At first I was a little miffed, but then it quickly occurred to me how rocky our friendship had been anyways.
If you remember I wrote about our one way street friendship here Friendship dynamics, again here Taking one for the team, Girlfriend codes.
I'm not really losing out on anything by her deleting me without the courtesy of a word (although not surprised). Who needs enemies when you have friends like this? I liked her though. She is a good time when we hang out, if it suits her. Otherwise I've always had a weary vibe about her and more so in the last year when I learned what she had done last Mother's Day.
One for all, all for one. Nope. One for one in her world.
I remember when I first met her at work, I distinctly remember thinking my first week.
She is someone who is only your friend if you have something she wants.
We became friends and that thought was thrown out the window.
Don't get me wrong, there have been many good times, but it doesn't balance her selfish thinking when it comes to priorities of friends. I'm sure there are things I do that drive her completely insane. Her biggest gripe with me that I'm fully aware of is this.
I'm needy. (her words) I have high demands for my standards of friends. In short, she has always felt I'm a high maintenance friend.
Ok then. Shoot me for thinking that treating others with kindness, respect, common courtesy and concerns about their lives makes me high maintenance, then so be it. I really don't want or needs friends who scam on men you're chatting with, and never make you a priority unless they have something to gain from it.
If I think back far enough, this all started going down hill 3 years ago when I got rid of my car. Funny, when I look back, it was always me driving to her house, unless we were going surfing or going to N.Van to see a gig, then she drove. But everything else in between, nope, not interested.
I wish her well and hope her luck doesn't continue to bit her in the ass as karma has been coming around full circle for her. She makes very very bad decisions with men. Not the kind of just revisiting an ex etc. The kind that put a rock through her oven (after she took him back a second time) for whatever reason.
Inviting random men over from bars, or online dating for one night stands (oh wait, a movie and snuggle) sometimes with her child sleeping in the next room. WHO DOES THAT!?
Before you all start to jump all over her behaviour, I understand how and why she made these decisions. I do not agree with them, but I understand what drove her there. Loneliness. It's crazy the bad decisions we'll make just to feel desired and comforted for a short bit. Although you'd think inviting someone over with your (at the time) young child in the next room would snap you out of that. Now her child is grown. (he's 11yrs old), she is still making bad decisions. Maybe this is why she stop being my friend? Cos I would voice my concern for her safety and have told her that her luck will run out and worse case scenario, her child will find her dead in the morning one day. Insert rock thru oven saga a few weeks later.
I'm not bitter and I do not wish her any ill will. I want her to be happy, find love that she so desperately wants and at the same time. I hope she gets back everything she puts out into the world and hopefully, hopefully, learns from it.
I've learned bits about myself from knowing you. So thank you for that.
Otherwise, See Ya Roxy, it's been interesting but not a great loss.
