8 days into 2010 has proven to be to be a positive start compared to last year.
8 days into 2009 I had already had two dates from hell. A roommate that was shadey, friends even worse.

Everyday in 2010 has been different for me. I'm not a morning person, ever, nor do I ever fake it.
As of lately, I've been waking up in a decent mood, pleasant even. *gasp*
I'm still sensitive to the cold, but have been finding it most relaxing to walk about (bundled up of course) with the cold air on my face and quite enjoying it.

Although my body feels like that of an 80yr old, my mind is energetic, and I really hope my body allows me to play along. I've been stretching, will start going to the gym, cos I really do not like the aches and pains my body has endured in the last two years as a result of hurting my back.
There are times when I'm sitting and NOTHING hurts, no aches, nothing.... and I think, cool lets go snowboarding! Then I get up to do something and walking hurts some days.

I think it would be safe to say I'll be going to physio this year, instead of the chiropractor as my recovery.
I love the chiropractor, however stopped going about 6 sessions into, when I started becoming tighter and losing the flexibility I had.

Friends and men have improved. I'm not dwelling on those who do no make me happy, and until recently, hadn't thought about the man I stopped seeing forever. (I only thought of him cos someone asked me about the situation)

Friends of the past have either stepped up or stepped off.  For those who chose to step off. So be it.
Not bitter, sad, angry, only indifferent.  What catches me off guard a little, is how little effort on my part it seems to take to move on. 

I'm normally one to fight to the bitter end to try and make a friendship or romantic relationship work.  This year, letting it/them all go without much dwelling or effort. Learned to let go at some point. FINALLY!

I've seen how much growth I've earned over the years, usually only when I look back to where I was and where currently am. Never while it's happening. feeling free of drama and others negativities is an amazing feeling, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Surrounding myself with great people. Although I might want to be your friend, and think you're great.... it may not be a compatiable fit.  Nothing anyone can do about that.

If relationships on any level are not mutual, there is no point trying to force the friendship or romance with that person.  Passing acquaintances or someone you spend only a small dose of time with. 
You're not a priorty friend who gets the intimate details of my day to day life.  Fair? I think so.

It's not meant to come across as rude, some relationships are meant to be short, long, etc, for whatever reason, (and I strongly believe in this) people come and go in and out of your life for a multitude of reasons. Hopefully we learn what those reasons where.

I like who I've become in the past year, and although the jounrey may have sucked, I'm here now and I like ME (Don't "they" say, you have to like/love yourself first before someone else will?)

Another Jen Lancaster Book ~ Such A Pretty Fat

I think again the title says it all.

I read my first JL book two weeks ago and now I'm addicted to her snarky,charismatic wit.

I began reading "Such A Pretty Fat" last night and couldn't put it down. I read at night to help me fall asleep. I guess this is my own fault for reading something great at bedtime!

Currently been making some small changes in life, joined a gym, got my BMI (which I may post so you can follow my progress or failure)making a list of 40 things to do before I turn 40 (3 yrs, living everyDAY(not life) to its fullest..... it's just an add boost of motivation to read about the rise and fall of dieting.

D-I-E-T is a four letter word people!!! I don't say it parse, I most certainly do NOT do it, although that MIGHT explain why I'm 5'2 and 203 lbs now, shapely and curvy, so I've always carried any additional girth well.
Yes I broke the 200 lbs seal...and didn't cry!

Not crying I think would have been a sign of denial. This way I'm mad at myself for letting it go for so long, and I even worked at a gym for 6 yrs and had a free membership. Know how many times I used the free mmbshp? Probably 6 months in total (spread out of course) more so when I had a trainer.

I'm not putting an amount of weight to lose in a certain timeline, fear that I'll lose motivation. I'll be working out Sunday -Wednesday for about 2 hours a night.
1 hr of cardio, 45 weights/full body workout, 15 cardio cool down.

of course I'll start off slow, and build up my endurance. having worked at a gym and not used it, I still manage to see people start all gungho and end up hurting themselves or get discouraged cos they can't do the things the guy beside them is doing. Who btw has probably been working out 5 days/wk for a few years.. so give yourself a break.

Another thing I learned/noticed about gym monkeys and regular users. NO ONE CARES what you look like! They are all there for the same reason, to get fit, be a healthier them. Surprisingly enough, the camaraderie is amazing as well.

I girl I worked with, about 4'11 and well over 200 lbs, in her early 20's, started working out and would cry often upon her return at lunch from the gym. She was convinced people were mocking her or laughing etc. She broke down once on the treadmill and I was amazed to see fellow members come to her support. In weeks to come, it was in the form of smiles, small talk, just a "you can do it" attitude and told her there will be days she wont do as well as others. listen to your body.

As much as I hate the cooperate evil empire when I worked there and still do, the members make up for so much more. This is the gym I joined.

Yes I'm aware, I went off topic and you're saying "what does the JL book have to do with you losing weight?"

My point is, I'm allowed to give myself permission to fail once in a while. It will be hard. There will be tears, many I'm sure. There will be swearing and talking in my head, how I'd like to shove a hose full of high calorie goop into the skinny bitch running on the treadmill next to me while I struggle to keep up a fast walk... is all normal.

It's the beginning of something new. Its never easy. No one likes change, well not at first.

My goal.... To be the skinny bitch running on a treadmill beside someone who is starting to exercise for the first time in a long time, or ever and giggle at the thought of the cursing that is occurring in her head. But I will always look at those newbies, smile and give an non patronizing encouraging word.

Update on the neighbouring Ferret

If you read back to the link (if it works - my first time using it)
FERRET IN THE APT! In january 2009

There is a hole underneath the baseboard in my spare room and a pet ferret entered the apt.... a month later I started getting eaten alive by bedbugs... (which has since been dealt with)

Moving forward to this past saturday, I'm putting around the apt before heading out to go shopping, and I can smell something funky near my front door. My shoes are in a closet there but I thought to myself, "there is no way that smell can be my shoes, just not possible"...

I left the apt,and the stench was enough to make you gag instantly. It was the neighbours apt! My first inital thought was, "omg she's died in there".
Turns out she MOVED OUT! and they were airing the apt out. I entered the suite taking a look around, (small apt) and it looks like the carpets had NEVER been cleaned, and a window in any room was probably NEVER opened in the 12 years she lived there... omg-the-funky-stench!!!

I always thought the reason the common property hallway area of the building on my floor smelt like garbage in the summer was cos the building was old and there was probably a dead rodent in the wall near my apt.... nope... it was HER APT!

Needless to say, the property management is going to renovate that suite.
my only concern is I get a neighbour that was as quiet as this one.. I mean NO ONE knew she'd even moved out,,, she was that quiet.

I liked her, but I will not miss her and her bedbug riddled ferret.

First Entry for 2009

Happy New Years to all!

I currently blog on another site, but its a private thing where I rant. This blog will be more positive, outgoing, comical, and user friendly for all that view it.

Recap on Dec 2008.

2008 was entertaining and full of drama. Drama is something I'm not use to having in my life, but I must say I've handled it with grace and maturity.

I've recently finished a p/t university course and passed with flying colours, surprised myself really. Dated a few men (many many more updates on my dating life) and took in a roommate, (previously dated him). SO far so good. he's tidy, quiet and respectful. Unfortunately he'll only be around for 2-4 months. Nice break in the rent though!!! :)

2009 has a lot to offer.
I'm truly surprised at this age, how the personal growth is a constant progress of changes that never seems to stop. Honestly, I though, I'd hit my 30's and have a pretty damn good idea of who I am, what I want from life etc.. But I've learned in the last 9 years, nothing is certain. EVER!!

I continue to grow, and look back and realize that this will never stop, so if I cant beat it.. join it!

I'm in my late 30's now and with the constant changes happening around me, death, life, celebrations, friends, new and old people coming and going from my life, and their experiences, etc all contribute to who I am, and who I will be as I grow older and much wiser as my views on life, the world, and people in general change. Its a progess in the works.. forever!

Things I'd like to work on in 2009:
more personal growth, maybe not anything anyone would notice but myself.
more dating experinces and MAYBE finding someone exclusive to date.
(cos gawd knows its been awhile).
closer and tighter relationships with those I love, and learning to let go of those who do not promote anything positive in my life.

I'll leave you with that for now, and future posts will always have a point to the story.... I hope ;p

Many Best Wishes for all of you and those I come to know here in Blogland.

Samiantha