I'm content. Really, I am!

Where did 2010 go? It's SEPTEMBER!
That's 107 days til Xmas or 6 pay-cheques, which ever you prefer, it still gets you there in the same amount of time.

It does not feel like the last 8 months have been 8 months.  It feels like weeks.
Broke up with D in December, LC moved in November and moved out in May. 
I feel like I've been busy busy with shit that I have no time for life. Which is not true.

This past year has been filled with sadness, turmoil, friendships ending, and suddenly I find myself, aware.
Aware that I've been single for 8 months. Not one real date. No casual or random hookups. And I'm not lonely!!! WTF! How did that happen? I'm okay with this? Yes, I am A-OKAY with this.

I'm okay with not being LC punching bag for her severe mood swings, nor her enabler anymore.
I'm okay with not hearing from D every week. Trying to "convince" me that I need to see him. And when he does call, it's been respectful and adult-like. WTH!?

I've been keeping myself busy with ME. MY life. Doing things that make ME happy.
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wow, I can not remember the last time I did anything for myself and not feel guilty on some level.
Like someone else would benefit from the extra cash I have ,or spare time, or spare room.
I'm still there for those who need me, but on my terms now. Not theirs.
Wow that sounds harsh and rude, it's not.

I've often heard people say, "Take care of you first", or "You can say No".
But to apply it to your own life, much harder than said. But I'm doing it. Without trying or over thinking it.
Someone calls and needs something from me, I quickly search the database in my head and configure if I can do without something so they don't have too and decide from there. Rather than just saying YES to everything and everyone without thinking about it first.

Wow I'm really making myself sound super selfish.
Maybe this is something I shouldn't be talking about, and just keep it to myself?

I'm content. I feel good about where I am in life at the moment. My friends who are my chosen family.
The loyalty of those friends. Not spending time or trying to stay in touch with those who make no effort in return. I'm content not chasing them down. If they are really friends, they will make effort on their own.
My job, my volunteer job, my wages, a little savings, even being overweight, knowing that I am working on it. I'm content.

Feels good to like who and where I am.
Wonder how long this will last?

With all this said, I feel I'm open to letting new experiences in. And not controlling every aspect of my life. Learning to relax and roll with it. It's fun and more exciting, so far.