing with my boob and I still can't find the damn thing! The oncologist is happy with the second set of pics they've taken, and I'm on my way. 2.5 hours later.
The tech wouldn't let me take any pictures, although said to talk to the girls up front, and I can get a copy of them. I'll have a copy of the pics, and report of findings, and recommendations. I'll have that, before my appointment with my GP on July 14th, 2014. When I find out when they'll remove the duct, and if I'll be having a biopsy of the cysts and lump. I'll post them here once I have them.
I'm not freaking out...yet. I've shared this infor with a few people. The women are great! The few men I've told, did not handle it well at all. Especially the roommate. He felt he caused this.
Spent some time explaining to him, this is all a blessing in disguise. I mean, had this not happened, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor. A mammogram wouldn't have been ordered. And we wouldn't have found the cyst or the lump. Should this turn out to be something unfortunate, who knows how long it would have sat there, undetected, doing whatever it is it may be doing...... for who knows how long? Blessing in disguise!!! I had a small cry after we ended our chat, just from the overwhelming concern, and of how much he does care.
The ex also didn't handle it well, letting out a big shouting "What!? Are you going to lose your boob?!!"
He had a tone of questions, which is great, however, all I could say is, "If this turns out to be something, I'll do what I have to do, to reduce the chances of anything spreading etc... worse case scenario".
While I sit here saying I'm not freaking out... I did manage to have a small "what if" moment. Took a deep breath, and just let it go. It's now Monday, and at the moment, I've read the crap out of the different biopsies. What to expect, will it hurt etc... That has me more freaked out at the moment.
That is it for now. I'll update you all more later. When I know, you'll know, and we'll go from there.
UPDATE JULY 29, 2014.....
Everything is benign. Woot woot!
I got back in a month to the family doctor for the weeping nipple. If it's still weeping, we'll remove the duct.
I go back for a follow up ultrasound in 6 months, to measure if they've changed in size.
If they have, in any way, shape, or form, even 1mm, I'll have all 3 cysts, and 1 lump removed.
A month ago the roommate was exercising in the living room. As I went to walk past him, he had extended his arm, and 100% accidentally hit me square in the boob. So hard it felt as though he hit the breast bone.
Upon dropping everything, I cried. Of course. He felt horrible. It's one thing to flick my boob as I walk by, but he didn't see me coming, and ended up sore for a few minutes.
A week or so later, I had an itchy nipple. Only to discover a greyish/green discharge weeping from my nipple. ummmm, ya, of course I freaked out. Googled the crap out of that! As it turns out, if you're leaking any discharge from your nipples (hey men, this includes you too!), you're to see the doctor.
A diagnosis of a infected duct ectasia, a weeks worth of a very high dose of a penicillin, well rounded enough to treat a wide range of different infections, a diagnostic mammography & ultrasound was scheduled, I was set, and on my way. Everything seemed apparently fine until two weeks after I finished the meds, my nipple started weeping again. Still green. :( Thankfully my follow up appointment was only a few days away.
Nothing much exciting happens at the follow-up, aside from the GP making note of things. He suggested that the duct is most likely going to be removed. When these things happen, they'll just continue. I'm okay with that... until I googled how they remove it. ugh.
July 3rd. I had my mammography. The techs were awesome! We made each other laugh as she squished my boobs from different angles. I was told to sit in the waiting room for my ultrasound. La...la...la....laaa....
an hour later, it started becoming discouraging as I watched 5 women come and go completely. Finally I'm called.
Ultrasounds are nothing. Kind of cool to see the inside of your boob. She explained what were muscles, shadows etc. I'm there for a good 30 mins, thinking we're done, she mentions she just has to have the oncologist review the pictures before I leave, in case we have to take more etc... apparently my ducts are small and hard to find.She returns after what seems a good solid 10 minutes. She informs me they found something suspect in the mammogram.
I went for a infected duct, and found two cysts, and a lump. Great.
The tech of course couldn't tell me if they appeared to be solid or fluid etc. Surprised I couldn't feel the lump. I could see it on the screen, she had me press the area...nope. I've spend the last two days playing with my boob and I still can't find the damn thing! The oncologist is happy with the second set of pics they've taken, and I'm on my way. 2.5 hours later.
The tech wouldn't let me take any pictures, although said to talk to the girls up front, and I can get a copy of them. I'll have a copy of the pics, and report of findings, and recommendations. I'll have that, before my appointment with my GP on July 14th, 2014. When I find out when they'll remove the duct, and if I'll be having a biopsy of the cysts and lump. I'll post them here once I have them.
I'm not freaking out...yet. I've shared this infor with a few people. The women are great! The few men I've told, did not handle it well at all. Especially the roommate. He felt he caused this.
Spent some time explaining to him, this is all a blessing in disguise. I mean, had this not happened, I wouldn't have gone to the doctor. A mammogram wouldn't have been ordered. And we wouldn't have found the cyst or the lump. Should this turn out to be something unfortunate, who knows how long it would have sat there, undetected, doing whatever it is it may be doing...... for who knows how long? Blessing in disguise!!! I had a small cry after we ended our chat, just from the overwhelming concern, and of how much he does care.
The ex also didn't handle it well, letting out a big shouting "What!? Are you going to lose your boob?!!"
He had a tone of questions, which is great, however, all I could say is, "If this turns out to be something, I'll do what I have to do, to reduce the chances of anything spreading etc... worse case scenario".
While I sit here saying I'm not freaking out... I did manage to have a small "what if" moment. Took a deep breath, and just let it go. It's now Monday, and at the moment, I've read the crap out of the different biopsies. What to expect, will it hurt etc... That has me more freaked out at the moment.
That is it for now. I'll update you all more later. When I know, you'll know, and we'll go from there.
Everything is benign. Woot woot!
I got back in a month to the family doctor for the weeping nipple. If it's still weeping, we'll remove the duct.
I go back for a follow up ultrasound in 6 months, to measure if they've changed in size.
If they have, in any way, shape, or form, even 1mm, I'll have all 3 cysts, and 1 lump removed.
Sunday, 13 July 2014
Weekend Camping Shenanigans.... I wish
My weekend was suppose to be full of laughter from both kids, and adults. All while relaxing and sitting in the river all zen like for 48 hours, and free of all outside worldly influences... (electronic gadgets)
It ends right there.
From the moment we arrived at the campsite where a group of people I'm not close with, have been set up etc already for a week. The yelling commenced in less than 10 mins. Haven't even unpacked the car yet.
The worse parenting I'd have ever witness, and drama unfold. I almost hoped on a Greyhound bus back to the city before the end of the first night.
The river was amazing, Very shallow, but had a strong current.
All day and the night before, I've heard parents in our group yell at their kids for the dumbest things. The kids were great, doing what kids do. So that annoyed me that they were being yelled at. Myself and another spoke up a few times...
The last straw happened, and I lost my shit completely on one woman who did not watch her child all weekend! He's 3. has a slight developmental challenges, and the attention span of an excited fruit fly, well because, HE"S 3!!!!
He lost a water shoe in the river.. I chased after it, and it went away too fast. Trying to console this little guy that it was only a shoe, yes maybe his favourite one, but only a shoe, he turned and tried to run after it, almost being swept downstream himself, had I not been standing right beside him...
He goes to tell him Mummy he lost his shoe, visibly upset. She starts screaaaaaaaaaming at him. "I told you not to wear those shoes in the river yesterday! see what happens when you don't listen?" ....and I mean screaming at him!!!!
Did I mention the shoes he had on, were water shoes?!!!!
It was embarrassing. Myself and another camper are still in the river saying.. Listen, its a shoe, not the end of the world. Then all hell broke out..
"JS! DON"T EVEN!! I'M HIS MOTHER!!!...."
I looked at the camper beside me, asking, is this really happening? Fuck this!
My reply: as calmly as I could, cos I was about to take her fucking head off...
"If you're his mother, then maybe you should get your ass into this water and monitor your own child rather than sitting with your back to the water drinking for the last 3 hours! And had we not been in the water when he lost his WATER shoe, you might not have a 3 yr old to yell at right now!"..... I went and sat back down in my chair a few feet away in the river. Her bestfriend also up at the campsite, was also telling her, it's just a shoe..
When the mother came down to apologize, I walked away.. The host of the campsite who invited us all, went off on her... this is all quite quiet but I'm close enough to hear it..
"Your a bitch! if JS hadn't hussled to catch the shoe, she might not have been close enough to grab your kid in time, and that's how you talk to her? I'm tired of this bullshit, your drama and all the fucking yelling". It was none stop yelling of "don't do this/that, get down! Stop that!1...2...3..." and no follow thru, all from sitting in a chair eating adult brownies, and drinking. What a relaxing weekend so far.
We've been at the campsite less than 5 hours.
good times!
Being the adults we are, we all push it back, move forward making the best of our time left there.
The host of the site, had been gracious enough to let me sleep in her kid free zone trailer. Arrangements that were made before we even got there etc.. So of course we're chatting, getting to know one another, then we both discover we have people in common. My best friend LC House Guest, and her ex, the one that beat her to a pulp a few years ago. He's the host's friend.
Greaaaaaaaaat. We're hanging together, and friends with parties at war. We quickly make the pack not to discuss them, as there are two sides to every story. Yet continues to tell me all sorts of things he says etc.
I listen, scoffing at her a few times at the things she said and didn't reply.
Bedtime... I check my phone in the privacy of the trailer, to have my phone blown up from msgs from my best friend LC. Apparently the host has been reporting to the physco ex of my every move, none of which is relevant to anything going on between them. According to LC, the host told her ex, that I'm doing all the talking, and spewing their dirty laundry to the whole campground. Wow. I guess we're 12 again.
I did no such thing.
When i got home today, LC and I had a chat. I told her the things I'd heard and laughed it off cos the things said would never happen in a million years!
Silence......
As it turned out. Some of the infor I received was true. Disgusted, insulted, appalled, slapped in the face embarrassed. That not only was a few things true, but that I had to hear it from one of HIS FRIENDS! I defended her! Only to find out its true.
I'm done.
All the support, crying, research was for nothing.
LC is trying to convince me its a rare occasion, but yes things have happened etc. and they've found a common ground for the best interest of the kids. .....that's fine, until he tries to kill you again.
I have a wide range of mixed emotions going on. I'm sad, mad, and done giving a shit.
Not only was this not kept private, it was shared with all 11 adults at the campground. All who've been texting and FBing me for more infor. All of which I've advised is none of their business.
Needless to say, I wont be hanging out with this group of people ever again.
The drama put teenage girls to shame.
No more camping, bbq's, just hanging out with his group. Gawd!
Silver lining.. my life is way more normal and reasonably drama free than I had imagined.
It ends right there.
From the moment we arrived at the campsite where a group of people I'm not close with, have been set up etc already for a week. The yelling commenced in less than 10 mins. Haven't even unpacked the car yet.
The worse parenting I'd have ever witness, and drama unfold. I almost hoped on a Greyhound bus back to the city before the end of the first night.
The river was amazing, Very shallow, but had a strong current.
All day and the night before, I've heard parents in our group yell at their kids for the dumbest things. The kids were great, doing what kids do. So that annoyed me that they were being yelled at. Myself and another spoke up a few times...
The last straw happened, and I lost my shit completely on one woman who did not watch her child all weekend! He's 3. has a slight developmental challenges, and the attention span of an excited fruit fly, well because, HE"S 3!!!!
He lost a water shoe in the river.. I chased after it, and it went away too fast. Trying to console this little guy that it was only a shoe, yes maybe his favourite one, but only a shoe, he turned and tried to run after it, almost being swept downstream himself, had I not been standing right beside him...
He goes to tell him Mummy he lost his shoe, visibly upset. She starts screaaaaaaaaaming at him. "I told you not to wear those shoes in the river yesterday! see what happens when you don't listen?" ....and I mean screaming at him!!!!
Did I mention the shoes he had on, were water shoes?!!!!
It was embarrassing. Myself and another camper are still in the river saying.. Listen, its a shoe, not the end of the world. Then all hell broke out..
"JS! DON"T EVEN!! I'M HIS MOTHER!!!...."
I looked at the camper beside me, asking, is this really happening? Fuck this!
My reply: as calmly as I could, cos I was about to take her fucking head off...
"If you're his mother, then maybe you should get your ass into this water and monitor your own child rather than sitting with your back to the water drinking for the last 3 hours! And had we not been in the water when he lost his WATER shoe, you might not have a 3 yr old to yell at right now!"..... I went and sat back down in my chair a few feet away in the river. Her bestfriend also up at the campsite, was also telling her, it's just a shoe..
When the mother came down to apologize, I walked away.. The host of the campsite who invited us all, went off on her... this is all quite quiet but I'm close enough to hear it..
"Your a bitch! if JS hadn't hussled to catch the shoe, she might not have been close enough to grab your kid in time, and that's how you talk to her? I'm tired of this bullshit, your drama and all the fucking yelling". It was none stop yelling of "don't do this/that, get down! Stop that!1...2...3..." and no follow thru, all from sitting in a chair eating adult brownies, and drinking. What a relaxing weekend so far.
We've been at the campsite less than 5 hours.
good times!
Being the adults we are, we all push it back, move forward making the best of our time left there.
The host of the site, had been gracious enough to let me sleep in her kid free zone trailer. Arrangements that were made before we even got there etc.. So of course we're chatting, getting to know one another, then we both discover we have people in common. My best friend LC House Guest, and her ex, the one that beat her to a pulp a few years ago. He's the host's friend.
Greaaaaaaaaat. We're hanging together, and friends with parties at war. We quickly make the pack not to discuss them, as there are two sides to every story. Yet continues to tell me all sorts of things he says etc.
I listen, scoffing at her a few times at the things she said and didn't reply.
Bedtime... I check my phone in the privacy of the trailer, to have my phone blown up from msgs from my best friend LC. Apparently the host has been reporting to the physco ex of my every move, none of which is relevant to anything going on between them. According to LC, the host told her ex, that I'm doing all the talking, and spewing their dirty laundry to the whole campground. Wow. I guess we're 12 again.
I did no such thing.
When i got home today, LC and I had a chat. I told her the things I'd heard and laughed it off cos the things said would never happen in a million years!
Silence......
As it turned out. Some of the infor I received was true. Disgusted, insulted, appalled, slapped in the face embarrassed. That not only was a few things true, but that I had to hear it from one of HIS FRIENDS! I defended her! Only to find out its true.
I'm done.
All the support, crying, research was for nothing.
LC is trying to convince me its a rare occasion, but yes things have happened etc. and they've found a common ground for the best interest of the kids. .....that's fine, until he tries to kill you again.
I have a wide range of mixed emotions going on. I'm sad, mad, and done giving a shit.
Not only was this not kept private, it was shared with all 11 adults at the campground. All who've been texting and FBing me for more infor. All of which I've advised is none of their business.
Needless to say, I wont be hanging out with this group of people ever again.
The drama put teenage girls to shame.
No more camping, bbq's, just hanging out with his group. Gawd!
Silver lining.. my life is way more normal and reasonably drama free than I had imagined.
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