...took less than 24 hours.
I sent a message to this guy cos his profile was NORMAL! 36 yrs old, employed, profile suggested he lived a pretty normal life. He's blocked me since sending me this message, however his profile did not say "hang out" it said "dating, looking for a relationship"
The beginning of his profile mentioned that he wasn't exactly in a good space to be dating due to some personal stuff with a dying friend of his etc... If it's true, that's sad, personally I think it's a line to play the sympathetic card to get dates. Seriously, who puts that kind of information up on their DATING profile?
I sent a quick message saying I liked his profile, we had some mutual interests etc.. and to fire over a smile if he was interested.
Him:
Thanks for the kind words, but I think I made it rather clear that I am not available right now. I'm just not in a good place
to start something new. Sorry.
Me:
Sorry to hear that, but maybe it would be best to hide your profile for the time being, as it is a dating site.
(I didn't really care at this point what his reaction would be, cos the more I think about him posting that on his profile, he's an attention seeker)
Him:
Should I?
Or could putting it in words right at the top of my profile cover it, so that I may remain in contact with friends here? Would that be okay with you? Or are you so self important that I should close my profile and not have contact with my friends here?
I have stated I am not looking to date, my profile is for hang out, (and I do, with my friends here). Nice, the way you handle rejection, and try to redirect it into my wrong doing though. It's very telling about who you are as a person. It took one message and you have shown you like to blame others when things don't go your way. That's awesome. When I am not too stressed out to date, that is EXACTLY what I look for in a potential long term partner, and what you wrote me has such wonderful value, and has really lifted me up at this moment in my life when I needed it most. You are such a keeper.../sarcastic tone off
He blocked me here.
First of all, I do not understand why dating sites offer "friends, hangout, email/talk, not single/not looking" as options. Those are not dating options, those are outs for men/women who are not single to have online affairs. Aren't there other sites out there for those specific reasons?
I would have loved to have replied with more of my recent insight to his last message.
Stay in touch with friends, on a dating site? Really? Red flag. Airing why he is off the market, using a friends illness as a line... Red flag.
My next message to him would have been along the lines of advising I take rejection well, it's part of the game, but to waste space on a "dating site" to stay in touch with "friends" etc.... This first rejection (happy for it) is exactly the kind of drama I mentioned in an earlier post written today. Last year or any of the other on/off times I was single, this is the exact thing I invited into my life, and put up with it. If this is any indication of what's in store on pof again, I won't last long.
Not sure I have any faith in the online process.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Monday, 7 December 2009
Saying goodbye to a relationship & Fresh Starts.....
This weekend has been anything that I thought it would.
I witness the sociopath on speaker phone as he yelled at my friend over things that werent revelant at 2am. When he did not get the answer he wanted, he called her all sorts of names.
That was one phone call I hear directly. If ANYONE had ever talked to me that way, ever, I would have walked away then. She put in 13 years. Strongest woman I've ever known in my life time so far.
Saturday I ended a 12 year relationship with a man I was having stronger feelings for. Our arrangement no longer works for me, and on my list of things to do, "love freely without fear of being hurt" is on it.
He honestly couldn't be surprised I became attached, it's only been 13 years.
It went exactly how I anticipated it would. He wasnt an asshole or malicious with my feelings.
I made it clear what I was feeling & wanted, and so did he. Simply, we do not want the same things.
(which I knew and more reason I had to do this) I was never going to be part of his future. Never.
Ouch.
We will not be seeing or talking to each other for the next few weeks to months. We will be friends in the end, just not right now. I need some time to adjust, permission to grieve and let it go.
I'm proud of myself for following through and ending a relationship that was holding me back from letting love in as a whole and will be available to give love as a whole.
As much as it hurt, this was the healthiest thing I've done for my romantic life, in oh, I dont know, 13 years.
I witness the sociopath on speaker phone as he yelled at my friend over things that werent revelant at 2am. When he did not get the answer he wanted, he called her all sorts of names.
That was one phone call I hear directly. If ANYONE had ever talked to me that way, ever, I would have walked away then. She put in 13 years. Strongest woman I've ever known in my life time so far.
Saturday I ended a 12 year relationship with a man I was having stronger feelings for. Our arrangement no longer works for me, and on my list of things to do, "love freely without fear of being hurt" is on it.
He honestly couldn't be surprised I became attached, it's only been 13 years.
It went exactly how I anticipated it would. He wasnt an asshole or malicious with my feelings.
I made it clear what I was feeling & wanted, and so did he. Simply, we do not want the same things.
(which I knew and more reason I had to do this) I was never going to be part of his future. Never.
Ouch.
We will not be seeing or talking to each other for the next few weeks to months. We will be friends in the end, just not right now. I need some time to adjust, permission to grieve and let it go.
I'm proud of myself for following through and ending a relationship that was holding me back from letting love in as a whole and will be available to give love as a whole.
As much as it hurt, this was the healthiest thing I've done for my romantic life, in oh, I dont know, 13 years.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Men Update/Dating Woes
I’ve been told a lot lately “roll with it”. I do its kind of my thing.
Over prepare then “flow with it”. It’s the only way I know how.
Now I’m starting to think the universe is not telling me to roll with it, but to roll over and become a push over, walking mat, whatever else you can become when something/one, says roll over/with it.
I like to think I have reasonable standards for myself, and that for the most part of being an online dater; I’ve become a good judge of character……NOT.
In the last year, I tell you, man CAN I PICK THEM! I’m starting to succumb to the idea that I should lower my standards and what I want, cos I’m not getting it from the men I want it from.
Successful (or on his way), educated (book or worldly, doesn’t matter), funny, handsomely beautiful, silly, dapper dresser for all occasions, stable, (emotionally, mentally, financially). Etc... You get the idea. Am I asking too much? Or trying to date outside my league? I took a line from a movie once that said… “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
I’ve tried to live by that. Cos it’s true.
Maybe I’m fighting a path the universe says I’m suppose to experience???
Recap on the last few guys I’ve chatted with that, I THOUGHT, had potential or I liked and they somehow let me down.
DR – is everything I listed above, til he insulted me. That one stung a little more than others, cos I liked him and saw a possible exclusive relationship developing in the future. – deleted.
Island Guy – is now my p/t roommate and not that I saw a future with him. We are not in the same place and he has his own experiences to go thru in life before claiming manhood. He’s 26. Not almost 28 like I thought he was.
EB – New guy, we hit it off, conversation ran smoothly, we covered many, many topics, it seem to have promise. It was easy, really easy.
When I hit it off with someone, I research them. (Maybe this is my problem) I Google them. Of course I don’t tell them, but I hate being lied too or misinformed.
So I Googled EB and turns out he has a facebook profile. We have mutual friends. One being my oldest nephew, who has had a very rough hand at life but has made the best of it. Most people who know him, are directly involved with the scene he lives in. He’s a drug/alcohol counselor for addicts living on the DTES (downtown east side).
EB – calls me last night, mentions he has to share some stuff with me now, not later. He’s a recovering meth addict. (This explains how he knows my nephew) He’s been sober ALMOST a year and had a relapse two weeks ago.
*sigh*
I’m disappointed. Cos we hit it off. He is educated, funny, articulate etc... All the things I like and his pictures on his profile are nice... btw which I learned he didn’t write, it was an ex that wrote it for him. Misleading... Right?
I told him I couldn’t pursue this romantically anymore but would love to continue to chat with him. I have a rule for myself. I will NOT date anyone who hasn’t been sober for an extended period of time. It’s too risky to date them at the beginning. Respectfully accepted my offer.
I know a few things about the program from friends, family and acquaintances in regards to full abstinence from dating and any major life decisions until you pass a year. Every time you relapse, that year starts over. IT DOES! Do not let anyone tell you it doesn’t. That’s the same as being a part time addict. It’s all or nothing.
So not only is my gaydar way off in the last couple years, so is my ability to pick men who wont lie, cheat, insult me or smoke their paycheck to get high.
Over prepare then “flow with it”. It’s the only way I know how.
Now I’m starting to think the universe is not telling me to roll with it, but to roll over and become a push over, walking mat, whatever else you can become when something/one, says roll over/with it.
I like to think I have reasonable standards for myself, and that for the most part of being an online dater; I’ve become a good judge of character……NOT.
In the last year, I tell you, man CAN I PICK THEM! I’m starting to succumb to the idea that I should lower my standards and what I want, cos I’m not getting it from the men I want it from.
Successful (or on his way), educated (book or worldly, doesn’t matter), funny, handsomely beautiful, silly, dapper dresser for all occasions, stable, (emotionally, mentally, financially). Etc... You get the idea. Am I asking too much? Or trying to date outside my league? I took a line from a movie once that said… “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
I’ve tried to live by that. Cos it’s true.
Maybe I’m fighting a path the universe says I’m suppose to experience???
Recap on the last few guys I’ve chatted with that, I THOUGHT, had potential or I liked and they somehow let me down.
DR – is everything I listed above, til he insulted me. That one stung a little more than others, cos I liked him and saw a possible exclusive relationship developing in the future. – deleted.
Island Guy – is now my p/t roommate and not that I saw a future with him. We are not in the same place and he has his own experiences to go thru in life before claiming manhood. He’s 26. Not almost 28 like I thought he was.
EB – New guy, we hit it off, conversation ran smoothly, we covered many, many topics, it seem to have promise. It was easy, really easy.
When I hit it off with someone, I research them. (Maybe this is my problem) I Google them. Of course I don’t tell them, but I hate being lied too or misinformed.
So I Googled EB and turns out he has a facebook profile. We have mutual friends. One being my oldest nephew, who has had a very rough hand at life but has made the best of it. Most people who know him, are directly involved with the scene he lives in. He’s a drug/alcohol counselor for addicts living on the DTES (downtown east side).
EB – calls me last night, mentions he has to share some stuff with me now, not later. He’s a recovering meth addict. (This explains how he knows my nephew) He’s been sober ALMOST a year and had a relapse two weeks ago.
*sigh*
I’m disappointed. Cos we hit it off. He is educated, funny, articulate etc... All the things I like and his pictures on his profile are nice... btw which I learned he didn’t write, it was an ex that wrote it for him. Misleading... Right?
I told him I couldn’t pursue this romantically anymore but would love to continue to chat with him. I have a rule for myself. I will NOT date anyone who hasn’t been sober for an extended period of time. It’s too risky to date them at the beginning. Respectfully accepted my offer.
I know a few things about the program from friends, family and acquaintances in regards to full abstinence from dating and any major life decisions until you pass a year. Every time you relapse, that year starts over. IT DOES! Do not let anyone tell you it doesn’t. That’s the same as being a part time addict. It’s all or nothing.
So not only is my gaydar way off in the last couple years, so is my ability to pick men who wont lie, cheat, insult me or smoke their paycheck to get high.
Monday, 11 May 2009
Rhetorical Bullshit & Stupid Factory... Where boys are made.
This past week its been a rough go. Emotionally anyways.
Due to receive my monthly womanhood, add a full moon and an overly emotional Mothers Day.... yup. I'm just peachy to be around right now.
The weekend was no different. I do not think its possible for me to actually cry anymore. All the tears have dried up. Well the salty ones anyways.
We'll just do this in point form, cos I have a feeling its going to be a novel.
- D.R. turned out to be a DOUCHE! yes I said the word! after so rudely been called that by a 9yr old. It would be one thing to say, I'm no longer interested, or you're not my type... that I could have excepted. But no. Much worse.
He insulted me to a stranger (to him) off the dating site we met on. Who just happened to be a friend of mine. I cant tell you how mad I am. I confronted him and he's apologized, but that does not stop it from stinging more than usual....Why come over at all if you're just an ass. yes I'm fully aware he was only for my short term needs, but there is never a reason to just be THAT rude.
-add that to the above mood.
-I met someone online who I was getting along with and like all girls, we share the profiles of the men we're talking to with our friends. If not for safety, but to assure we're not talking to the same men. ew.
I showed this g/f the profile of a guy I was hitting it off with... what did she do?
She messaged him herself and went out on a date with him last night!!!
WHO DOES THAT!?
It would be one thing to say, "Hey I'm really interested in him, would you mind if I contacted him too? Isn't there some unwritten rule about this behaviour she just pulled? (friendship is currently under review)How I found out? He and I have great communication skills. He told me he had a date, and I asked if I could see her profile. Its a dating sight, I'm not foolish enough to think any of us are dating just one person, otherwise we'd take our profiles down. And there she is... MY friend, one who is suppose to be one of my closest.... who one is too "tired" to come hang out with me and be emotional support, but instead opts to msg a guy I'm hitting it off with and drive twice the distance past-my-house for the date... This one takes the cake.
-add that to the above mood.
Rhetorical Bullshit.
Ever notice the stupidity that spews from people some times?
I'm positive this sense is only heighten due to the above mood.
But I tell ya I'm so close to putting my fist in someones mouth soon.
It takes everything I have to reply without snark, I've managed to reply with the same amount of rhetorical stupidity as they've offered me.
When its raining, they say, "wow its miserable out there!"
Really? I hadn't noticed since I take the public transit system to get here, but thanks for pointing it out, I'll be sure to have my umbrella with me.
-Oh, you got your hair cut? (and offer nothing else, like a compliment)...
Really? Shit how did that happen? or NO I didn't, but thanks for thinking my looks like shit the rest of the time..
- Brrrrr its cold!
Really? hadn't noticed, but thanks for letting me know (me already in my parka, toque and teeth chattering away)
And when someone says something or does something too stupid for words, I usually reply "good thing you're cute", smile and walk away.
I don't like being this sour. Ever. I always try to make light of most things, cos really, what does getting mad about it do? But I guess I'm only capable of being indifferent and mellow for so long.
I work really hard at keeping my temper under wraps and being proactive about the way I deal with daily life.
I currently am just shy of throwing myself on the ground cry and yelling I WANT MY MUM!!! I desperately need a break from being an adult this week. I want to go home and just sleep and have my parents bring me tea, and just enjoy that silent comfort of just being home you need to recharge that you can only get from going home for a weekend.
I don't have that option.
I cant hang with my older siblings for that comfort, as they are crazy and would razz me for being "the sensitive one" which I will never make any excuses or ever apologize for. When I was younger and up til a few years ago, they would give me a hard time and my response was always the same. "Yes,I'm the sensitive one. I always have been. Sorry you're not able to feel". With my siblings, those are fighting words and know immediately to back the hell off.
The closest thing I have at the moment is going to the island. Hanging with my chosen family. I've always been able to go and be a spazz in a safe environment and they've NEVER ONCE EVER made me feel foolish, insignificant, weak, or embarrassed to need that comfort. I miss them.
I think while Island Guy is here on the weekends (once he picks up his friggin keys) I'll go to the island and have my down time. It's better if it is sooner than later...for everyone surrounding me.
Currently I go home, have a beer, or two, somethings three, have a bath and scream out loud my grievances against the world and people.
I'm in a terrible place right now. I don't want to be in that spot. How many stress cries do you think I can have before I start to feel better?
Friendships currently under review, men suck donkey butt in general this week, I miss my folks in the worst painful way this year, and overall feel alone. So alone.
Thats all, my rant. Hopefully my mood will improve now that its written down on paper and no longer haunting me.
Due to receive my monthly womanhood, add a full moon and an overly emotional Mothers Day.... yup. I'm just peachy to be around right now.
The weekend was no different. I do not think its possible for me to actually cry anymore. All the tears have dried up. Well the salty ones anyways.
We'll just do this in point form, cos I have a feeling its going to be a novel.
- D.R. turned out to be a DOUCHE! yes I said the word! after so rudely been called that by a 9yr old. It would be one thing to say, I'm no longer interested, or you're not my type... that I could have excepted. But no. Much worse.
He insulted me to a stranger (to him) off the dating site we met on. Who just happened to be a friend of mine. I cant tell you how mad I am. I confronted him and he's apologized, but that does not stop it from stinging more than usual....Why come over at all if you're just an ass. yes I'm fully aware he was only for my short term needs, but there is never a reason to just be THAT rude.
-add that to the above mood.
-I met someone online who I was getting along with and like all girls, we share the profiles of the men we're talking to with our friends. If not for safety, but to assure we're not talking to the same men. ew.
I showed this g/f the profile of a guy I was hitting it off with... what did she do?
She messaged him herself and went out on a date with him last night!!!
WHO DOES THAT!?
It would be one thing to say, "Hey I'm really interested in him, would you mind if I contacted him too? Isn't there some unwritten rule about this behaviour she just pulled? (friendship is currently under review)How I found out? He and I have great communication skills. He told me he had a date, and I asked if I could see her profile. Its a dating sight, I'm not foolish enough to think any of us are dating just one person, otherwise we'd take our profiles down. And there she is... MY friend, one who is suppose to be one of my closest.... who one is too "tired" to come hang out with me and be emotional support, but instead opts to msg a guy I'm hitting it off with and drive twice the distance past-my-house for the date... This one takes the cake.
-add that to the above mood.
Rhetorical Bullshit.
Ever notice the stupidity that spews from people some times?
I'm positive this sense is only heighten due to the above mood.
But I tell ya I'm so close to putting my fist in someones mouth soon.
It takes everything I have to reply without snark, I've managed to reply with the same amount of rhetorical stupidity as they've offered me.
When its raining, they say, "wow its miserable out there!"
Really? I hadn't noticed since I take the public transit system to get here, but thanks for pointing it out, I'll be sure to have my umbrella with me.
-Oh, you got your hair cut? (and offer nothing else, like a compliment)...
Really? Shit how did that happen? or NO I didn't, but thanks for thinking my looks like shit the rest of the time..
- Brrrrr its cold!
Really? hadn't noticed, but thanks for letting me know (me already in my parka, toque and teeth chattering away)
And when someone says something or does something too stupid for words, I usually reply "good thing you're cute", smile and walk away.
I don't like being this sour. Ever. I always try to make light of most things, cos really, what does getting mad about it do? But I guess I'm only capable of being indifferent and mellow for so long.
I work really hard at keeping my temper under wraps and being proactive about the way I deal with daily life.
I currently am just shy of throwing myself on the ground cry and yelling I WANT MY MUM!!! I desperately need a break from being an adult this week. I want to go home and just sleep and have my parents bring me tea, and just enjoy that silent comfort of just being home you need to recharge that you can only get from going home for a weekend.
I don't have that option.
I cant hang with my older siblings for that comfort, as they are crazy and would razz me for being "the sensitive one" which I will never make any excuses or ever apologize for. When I was younger and up til a few years ago, they would give me a hard time and my response was always the same. "Yes,I'm the sensitive one. I always have been. Sorry you're not able to feel". With my siblings, those are fighting words and know immediately to back the hell off.
The closest thing I have at the moment is going to the island. Hanging with my chosen family. I've always been able to go and be a spazz in a safe environment and they've NEVER ONCE EVER made me feel foolish, insignificant, weak, or embarrassed to need that comfort. I miss them.
I think while Island Guy is here on the weekends (once he picks up his friggin keys) I'll go to the island and have my down time. It's better if it is sooner than later...for everyone surrounding me.
Currently I go home, have a beer, or two, somethings three, have a bath and scream out loud my grievances against the world and people.
I'm in a terrible place right now. I don't want to be in that spot. How many stress cries do you think I can have before I start to feel better?
Friendships currently under review, men suck donkey butt in general this week, I miss my folks in the worst painful way this year, and overall feel alone. So alone.
Thats all, my rant. Hopefully my mood will improve now that its written down on paper and no longer haunting me.
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Two little words say soooooo much... "It's Complicated".
I Think the title says it all. End of Post.
Kidding.
I've been reading some dating blogs and a one that writes to me,
"Dating without Drama" Not sure how I ended up on this mailing list, but I'm glad I did. Some very valuable infor there.
As it turns out, I'm normal.
With my thoughts of confusion, giddiness, indifference's, etc... its all normal when it comes to dating.
The phrase/status people use to describe their relationships "It's complicated" makes more sense to me now than ever before.
New guy - D.R.
He's also 26, short, but works in stem cell research.
(ya ya I hear Mrs Robinson playing in the background)
I could see myself "dating" this guy. But we've started off as something more, errr I mean less meaningful. Too put it politely, he's meeting my short term needs. ;P
We get along great! He lives in town, texts me, calls, me, says HI for no reason.
We've disgusted exactly what we are, and its cool. No games, it is what it is.
That's where it becomes complicated. How can you not like someone who you get along with so well, communicate well, super honest from the start. We made plans to just "hang out" this week, no short term needs being met.... So we're what we are, and yet we hang out casually?
Ya, It's Complicated.
I'm glad I'm not alone on this. I've dating exclusively in the past and for many many years. I thought, you meet, you like, you date, you're dating, then you're exclusive. I don't remember dating more than one person ever til I turn 30. Then all of a sudden, I'm dating several men. Sometimes none.
I could say, I'll change my ways, cos I really don't dig dating more than two men at time, and my old rule was, once intimate, you were exclusive.
Those rules don't apply anymore. As much as I could live by them, the men I'm dating do not. So whats the point?
Maybe I'll start dating men from a church. Or from the far east like Nova Scotia, Halifax. Anyone I've met further east than Ontario, seem to have a whole other set of rules, manners, principles, morals that I Love!!
One problem... those men are already taken!
"It's complicated" now has a whole new meaning to me, a life of its own. Its a phrase/word that its self explanatory to most who have ever been in this sort of position. It's a complete sentence, it's a whole story. Two little words.
IT'S COMPLICATED.
Kidding.
I've been reading some dating blogs and a one that writes to me,
"Dating without Drama" Not sure how I ended up on this mailing list, but I'm glad I did. Some very valuable infor there.
As it turns out, I'm normal.
With my thoughts of confusion, giddiness, indifference's, etc... its all normal when it comes to dating.
The phrase/status people use to describe their relationships "It's complicated" makes more sense to me now than ever before.
New guy - D.R.
He's also 26, short, but works in stem cell research.
(ya ya I hear Mrs Robinson playing in the background)
I could see myself "dating" this guy. But we've started off as something more, errr I mean less meaningful. Too put it politely, he's meeting my short term needs. ;P
We get along great! He lives in town, texts me, calls, me, says HI for no reason.
We've disgusted exactly what we are, and its cool. No games, it is what it is.
That's where it becomes complicated. How can you not like someone who you get along with so well, communicate well, super honest from the start. We made plans to just "hang out" this week, no short term needs being met.... So we're what we are, and yet we hang out casually?
Ya, It's Complicated.
I'm glad I'm not alone on this. I've dating exclusively in the past and for many many years. I thought, you meet, you like, you date, you're dating, then you're exclusive. I don't remember dating more than one person ever til I turn 30. Then all of a sudden, I'm dating several men. Sometimes none.
I could say, I'll change my ways, cos I really don't dig dating more than two men at time, and my old rule was, once intimate, you were exclusive.
Those rules don't apply anymore. As much as I could live by them, the men I'm dating do not. So whats the point?
Maybe I'll start dating men from a church. Or from the far east like Nova Scotia, Halifax. Anyone I've met further east than Ontario, seem to have a whole other set of rules, manners, principles, morals that I Love!!
One problem... those men are already taken!
"It's complicated" now has a whole new meaning to me, a life of its own. Its a phrase/word that its self explanatory to most who have ever been in this sort of position. It's a complete sentence, it's a whole story. Two little words.
IT'S COMPLICATED.
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Do's & Dont's "Manners on a Date"
It’s the day before the Easter long weekend starts and I don’t think I’ve been this bored since Xmas.
So while reading another blog and trying to look busy, I came across a blog on manners.
What about dating manners? Do’s and Don’t of manners on a date.
The below list are some things I consider to be good manners.
Maybe call me old fashion.
These “manners” are what I would expect in a nice restaurant…..
Now at a pub, I still expect the same but with less formality:
- While being escorted to your table in the restaurant, the man should let you walk first, and then he is behind you and ready to pull your chair out for you.
- When you stand up to excuse yourself, the man should stand with you and rise again upon your return (formal dining only) of you should be excusing yourself politely too.. not saying, “brb I have pee”.
- No cell phones on dates!!!!!
- Do wait for both parties to be served their meals (or group) before digging in.
- If he’s driving and drops you off at home, he should wait til you’re in your front door of your house/apt, before he drives away….
(this one is actually a deal breaker for me at any level of a date)
Now depending on how adventurous you are and how well you and your date know each other, here are some fun, but well mannered things to do/try:
- Do Let the man order for you.
- Do Let him pay - I’m all for equality etc, but men do like feeling like they are taking care of you.
- Do Let him refill your wine glass or order you another one.
Then of course there are all the basic’s
(so you’d think) Do’s and Dont’s that should be part of any date regardless of how formal or casual it may be:
- Don’t talk about ex relationships.
- Don’t talk on your cell.
- Don’t get drunk.
- Don’t ask your date to drive the two of you home in his car.
(see don’t get drunk)
- Do be on time.
- Do (him) walk curbside if you’re taking a stroll etc.
- Do open doors etc..
Of course I’m not saying to be a princess or a diva about any of this, I think these are common sense things to pay attention too….
Would love for everyone to give their versions, add/subtract based on casual vs. formal dates. Please ask your male counter parts for their opinions.
I know dating in general has become uber casual overall, but then, so have manners.
My best dining date so far was with a guy 10 years my junior. We only went to a upscale pub, but his manners made an ever lasting impression on me.
He let me walk first, ordered dinner for me (more of a dare), took control of the table, noticed when my drink was low etc.
The one part that still makes me smile, was, while we were being shown to our table, he slipped the waitress his credit card before we were even seated.
He never knew I saw, but man did it impress the pants of me....
We're still friends and he now knows that I knew about that... :) and to think he was only 25.
So while reading another blog and trying to look busy, I came across a blog on manners.
What about dating manners? Do’s and Don’t of manners on a date.
The below list are some things I consider to be good manners.
Maybe call me old fashion.
These “manners” are what I would expect in a nice restaurant…..
Now at a pub, I still expect the same but with less formality:
- While being escorted to your table in the restaurant, the man should let you walk first, and then he is behind you and ready to pull your chair out for you.
- When you stand up to excuse yourself, the man should stand with you and rise again upon your return (formal dining only) of you should be excusing yourself politely too.. not saying, “brb I have pee”.
- No cell phones on dates!!!!!
- Do wait for both parties to be served their meals (or group) before digging in.
- If he’s driving and drops you off at home, he should wait til you’re in your front door of your house/apt, before he drives away….
(this one is actually a deal breaker for me at any level of a date)
Now depending on how adventurous you are and how well you and your date know each other, here are some fun, but well mannered things to do/try:
- Do Let the man order for you.
- Do Let him pay - I’m all for equality etc, but men do like feeling like they are taking care of you.
- Do Let him refill your wine glass or order you another one.
Then of course there are all the basic’s
(so you’d think) Do’s and Dont’s that should be part of any date regardless of how formal or casual it may be:
- Don’t talk about ex relationships.
- Don’t talk on your cell.
- Don’t get drunk.
- Don’t ask your date to drive the two of you home in his car.
(see don’t get drunk)
- Do be on time.
- Do (him) walk curbside if you’re taking a stroll etc.
- Do open doors etc..
Of course I’m not saying to be a princess or a diva about any of this, I think these are common sense things to pay attention too….
Would love for everyone to give their versions, add/subtract based on casual vs. formal dates. Please ask your male counter parts for their opinions.
I know dating in general has become uber casual overall, but then, so have manners.
My best dining date so far was with a guy 10 years my junior. We only went to a upscale pub, but his manners made an ever lasting impression on me.
He let me walk first, ordered dinner for me (more of a dare), took control of the table, noticed when my drink was low etc.
The one part that still makes me smile, was, while we were being shown to our table, he slipped the waitress his credit card before we were even seated.
He never knew I saw, but man did it impress the pants of me....
We're still friends and he now knows that I knew about that... :) and to think he was only 25.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
General Update - Men - Work
WORK
As I wrote last week or so, we let a production company film a movie in our office. I mentioned that while setting up/tearing down how unprofessional and unorganized *I* thought they were.
3 days passed. A few crew members and cast got into it with our staff and a staff member who left in charge while the owners were away (big mistake)
Here is the run down of things that occurred:
~ They would argue in the office loudly if not yelling at each other.
~ Crew members swearing out loud while talking to each other.
(Must remember this is during our business hours)
~ Used our clothing samples from the showrooms after being strictly told NOT TO TOUCH OUR SAMPLES!
~Brought food/drinks into our showrooms. HUGE NO NO..
We’re not even allowed to have food/drinks in the showrooms.
The samples…. The deal was, they were allowed to use their own clothes on their hangers with their tags and place them IN FRONT of our clothes… we came in Thursday morning to find, OUR Clothes, on their hangers with their tags!!!! This is an issue cos when crews pack them up, they’ll end up with our summer/fall 09 collection. HELL NO!!
Anytime I had an issue with them, I politely asked them to pipe down and reminded them this is an active office and I answer the main switchboard and if any one of our clients were to complain in regards to any profanity they heard at the other end. I’d have no choice but to hold them (persons involved) responsible. They always apologized.
But I’m sure 90% of the staff had really serious ADHA.
Ok ready for the kicker?
The crew manager came in the other day to let us know that some of the cast and his staff were filing grievances with their unions against us.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH big breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
There is nothing we can do about that. They are entitled to that right.
However, this is not the first time we’ve allowed filming crews in our offices.
We have our own standing reputation and I’m sure that will come in handy for us.
~Being Samiantha.
As I wrote last week or so, we let a production company film a movie in our office. I mentioned that while setting up/tearing down how unprofessional and unorganized *I* thought they were.
3 days passed. A few crew members and cast got into it with our staff and a staff member who left in charge while the owners were away (big mistake)
Here is the run down of things that occurred:
~ They would argue in the office loudly if not yelling at each other.
~ Crew members swearing out loud while talking to each other.
(Must remember this is during our business hours)
~ Used our clothing samples from the showrooms after being strictly told NOT TO TOUCH OUR SAMPLES!
~Brought food/drinks into our showrooms. HUGE NO NO..
We’re not even allowed to have food/drinks in the showrooms.
The samples…. The deal was, they were allowed to use their own clothes on their hangers with their tags and place them IN FRONT of our clothes… we came in Thursday morning to find, OUR Clothes, on their hangers with their tags!!!! This is an issue cos when crews pack them up, they’ll end up with our summer/fall 09 collection. HELL NO!!
Anytime I had an issue with them, I politely asked them to pipe down and reminded them this is an active office and I answer the main switchboard and if any one of our clients were to complain in regards to any profanity they heard at the other end. I’d have no choice but to hold them (persons involved) responsible. They always apologized.
But I’m sure 90% of the staff had really serious ADHA.
Ok ready for the kicker?
The crew manager came in the other day to let us know that some of the cast and his staff were filing grievances with their unions against us.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH big breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
There is nothing we can do about that. They are entitled to that right.
However, this is not the first time we’ve allowed filming crews in our offices.
We have our own standing reputation and I’m sure that will come in handy for us.
~Being Samiantha.
Monday, 19 January 2009
Good Riddance and First Time a Wing Woman.
Not sure where to begin.
My first entry stated that I have had very little drama in my life.
My first entry stated that I have had very little drama in my life.
Since JV has moved in, I’ve been constantly questioned about my intentions, and if I’m canoodling a scheme with his ex girlfriend, to get back at him for cheating on her.
FIRST OF ALL! You weenie, I’m the one you cheated on her with!
(At the time I didn’t know he had a live in g/f) in any case why would I side with her when we’re building a rapport as friends?
Received my first serious complaint from the land lord about a party JV had this weekend til 6 AM! Umm not cool, we’re 36 not 16. Normally I probably wouldn’t care, but I like my neighbours and we watch out for each other. I have to do some damage control this week.
And more so, JV is moving out. Until yesterday I was sad about this news.
However, without giving details as this is a public blog. Turns out he has not been honest about anything and apparently has been miserable from day one.
I thought we were pals, could even be friends. But knowing what I’ve learned.
I couldn’t happier to see him go.
I thought about confronting him on what I now know, then thought…. really? Why bother?
The end result will still be the same. We’re not friends, nor will we ever be.
I don’t need friends like that; I wouldn’t treat my enemies that way.
I’ve deleted his number, and facebook from my account, and the second he hands over the keys to me when he moves out, I’m deleting and blocking his ass from my email account. FOREVER!
I’m surprised at myself and how well I’m dealing with it. I honestly thought I might dwell over it and try to work things out, cos everyone knows, I need more local friends. But no. I made a very healthy decision without much thought really. I’m not even mad. Being mad would imply that I care. I’m impressed with my own resilience in all this.
Okay – First time a Wing-woman!
I went out to see the amazing Adam Woodall Band Friday night. The band consist of Adam Woodall himself, (and Rosco band) Jesse tucker (Jessie Ferrell Band), Jesse Goodin (Jessie Ferrell Band) and Dave Hall (AWB & Rosco Bands).
The band always puts on a good show and plays a few times a week in a variety of venues.
People are always super friendly and mixed crowd of 19-50 year olds. Of course there is always one sour grape in the bunch, but usually overlooked while scoping out hot men and people watching or singing at the top of lungs along with the band in this small pub.
We go to these gigs, occasionally meet random people who end up becoming good friends over time. This night was no different. Before the night ends I've had a full pint spilled on me, then one bought for me. Hot firemen flirting with my friend, cos she yawned… in all it was a good night. I make one last trip to the loo before leaving and left my friend downstairs, when I came back a handful of very attractive firemen were telling us we must come to this other bar with them… umm OKAY! Why wouldn’t we?
We go, we get lost, we find the bar and the boys who seem sincere to see us.
Then head back to one of their apartments for a night cap. (Very out of character for me).
Funny thing is, the man flirting with my friend earlier is the one I’m connecting with.
Not sure when we traded off on them, or if they traded off.
Strong Scot accent and witty as all hell and mighty quick too… I couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s been three days and my cheeks still hurt.
It was becoming clear to me that my friend and this guy were getting a little “too cozy” so
I asked the one if he’d like some privacy with my friend, he lit up like a tree, YES MA”AM!
So I grabbed the wing man and told him we were moving into another room to give them some privacy, and ended up getting some smooches myself. Til *yawn* 7am.
So the wing man and wing-woman hook up. Giggle. Well not quite but we had a good time.
We had a good time for such a random night.
We’ve heard from these men since then, and may see them again if not at another AWB gig.
If anything, I’ve had more drama than I know what to do with.
and i'm not sure why this post looks the way it does after I publish it... weird.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Roommate-less, Finding a Boyfriend.
I've had a rough couple days. My oldest sister who is slightly mentally and physically disabled, has learned she has a "growth" in her intestines. So having learned that in the last couple days and then coming home today to learn my roommate is giving his notice!!!
Needless to say I'm a little bitchy.
Now he's taking it personally and acting like I'm being bitchy cos of him.
While getting his knickers in a knot, I tried telling him I do have OTHER things going on in my life. Sure, him giving me notice was just icing on the cake. He's convinced its all because he gave notice. ......I at first I tried to tell him otherwise, but its useless.
OF COURSE I want him to stay, he's a great roommate (although he's been acting a little "off" the last two weeks) and I like having a break in the rent.
So I took a bath to reflect this new information, immediately did my finances to make sure I"m still okay... I am. *phew* one less worry.
This is what I came up with.
Regardless of any nit-picking I COULD do, it comes down to this.
I'm sulking, mad, sad, and happy he's moving out, but the end result is I'm going to be alone again. I've been alone a long time, and until this past hour, I did not realize, I'm not just alone..... I'm lonely.
okay stop laughing.
I've lived alone for the majority of my life, and have enjoyed it. My space, my rules, my mess, having to answer to no one. etc... I've had male roommates, but never lived with a "boyfriend".
Instead of giving into his negative tude, I've decided to turn it into a positive.
Sooooooooooooo I've learned I'm ready to have a life with someone! Yup. Settle down!
I really like having someone to come home too, cook dinner, watch sports with, share my day with etc.
I'm ready.
Who knew having an a guy I dated briefly, who cheated on his g/f, live with me, could open my eyes to something so huge.
I'm 36, single, only minor baggage that could fit into a carry on bag, live alone, have a job, my own money (even if its very little) my own friends, a life of my own.
I want to start building a life with someone, together.
Okay as I read over this, it turns out its more of a rambling rant and not a statement that I was trying to make. But I'm sure you've gotten the picture.
So back to online dating, going out with almost anyone that asks me. Going to make some serious effort to find someone to date exclusively and not this "passing the time" with crap I've been doing.
I've dated about 40 men in the last 3 years and do you have any idea how many of those men were worthy of a second date, let alone worthy of dating exclusively?????
5. yes FIVE.
How many more frogs do I have to kiss, humour and reject before I find the one of MY dreams?
I have the face of the man I want.... just not the rest of him. sigh.
Input please.
sorry for being all over the place.
Needless to say I'm a little bitchy.
Now he's taking it personally and acting like I'm being bitchy cos of him.
While getting his knickers in a knot, I tried telling him I do have OTHER things going on in my life. Sure, him giving me notice was just icing on the cake. He's convinced its all because he gave notice. ......I at first I tried to tell him otherwise, but its useless.
OF COURSE I want him to stay, he's a great roommate (although he's been acting a little "off" the last two weeks) and I like having a break in the rent.
So I took a bath to reflect this new information, immediately did my finances to make sure I"m still okay... I am. *phew* one less worry.
This is what I came up with.
Regardless of any nit-picking I COULD do, it comes down to this.
I'm sulking, mad, sad, and happy he's moving out, but the end result is I'm going to be alone again. I've been alone a long time, and until this past hour, I did not realize, I'm not just alone..... I'm lonely.
okay stop laughing.
I've lived alone for the majority of my life, and have enjoyed it. My space, my rules, my mess, having to answer to no one. etc... I've had male roommates, but never lived with a "boyfriend".
Instead of giving into his negative tude, I've decided to turn it into a positive.
Sooooooooooooo I've learned I'm ready to have a life with someone! Yup. Settle down!
I really like having someone to come home too, cook dinner, watch sports with, share my day with etc.
I'm ready.
Who knew having an a guy I dated briefly, who cheated on his g/f, live with me, could open my eyes to something so huge.
I'm 36, single, only minor baggage that could fit into a carry on bag, live alone, have a job, my own money (even if its very little) my own friends, a life of my own.
I want to start building a life with someone, together.
Okay as I read over this, it turns out its more of a rambling rant and not a statement that I was trying to make. But I'm sure you've gotten the picture.
So back to online dating, going out with almost anyone that asks me. Going to make some serious effort to find someone to date exclusively and not this "passing the time" with crap I've been doing.
I've dated about 40 men in the last 3 years and do you have any idea how many of those men were worthy of a second date, let alone worthy of dating exclusively?????
5. yes FIVE.
How many more frogs do I have to kiss, humour and reject before I find the one of MY dreams?
I have the face of the man I want.... just not the rest of him. sigh.
Input please.
sorry for being all over the place.
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