Everything sucks - a woes is me week

I"m in a funk. A woes is me funk. Which seems to be the hardest for anyone to get out of.

-Girlfriend codes are being broken.
-People not holding up to their words.
-Actions are speaking louder than words.


In short, feeling more and more like an after thought from people I thought were a close knit group of friends.
I’m starting to second guess myself and wondering if these were ever really friends or was it me thinking – wishing – wanting that we were all better friends than what the reality really is.

I'm tired of chasing people down to stay in touch, seriously.
If you say you’re going to call on Friday and don’t, two, three weeks in a row, then get upset when I don’t call to REMIND you to call, seriously?  I’m thinking if I was important to people I hold important to me, they would do the things they say they will and when they don’t…. well, I'm feeling the love.
(there is a serious need for a sarcasm font)
And its not just here and there, its all the time. I guess this makes me high maintenance?

I’m probably going to disconnect my land line, since it NEVER rings.
And look into a long distance plan on my cell.
Wonder how long it will be before anyone notices that my land line isn’t in service.

Tired of the men in my life, acquaintances, friends or not, and they way they treat their g/f’s. More so how they all seem to think that wanting to have inappropriate conversations or relationships with me is not cheating and totally acceptable. (As long as they don’t get caught). What is it about me that invites men to think I'm okay with this? I've asked a few and have received really lame reasons/excuses in return. But all claim I'm not doing anything to provoke this.... hmmmm

Has it always been this way? Or am I just waking up and being shocked by it all?
And how much of it am I actually contributing to it? Or are all men like this and its either cant beat them so may as well join in.

I am lonely. Not just romantically. Its been this way for a while now.

Over thinking and all that, I wonder if there is more of this in store for me as I grow older and older..
Cos if it is, I seriously may as well off myself right now. (of course I’d never do that)

What is sad and makes me a little angry, is that once I have a car again, how many people will suddenly be available again. When I had my car, I always had to drive to who ever house, and on road trips etc..
But now I’m car-less, I don’t see any of it being returned now that those same people have cars.

I’m losing faith in the whole “you get back what you put into the world”, cos it certainly has not been a two way street in my world for awhile now. When does it balance out?

Maybe I will only do things for myself and just say NO to everyone else from now on. Treat others the way I’m treated, instead of how I’d like to be treated, cos that is getting me no where. Hmph.

In short, I'm not a fan of life in general and people right now.

When did it become socially acceptable to be lazy on your word, morals, principles and values? And can those people feel good about treating others with such disregard?