Things are pretty uneventful around my life right now. Which is nice.
The Douche has ceased with the text messaging for the time being.
The roommate is working out.....
Life has just gone back to normal. For a bit there, it was very social. Lots of eating out, and spending money. Fortunately, it was on stuff I "needed" not want. I had some control. But now I'm broke. lol
Accutane is still kicking my ass. I started up Yoga again, and after 3 classes had to quit again. I was feeling okay, but have done something to my shoulders and neck, which has landed me back in physio. :( Being fragile with bone density while on accutane is sad. I know what 80 yr little ladies must feel like. It's emotional to feel okay, then move and feel like bones could break.
I have a follow up in two week with my dermatologist, and I'm really hoping she calls it a day. I want to be off this drug. I can stop at any time,(no one is holding a gun to my head) though I really want to be past the point of the acne going back to the way it was.
I think I am. Maybe one.more.month, but that is it. Not sure my body can take more. Once I'm off it, I'll be upping the calcium again. I'm still taking it, however not every meal and I forget. So really, I'm taking it once a day instead of the recommended 3 times day. I've already broke the two rules I must abide by. Sans sex and alcohol. Both of which I've had in the last two weeks. I'm done. I'm so ready to be off this drug.
Minor drama. Nothing life altering.
....Another male friend who has a live in g/f has been moping cos I won't sleep with him. Wtf? Dude you're in a committed relationship. That means, no sexting, no inappropriate conversations, no rehashing the past affairs we've had when we were both single. It's all cheating.
Well. That wasn't received well at all. I was met with a text message full of mean words, pouting and minor name calling. Can it even be minor if you're trying to belittle someone for having morals and trying to stay consistent?
Until this moment, I liked this guy. He was fun, always up for anything. Now, I'm afraid, I have to say goodbye if he can't respect my decision. What he does with his relationship is his business. Don't turn into a bitch when I decline to be part of it. I've have enough male bitches in my life, I do not need another one thanks. Just got rid of the last one.
I asked him as nicely as I could to stop acting like a little girl. And if he didn't like or respect my decision to not be part of an affair with him, then we might have to rethink where we stand as friends. "Whatever", was his only response. I've kept the msg's for reasons to protect myself at the moment.
Should he choose to be a bigger douche about it, I'll contact the g/f directly,(we have a few mutual friends) and kindly let her know how I'm being propositioned by her b/f of 4 years... I would hate to go that route. I'm trying to live by the whole "do unto others" etc.. cos I know I'd want someone to respect the sisterhood enough to tell me my man is a cheating whore. Gawd knows it didn't happen in the past. But that's a story for another time, that really, doesn't need to be rehashed. Moving forward. I still know where/when/how to pick my battles. That's never been an issue.
So that my stalkers, is the only little drama I have at the moment. I say little, cos I refuse to humour this conversation more than just writing it here.
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Matt's Challenge.
Matt @ Learning From Self History commented on this entry a few weeks back. He contemplated just exactly how much to write and how obscure he could be, without risk of offending me, or appearing to be attacking me. Instead he wrote me a private message explaining just that.
I instructed him to never censor himself and I would never delete any comments unless they were truly offensive. I post the posts I do, cos I want real feed input. In the few emails we exchanged he explained that he seems to only comment on blogs lately while half-trying to challenge someones whole way of looking at things. He extended his offer to send more comments if I was interested in hearing further thoughts from him, which might involved he might be a bit overly challenging towards my point of view.
My blog isn't just one of venting. It's also one of reflecting the past and present to grow and expand my views. With that said, Matt gave me a challenge even though he was still a little weary about going to far with his comments.
He gave me 5 questions to answer. 5 of which required some thought. It wasn't an easy thing to sit down and really look at myself internally. Admit out loud my faults, my vulnerabilities.
I'm not going to share all 5 questions/answers with you. I'm going to keep 4 to myself as I hold them dear, and frankly I'm still absorbing what I learned about myself. For that, Matt will always have a special place in the back of my head for this challenge.
Without further ado, here is the one question he challenged me with that I'm comfortable with posting.
Q:
One of those old psychology clichés, but it may have value: Part of you is seeking out guys who share characteristics with someone/multiple someones from your past, in order to get the chance to replay past experiences but with the hope of finding a way to arrive at a different outcome.
If you're up for it I'd be interested to read a post along the lines of "The 5 men who've played the biggest part in my life so far, and how things played out with each of them" (Don't all have to be relationships - hell, I haven't had 5 long-term relationships - but just 5 men who have influenced how you see men.)
I just had a quick look through your past posts for anything like this but didn't manage to find anything (although I did see the following sentence in a May 2010 post: "All the men in my life, friends or otherwise, are all cheating, lying to their spouses or jerking around women for fun" - ouch - this reminds me that it's still possible that most men are jerks and that I'm the one who's got the skewed world-view!)
A:
5 men who have influenced or played a big part in my life. Relationship or not.
This is harder than I thought. I don’t want to get all-deep seeded but of course, most will think it starts with my Dad. It doesn’t. It starts with my siblings.
I’ve longed for acceptance from my siblings my whole life. Family is important to me and the fact mine is so dysfunctional, I strive to have it even more. I’m the youngest of 6. I grew up the youngest, and the only child, as there are many years between me and the next sibling and almost 2 decades between the oldest and me. Sooooo, that need to be accepted by my siblings, starts my pattern of choosing the men I do. And toughing it out much longer than I need or even wants too.
Jason W. The Ex.
My first real love.
Almost a solid 8 years. Probably the healthiest relationship I’ve had.
He was the first to tap into my anger issues in a soft way that prompted me to start with anger management. He was kind, patient, calm, handsome, strong, athletic, funny as all get out and completely impossible at other times. He would take something that bugged me and or something I was very serious about and make a joke out of it, until I yelled at him. There was a healthy balance though like any relationship. About 6-7 years into our relationship, he suddenly became “concerned” about my weight. At the time, I was only 130/135 lbs, in shape, still extremely active. However this was the start of other issues we’d be side stepping. We eventually broke up. It was civil, caring, calm. We simply did not want the same things for our futures.
Adam H.
We only went out a few times and never connected on enough levels to be romantic.
I remember clearly being on dates with him and being impressed just how naturally he was a gentleman. Thinking to myself, “it should be like this all the time. Easy.” He didn’t do things to try and sleep with me. He did them cos it was the right thing to do. He got to know me over wine, walks and movies. I still remember saying to him that he’d raised the bar for all other men. He was consistent. Polite. Handsome. Grown up.
Adam W.
Just like the other Adam. He is the most consistent man I know. We’ve never dated, although back in the beginning before he found his fiancé. There was an open invite, but I never touched it. He treats his friends’ great. Does things when asked, never expecting anything in return, and never holds favours he’s filled, over anyone’s head. I strive to have more mutual relationships with my friends like this, and to be more consistent. It’s been a constant change, in a good way.
Evan E.
I learned much from this relationship. It was short lived and intense. He lived here 1/2 the time and back east the other half. This relationship lasted less than 2 years in total. As foolish as some of the things we did as a result of being in love, I learned a couple things. 1) I will never move out of BC for anyone. Period. Selfish I know. 2) You can NOT live in two house holds while trying to share a bed full time. I refused to give up my apartment while I lived with him. Maybe I knew this wasn't meant to last, or I was still under the spell of The Douche. It ended amicably and he moved to another province to for work. I hold special thoughts for the way he made me laugh and for not hating me when I ended our relationship.
The Douche.
He was amazing, considerate, dorky, kind and also impossible at times. We had our issues from the start due to our previous living arrangements. We had only known each other two years when my Mum passed away. He stepped up. He was there for me while I was having a mental break down. I don’t say that lightly. It was serious. I wasn’t taking care of myself. We weren’t even together anymore when he’d stop by to make sure I was sleeping, eating and bathing. I wasn’t doing any of those things.
He broke into my suite once when he knew I was home but wouldn’t answer the door. (I was heavily sedated and don’t remember the events leading up to this or a few afterwards). I came too in the shower, fully clothed, as The Douche was undressing me, rubbing soap on me, washed my hair, and shaved my legs. I remember the numb, listlessness feeling I had. Like I wasn’t even there, but I was watching it all take place.
He had bathed me, made sure I ate something, and tucked me into bed on a few occasions in those first couple weeks. I don't remember the day as it happened, or the days after that (it came to me afterwards), he told me he stopped by to make sure I was okay. I remember opening my freezer once and realizing someone had put a few ready to heat up small meals. It was him. He was also the one to tell me I would cry in my sleep, and the first to notice I had started sleep walking.
Post trauma stress is a funny thing. It can fuck you up royally.
For those of you who only read the bad things I say about him, these are just a few of the great things he did. The behind the scenes that no one ever sees or knows about.
This is why I continued to fall back on him as my “go to” guy when I was having a problem. Cos I knew he could fix it. Deep down, I knew I held onto our relationship much much longer than I needed to, even when we weren’t good to each other. His influence as a caregiver was a result of me putting up with his bullshit for years… He fixed and protected me. And up until recently, he was still that person for me, even whilst in another relationships. I've since made a huge effort to move on. I have too.
So Matt, there you have it.
The men who have shaped and influenced me in one-way or another. What I got from writing this, though I’m not sure if I’ll publish this, is, I need a kind man that fulfills the many layers of my onion. He must be kind, understanding, patient, opinionated, funny, consistent, supportive, respectful, and lastly, strong enough to date, and love me. I’m a handful.
I got quite a bit of self-realization about my dating habits from having to think about all this, and putting it on paper. Can’t assign blame to anyone but me. This has definitely given me something to think about. What to change. What to put up with. How to give myself more self-respect. Now I just have to find the balance of not being cold hearted and letting people go to soon or harshly and when to really let them in.
Matt and I exchanged a few more emails after this that I won't be sharing. Some things just have to be kept private. Although he did give permission to post our whole conversation.
I instructed him to never censor himself and I would never delete any comments unless they were truly offensive. I post the posts I do, cos I want real feed input. In the few emails we exchanged he explained that he seems to only comment on blogs lately while half-trying to challenge someones whole way of looking at things. He extended his offer to send more comments if I was interested in hearing further thoughts from him, which might involved he might be a bit overly challenging towards my point of view.
My blog isn't just one of venting. It's also one of reflecting the past and present to grow and expand my views. With that said, Matt gave me a challenge even though he was still a little weary about going to far with his comments.
He gave me 5 questions to answer. 5 of which required some thought. It wasn't an easy thing to sit down and really look at myself internally. Admit out loud my faults, my vulnerabilities.
I'm not going to share all 5 questions/answers with you. I'm going to keep 4 to myself as I hold them dear, and frankly I'm still absorbing what I learned about myself. For that, Matt will always have a special place in the back of my head for this challenge.
Without further ado, here is the one question he challenged me with that I'm comfortable with posting.
Q:
One of those old psychology clichés, but it may have value: Part of you is seeking out guys who share characteristics with someone/multiple someones from your past, in order to get the chance to replay past experiences but with the hope of finding a way to arrive at a different outcome.
If you're up for it I'd be interested to read a post along the lines of "The 5 men who've played the biggest part in my life so far, and how things played out with each of them" (Don't all have to be relationships - hell, I haven't had 5 long-term relationships - but just 5 men who have influenced how you see men.)
I just had a quick look through your past posts for anything like this but didn't manage to find anything (although I did see the following sentence in a May 2010 post: "All the men in my life, friends or otherwise, are all cheating, lying to their spouses or jerking around women for fun" - ouch - this reminds me that it's still possible that most men are jerks and that I'm the one who's got the skewed world-view!)
A:
5 men who have influenced or played a big part in my life. Relationship or not.
This is harder than I thought. I don’t want to get all-deep seeded but of course, most will think it starts with my Dad. It doesn’t. It starts with my siblings.
I’ve longed for acceptance from my siblings my whole life. Family is important to me and the fact mine is so dysfunctional, I strive to have it even more. I’m the youngest of 6. I grew up the youngest, and the only child, as there are many years between me and the next sibling and almost 2 decades between the oldest and me. Sooooo, that need to be accepted by my siblings, starts my pattern of choosing the men I do. And toughing it out much longer than I need or even wants too.
Jason W. The Ex.
My first real love.
Almost a solid 8 years. Probably the healthiest relationship I’ve had.
He was the first to tap into my anger issues in a soft way that prompted me to start with anger management. He was kind, patient, calm, handsome, strong, athletic, funny as all get out and completely impossible at other times. He would take something that bugged me and or something I was very serious about and make a joke out of it, until I yelled at him. There was a healthy balance though like any relationship. About 6-7 years into our relationship, he suddenly became “concerned” about my weight. At the time, I was only 130/135 lbs, in shape, still extremely active. However this was the start of other issues we’d be side stepping. We eventually broke up. It was civil, caring, calm. We simply did not want the same things for our futures.
Adam H.
We only went out a few times and never connected on enough levels to be romantic.
I remember clearly being on dates with him and being impressed just how naturally he was a gentleman. Thinking to myself, “it should be like this all the time. Easy.” He didn’t do things to try and sleep with me. He did them cos it was the right thing to do. He got to know me over wine, walks and movies. I still remember saying to him that he’d raised the bar for all other men. He was consistent. Polite. Handsome. Grown up.
Adam W.
Just like the other Adam. He is the most consistent man I know. We’ve never dated, although back in the beginning before he found his fiancé. There was an open invite, but I never touched it. He treats his friends’ great. Does things when asked, never expecting anything in return, and never holds favours he’s filled, over anyone’s head. I strive to have more mutual relationships with my friends like this, and to be more consistent. It’s been a constant change, in a good way.
Evan E.
I learned much from this relationship. It was short lived and intense. He lived here 1/2 the time and back east the other half. This relationship lasted less than 2 years in total. As foolish as some of the things we did as a result of being in love, I learned a couple things. 1) I will never move out of BC for anyone. Period. Selfish I know. 2) You can NOT live in two house holds while trying to share a bed full time. I refused to give up my apartment while I lived with him. Maybe I knew this wasn't meant to last, or I was still under the spell of The Douche. It ended amicably and he moved to another province to for work. I hold special thoughts for the way he made me laugh and for not hating me when I ended our relationship.
The Douche.
He was amazing, considerate, dorky, kind and also impossible at times. We had our issues from the start due to our previous living arrangements. We had only known each other two years when my Mum passed away. He stepped up. He was there for me while I was having a mental break down. I don’t say that lightly. It was serious. I wasn’t taking care of myself. We weren’t even together anymore when he’d stop by to make sure I was sleeping, eating and bathing. I wasn’t doing any of those things.
He broke into my suite once when he knew I was home but wouldn’t answer the door. (I was heavily sedated and don’t remember the events leading up to this or a few afterwards). I came too in the shower, fully clothed, as The Douche was undressing me, rubbing soap on me, washed my hair, and shaved my legs. I remember the numb, listlessness feeling I had. Like I wasn’t even there, but I was watching it all take place.
He had bathed me, made sure I ate something, and tucked me into bed on a few occasions in those first couple weeks. I don't remember the day as it happened, or the days after that (it came to me afterwards), he told me he stopped by to make sure I was okay. I remember opening my freezer once and realizing someone had put a few ready to heat up small meals. It was him. He was also the one to tell me I would cry in my sleep, and the first to notice I had started sleep walking.
Post trauma stress is a funny thing. It can fuck you up royally.
For those of you who only read the bad things I say about him, these are just a few of the great things he did. The behind the scenes that no one ever sees or knows about.
This is why I continued to fall back on him as my “go to” guy when I was having a problem. Cos I knew he could fix it. Deep down, I knew I held onto our relationship much much longer than I needed to, even when we weren’t good to each other. His influence as a caregiver was a result of me putting up with his bullshit for years… He fixed and protected me. And up until recently, he was still that person for me, even whilst in another relationships. I've since made a huge effort to move on. I have too.
So Matt, there you have it.
The men who have shaped and influenced me in one-way or another. What I got from writing this, though I’m not sure if I’ll publish this, is, I need a kind man that fulfills the many layers of my onion. He must be kind, understanding, patient, opinionated, funny, consistent, supportive, respectful, and lastly, strong enough to date, and love me. I’m a handful.
I got quite a bit of self-realization about my dating habits from having to think about all this, and putting it on paper. Can’t assign blame to anyone but me. This has definitely given me something to think about. What to change. What to put up with. How to give myself more self-respect. Now I just have to find the balance of not being cold hearted and letting people go to soon or harshly and when to really let them in.
Matt and I exchanged a few more emails after this that I won't be sharing. Some things just have to be kept private. Although he did give permission to post our whole conversation.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
You talk too much.
I've caught myself on more than a few occasions recently talking or laughing out loud as I'm waking from a sleep. It's safe to say I'm talking in my sleep, again.
This happens from time to time. Usually stressed or excited about something. I thought I was pretty neutral lately.
Anyways, I can only imagine what I'm talking about, to whom, and why so loudly.
The first time when it happened, I thought the voice was in my room was another person at first and I jumped up, only to realize it was me. This has happened repeatedly in the last while.
Fun fun.
This happens from time to time. Usually stressed or excited about something. I thought I was pretty neutral lately.
Anyways, I can only imagine what I'm talking about, to whom, and why so loudly.
The first time when it happened, I thought the voice was in my room was another person at first and I jumped up, only to realize it was me. This has happened repeatedly in the last while.
Fun fun.
Monday, 19 September 2011
Murphy's Law vs. Accutane vs. Just Sayin...
I've had both two real beer, and sex in the last 48 hours, and now... I feel like shit.
I'm not suppose to do either while on Accutane. Even though it is written "on occasion" you can have a drink. I waited 7 months for that friggin occasion, and what did I get? NOTHING. No buzz. Nothing.
And the sex? Mind blowing and extremely needed! (maybe wasn't mind blowing just overdue for my own sanity) now... I have a headache! Migraine actually. Isn't sex suppose to take care of that for you?
Why the sex? If I didn't have it soon, I was going to rape my hot roommate who loves to walk around half naked with his ridiculously delicious body. *sigh*. Plus it's been 7 long months. Self love can only get you so far. That itch in the very back needed to be, well...itched. Hard.
Accutane 1. Murphys Law 1. Just Sayin 0.5
I'm not suppose to do either while on Accutane. Even though it is written "on occasion" you can have a drink. I waited 7 months for that friggin occasion, and what did I get? NOTHING. No buzz. Nothing.
And the sex? Mind blowing and extremely needed! (maybe wasn't mind blowing just overdue for my own sanity) now... I have a headache! Migraine actually. Isn't sex suppose to take care of that for you?
Why the sex? If I didn't have it soon, I was going to rape my hot roommate who loves to walk around half naked with his ridiculously delicious body. *sigh*. Plus it's been 7 long months. Self love can only get you so far. That itch in the very back needed to be, well...itched. Hard.
Accutane 1. Murphys Law 1. Just Sayin 0.5
Friday, 16 September 2011
Ok here are the updates....7 in total.
MonthlyInfor.com
This is for all the ladies and men who have ladies in their lives.
monthlyinfor.com is a simple tool to help you keep track of your menstrual cycles. Basically, you record each time your period starts, and MonthlyInfo uses your history to generate predictions and statistics about your cycles. You can then create and customize reminders which can be sent to your email address or text messaged to your phone.
Can't go wrong with this. I find it might best serve those of us not on birth control pills etc, so you know exactly when you're getting your period. I count on a calendar, but this is just too easy not too. I've set up reminder emails/texts and messages to myself in regards to:
1)Pmsing commences in 3 days (Don't freak out, you're pmsing, go buy comfort food)2)Breast exam reminders
3)An aprox time as to when I'll start again. (Put tampons in your bag this week)
It hasn't failed me yet.
And the great thing about this, when you have a couple months in, the site will make up a chart and/or pie graph for you, in case you ever need to see the pattern of your cycle for any medical reasons.
FREE! Check it out, try it out, pass the word along. If not for yourself, but for someone you might think could benefit from it.
Whiny Bitch- aka Douche.
He's still texting (although it's slowing down) and I'm still not replying. He's pouting with comments like, "I guess you don't like me anymore. lol" or, "Are you dating someone now?" I replied once, it was short and curt. "I'm busy with stuff."
Of course I still "like" him. He wasn't a complete assface all the time. There are some really good things about him, but blah blah blah... he's someone else's problem now.
Although I think I've got it figured it out. He wants what he can't have. So I'm going to phone him and suggest coffee(in public) and because now he's getting access to me, he won't do anything about it. lol. I'm going to let him think he's calling the shots etc.
Some might say, just cut all ties etc. I could, but I don't hate him. I'm still a little hurt from the results of our relationship, but I don't hate him. And would always be pleasant in person should we cross paths with our significant others.
Out of Town Guests:
A g/f from out of town came to visit for a week. Without boring you will all the little details, here are some things we got up too.
*CM made Robson St her bitch in a matter of minutes!
*I was assigned my own personal security detail at the Vancouver Art Museum.
*I managed to spend very little money.
Entirely too much laughing, reminiscing, and no rest. It was a good week.
Roommate:
If this guy stays the way he is now, he can stay forever!
He cleans up after himself. He's stealthy quiet. He paid Octobers rent the second week of September. He's considerate. He takes out the garbage, even though I could do it myself. And the first time I cook dinner for us, he does the dishes without saying anything. I asked him what he was doing, he replied "you cooked it, I'll clean it".
Okay, the dude is ME in male form. Or it's simply, I finally am having a roommate experience with someone who has manners and obtains that common sense gene most people seem to be missing these days.
He's told me about a few of his last rooming experiences and they have sounded fairly normal, though thus far has said I'm far more easier to live with compared to those in the past. Maybe it could be cos we're closer to the same age than his previous mates, or the fact we laid down the rules in emails (no he said/she said) of what to expect from each other before I agreed to let him move in.
Whatever it is, it works, right now.
Social Month:
For the month of August and September I have eaten out for practically every single meal. It's just a very social month and a bit.
Got together with Single & Picky last week for dinner. We met up at the Memphis Blues BBQ House. It was a lot of meat for two girls. As it turns out I'm not a fan of brisket at all. I was a little disappointed overall with the meal. I had an image that the food would be a true southern style. The cooking style maybe, but the taste was bland. Anyone here could cook it the same way. It wasn't anything special other than being a ridiculous amount of meat for cheap.
Aside from the meal itself, getting in a visit with Single &Picky is always a joy. She's a fun girl regardless if the topic is serious or light and fluffy.
Lastly- Yoga:
I started yoga again after a long hiatus, I got the okay to return. Nothing much more to report on that. Other than I'm searching to buy a new matt that is at least 10-12mm thick.
Accutane:
Is a bitch.
I'm starting month 7!!! That's right, we've finished month six 2 days ago.
I do believe we're going to aim for a whole year. I've surrendered to it. Although I did have a real beer or 2 this week.
Can you guess how that went? First alcohol in 6 months? NOTHING! Nothing fun happened. I didn't get drunk off 2 beers. I didn't get a hangover (yay) although I did feel like my body was working a little harder to rid of toxins the next day. Unfortunately I do not believe I'll be one of those people who can have a drink from time to time while on this accutane. If my body can't handle the regular dosage of this drug, it would make sense it wouldn't react well to alcohol then.
Good news:
I was able to bring my cholesterol down five points. We started at 2.3 and spiked to 5.2. Lowered the dosage and it's under 5 now at 4.7 Which is still considered somewhat high, but no longer in the dangerous zone. This of course wasn't an overnight thing. It's been months to lower it. I thought I was doing everything correctly. I wasn't.
I've since cut out dairy, lowered my meat intake (wasn't that high to begin with) and upped the veggies and fruit etc.
Bad news:
I still have side effects. From a change in my hearing (temporary) to the bleeding noses still. Chapped lips and a little eczema from the accutane dry skin. I'm doing my best to defeat it. Though it's exhausting at times.
Good news:
I have found a new sunscreen. It's called Sunforgettable. it's stupid expensive though. $53 -$70 depending where you purchase it. It's a mineral powered sunscreen. No more greasy, hot, sweating faces. I've yet to pick it up, but I'm on it this weekend as I wear sun screen all year round.
There you have it blog-o-sphere family. Updates.
This is for all the ladies and men who have ladies in their lives.
monthlyinfor.com is a simple tool to help you keep track of your menstrual cycles. Basically, you record each time your period starts, and MonthlyInfo uses your history to generate predictions and statistics about your cycles. You can then create and customize reminders which can be sent to your email address or text messaged to your phone.
Can't go wrong with this. I find it might best serve those of us not on birth control pills etc, so you know exactly when you're getting your period. I count on a calendar, but this is just too easy not too. I've set up reminder emails/texts and messages to myself in regards to:
1)Pmsing commences in 3 days (Don't freak out, you're pmsing, go buy comfort food)2)Breast exam reminders
3)An aprox time as to when I'll start again. (Put tampons in your bag this week)
It hasn't failed me yet.
And the great thing about this, when you have a couple months in, the site will make up a chart and/or pie graph for you, in case you ever need to see the pattern of your cycle for any medical reasons.
FREE! Check it out, try it out, pass the word along. If not for yourself, but for someone you might think could benefit from it.
Whiny Bitch- aka Douche.
He's still texting (although it's slowing down) and I'm still not replying. He's pouting with comments like, "I guess you don't like me anymore. lol" or, "Are you dating someone now?" I replied once, it was short and curt. "I'm busy with stuff."
Of course I still "like" him. He wasn't a complete assface all the time. There are some really good things about him, but blah blah blah... he's someone else's problem now.
Although I think I've got it figured it out. He wants what he can't have. So I'm going to phone him and suggest coffee(in public) and because now he's getting access to me, he won't do anything about it. lol. I'm going to let him think he's calling the shots etc.
Some might say, just cut all ties etc. I could, but I don't hate him. I'm still a little hurt from the results of our relationship, but I don't hate him. And would always be pleasant in person should we cross paths with our significant others.
Out of Town Guests:
A g/f from out of town came to visit for a week. Without boring you will all the little details, here are some things we got up too.
*CM made Robson St her bitch in a matter of minutes!
*I was assigned my own personal security detail at the Vancouver Art Museum.
*I managed to spend very little money.
Entirely too much laughing, reminiscing, and no rest. It was a good week.
Roommate:
If this guy stays the way he is now, he can stay forever!
He cleans up after himself. He's stealthy quiet. He paid Octobers rent the second week of September. He's considerate. He takes out the garbage, even though I could do it myself. And the first time I cook dinner for us, he does the dishes without saying anything. I asked him what he was doing, he replied "you cooked it, I'll clean it".
Okay, the dude is ME in male form. Or it's simply, I finally am having a roommate experience with someone who has manners and obtains that common sense gene most people seem to be missing these days.
He's told me about a few of his last rooming experiences and they have sounded fairly normal, though thus far has said I'm far more easier to live with compared to those in the past. Maybe it could be cos we're closer to the same age than his previous mates, or the fact we laid down the rules in emails (no he said/she said) of what to expect from each other before I agreed to let him move in.
Whatever it is, it works, right now.
Social Month:
For the month of August and September I have eaten out for practically every single meal. It's just a very social month and a bit.
Got together with Single & Picky last week for dinner. We met up at the Memphis Blues BBQ House. It was a lot of meat for two girls. As it turns out I'm not a fan of brisket at all. I was a little disappointed overall with the meal. I had an image that the food would be a true southern style. The cooking style maybe, but the taste was bland. Anyone here could cook it the same way. It wasn't anything special other than being a ridiculous amount of meat for cheap.
Aside from the meal itself, getting in a visit with Single &Picky is always a joy. She's a fun girl regardless if the topic is serious or light and fluffy.
Lastly- Yoga:
I started yoga again after a long hiatus, I got the okay to return. Nothing much more to report on that. Other than I'm searching to buy a new matt that is at least 10-12mm thick.
Accutane:
Is a bitch.
I'm starting month 7!!! That's right, we've finished month six 2 days ago.
I do believe we're going to aim for a whole year. I've surrendered to it. Although I did have a real beer or 2 this week.
Can you guess how that went? First alcohol in 6 months? NOTHING! Nothing fun happened. I didn't get drunk off 2 beers. I didn't get a hangover (yay) although I did feel like my body was working a little harder to rid of toxins the next day. Unfortunately I do not believe I'll be one of those people who can have a drink from time to time while on this accutane. If my body can't handle the regular dosage of this drug, it would make sense it wouldn't react well to alcohol then.
Good news:
I was able to bring my cholesterol down five points. We started at 2.3 and spiked to 5.2. Lowered the dosage and it's under 5 now at 4.7 Which is still considered somewhat high, but no longer in the dangerous zone. This of course wasn't an overnight thing. It's been months to lower it. I thought I was doing everything correctly. I wasn't.
I've since cut out dairy, lowered my meat intake (wasn't that high to begin with) and upped the veggies and fruit etc.
Bad news:
I still have side effects. From a change in my hearing (temporary) to the bleeding noses still. Chapped lips and a little eczema from the accutane dry skin. I'm doing my best to defeat it. Though it's exhausting at times.
Good news:
I have found a new sunscreen. It's called Sunforgettable. it's stupid expensive though. $53 -$70 depending where you purchase it. It's a mineral powered sunscreen. No more greasy, hot, sweating faces. I've yet to pick it up, but I'm on it this weekend as I wear sun screen all year round.
There you have it blog-o-sphere family. Updates.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Unemployed....
.....well not yet. But it could be coming, sooner than later.
Our company received a global wide (covers all companies under the umbrella of the bargle parent company) that a huge aggressive cost reducing action was taking place immediately, on going til the middle of October. The last paragraph of the email said "no department will be left untouched". We let a few people in our office go today. Senior vp corps at the head office of said parent bargle company were also let go.
Oh ya, feeling oh so secure.
No one from the highest of vp's to the lowest of the peon staff are safe.
If I come home with a job between tomorrow and end of October, I'll be surprised. We're all replaceable.
Even without the current living arrangements I have, I'd be okay til mid November, rent, bills and extras would be taken care of for a month. I've never been unemployed for more than a few days, but to ever think it will always be that easy to find employment, would be a very bad and unrealistic move on my part.
I'll keep you updated. I'll keep me updated. I'm fairly excitable right now and could go from crying to biting your head off. Until I can calm down, get my ducks in a row and move forward.
I've talked to my boss, and although she can not discuss those things with me in detail, she did say she would let me know in her own way. We've had this arrangement for a few years. It's discreet and professional.
That is all.
Our company received a global wide (covers all companies under the umbrella of the bargle parent company) that a huge aggressive cost reducing action was taking place immediately, on going til the middle of October. The last paragraph of the email said "no department will be left untouched". We let a few people in our office go today. Senior vp corps at the head office of said parent bargle company were also let go.
Oh ya, feeling oh so secure.
No one from the highest of vp's to the lowest of the peon staff are safe.
If I come home with a job between tomorrow and end of October, I'll be surprised. We're all replaceable.
Even without the current living arrangements I have, I'd be okay til mid November, rent, bills and extras would be taken care of for a month. I've never been unemployed for more than a few days, but to ever think it will always be that easy to find employment, would be a very bad and unrealistic move on my part.
I'll keep you updated. I'll keep me updated. I'm fairly excitable right now and could go from crying to biting your head off. Until I can calm down, get my ducks in a row and move forward.
I've talked to my boss, and although she can not discuss those things with me in detail, she did say she would let me know in her own way. We've had this arrangement for a few years. It's discreet and professional.
That is all.
Chawels on Dragons Den
I think I've mentioned it before, asking you if you knew what a Chawel was?
It's a "cha-nge to-wel" Cha-wel = CHAWEL! www.chawel.com
Last night on the season premier of Dragons Den, the first pitch of the night was my friend pitching his design. The Chawel. (How many times can I plug the name Chawel?)
If you care to watch it, check out the episode here. Chawels episode on Dragons Den It's the first pitch. :) Do you think he choose the best offer? As all the Dragons made one.
If you like what you see, order one, tell people about it, and of course blog about it!!!
You can also YouTube the commercials he made.
I own several.
Actually I own one of the original protos which in my opinion are the better ones as he use to make them with prints. Ducks, frogs, cancer ribbon, camouflage, and adult friendly prints, and many more colours etc.. However the demand vs. time to produce and ensuring he had the print available wasn't balancing, now they are two tone colour, longer, and have an inside pockets for your money, ipod, etc. Though rumour has it, he may do special addition prints for the holidays.
Chawel it up baby!!!
It's a "cha-nge to-wel" Cha-wel = CHAWEL! www.chawel.com
Last night on the season premier of Dragons Den, the first pitch of the night was my friend pitching his design. The Chawel. (How many times can I plug the name Chawel?)
If you care to watch it, check out the episode here. Chawels episode on Dragons Den It's the first pitch. :) Do you think he choose the best offer? As all the Dragons made one.
If you like what you see, order one, tell people about it, and of course blog about it!!!
You can also YouTube the commercials he made.
I own several.
Actually I own one of the original protos which in my opinion are the better ones as he use to make them with prints. Ducks, frogs, cancer ribbon, camouflage, and adult friendly prints, and many more colours etc.. However the demand vs. time to produce and ensuring he had the print available wasn't balancing, now they are two tone colour, longer, and have an inside pockets for your money, ipod, etc. Though rumour has it, he may do special addition prints for the holidays.
Chawel it up baby!!!
Monday, 12 September 2011
Post update....
I have a few posts to enter, though they will be delayed as some interesting stuff is taking place at work, I will no longer be posting from work until the dust clears. I rarely have the energy to post once I get home. But maybe, just maybe it will defer how much TV I'm watching lately.....
Stay tuned......
Stay tuned......
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Whiny Bitch
My ex is making me laugh hard!
This past week and a half (longweekend included) I've been on holidays as you know. Which means I've been pretty unavailable to anyone who wasn't with me. Over the long weekend I started to receive a few text msg's from the ex. Nothing inappropriate. But the messages got whinier and whinier the more time passed and I hadn't replied.
I think he has his period.
9 messages in total. The last few asking where I was, why I wasn't at home (lovely assumption, thanks Douche) and lastly "*sigh*, I guess you're out enjoying the sun."
I love how he always assumes I'm at home when he texts me. Like I don't have a life of my own. And how he pouts when he doesn't get an immediate reply. Yet he can take up to a week to reply. That doesn't bother me, cos I'm usually just replying to his text.
I said I was moving on. And I am.
This has resulted with an very poutty and whiny ex who has a fiance.
I still stand by that I said; we could be civil and chat from time to time, but I never thought I'd be at the receiving end of a guy who's about to get his period.
I get it though. I do.
I've had those moments myself, where I just want to talk to him. Lean on him for his calm and rational reasoning when I'm being a spazz. The only difference here, I'm forthright about what I need from him in those moments and refrain from acting all needy and whiny since he decided he didn't want a life with me.
Had we been doing the on/off again thing, I totally would have tapped into the whiny "love me, snuggle me" whiny moments.
Stop being a whiny bitch, rub some dirt on it, and put your big girl panties on.
Side note: Once he stops being such a girl, I'll return his messages.
This past week and a half (longweekend included) I've been on holidays as you know. Which means I've been pretty unavailable to anyone who wasn't with me. Over the long weekend I started to receive a few text msg's from the ex. Nothing inappropriate. But the messages got whinier and whinier the more time passed and I hadn't replied.
I think he has his period.
9 messages in total. The last few asking where I was, why I wasn't at home (lovely assumption, thanks Douche) and lastly "*sigh*, I guess you're out enjoying the sun."
I love how he always assumes I'm at home when he texts me. Like I don't have a life of my own. And how he pouts when he doesn't get an immediate reply. Yet he can take up to a week to reply. That doesn't bother me, cos I'm usually just replying to his text.
I said I was moving on. And I am.
This has resulted with an very poutty and whiny ex who has a fiance.
I still stand by that I said; we could be civil and chat from time to time, but I never thought I'd be at the receiving end of a guy who's about to get his period.
I get it though. I do.
I've had those moments myself, where I just want to talk to him. Lean on him for his calm and rational reasoning when I'm being a spazz. The only difference here, I'm forthright about what I need from him in those moments and refrain from acting all needy and whiny since he decided he didn't want a life with me.
Had we been doing the on/off again thing, I totally would have tapped into the whiny "love me, snuggle me" whiny moments.
Stop being a whiny bitch, rub some dirt on it, and put your big girl panties on.
Side note: Once he stops being such a girl, I'll return his messages.
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Holiday Recap
Still on holidays. Well, technically my holidays are over, but they ended the day before the long weekend. Soooo I'm still on holidays. lol
Now that my company has left, and my weekend guest had to cancel, I'm sitting still.
All fidgety and stuff. Everyone is out of town for the weekend. Even the roommate is away visiting his g/f and family for the long weekend. I'm bored.
Can only clean the apartment so many times. lol
My house guest CM came into town a day late, but we made up for it quickly. Long long hours shopping on Robson St. CM made Robson her bitch. It was crazy how much money she spent in two days on the strip.
We spent our down time at the Vancouver Art Gallery, where I was assigned my own personal security detail after taking a picture of a display. I didn't know it was a display, honest. I thought it was funny, I got busted using my little cell phone camera but those walking around using their iPads to take pictures every 5th or 6th person weren't even acknowledged. What did security think they were doing, comparing notes?
I almost bought a bed frame at Ikea. The one I'd been eyeing for a year now went on sale. Or so I thought. The difference in price was returned to you in gift cards that had to be spent IN Ikea. So in retrospect, it's not a sale at all. I passed. I don't shop at that store often enough to buy the bed frame on sale and spend the savings on stuff I do not need or want.
I think I'm going to hit up an antique alley in New Westminster and try my luck there. I have something specific in mind, and while I don't mind spending good money on an item, I want it to last for awhile. However this item isn't a huge priority on my list. The trip back east next year and a newer car are first. Unless of course the price is very right.
It's only been a week, however I have a roommate update for ya.
He's ghostly quiet. It's crazy. He picks up after himself, he doesn't leave a lake of water on the floor in the bathroom after shaving or brushing his teeth. He doesn't intrude my space, and stands outside my open bedroom door and asks if he can come in before walking in even though the door is open. Respect!
We're splitting the cost of making some soups and casseroles next week. (his suggestion) I'm going to learn to use a slow cooker and make soups for the first time ever....don't judge me.
So far so good. I think he might survive the next 3 months. :-)
Now that my company has left, and my weekend guest had to cancel, I'm sitting still.
All fidgety and stuff. Everyone is out of town for the weekend. Even the roommate is away visiting his g/f and family for the long weekend. I'm bored.
Can only clean the apartment so many times. lol
My house guest CM came into town a day late, but we made up for it quickly. Long long hours shopping on Robson St. CM made Robson her bitch. It was crazy how much money she spent in two days on the strip.
We spent our down time at the Vancouver Art Gallery, where I was assigned my own personal security detail after taking a picture of a display. I didn't know it was a display, honest. I thought it was funny, I got busted using my little cell phone camera but those walking around using their iPads to take pictures every 5th or 6th person weren't even acknowledged. What did security think they were doing, comparing notes?
I almost bought a bed frame at Ikea. The one I'd been eyeing for a year now went on sale. Or so I thought. The difference in price was returned to you in gift cards that had to be spent IN Ikea. So in retrospect, it's not a sale at all. I passed. I don't shop at that store often enough to buy the bed frame on sale and spend the savings on stuff I do not need or want.
I think I'm going to hit up an antique alley in New Westminster and try my luck there. I have something specific in mind, and while I don't mind spending good money on an item, I want it to last for awhile. However this item isn't a huge priority on my list. The trip back east next year and a newer car are first. Unless of course the price is very right.
It's only been a week, however I have a roommate update for ya.
He's ghostly quiet. It's crazy. He picks up after himself, he doesn't leave a lake of water on the floor in the bathroom after shaving or brushing his teeth. He doesn't intrude my space, and stands outside my open bedroom door and asks if he can come in before walking in even though the door is open. Respect!
We're splitting the cost of making some soups and casseroles next week. (his suggestion) I'm going to learn to use a slow cooker and make soups for the first time ever....don't judge me.
So far so good. I think he might survive the next 3 months. :-)
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