HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!
Kiss 2010 goodbye, say adios to all the shitty
things that happened. But remember them
or you're likely to repeat them.
MAY 2011 BE FULL OF HILARIOUS MEMORIES!
XO
CHEERS!
XO
CHEERS!
Friday, 31 December 2010
Thursday, 30 December 2010
New Blog to Follow - Jessica Eats.
A girl (Spanker) I use to work with (I call her Spanker cos she'd spank my booty all the time) started a blog, about food!!!
Jessica Eats will be an amazing blog once she starts getting the post and pictures up.
This is not a recipe or how to, kind of blog! It is just a diary of what she eats and tries.
It will be fun and disgusting!!!
I only know this cos we've been facebook friends since she left our company and posts the best picture's of the items she will brave to shovel into her cake-hole.
Jessica has a stomach of steel most people would be jealous of!
She is a small person with the appetite of a 300 lb man. Bless her.
Check on her blog from time to time and see how it starts to progress.
I know I always look forward to the pictures on facebook.
Hope you'll enjoy it too.
Jessica Eats will be an amazing blog once she starts getting the post and pictures up.
This is not a recipe or how to, kind of blog! It is just a diary of what she eats and tries.
It will be fun and disgusting!!!
I only know this cos we've been facebook friends since she left our company and posts the best picture's of the items she will brave to shovel into her cake-hole.
Jessica has a stomach of steel most people would be jealous of!
She is a small person with the appetite of a 300 lb man. Bless her.
Check on her blog from time to time and see how it starts to progress.
I know I always look forward to the pictures on facebook.
Hope you'll enjoy it too.
On Friendships
On Friendships was written by SimplySolo and can not tell you how happy I am to see her step out of her comfort zone and take her own happiness and stories to be told, into her own hands. She made some excellent points about how much harder it is to make friends as adults than as when we were kids.
That post got me thinking to who I consider close friends.
Like Simplysolo and many others, I've had to let friendships go, and been let go.
I've just gotten to a point where I have to say, "see ya, thanks for the good times and memories, but you wont be missed" There is no point stressing over a friendship that did not work out.
Took me years to learn that. Why would I fight to save a friendship that no longer wants to be part of my life? Sure it always initially sucks to learn that someone you considered close, doesn't feel the same way.
For years I thought I did not get along with women. I found them to be caddy, bitchy, backstabbing, drama filled and exhausting. Then I learned I was befriending the wrong type of women. I was letting anyone who was nice to me, in my life. Big mistake. So I slowly took control over who I have in my life.
In the last 20 something years, I've had ppl come and go for a reason. Some where intense and short lived and others were slow and long lasting. Some were simply perfect, like kindred spirits who'd found each other again from a previous and life and you just pick up where you left off.
I use to think woes-is-me for failed relationships. What did I do wrong etc. Then it came to me from a book I was reading. Maybe I did not do anything wrong. I did not need to learn anything from that particular person. Instead, maybe they needed me for a lesson learned. (good or bad) and it was time to move on.
We always tend to think about what we got out of a friendship.
Sometimes it's not about us. (ya I know how granola I sound right now)
In the past couple years I've met some great people and completely by random.
Tink & Angela - I met at a hockey game at 4 rinks in Burnaby. (before it was 8 rinks) Our b/f's played for the same team. Once we learned we could indeed talk to one another, we were set. Once the team and b/f's went their separate ways over the years, us 3 stayed together. Through the death of parents, children, weddings, mental illness. It's been 15 years since we met. We're still friends.
Laurie - I met a reform school. Yes there is my BIG secret. I was a badass teenager.
We weren't bad kids parse, we were just a little too rowdy and got into trouble more often than others. We were completely miss understood. ;-) What I found funny about this particular reform school, is that they stuck 40 kids (our two classes) into the same room and expected us to behave. Are you kidding me?!
38 other kids who are just like you (some a little more deviant and evil) but we all liked to party, be wild and challenged authority. Best 4 months of my life as a teenager.
Some of those ppl never did get straight. For most of us, we did, well we just learned there is a time and place for everything. I'm still rowdy, but I pick and choose who I want to be a child with.
Laurie however, never grew up. She is still that 16 year old I met 23 years ago, and until this year, I never really noticed. Nov 09 - July 10 opened my eyes to all that. She never grew up. And people think I'm square, sweet and innocent.
KimM - I met in a hostel in Tofino while surfing. We shared a dorm room. I had just returned from a family reunion in a small town she was from. We bonded over that and Fortino's. Best supermarket on the planet!
For the week I was in Tofino we invited Kim to join us (she had no car there) to dinner, the beach, and to just chill with us. A year later she came to visit me in Vancouver and we went to the Island to meet some guy I had met online. The 4 of us camped for mine and DG's first date, in the rain. Looking at all of us, you'd never know Kim and I had only seen each other once before a year earlier. A year after that Kim moved to Vancouver. We've been friends 5 years. Sidenote: although I did not get a b/f out of the deal, Kim however stayed in contact with these two guys and one is now her server provider for her company site. :)
J9 - Applied for a position within my company. Advising her she was extremely over qualified she went on her way. She'd touch base to see if there were any suitable opportunities. Then we just started emailing each other on a personal level, started hanging out. We've been friends 3 years.
Sheyla - A rep with our company. She would come in and always pay me all sorts of compliments. At first I thought she was seriously crushing on me. When she learned I had completed my intro to full cycle accounting and passed, she brought me a little gift. She had bonded with me long before I returned the admiration. Since then, we've bonded outside of work. I bought my couch, bed and big screen TV from her. I've hosted a dinner in November for her and her husband etc. We've been actual friends a year now. Although she would say 3.
My Fedex Drivers - We've befriended each other outside of work.
Cris & Kim O - I met on a dare. A guy was checking out Cris and guessing her age. KimM and I were playing $2 dares. Pot on the table was $8. I was dared to go ask Cris her age without revealing the guy wanted to know. He guessed she was 32. I said 35.
Walked over to the table, excused myself and asked them first not to punch me after I asked the following question. I asked, she told. We were both wrong. She was 47. WOW! We've been friends ever since.
She's 50 now and looks not one day over 35. seriously.
There have been many others but you get my point.
It happens. Step outside your comfort zone and great things can happen. :)
Of course when I say "friends" in regards to these people, I mean we share intimate details, support one another in life etc. Not just passing acquaintances that so many people refer to as friends.
It's not a perfect science and we all will continue to misjudge people from time to time.
That post got me thinking to who I consider close friends.
Like Simplysolo and many others, I've had to let friendships go, and been let go.
I've just gotten to a point where I have to say, "see ya, thanks for the good times and memories, but you wont be missed" There is no point stressing over a friendship that did not work out.
Took me years to learn that. Why would I fight to save a friendship that no longer wants to be part of my life? Sure it always initially sucks to learn that someone you considered close, doesn't feel the same way.
For years I thought I did not get along with women. I found them to be caddy, bitchy, backstabbing, drama filled and exhausting. Then I learned I was befriending the wrong type of women. I was letting anyone who was nice to me, in my life. Big mistake. So I slowly took control over who I have in my life.
In the last 20 something years, I've had ppl come and go for a reason. Some where intense and short lived and others were slow and long lasting. Some were simply perfect, like kindred spirits who'd found each other again from a previous and life and you just pick up where you left off.
I use to think woes-is-me for failed relationships. What did I do wrong etc. Then it came to me from a book I was reading. Maybe I did not do anything wrong. I did not need to learn anything from that particular person. Instead, maybe they needed me for a lesson learned. (good or bad) and it was time to move on.
We always tend to think about what we got out of a friendship.
Sometimes it's not about us. (ya I know how granola I sound right now)
In the past couple years I've met some great people and completely by random.
Tink & Angela - I met at a hockey game at 4 rinks in Burnaby. (before it was 8 rinks) Our b/f's played for the same team. Once we learned we could indeed talk to one another, we were set. Once the team and b/f's went their separate ways over the years, us 3 stayed together. Through the death of parents, children, weddings, mental illness. It's been 15 years since we met. We're still friends.
Laurie - I met a reform school. Yes there is my BIG secret. I was a badass teenager.
We weren't bad kids parse, we were just a little too rowdy and got into trouble more often than others. We were completely miss understood. ;-) What I found funny about this particular reform school, is that they stuck 40 kids (our two classes) into the same room and expected us to behave. Are you kidding me?!
38 other kids who are just like you (some a little more deviant and evil) but we all liked to party, be wild and challenged authority. Best 4 months of my life as a teenager.
Some of those ppl never did get straight. For most of us, we did, well we just learned there is a time and place for everything. I'm still rowdy, but I pick and choose who I want to be a child with.
Laurie however, never grew up. She is still that 16 year old I met 23 years ago, and until this year, I never really noticed. Nov 09 - July 10 opened my eyes to all that. She never grew up. And people think I'm square, sweet and innocent.
KimM - I met in a hostel in Tofino while surfing. We shared a dorm room. I had just returned from a family reunion in a small town she was from. We bonded over that and Fortino's. Best supermarket on the planet!
For the week I was in Tofino we invited Kim to join us (she had no car there) to dinner, the beach, and to just chill with us. A year later she came to visit me in Vancouver and we went to the Island to meet some guy I had met online. The 4 of us camped for mine and DG's first date, in the rain. Looking at all of us, you'd never know Kim and I had only seen each other once before a year earlier. A year after that Kim moved to Vancouver. We've been friends 5 years. Sidenote: although I did not get a b/f out of the deal, Kim however stayed in contact with these two guys and one is now her server provider for her company site. :)
J9 - Applied for a position within my company. Advising her she was extremely over qualified she went on her way. She'd touch base to see if there were any suitable opportunities. Then we just started emailing each other on a personal level, started hanging out. We've been friends 3 years.
Sheyla - A rep with our company. She would come in and always pay me all sorts of compliments. At first I thought she was seriously crushing on me. When she learned I had completed my intro to full cycle accounting and passed, she brought me a little gift. She had bonded with me long before I returned the admiration. Since then, we've bonded outside of work. I bought my couch, bed and big screen TV from her. I've hosted a dinner in November for her and her husband etc. We've been actual friends a year now. Although she would say 3.
My Fedex Drivers - We've befriended each other outside of work.
Cris & Kim O - I met on a dare. A guy was checking out Cris and guessing her age. KimM and I were playing $2 dares. Pot on the table was $8. I was dared to go ask Cris her age without revealing the guy wanted to know. He guessed she was 32. I said 35.
Walked over to the table, excused myself and asked them first not to punch me after I asked the following question. I asked, she told. We were both wrong. She was 47. WOW! We've been friends ever since.
She's 50 now and looks not one day over 35. seriously.
There have been many others but you get my point.
It happens. Step outside your comfort zone and great things can happen. :)
Of course when I say "friends" in regards to these people, I mean we share intimate details, support one another in life etc. Not just passing acquaintances that so many people refer to as friends.
It's not a perfect science and we all will continue to misjudge people from time to time.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Christmas 2011 in Tofino - Who's in?
I've decided, today that next Christmas will be spent in Tofino.
I would love nothing more than my friends (my chosen family) and those of you from my here blog-o-sphere family to join in.
Below are some links to the most ridiculously beautiful places in Tofino.
Of course there are pet friendly and cheaper hotel/cabins/houses to rent etc.
Who might be interested? If we can get let's say 6 ppl (the more the merrier though) let's have this booked and paid for by June/July. Yes that early, Tofino fills up fast all year around.
Middle Beach Lodge - Mackenzie Beach (moderate in price)
Wichininnisha Inn (ridiculously expensive)
Long Beach Resort (higher moderate in price)
There are of course houses to rent on Chesterman Beach
My Tofino Cabin Rentals (not all of these are ocean front or in Tofino Town)
Chestman Beach Rentals (I've emailed a few already to see what the rates would be for a minimum of 4-6 ppl to start with taxes etc.)
So ppl, what do you say? Input?
I would love nothing more than my friends (my chosen family) and those of you from my here blog-o-sphere family to join in.
Below are some links to the most ridiculously beautiful places in Tofino.
Of course there are pet friendly and cheaper hotel/cabins/houses to rent etc.
Who might be interested? If we can get let's say 6 ppl (the more the merrier though) let's have this booked and paid for by June/July. Yes that early, Tofino fills up fast all year around.
Middle Beach Lodge - Mackenzie Beach (moderate in price)
Wichininnisha Inn (ridiculously expensive)
Long Beach Resort (higher moderate in price)
There are of course houses to rent on Chesterman Beach
My Tofino Cabin Rentals (not all of these are ocean front or in Tofino Town)
Chestman Beach Rentals (I've emailed a few already to see what the rates would be for a minimum of 4-6 ppl to start with taxes etc.)
So ppl, what do you say? Input?
Recovering from the Holidays
Hope everyone had a great holiday. No matter what you did.
As lonely as it can be, it's just a day.
I went to the Island again this year as I usually do. As the years pass we've decided to spend less and less on gifts. This year, we chose not to do gifts. :) Instead we planned to donate blood. :)
That said, the appointments were all full and the people I was going to do this with did not get back from Cowichan in time.
Too lazy to give you a whole story, so you'll get my 5 day visit in point form:
*Arrived early on the 23rd, napped for 5 hours before anyone was home. :)
*Christmas eve, myself and the host helped move her friends new 52in tv from store to home. Okay I didn't help at all, I sat in the truck. Easier that way as I would have just gotten in the way.
*Went to the pub afterwards, fully expecting to pay for myself, and this person picked up the tab for all of us. Nice.
*Stopped by the Esquimalt base to visit a friend on 24 duty, and look at the lights. All the ships put up Christmas lights. It never gets old to go on the ships for me. Mostly cos I get to go where the public can not.
*Christmas eve dinner at friends. Amazing food. Until we all got violently ill at some point in the night. It was good going down though.
*Christmas Day, we all slept in til 9-10am, had coffee and breakfast then went back to bed. lol
*Christmas Day night, dinner with friends over at our house. :)
*Boxing Day headed to Saanich Inlet (Brentwood) had too much to drink, listened to shitty music, played cards, ate different dishes that everyone brang. (No turkey) it was great!
*Headed home on the 27th. A friend picked me up on the other side, ran some errands, and randomly got fitted for a sleeping bag. I'm in love with this bag... who knew you could try them on!?
*28th, slept in!!!! 12 hours. Got up at 11am. Although that did not stop my phone from ringing starting at 7am, on my day off!!!! grrrrr
*29th. dentist apt on the way back to work. OWE!
Next year, I think I'm going to go to Tofino for Christmas.
Who's up for a random adventure this time next year!???
Wickaninnish Inn anyone?? Ok okay, or something way less expensive but with the same views?
Seriously!!! Let's make this happen.
As lonely as it can be, it's just a day.
I went to the Island again this year as I usually do. As the years pass we've decided to spend less and less on gifts. This year, we chose not to do gifts. :) Instead we planned to donate blood. :)
That said, the appointments were all full and the people I was going to do this with did not get back from Cowichan in time.
Too lazy to give you a whole story, so you'll get my 5 day visit in point form:
*Arrived early on the 23rd, napped for 5 hours before anyone was home. :)
*Christmas eve, myself and the host helped move her friends new 52in tv from store to home. Okay I didn't help at all, I sat in the truck. Easier that way as I would have just gotten in the way.
*Went to the pub afterwards, fully expecting to pay for myself, and this person picked up the tab for all of us. Nice.
*Stopped by the Esquimalt base to visit a friend on 24 duty, and look at the lights. All the ships put up Christmas lights. It never gets old to go on the ships for me. Mostly cos I get to go where the public can not.
*Christmas eve dinner at friends. Amazing food. Until we all got violently ill at some point in the night. It was good going down though.
*Christmas Day, we all slept in til 9-10am, had coffee and breakfast then went back to bed. lol
*Christmas Day night, dinner with friends over at our house. :)
*Boxing Day headed to Saanich Inlet (Brentwood) had too much to drink, listened to shitty music, played cards, ate different dishes that everyone brang. (No turkey) it was great!
*Headed home on the 27th. A friend picked me up on the other side, ran some errands, and randomly got fitted for a sleeping bag. I'm in love with this bag... who knew you could try them on!?
*28th, slept in!!!! 12 hours. Got up at 11am. Although that did not stop my phone from ringing starting at 7am, on my day off!!!! grrrrr
*29th. dentist apt on the way back to work. OWE!
Next year, I think I'm going to go to Tofino for Christmas.
Who's up for a random adventure this time next year!???
Wickaninnish Inn anyone?? Ok okay, or something way less expensive but with the same views?
Seriously!!! Let's make this happen.
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
Note to yourself 10 years ago
I've noticed a theme among many blogs this morning. Reflection. Notes to younger self. et cetra.
I would love to say I could write a note to myself, what to expect in the coming years ,but I can not.
I'm still living it. It's something new every year and although I can look back and reflect at my own growth, its still a constant process of change.
I think I would probably tell myself the following things:
*Change is good embrace it, even when you don't want to. It opens doors, lots of them.
*Believe in yourself more, your mental health, and judgement more solidly, its rarely proven you wrong.
*Stop dating the Douche bag and never return a call, ever. He will break your heart, repeatedly.
Had I written that to myself, I wouldn't have gained the knowledge from making those mistakes and becoming the woman I am today.
Today I would write something more along the lines of:
*You're going to make mistakes, lots of them. Learn from them.
*You do not need to hold onto boyfriends, or friendships longer than their expiry dates, they'll poison you.
*Change is still good, embrace it. Doors will open for you in the form of better friends, stronger relationships, better job security, self respect, self awareness, and dignity.
*High school drama's still exists at 40. Same shit, different pile, just with better clothes and more money.
*Remain young at heart, age is only a number.
Looking back, I'm thankful for my mistakes. I do not regret my past. It's made for a colourful and rich history which I will continue to learn from and continue to share with you and others via the blog-o-sphere.
What would the note to your younger self say?
I would love to say I could write a note to myself, what to expect in the coming years ,but I can not.
I'm still living it. It's something new every year and although I can look back and reflect at my own growth, its still a constant process of change.
I think I would probably tell myself the following things:
*Change is good embrace it, even when you don't want to. It opens doors, lots of them.
*Believe in yourself more, your mental health, and judgement more solidly, its rarely proven you wrong.
*Stop dating the Douche bag and never return a call, ever. He will break your heart, repeatedly.
Had I written that to myself, I wouldn't have gained the knowledge from making those mistakes and becoming the woman I am today.
Today I would write something more along the lines of:
*You're going to make mistakes, lots of them. Learn from them.
*You do not need to hold onto boyfriends, or friendships longer than their expiry dates, they'll poison you.
*Change is still good, embrace it. Doors will open for you in the form of better friends, stronger relationships, better job security, self respect, self awareness, and dignity.
*High school drama's still exists at 40. Same shit, different pile, just with better clothes and more money.
*Remain young at heart, age is only a number.
Looking back, I'm thankful for my mistakes. I do not regret my past. It's made for a colourful and rich history which I will continue to learn from and continue to share with you and others via the blog-o-sphere.
What would the note to your younger self say?
Monday, 20 December 2010
Museum Crazy C Update
This past Friday I had a great day at the museum. A first in a long time.
The curator and I were working together etc and he asked if I was going to miss my weekly drink with CC?
I rolled my eyes, smiled and whispered I was glad for the break. *wink*
3 hours went by swimmingly and as everyone left we were left behind to finish up some things we'd started that take two people etc. I mentioned I knew it went without saying, but to please not mention what I said about needing a break. As great and perceptive he is, he initiated a chat.
Without giving him intimate details, I explained the situation.
His first concern was that this issue would cause me to want to leave my volunteer position with the museum. I mentioned it had crossed my mind a few times. But wasn't ready to be defeated like that.
R-C stressed in a very positive way, if that was indeed the case, or I felt that was my only solution at any point, then he would make some changes. (wow feeling the love).
He also then assumed that my change within the company, was not only, did I want to explore other venues within the museum, but at the same time the new position would make me less available for CC to access my presence while I'm there. Totally nailed it! (Gawd I love smart people).
That said, I'm thoroughly enjoying my new position more than I anticipated I would. He was thrilled to hear that. Not only cause volunteers are hard to hold onto, but they enjoy my company. Which at one point in the past I was led to believe I was just a buffer for a break from the crazy.
His guidance had strongly suggested that he'd been through this particular concern before with others in the past, and gave me some tools to handle her. Tools I wouldn't have thought to use. :)
Knowing I have back up and support from someone in power will make the process easier.
I'm feeling a whole lot better about how to handle her now.
:)
The curator and I were working together etc and he asked if I was going to miss my weekly drink with CC?
I rolled my eyes, smiled and whispered I was glad for the break. *wink*
3 hours went by swimmingly and as everyone left we were left behind to finish up some things we'd started that take two people etc. I mentioned I knew it went without saying, but to please not mention what I said about needing a break. As great and perceptive he is, he initiated a chat.
Without giving him intimate details, I explained the situation.
His first concern was that this issue would cause me to want to leave my volunteer position with the museum. I mentioned it had crossed my mind a few times. But wasn't ready to be defeated like that.
R-C stressed in a very positive way, if that was indeed the case, or I felt that was my only solution at any point, then he would make some changes. (wow feeling the love).
He also then assumed that my change within the company, was not only, did I want to explore other venues within the museum, but at the same time the new position would make me less available for CC to access my presence while I'm there. Totally nailed it! (Gawd I love smart people).
That said, I'm thoroughly enjoying my new position more than I anticipated I would. He was thrilled to hear that. Not only cause volunteers are hard to hold onto, but they enjoy my company. Which at one point in the past I was led to believe I was just a buffer for a break from the crazy.
His guidance had strongly suggested that he'd been through this particular concern before with others in the past, and gave me some tools to handle her. Tools I wouldn't have thought to use. :)
Knowing I have back up and support from someone in power will make the process easier.
I'm feeling a whole lot better about how to handle her now.
:)
End of the Year.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAPPY HANUKKAH!
HAPPY QUANZA!
WHATEVER YOU MAY CELEBRATE, MAY YOU BE SURROUNDED BY
YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS WHO ARE YOUR
CHOSEN FAMILY!
BE GOOD TO OTHERS, BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!
HERE'S TO ALL OF YOU TO A NEW YEAR!
TO BETTER ADVENTURES, MORE LOVE
AND SHIT AND GIGGLES.
ALL THE BEST TO MY BLOG-O-SPHERE FAMILY!
MUCH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING.
XO
~JUST SAYING.
8 Years Overdue.
I had my first dentist appointment today in 8 years.
I've grown up with genetically crooked teeth. I've had them pulled (18 in total), cavities filled, braces. I had too many teeth for my mouth and still have more than the normal. Thankfully now I have beautiful teeth.
So I have beautiful teeth now. Straight, white, clean. I take care of them, but considering all the time I've logged in the chair since I was a wee child, you'd think I'd do my duty and go for a checkup twice a year. Nope.
Surprisingly today's appointment went extremely well. I still have the same hygienist from 8 years ago and we just picked up where we left off. Caught up on our lives etc. I actually like my dentist. He's cool, handsome, always smells good and is up on current topics. He specializes in children care, so you know he's got a great chair side manner and is ridiculously gentle.
The outcome.... I have 1 cavity. A small one. And since my health coverage at work is pretty great, my filling in porcelain will also be covered as a regular filling, not a cosmetic one. Score!
Most of my time in the chair over many decades hasn't been for cavities thankfully, but mostly to rid of extra teeth and straightening them.
I go back next week to finish the cleaning and get that filling. That will require drugs to calm me, as I've never been good at getting freezed and being drilled. :(
I've grown up with genetically crooked teeth. I've had them pulled (18 in total), cavities filled, braces. I had too many teeth for my mouth and still have more than the normal. Thankfully now I have beautiful teeth.
So I have beautiful teeth now. Straight, white, clean. I take care of them, but considering all the time I've logged in the chair since I was a wee child, you'd think I'd do my duty and go for a checkup twice a year. Nope.
Surprisingly today's appointment went extremely well. I still have the same hygienist from 8 years ago and we just picked up where we left off. Caught up on our lives etc. I actually like my dentist. He's cool, handsome, always smells good and is up on current topics. He specializes in children care, so you know he's got a great chair side manner and is ridiculously gentle.
The outcome.... I have 1 cavity. A small one. And since my health coverage at work is pretty great, my filling in porcelain will also be covered as a regular filling, not a cosmetic one. Score!
Most of my time in the chair over many decades hasn't been for cavities thankfully, but mostly to rid of extra teeth and straightening them.
I go back next week to finish the cleaning and get that filling. That will require drugs to calm me, as I've never been good at getting freezed and being drilled. :(
Friday, 17 December 2010
Day 37
SURPRISE!!!!! Womanhood arrived.
Definately late due to the thyroid meds being changed.
.... That is all.
Definately late due to the thyroid meds being changed.
.... That is all.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Wealthy Wilma's & The Smart Cookies
Wealthy Wilma's & Smart Cookies are financial groups, for women by women.
They make understanding your finances easier, and teach you in layman's terms how to manage your finances like the big boys. But in Pink!!! ;-)
My friend Kim introduced me to the Wealthy Wilma's book club a year or so ago as a close friend of hers started this group after the unfortunate and sudden passing of her father. Read that story (under WHY?), seriously, it will set a fire under your butt and for the ever simplest reasons. Be your own provider.
I never attended cos I was, well, intimidated to attend with women who I already found to be successful. What did they need help with? Making MORE money? ptfff.
I listen to Kim tell me all sort of success stories that these ladies were accomplishing from the tools they received from these book clubs. I still felt the anxieties of having to read a book in a certain amount of time then sit around and talk about it? No thanks! I imagine a scene from Jerry McGuire. His g/f's living room being full of angry, miserable women, bitching about their lives. The look on his face upon entering is the same look I have at the mere thought of attending one of these book meetings.
So I decided last year to take some of the tools I learned from Kim, the website and the other finance groups for women, by women. Slowly reading the websites, taking bits and pieces of infor I knew I could apply to my life and see how it works. Then apply the next phase etc.
I obtained an accountant through H/R Blk who has been an amazing help with little things to write off. Clothes bought for work, transit passes, glasses as a medical expense on taxes, continuing education for books and tuition etc. Things I never knew about. Or previous tax places have not advised me of.
She suggested that I take any income return I do get and start a no touch savings account with that.
Nice thought, did I do it? No. I spent it. Won't do that twice. Next time it goes towards aggressively paying down more debt and the rest goes back into savings. In the last 4 years, I've been out of debt 3 times. But would like to remain out of debt.
Tired of being broke and having no emergency fund (a to do on my 40 before 40) nor a retirement plan. I set up a small amount of money to be withdrawn from one account into another every month, twice a month. An account that in high insight, I wouldn't touch. I did great at first. Super easy to save money. Until you dip into it. So I went back to the websites. More tools brought forward.
Learned little things like:
If you intended to spend say $150 on boots, and managed to get them on sale for $75.
You saved $75 dollars, right? WRONG!
You only saved that $75 dollars if you don't spend it on something else. That savings you earned on that sale, should go right back into your savings. Otherwise, you did not save a penny. That is where I found a lot of people, including myself, and btw, not just women...get into trouble.
Pay yourself first. Golden rule, so I'm told.
I'm doing it now. It's only 13% of my monthly income, but it's better than nothing.
What I'm learning is;
There is no wrong way to start saving money as long as you start, try, & experiment what works best for you. The only wrong way to do it, is to not do anything at all.
Today I was playing with my online banking options and laid out a plan.
*X* amount of money would automatically go into another account the second I got paid.
Scheduled the move of the monies so it happens instantly. I do not have to think about it.
*Y* amount of money was set up monthly to go towards a very high interest credit card. One that is not only killing me with the interest rates, its penalties for being over limit and late with payments. Holy shit.
- in addition to this, Saturday I will be calling this card company, advising them of my payment plan (with proof) and asking them to lower the interest rates. In addition, I think I might cancel this particular card.
*Z* I have to tell my brain I'm not bringing home a monthly amount of $$$ and readjust my thinking to that I only bring home $ now. That is minus the amounts that are now on an automatic schedule payment.
On paper this all looks good. I SHOULD, read SHOULD be able to pay all my other bills on time and slightly over the minimum amount due. Have the same amount of play money to spend every month etc.
Thank fully the savings account transfer is movable should I have to use it. But I tell myself, that is not an option.
It's going to be a tight year, in a different kind of way. But I'll have something to show for it at the end of the year. As I move forward and get the hang of this, I'll be speaking with an financial advisor at my bank and learn what I need to retire by a certain age. I do not like the idea of working til I'm old, but that is the sad reality for some. What if my health fails me and I'm unable to work? Then what?
These are all tools "they" should be teaching us in school. Not relying on parents to teach it, cos lets face it, how many parents out there think kids under the age of 18 should have to worry about stuff like this etc.
I was fortunate enough to have an Uncle that taught me a little about this stuff. I had savings. Enough for a large down payment on a house at the age of 22. Then I was audited.
As it turns out, my sister who was a self taught accountant had been doing my taxes since I was 17 etc. Instead of something going on line 14, it was on line 17.
How, HOW I ask you, did the government miss that error for 6 years?
Well they eventually caught it, and I had to pay back everything. EVERYTHING.
That took an additional 4 years. All my RSP,Saving Bonds, and GST for all those years.
Now I'm Broke. Then my mum passed away.
Needless to say, I never bounced back from that. And that sister does NOT do my taxes anymore.
Wish me luck and do yourself a favour and take control over your own fiances. Never think you can fall back on parents or family or that it will just all work out etc, cos like Bernadette you just never know.
They make understanding your finances easier, and teach you in layman's terms how to manage your finances like the big boys. But in Pink!!! ;-)
My friend Kim introduced me to the Wealthy Wilma's book club a year or so ago as a close friend of hers started this group after the unfortunate and sudden passing of her father. Read that story (under WHY?), seriously, it will set a fire under your butt and for the ever simplest reasons. Be your own provider.
I never attended cos I was, well, intimidated to attend with women who I already found to be successful. What did they need help with? Making MORE money? ptfff.
I listen to Kim tell me all sort of success stories that these ladies were accomplishing from the tools they received from these book clubs. I still felt the anxieties of having to read a book in a certain amount of time then sit around and talk about it? No thanks! I imagine a scene from Jerry McGuire. His g/f's living room being full of angry, miserable women, bitching about their lives. The look on his face upon entering is the same look I have at the mere thought of attending one of these book meetings.
So I decided last year to take some of the tools I learned from Kim, the website and the other finance groups for women, by women. Slowly reading the websites, taking bits and pieces of infor I knew I could apply to my life and see how it works. Then apply the next phase etc.
I obtained an accountant through H/R Blk who has been an amazing help with little things to write off. Clothes bought for work, transit passes, glasses as a medical expense on taxes, continuing education for books and tuition etc. Things I never knew about. Or previous tax places have not advised me of.
She suggested that I take any income return I do get and start a no touch savings account with that.
Nice thought, did I do it? No. I spent it. Won't do that twice. Next time it goes towards aggressively paying down more debt and the rest goes back into savings. In the last 4 years, I've been out of debt 3 times. But would like to remain out of debt.
Tired of being broke and having no emergency fund (a to do on my 40 before 40) nor a retirement plan. I set up a small amount of money to be withdrawn from one account into another every month, twice a month. An account that in high insight, I wouldn't touch. I did great at first. Super easy to save money. Until you dip into it. So I went back to the websites. More tools brought forward.
Learned little things like:
If you intended to spend say $150 on boots, and managed to get them on sale for $75.
You saved $75 dollars, right? WRONG!
You only saved that $75 dollars if you don't spend it on something else. That savings you earned on that sale, should go right back into your savings. Otherwise, you did not save a penny. That is where I found a lot of people, including myself, and btw, not just women...get into trouble.
Pay yourself first. Golden rule, so I'm told.
I'm doing it now. It's only 13% of my monthly income, but it's better than nothing.
What I'm learning is;
There is no wrong way to start saving money as long as you start, try, & experiment what works best for you. The only wrong way to do it, is to not do anything at all.
Today I was playing with my online banking options and laid out a plan.
*X* amount of money would automatically go into another account the second I got paid.
Scheduled the move of the monies so it happens instantly. I do not have to think about it.
*Y* amount of money was set up monthly to go towards a very high interest credit card. One that is not only killing me with the interest rates, its penalties for being over limit and late with payments. Holy shit.
- in addition to this, Saturday I will be calling this card company, advising them of my payment plan (with proof) and asking them to lower the interest rates. In addition, I think I might cancel this particular card.
*Z* I have to tell my brain I'm not bringing home a monthly amount of $$$ and readjust my thinking to that I only bring home $ now. That is minus the amounts that are now on an automatic schedule payment.
On paper this all looks good. I SHOULD, read SHOULD be able to pay all my other bills on time and slightly over the minimum amount due. Have the same amount of play money to spend every month etc.
Thank fully the savings account transfer is movable should I have to use it. But I tell myself, that is not an option.
It's going to be a tight year, in a different kind of way. But I'll have something to show for it at the end of the year. As I move forward and get the hang of this, I'll be speaking with an financial advisor at my bank and learn what I need to retire by a certain age. I do not like the idea of working til I'm old, but that is the sad reality for some. What if my health fails me and I'm unable to work? Then what?
These are all tools "they" should be teaching us in school. Not relying on parents to teach it, cos lets face it, how many parents out there think kids under the age of 18 should have to worry about stuff like this etc.
I was fortunate enough to have an Uncle that taught me a little about this stuff. I had savings. Enough for a large down payment on a house at the age of 22. Then I was audited.
As it turns out, my sister who was a self taught accountant had been doing my taxes since I was 17 etc. Instead of something going on line 14, it was on line 17.
How, HOW I ask you, did the government miss that error for 6 years?
Well they eventually caught it, and I had to pay back everything. EVERYTHING.
That took an additional 4 years. All my RSP,Saving Bonds, and GST for all those years.
Now I'm Broke. Then my mum passed away.
Needless to say, I never bounced back from that. And that sister does NOT do my taxes anymore.
Wish me luck and do yourself a favour and take control over your own fiances. Never think you can fall back on parents or family or that it will just all work out etc, cos like Bernadette you just never know.
Posts in the New Year......
....will consist more of the good, silly, shit and giggle times I neglected to write about in 2010.
More about how a few times a week, I nearly spit coffee out of my nose reading some blogs.
More about how I adore my friends, how great they are....well the ones that don't piss me off. ;-)
More about diets,boys men, building character, stepping out of my comfort zone.
Better body issues, dressing for my body type that it is currently, and having more positive things to say in support of those making change in their lives. Even if I'm scared of change myself. Shut up Kim, I can hear you chanting "change is good, embrace it".
Work on completing my 40 before 40 list within reason. Maybe start dating again.
Maybe even try the game - "Say YES to everything for a year". That would consist of going on dates(regardless of who asked), going to parties, concerts, dinners, just because hang outs, hikes with the giraffe woman who can skip up the grouse grind...just don't ask me to do the grind, it's not going to happen.
Just more about the daily shit and giggles that make me laugh. The new people coming into my life and those leaving it for good reason. Of course there will still be grips and venting about being allergic to stupidity, cos those are simply just fun to read.
Here's to a year of less drama and more healthy adventures. :)
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza.
Whatever you may celebrate, here's wishing you and yours a great new year.
xo
Just Saying.
More about how a few times a week, I nearly spit coffee out of my nose reading some blogs.
More about how I adore my friends, how great they are....well the ones that don't piss me off. ;-)
More about diets,
Better body issues, dressing for my body type that it is currently, and having more positive things to say in support of those making change in their lives. Even if I'm scared of change myself. Shut up Kim, I can hear you chanting "change is good, embrace it".
Work on completing my 40 before 40 list within reason. Maybe start dating again.
Maybe even try the game - "Say YES to everything for a year". That would consist of going on dates(regardless of who asked), going to parties, concerts, dinners, just because hang outs, hikes with the giraffe woman who can skip up the grouse grind...just don't ask me to do the grind, it's not going to happen.
Just more about the daily shit and giggles that make me laugh. The new people coming into my life and those leaving it for good reason. Of course there will still be grips and venting about being allergic to stupidity, cos those are simply just fun to read.
Here's to a year of less drama and more healthy adventures. :)
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Quanza.
Whatever you may celebrate, here's wishing you and yours a great new year.
xo
Just Saying.
2010 Jan - Dec Recap
January:
*Was pretty uneventful, aside from being licked from neck to temple, by a random stranger outside a country bar while standing in line for hot dogs while my friends pointed and laughed at me.
None of which came to my rescue.
*Had my best friend of 23 years move in with me November 2009. It's been an interesting time. Slowly turning into a saga.
*Recovering from breaking up with the Douche Bag after a long on/off again 13 years.
February:
*Vancouver, BC, Canada hosted the Olympics and we won the gold in men's hockey on the last day and the last event of the week.
*Decided to apply for a volunteer position at a local town museum.
Sound of Vancouver when Team Canada wins Men's Gold in Hockey
March:
*Had writers block and invited people to write on my behalf. Had no takers.
April:
*Discovered a close friend had a blog for the last couple years and never bothered to mention it.
Offended at first, but got over it upon reading her work. Excellent writer, as much as she is a person.
May:
*Got out of debt! (then got right back into debt a few months later).
*Really having issues with the best friend living with me.
Her unemployed b/f and the lies I slowly learned about. (Financial stability, taking advantage of me, taking over my whole apt, her b/f thinking, she the house guest, had more pull and say than I, the one that pays the rent, the bills, grocery bills, and makes it possible for both of them to avoid adulthood and life in general). No I'm not still bitter about that, can't you tell?
*Still think men are stupid for the most part.
*Got the position I applied for at the museum.
Only if I could have foreseen the crazy that would attach itself to me a few weeks later.
*Fell in love with the rain.
*With all the negativity surrounding me, I manage to pull through and take the higher road on a lot of things.
*Asked the house guest to move out upon her acting weird and sneaky, disappearing for weeks at a time with no word as to when she might return.
June:
*Surrounded by stupidity.
*Learned that men have very different views of what cheating is and isn't.
*Was depleted of all energy from the childish ongoing drama the house guest injected into every minute, hour, day, week, month of every waking hour. Still tried to take the higher road and find the good in everything. It became increasingly harder.
*Seriously started questioning whether I even wanted to be friends with her anymore after 23 years. Questioned the history we had and wondered if it was enough.
July:
*Went to the Island for 10 days, injured myself, and discovered my friend over there went from being corporate to granola.
*Douche Bag released me from his thoughts.
*Changed the blog name.
*Decided if I couldn't beat the house guest by taking the higher road, then she deserved to be fucked with a little bit. Gave her an indirect taste of her own medicine.
*Decided to end my friendship with the house guest, or at least put some distances between us.
*Learned she moved out while I was at work, no phone call, etc and later learned she was still entering the apt, until I changed the locks.
August:
*Updated my list of 40 things to do before turning 40.
*Lasted 9 days on Yaz. Birth control is not for me.
*Just a woes-is-me month, or more of a emotional melt down releasing all the bad energy I dealt with for the last 11 months.
September:
*General ramblings about whatever made me laugh that month.
October:
*Was defriended by someone who I was questioning their loyalty.
*Hot tubs and turkey.
*Scored a huge deal on a new pullout couch, king size bed and more recently a big screen TV.
*The Museum crazy has attached herself to me. Officially.
*My Favorite Uncle passed away.
November:
*Limited by the constant annoyances of people in general.
*Had a horrible allergic reaction.
*Become consumed by the daily actions of/for/by Museum Crazy C.
*Hosted a dinner with friends, for friends. Huge success!
*Health checkup - making some small changes for a greater/bigger picture. Sans Sugar.
December:
*Had no heat for 10 days during an Arctic snap.
*Fighting with the landlord aka slumlord in the making.
*Hate womanhood.
*Missed my period.
*Changed my thyroid meds.
*Decided the stars are off kilter.
*Experienced a night outside my comfort zone with a new crowd of people. None of which will make it into my regular group of friends.
All year long, received excellent advice from those I considered my devoted stalkers, A.K.A. The Blog-O-Sphere Family.
*Was pretty uneventful, aside from being licked from neck to temple, by a random stranger outside a country bar while standing in line for hot dogs while my friends pointed and laughed at me.
None of which came to my rescue.
*Had my best friend of 23 years move in with me November 2009. It's been an interesting time. Slowly turning into a saga.
*Recovering from breaking up with the Douche Bag after a long on/off again 13 years.
February:
*Vancouver, BC, Canada hosted the Olympics and we won the gold in men's hockey on the last day and the last event of the week.
*Decided to apply for a volunteer position at a local town museum.
Sound of Vancouver when Team Canada wins Men's Gold in Hockey
March:
*Had writers block and invited people to write on my behalf. Had no takers.
April:
*Discovered a close friend had a blog for the last couple years and never bothered to mention it.
Offended at first, but got over it upon reading her work. Excellent writer, as much as she is a person.
May:
*Got out of debt! (then got right back into debt a few months later).
*Really having issues with the best friend living with me.
Her unemployed b/f and the lies I slowly learned about. (Financial stability, taking advantage of me, taking over my whole apt, her b/f thinking, she the house guest, had more pull and say than I, the one that pays the rent, the bills, grocery bills, and makes it possible for both of them to avoid adulthood and life in general). No I'm not still bitter about that, can't you tell?
*Still think men are stupid for the most part.
*Got the position I applied for at the museum.
Only if I could have foreseen the crazy that would attach itself to me a few weeks later.
*Fell in love with the rain.
*With all the negativity surrounding me, I manage to pull through and take the higher road on a lot of things.
*Asked the house guest to move out upon her acting weird and sneaky, disappearing for weeks at a time with no word as to when she might return.
June:
*Surrounded by stupidity.
*Learned that men have very different views of what cheating is and isn't.
*Was depleted of all energy from the childish ongoing drama the house guest injected into every minute, hour, day, week, month of every waking hour. Still tried to take the higher road and find the good in everything. It became increasingly harder.
*Seriously started questioning whether I even wanted to be friends with her anymore after 23 years. Questioned the history we had and wondered if it was enough.
July:
*Went to the Island for 10 days, injured myself, and discovered my friend over there went from being corporate to granola.
*Douche Bag released me from his thoughts.
*Changed the blog name.
*Decided if I couldn't beat the house guest by taking the higher road, then she deserved to be fucked with a little bit. Gave her an indirect taste of her own medicine.
*Decided to end my friendship with the house guest, or at least put some distances between us.
*Learned she moved out while I was at work, no phone call, etc and later learned she was still entering the apt, until I changed the locks.
August:
*Updated my list of 40 things to do before turning 40.
*Lasted 9 days on Yaz. Birth control is not for me.
*Just a woes-is-me month, or more of a emotional melt down releasing all the bad energy I dealt with for the last 11 months.
September:
*General ramblings about whatever made me laugh that month.
October:
*Was defriended by someone who I was questioning their loyalty.
*Hot tubs and turkey.
*Scored a huge deal on a new pullout couch, king size bed and more recently a big screen TV.
*The Museum crazy has attached herself to me. Officially.
*My Favorite Uncle passed away.
November:
*Limited by the constant annoyances of people in general.
*Had a horrible allergic reaction.
*Become consumed by the daily actions of/for/by Museum Crazy C.
*Hosted a dinner with friends, for friends. Huge success!
*Health checkup - making some small changes for a greater/bigger picture. Sans Sugar.
December:
*Had no heat for 10 days during an Arctic snap.
*Fighting with the landlord aka slumlord in the making.
*Hate womanhood.
*Missed my period.
*Changed my thyroid meds.
*Decided the stars are off kilter.
*Experienced a night outside my comfort zone with a new crowd of people. None of which will make it into my regular group of friends.
All year long, received excellent advice from those I considered my devoted stalkers, A.K.A. The Blog-O-Sphere Family.
Tony Fouhse is amazing
I came across this site by Tony Foushe Crack Addicts of 2010 via my cousins wife to be.
At a first glance I was a little put off. Upon looking at more and more photos my mood changed.
Tony has been able to find beauty in a life many are unfortunate to be trapped in. The Crack Addict.
Watch the video (3 mins long) as he interviews a woman who chose to live on the streets starting at the age of 13 to escape an abusive home, and her life with crack. Her failed marriage and how she talks about her (now grown) children living with another family having a "normal life" and how she so badly wishes she could take back her choices and have that normalcy again. All said with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
In any of the clips you see how receptive people are when treated with respect, kindness and talked to like human beings with souls. Although their souls are cracked, and tortured, they all thrive for the basic needs, love.
In the last 16 hours since discovering Tony's site, I've added him to facebook and have become a huge huge fan of his work. His work is raw, touchy, sad, lonely, and beautiful.
It has opened my mind even more to a side of life we like to think doesn't exist.
I would very much love for him to come to Vancouver one day and do a project on the downtown east side.
I highly recommend you check out his work.
You may not like it, or even agree with it. I'm not asking you too. I am asking you though, to consider it.
If you take nothing from it, at least you opened your mind for a moment to ponder it.
At a first glance I was a little put off. Upon looking at more and more photos my mood changed.
Tony has been able to find beauty in a life many are unfortunate to be trapped in. The Crack Addict.
Watch the video (3 mins long) as he interviews a woman who chose to live on the streets starting at the age of 13 to escape an abusive home, and her life with crack. Her failed marriage and how she talks about her (now grown) children living with another family having a "normal life" and how she so badly wishes she could take back her choices and have that normalcy again. All said with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
In any of the clips you see how receptive people are when treated with respect, kindness and talked to like human beings with souls. Although their souls are cracked, and tortured, they all thrive for the basic needs, love.
In the last 16 hours since discovering Tony's site, I've added him to facebook and have become a huge huge fan of his work. His work is raw, touchy, sad, lonely, and beautiful.
It has opened my mind even more to a side of life we like to think doesn't exist.
I would very much love for him to come to Vancouver one day and do a project on the downtown east side.
I highly recommend you check out his work.
You may not like it, or even agree with it. I'm not asking you too. I am asking you though, to consider it.
If you take nothing from it, at least you opened your mind for a moment to ponder it.
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
35 Days - Disclaimer: Maybe TMI..
What is your monthly cycle count? Do you count when your menses will come when you run out of birth control pills? Do you count on a calendar (as I do, sans birth control) or have another method?
I run a 24-28 day cycle.
Which means (for some of you men out there who are amazed by the female body) Us ladies get our period any one of those days. Whatever cycle range they may be on.
Now for those who may have pcos or other health related issues, your cycle may be a little off kilter, but you find what's normal for you and you work with it.
Those of you who have been reading me now know I have hypothyroidism (under active thyroid) and while it's easily treatable, it can play with my body. It means if the medication is off I can have issues with thirst, extra dry skin, hair falling out (not much) bm issues and it could mess with my menses cycle.
I'm on day 35 and have not received my monthly womanhood gift that lets me know everything in my body is working a-okay. I'm suspecting since we changed the dosage on my thyroid meds only 4 weeks ago, that it might... might, have caused me to not have my period this month.
I've come to this conclusion over being pregnant, cos well, I practice safe sex. Plus, I'm still having all the symptoms - mood swings, cravings for salt and meat, and mild cramps.
A free month?? SWEET!
I'm sure though that the new meds just messed with me and I'm on a new cycle and no have NO IDEA when I'll get it.
I run a 24-28 day cycle.
Which means (for some of you men out there who are amazed by the female body) Us ladies get our period any one of those days. Whatever cycle range they may be on.
Now for those who may have pcos or other health related issues, your cycle may be a little off kilter, but you find what's normal for you and you work with it.
Those of you who have been reading me now know I have hypothyroidism (under active thyroid) and while it's easily treatable, it can play with my body. It means if the medication is off I can have issues with thirst, extra dry skin, hair falling out (not much) bm issues and it could mess with my menses cycle.
I'm on day 35 and have not received my monthly womanhood gift that lets me know everything in my body is working a-okay. I'm suspecting since we changed the dosage on my thyroid meds only 4 weeks ago, that it might... might, have caused me to not have my period this month.
I've come to this conclusion over being pregnant, cos well, I practice safe sex. Plus, I'm still having all the symptoms - mood swings, cravings for salt and meat, and mild cramps.
A free month?? SWEET!
I'm sure though that the new meds just messed with me and I'm on a new cycle and no have NO IDEA when I'll get it.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Stars are wonky. ,,,
Before I start, can anyone tell me how I can get email notifications that comments have been left?
Suddenly I've stopped receiving emails. ????
Single & Picky said it best in a comment on yesterday's post.
The Cosmo's are a little wonky right now.
YAY I'm not the only one!!! Well, I don't wish this woes-is-me attitude on anyone.
After venting with a g/f via email and at work, she reminded me it's been a long long time since I've been in this funk and only I can change my stars. So simple.
I've received a tone of wonderful suggestions and support from friends, and the blogsphere family and they were all right in their suggestions on how to handle what is putting me in this funk. However, something so simple as being told to take charge of my own happiness again triggered the movement.
I've been humming and hawing about how to handle Museum Crazy C, since I don't want to give up my volunteer position there. However, if I want to be happy, I have to do what's best for me.
I may not be able to have my cake and eat it too on this one.
KM also told me to go home, have that bath, open a bottle of wine and just cry. A STRESS CRY!
When I forget all these coping mechanisms? Seriously, I'm female, my body should take over and force a cry on me itself. lol
So I did. Someone at work gave me a nice bottle of Chianti (minus the fava beans and Jodie Foster) and I had myself a nice dinner, danced around my kitchen, sang horribly at the top of my lungs, cried, then found myself interacting with some sexting before bed. :)
This morning, I feel relaxed and less the emotional roller coaster monster I've been the last month or so.
Aside from the hangover, a whole bottle over 5 hours, alone What? Don't judge me, that's only 3 glasses of wine from a $30 bottle. did the trick. I don't want to even think about what it's done to my diet and how many calories and sugar I injested.
Thank you again to all of you for all your kind words and support regarding my dilema lately.
Suddenly I've stopped receiving emails. ????
Single & Picky said it best in a comment on yesterday's post.
The Cosmo's are a little wonky right now.
YAY I'm not the only one!!! Well, I don't wish this woes-is-me attitude on anyone.
After venting with a g/f via email and at work, she reminded me it's been a long long time since I've been in this funk and only I can change my stars. So simple.
I've received a tone of wonderful suggestions and support from friends, and the blogsphere family and they were all right in their suggestions on how to handle what is putting me in this funk. However, something so simple as being told to take charge of my own happiness again triggered the movement.
I've been humming and hawing about how to handle Museum Crazy C, since I don't want to give up my volunteer position there. However, if I want to be happy, I have to do what's best for me.
I may not be able to have my cake and eat it too on this one.
KM also told me to go home, have that bath, open a bottle of wine and just cry. A STRESS CRY!
When I forget all these coping mechanisms? Seriously, I'm female, my body should take over and force a cry on me itself. lol
So I did. Someone at work gave me a nice bottle of Chianti (minus the fava beans and Jodie Foster) and I had myself a nice dinner, danced around my kitchen, sang horribly at the top of my lungs, cried, then found myself interacting with some sexting before bed. :)
This morning, I feel relaxed and less the emotional roller coaster monster I've been the last month or so.
Aside from the hangover, a whole bottle over 5 hours, alone What? Don't judge me, that's only 3 glasses of wine from a $30 bottle. did the trick. I don't want to even think about what it's done to my diet and how many calories and sugar I injested.
Thank you again to all of you for all your kind words and support regarding my dilema lately.
Monday, 13 December 2010
Uneasy.
I woke up yesterday feeling a certain vibe in the air. Had some interestingly weird dreams about an old job fight about probation periods and being bullied that occurred. (only 3 years ago)
I decided to step down from a management position for a new department and suggested we combine two smaller departments and have them overseen by the existing manager of the other department. One for the most part I hated my staff and didn't want to deal with them anymore. Let them be someone elses' issue.
Things were great until the new manager decided she did not like me or found I was an easy target for her to unleash her frustrations on. During her time in management of the new merger she had put ME on probation many times for the dumbest things, then would break the rule she was trying to enforce herself.
This was shortly after I had to get rid of my car. (whole other long story there). I would take transit and from time to time, transit is unreliable due to snow, buses breaking down, jumpers etc. Things that are 100% out of my control. She felt I had an issue with getting to work on time. SO she's put me on probation. Which I fought every time cos the reasons were not justified. Now if I had been late due to my own carelessness on an on going basis, then I could see her point.
This went on for about a year. I started tracking every time she was late, and not due to her kids, carpooling etc, but because she decided to stop at McPukes and Starcraps 3-4 times a week and would walk in the door 20 mins after her shift started. I was put on probation more that year than a delinquent very defiant child would be grounded. It got to the point that if I was breathing in a way she didn't like she would find a reason to try and assign probation, again.
The finale straw was when a coworker was leaving and I was asked to pick up her work load. Thats fine, we worked on commission in addition to salary. I confirmed that if I was working this girl's load I would gain the commission from it too. Confirmed. Until payday. This manager decided it was not fair that this other person would have a smaller check and took away the commission I made working her files. WTF!
Fed up, I filed a formal complaint. Sighting the multiple probation's, her tardiness etc, basically the file I had been keeping over the past year, and insisted that if she wasn't held accountable for harassment I would be going to labour relations. Plus I wanted the commission I had worked my ass off for and earned fair and square. Nothing came of it. Well, she was talked too and told to lay off. I got the commission (not without a fight though) the comm wouldn't have been a big deal but when it out weighs your paycheck, hell ya you better believe I'm fighting for it.
A g/f gave me a cd for my 35th B-Day that same month. There was a song on it called "Day Job" (or here) from The Sunshine State Band. That song set a fire under my ass and I gave my resignation two weeks later with no notice. :) I gave notice at 4pm the day I decided would be my last day and happily looked forward to my new job on Monday. The GM offered me more money to stay, and said they would take CG (my current manager) out of her position, or move me to another department as compensation. I declined and advised the GM it was all a little too late and this should have been their actions at the time of the harassment, not on my last day with the company.
In addition before I left, I filed with labour relations, just so it would be on file and the BBB (Better Business Bureau). Upon leaving I was surprised at the amount of emails I received from people I had strongly disliked, congratulating me on my courage to stand up to the horrible management within the office. It was a little overwhelming but at the same time, pleased & displeased to know I wasn't the only one having issues within the company. Within 3 months, 12 more people quit, filing harassment and other reasons for their departure. :)
During the time all that was taking place, I felt uneasy, unsure of everything. Was I a bad employee and just couldn't see it? Etc. The anticipation of what the next probation would be about. I was constantly walking on eggshells, for what? Nothing.
Today, those feelings have surfaced. Most likely cos I had a dream about all of it last night, and Saturday I was shunned from interacting at a house party. I wonder if I should be preparing myself for something else, and all this is happening right now so I'll get my guard up a bit???
Or Maybe, I've just gone off the deep end.
How are my finances? Not great, could be better.
How is my health? Improving, work in progress.
How are my relationships with my friends? Stable and loving...I think.
How's my job security? Great, I believe.
How's my love life? Non existent. Although I'm content with that.
Am I lonely? Yes.
Lonely enough to make bad decisions? Not likely.
I'm just unsure and feel uneasy about the energy surrounding me at the moment.
I decided to step down from a management position for a new department and suggested we combine two smaller departments and have them overseen by the existing manager of the other department. One for the most part I hated my staff and didn't want to deal with them anymore. Let them be someone elses' issue.
Things were great until the new manager decided she did not like me or found I was an easy target for her to unleash her frustrations on. During her time in management of the new merger she had put ME on probation many times for the dumbest things, then would break the rule she was trying to enforce herself.
This was shortly after I had to get rid of my car. (whole other long story there). I would take transit and from time to time, transit is unreliable due to snow, buses breaking down, jumpers etc. Things that are 100% out of my control. She felt I had an issue with getting to work on time. SO she's put me on probation. Which I fought every time cos the reasons were not justified. Now if I had been late due to my own carelessness on an on going basis, then I could see her point.
This went on for about a year. I started tracking every time she was late, and not due to her kids, carpooling etc, but because she decided to stop at McPukes and Starcraps 3-4 times a week and would walk in the door 20 mins after her shift started. I was put on probation more that year than a delinquent very defiant child would be grounded. It got to the point that if I was breathing in a way she didn't like she would find a reason to try and assign probation, again.
The finale straw was when a coworker was leaving and I was asked to pick up her work load. Thats fine, we worked on commission in addition to salary. I confirmed that if I was working this girl's load I would gain the commission from it too. Confirmed. Until payday. This manager decided it was not fair that this other person would have a smaller check and took away the commission I made working her files. WTF!
Fed up, I filed a formal complaint. Sighting the multiple probation's, her tardiness etc, basically the file I had been keeping over the past year, and insisted that if she wasn't held accountable for harassment I would be going to labour relations. Plus I wanted the commission I had worked my ass off for and earned fair and square. Nothing came of it. Well, she was talked too and told to lay off. I got the commission (not without a fight though) the comm wouldn't have been a big deal but when it out weighs your paycheck, hell ya you better believe I'm fighting for it.
A g/f gave me a cd for my 35th B-Day that same month. There was a song on it called "Day Job" (or here) from The Sunshine State Band. That song set a fire under my ass and I gave my resignation two weeks later with no notice. :) I gave notice at 4pm the day I decided would be my last day and happily looked forward to my new job on Monday. The GM offered me more money to stay, and said they would take CG (my current manager) out of her position, or move me to another department as compensation. I declined and advised the GM it was all a little too late and this should have been their actions at the time of the harassment, not on my last day with the company.
In addition before I left, I filed with labour relations, just so it would be on file and the BBB (Better Business Bureau). Upon leaving I was surprised at the amount of emails I received from people I had strongly disliked, congratulating me on my courage to stand up to the horrible management within the office. It was a little overwhelming but at the same time, pleased & displeased to know I wasn't the only one having issues within the company. Within 3 months, 12 more people quit, filing harassment and other reasons for their departure. :)
During the time all that was taking place, I felt uneasy, unsure of everything. Was I a bad employee and just couldn't see it? Etc. The anticipation of what the next probation would be about. I was constantly walking on eggshells, for what? Nothing.
Today, those feelings have surfaced. Most likely cos I had a dream about all of it last night, and Saturday I was shunned from interacting at a house party. I wonder if I should be preparing myself for something else, and all this is happening right now so I'll get my guard up a bit???
Or Maybe, I've just gone off the deep end.
How are my finances? Not great, could be better.
How is my health? Improving, work in progress.
How are my relationships with my friends? Stable and loving...I think.
How's my job security? Great, I believe.
How's my love life? Non existent. Although I'm content with that.
Am I lonely? Yes.
Lonely enough to make bad decisions? Not likely.
I'm just unsure and feel uneasy about the energy surrounding me at the moment.
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Feeling lost
I went to a Xmas house party at my pseudo cousins house last night.
We haven't seen each other since we were young.
As much as I enjoyed catching up with her and her husband, I soon discovered I was very out of place with the rest of the guests.
I soon became 'that' guest who injected themselves into conversations just to be included. Her guest were friendly and polite enough, however, I learned I have absolutely nothing in common with any of her friends. Not one thing.
They all know each other through soft ball, a sport I have no interest in.
It's not like me to try so hard to fit in, ever. So why now? Maybe cos it was my cousin?
we have history together and a lot of commonalities together. Maybe it was that trying to fit in? I mean I only injected myself into these conversations otherwise no one was really going out of their way to talk to me. They were either self absorbed with themselves or trying to out know my cousin. I'm a sociable person, I can talk to almost anyone about anything, anywhere. Here, I wasn't exact welcome to chat.
I made the best I could of everything, decided to step back and not ask any questions unless I was being talked to first. I'd sit at a table or the couch etc with other people (still trying to be social somewhat and mingle) and just listen. See if the conversation ever really allowed for me to be included. It did not.
If a group of women were chatting, they'd ask me if I had children, and upon learning I do not, they would proceed to talk about kids, pregnancy etc. If I was able to insert myself, they'd look at me like I didn't know what I was talking about cos I don't have children etc. Or to learn I was the only person at the party who did not have a spouse. There was a silent unspoken, looking down their nose at me cos of it. Wow, can you say uncomfortable? That seem to be the consensus of the night. Find something I knew nothing about and talk about it all night.
I decided a few hours later that I would catch a ride home with my younger nephew and his finance. I wasn't about to spend the night with a bunch of people who in my mind have gone out of their way to exclude me from topics.
I feel lost. I consider myself smart, knowledgeable about many things, I never claim to know more than I ever do, cos that would be stupid. This group of people though, maybe me feel uneducated, unworthy and socially awkward. When did I become 12 yrs old again?
Shot my cousin a note this morning, thanking her for the invite etc, and that overall I had a great time. Apologized for trying too hard with her friends and just simple description of what I was talking about.
Surprisingly she replied that she had noticed her friends excluding me. But being the host of the party of course she had to attend to so many things or she would have made a point of making sure I was invited into conversations etc. Knowing her the way I do, she would have. That's why I like her. 'She' is more like my own friends.
My friends would never have let anyone feeling out of place, feel like that much longer. At the bar, out and about, or at a house party.
I love my friends.
Needless to say, I won't be attending anymore of her house parties. Not cos I don't want to try and continue to be friendly, but because I really have nothing in common with her friends. Their lives revolve around baseball season. Period.
I could never imagine any of them stepping out their comfort zone to try yoga, kayaking, snowboarding etc.. Maybe they've already been there, done that and know that about themselves. I'm trying to be okay with that. Not everyone has to get along, or like the same things, but it has been a very long time (teenage years) where a group of people have collectively together shunned a person from entering the gang.
I still feel a little lost.
I know who I am, what I like, don't like, who my friends are, who my friends are not.
So how did this group of people I've never met before, start making me guess myself.
Am I educated enough? Do I make enough money? Am I less of a person or a loser cos I'm almost 40 and do not have a spouse, and the fact that I'm okay with that, make me a target to be looked down at?
I just feel out of place and it's left me second guessing my position in life in other areas.
We haven't seen each other since we were young.
As much as I enjoyed catching up with her and her husband, I soon discovered I was very out of place with the rest of the guests.
I soon became 'that' guest who injected themselves into conversations just to be included. Her guest were friendly and polite enough, however, I learned I have absolutely nothing in common with any of her friends. Not one thing.
They all know each other through soft ball, a sport I have no interest in.
It's not like me to try so hard to fit in, ever. So why now? Maybe cos it was my cousin?
we have history together and a lot of commonalities together. Maybe it was that trying to fit in? I mean I only injected myself into these conversations otherwise no one was really going out of their way to talk to me. They were either self absorbed with themselves or trying to out know my cousin. I'm a sociable person, I can talk to almost anyone about anything, anywhere. Here, I wasn't exact welcome to chat.
I made the best I could of everything, decided to step back and not ask any questions unless I was being talked to first. I'd sit at a table or the couch etc with other people (still trying to be social somewhat and mingle) and just listen. See if the conversation ever really allowed for me to be included. It did not.
If a group of women were chatting, they'd ask me if I had children, and upon learning I do not, they would proceed to talk about kids, pregnancy etc. If I was able to insert myself, they'd look at me like I didn't know what I was talking about cos I don't have children etc. Or to learn I was the only person at the party who did not have a spouse. There was a silent unspoken, looking down their nose at me cos of it. Wow, can you say uncomfortable? That seem to be the consensus of the night. Find something I knew nothing about and talk about it all night.
I decided a few hours later that I would catch a ride home with my younger nephew and his finance. I wasn't about to spend the night with a bunch of people who in my mind have gone out of their way to exclude me from topics.
I feel lost. I consider myself smart, knowledgeable about many things, I never claim to know more than I ever do, cos that would be stupid. This group of people though, maybe me feel uneducated, unworthy and socially awkward. When did I become 12 yrs old again?
Shot my cousin a note this morning, thanking her for the invite etc, and that overall I had a great time. Apologized for trying too hard with her friends and just simple description of what I was talking about.
Surprisingly she replied that she had noticed her friends excluding me. But being the host of the party of course she had to attend to so many things or she would have made a point of making sure I was invited into conversations etc. Knowing her the way I do, she would have. That's why I like her. 'She' is more like my own friends.
My friends would never have let anyone feeling out of place, feel like that much longer. At the bar, out and about, or at a house party.
I love my friends.
Needless to say, I won't be attending anymore of her house parties. Not cos I don't want to try and continue to be friendly, but because I really have nothing in common with her friends. Their lives revolve around baseball season. Period.
I could never imagine any of them stepping out their comfort zone to try yoga, kayaking, snowboarding etc.. Maybe they've already been there, done that and know that about themselves. I'm trying to be okay with that. Not everyone has to get along, or like the same things, but it has been a very long time (teenage years) where a group of people have collectively together shunned a person from entering the gang.
I still feel a little lost.
I know who I am, what I like, don't like, who my friends are, who my friends are not.
So how did this group of people I've never met before, start making me guess myself.
Am I educated enough? Do I make enough money? Am I less of a person or a loser cos I'm almost 40 and do not have a spouse, and the fact that I'm okay with that, make me a target to be looked down at?
I just feel out of place and it's left me second guessing my position in life in other areas.
Friday, 10 December 2010
Contact Information
My Devoted Stalkers,
I've added my email contact information to my profile!....woot!
So if you have something you'd like to say, ask, etc and do not want to publish it.
You now have this option. :)
I've added my email contact information to my profile!....woot!
So if you have something you'd like to say, ask, etc and do not want to publish it.
You now have this option. :)
Thursday, 9 December 2010
As I was reading feel the tide blog & it reminded me that I haven't updated you guys on the changes I've made to my diet.
It's only been 3 weeks since I wrote here about the changes I've made since learning my sugar level are just 2 points shy of becoming a type 2 diabetic.
I'm paying more attention to what I'm putting in my body. Of course I've relasped and ordered a pizza, but it was so worth it. I even threw out a sucker today. About 30 seconds after I put that sucker in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Crap, this is sugar and this counts". In the garabage it went. Wasn't overly sad about it neither.
I've decided that Coke Zero taste better than Diet Coke, and if I realllllly feel the need for something like pop, Coke Zero will be it. I tried a carbonated flavoured water, barf, the pain it caused me in gas was so-not-worth-it.
I won't update too often about this cos I don't want to bore you guys.
I understand it's going to be a slow process, it's already been 3 weeks and I feel better.
I'm not nearly as bloated and my stomach is slimming down. Thats not to say I'm losing weight, cos I'm sure that has not changed. In just 3 short weeks, I find I'm not tugging on the back of my shirt to make sure it hasn't ridden up more than what's acceptable.
I'm not finding cooking for one a chore as much any more. :-)
My grociers bill has been cut waaaaay down. I usually allocate $150 every two week for food.
So far I'm spending roughly $30-$40 a week right now. I can still eat out. My drink choice recently has been hot water, while in the past I would have ordered a beer, just because I can.
I wouldn't say I have any more energy as of yet and still heading to bed hours earlier than normal.
I foresee exercise being introduced sooner than later. Baby steps folks, baby steps.
I think that is all for now.
It's only been 3 weeks since I wrote here about the changes I've made since learning my sugar level are just 2 points shy of becoming a type 2 diabetic.
I'm paying more attention to what I'm putting in my body. Of course I've relasped and ordered a pizza, but it was so worth it. I even threw out a sucker today. About 30 seconds after I put that sucker in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Crap, this is sugar and this counts". In the garabage it went. Wasn't overly sad about it neither.
I've decided that Coke Zero taste better than Diet Coke, and if I realllllly feel the need for something like pop, Coke Zero will be it. I tried a carbonated flavoured water, barf, the pain it caused me in gas was so-not-worth-it.
I won't update too often about this cos I don't want to bore you guys.
I understand it's going to be a slow process, it's already been 3 weeks and I feel better.
I'm not nearly as bloated and my stomach is slimming down. Thats not to say I'm losing weight, cos I'm sure that has not changed. In just 3 short weeks, I find I'm not tugging on the back of my shirt to make sure it hasn't ridden up more than what's acceptable.
I'm not finding cooking for one a chore as much any more. :-)
My grociers bill has been cut waaaaay down. I usually allocate $150 every two week for food.
So far I'm spending roughly $30-$40 a week right now. I can still eat out. My drink choice recently has been hot water, while in the past I would have ordered a beer, just because I can.
I wouldn't say I have any more energy as of yet and still heading to bed hours earlier than normal.
I foresee exercise being introduced sooner than later. Baby steps folks, baby steps.
I think that is all for now.
Oops. I deleted a couple entries.
I was just now cleaning up my draft folder and by doing so it looks like I deleted 2 published entries.
Oops.
I do not have a lot to say & A birth control one???
If you remember that they were indeed there and maybe commented on it, I'm sorry.
It wasn't personal or intentional. :(
Oops.
I do not have a lot to say & A birth control one???
If you remember that they were indeed there and maybe commented on it, I'm sorry.
It wasn't personal or intentional. :(
Single White Female
I've been having some more craziness with Museum Crazy C.
Yesterday while I was at my paying job, her emails started coming in. At first they were the usual generic ramblings of someone filling time and looking busy. That's completely fine.
However, I was busy, working. Actually working, not just looking busy. These moments are few and far between when I have enough work to keep me busy all day.
Enter Miss Crazy.
The emails were becoming abrupt and almost rude. I had posted on FB earlier in the day that I was donating blood that night and would then be offline the rest of the night. Anyone who donates, knows sometimes giving blood can wipe you of a little energy. More so on days where you're already overtired.
Below are bits from her emails:
*One email demanded to know why I donate.
*The others were demanding to know why I wasn't replying to her.
*Another informing me that the Xmas e-card I sent to everyone at the museum was addressed with multiple greetings (Hanukkah, Quanza, Christmas) and that only Christians worked there, so Merry Christmas would have done just fine. (Can't make this shit up).
*The next was her informing me that it drove her absolutely crazy when she was being ignored.
First of all, my patience is waning here. I'm AT WORK! I forwarded the emails to my work wife, asking for her to assist me with a diplomatic reply. However, she was busy too and I couldn't wait, being fuelled by my annoyance for Miss Crazy C.
I shot her a quick reply saying, I didn't have anything to say, and that I was busy with a project. I'd talk to her later. Her emails continued, that if I had enough time to reply to this one, I should have enough time to reply to all.
So I lied.
I sent her another email advising her that I only had a minute to shoot this email out, cos I was not working alone at my desk, that I was with the CFO and the Controller (my immediate bosses) and CAN NOT reply right away and for her to relax. I'll reply when I have time.
Still not good enough. She started texting me. Like that somehow was more acceptable???
Fortunately for me, I foresaw that happening and had turned my ringers off. :) Yay, I get to keep my job.
Towards the end of the day, I emailed her, letting her know my day was over and that I wasn't in the mood to talk. I would chat with her later. More rants from her ensued. I stopped replying.
I'm at a cross roads.
I like her when she's not being super needy and psychotic. I do not want to seem like an enabler for her, but I think her anxieties about going home for the holidays are revving her up a bit. And since she is under the impression we're much better friends than we really are, I'm afraid if I corrected her, there would be results forming as bits from the single white female movie. I have only come to this conclusion solely based on stories she's told me involving old roommates and friends. She looks up to me for a few things. Things I'm completely happy to help guide her through. But it's starting to feel like she relies on me a far more than she should for her own sanity. Sometimes I'm happy to help, it's overwhelming feeling like it's being demanded from me.
How do I tell her, we're not as close as she thinks? I do not need or want to talk to her everyday. Seeing her on Fridays and going for drinks afterwards and maybe one or two other times is enough. Honestly I'm not all that interested in having a close relationship with her. I do not share much information about my life with her, as she is quickly ready to divulge information on other co-workers etc. If I want people to know, I will tell them. That's my choice to share, shouldn't be hers.
I can not cut her off, cos she will make working at the museum hell. Gossip, etc.
I assume she exaggerates often.
And I do not wish to quit because she forgot to take her meds. Could I have seen that being friendly at work would result in this, I wouldn't have been nice. How do you assess something like this before hand?
Recap: She was normal until I went to her house. Tricked me!!! lol
Do I make myself unavailable more often? Screen my calls? Stop replying to emails?
What I need from you readers are a few suggestions how to manage this.
In short, I honestly would not lose any sleep if this relationship ended.
I however do value my life and working in the museum drama free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess when I mentioned here that CC and I talked and all would be good in the world again, was a crock of shit.
I find the more she becomes the topic of my entries, makes me realize even more we have a problem here.
Yesterday while I was at my paying job, her emails started coming in. At first they were the usual generic ramblings of someone filling time and looking busy. That's completely fine.
However, I was busy, working. Actually working, not just looking busy. These moments are few and far between when I have enough work to keep me busy all day.
Enter Miss Crazy.
The emails were becoming abrupt and almost rude. I had posted on FB earlier in the day that I was donating blood that night and would then be offline the rest of the night. Anyone who donates, knows sometimes giving blood can wipe you of a little energy. More so on days where you're already overtired.
Below are bits from her emails:
*One email demanded to know why I donate.
*The others were demanding to know why I wasn't replying to her.
*Another informing me that the Xmas e-card I sent to everyone at the museum was addressed with multiple greetings (Hanukkah, Quanza, Christmas) and that only Christians worked there, so Merry Christmas would have done just fine. (Can't make this shit up).
*The next was her informing me that it drove her absolutely crazy when she was being ignored.
First of all, my patience is waning here. I'm AT WORK! I forwarded the emails to my work wife, asking for her to assist me with a diplomatic reply. However, she was busy too and I couldn't wait, being fuelled by my annoyance for Miss Crazy C.
I shot her a quick reply saying, I didn't have anything to say, and that I was busy with a project. I'd talk to her later. Her emails continued, that if I had enough time to reply to this one, I should have enough time to reply to all.
So I lied.
I sent her another email advising her that I only had a minute to shoot this email out, cos I was not working alone at my desk, that I was with the CFO and the Controller (my immediate bosses) and CAN NOT reply right away and for her to relax. I'll reply when I have time.
Still not good enough. She started texting me. Like that somehow was more acceptable???
Fortunately for me, I foresaw that happening and had turned my ringers off. :) Yay, I get to keep my job.
Towards the end of the day, I emailed her, letting her know my day was over and that I wasn't in the mood to talk. I would chat with her later. More rants from her ensued. I stopped replying.
I'm at a cross roads.
I like her when she's not being super needy and psychotic. I do not want to seem like an enabler for her, but I think her anxieties about going home for the holidays are revving her up a bit. And since she is under the impression we're much better friends than we really are, I'm afraid if I corrected her, there would be results forming as bits from the single white female movie. I have only come to this conclusion solely based on stories she's told me involving old roommates and friends. She looks up to me for a few things. Things I'm completely happy to help guide her through. But it's starting to feel like she relies on me a far more than she should for her own sanity. Sometimes I'm happy to help, it's overwhelming feeling like it's being demanded from me.
How do I tell her, we're not as close as she thinks? I do not need or want to talk to her everyday. Seeing her on Fridays and going for drinks afterwards and maybe one or two other times is enough. Honestly I'm not all that interested in having a close relationship with her. I do not share much information about my life with her, as she is quickly ready to divulge information on other co-workers etc. If I want people to know, I will tell them. That's my choice to share, shouldn't be hers.
I can not cut her off, cos she will make working at the museum hell. Gossip, etc.
I assume she exaggerates often.
And I do not wish to quit because she forgot to take her meds. Could I have seen that being friendly at work would result in this, I wouldn't have been nice. How do you assess something like this before hand?
Recap: She was normal until I went to her house. Tricked me!!! lol
Do I make myself unavailable more often? Screen my calls? Stop replying to emails?
What I need from you readers are a few suggestions how to manage this.
In short, I honestly would not lose any sleep if this relationship ended.
I however do value my life and working in the museum drama free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess when I mentioned here that CC and I talked and all would be good in the world again, was a crock of shit.
I find the more she becomes the topic of my entries, makes me realize even more we have a problem here.
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Womanhood is a Big Meanie..
I haven't had much to say this past week.
I'm tired, calm, meh, craving salt, not talkative, not sleeping great, and feel like the 14(excluding commuting time) hours between when I leave work and when I return is not really enough time. Feels like only a few hours in between most days lately.
Then it occurred to me to ask myself, what's changed? At first I thought nothing.
Then realized I'm due for my womanhood to arrive soon. I can not speak for other ladies, but unless you're on the pill or count your cycle, a lot of women are notaware pay attention to the things happening to their bodies for that 10 days prior to the "gift" arriving. How many women have you heard say, "I was a raging lunatic, I think I'm going crazy."etc. Only to realize that a few days later, their womanhood arrived.
We laugh it off shaking our heads at our own temporary insanity, while our male counterparts knew the whole time when it was arriving, but could never in a million years ask us, "are you getting your period?" Cos that just opens a world of fighting words. When it comes to certain topics, I think men nailed it, keeping their mouths shut early on and become smarter than us for a few days. Just a few days.
I came to the conclusion yesterday that I'm due soon, and of course ran to my calendar and counted my cycle. I'm not on birth control, so either I count it or run risk of embarrassment asking the waitress at a bar/restaurant if they have any female necessities available or be out in public and not be able to find a public restroom. For the most part I've always got a few supplies with me in a pretty little silk pencil case that holds the goods perfectly and takes up no room in my purse. Plus I can also just take this little Japanese silk pencil case aka tampon,wipes, pad holder to the bathroom with me rather than my whole purse, and not many would be any the wiser.
The point is, I'm aware of myself this month. My mood, lack of patience, increase craving for salt and protein, and more tired. Now that I know, I can put the kibosh on any onset mood swings that are unnecessary.
What are some of the crazy things you've done or said a week before you're due?
And at the same time think you're completely sane....
I'm tired, calm, meh, craving salt, not talkative, not sleeping great, and feel like the 14(excluding commuting time) hours between when I leave work and when I return is not really enough time. Feels like only a few hours in between most days lately.
Then it occurred to me to ask myself, what's changed? At first I thought nothing.
Then realized I'm due for my womanhood to arrive soon. I can not speak for other ladies, but unless you're on the pill or count your cycle, a lot of women are not
We laugh it off shaking our heads at our own temporary insanity, while our male counterparts knew the whole time when it was arriving, but could never in a million years ask us, "are you getting your period?" Cos that just opens a world of fighting words. When it comes to certain topics, I think men nailed it, keeping their mouths shut early on and become smarter than us for a few days. Just a few days.
I came to the conclusion yesterday that I'm due soon, and of course ran to my calendar and counted my cycle. I'm not on birth control, so either I count it or run risk of embarrassment asking the waitress at a bar/restaurant if they have any female necessities available or be out in public and not be able to find a public restroom. For the most part I've always got a few supplies with me in a pretty little silk pencil case that holds the goods perfectly and takes up no room in my purse. Plus I can also just take this little Japanese silk pencil case aka tampon,wipes, pad holder to the bathroom with me rather than my whole purse, and not many would be any the wiser.
The point is, I'm aware of myself this month. My mood, lack of patience, increase craving for salt and protein, and more tired. Now that I know, I can put the kibosh on any onset mood swings that are unnecessary.
What are some of the crazy things you've done or said a week before you're due?
And at the same time think you're completely sane....
Friday, 3 December 2010
General Ramblings
Last night was the company Xmas party. I've never go. Mostly cos I work with and see these people more than I see my friends. Plus, in the past I haven't care for many of them. I'm not one for forced politeness's.
Nor do I want to party with a bunch of caddy, gossiping early 20 somethings'. If they were mature 20 somethings, I probably would have gone previous years. Alas they are not.
This past year we've hired an older crowd. If they are all still here next year, I'll go. I like these women, mostly cos they're my own age (which sometimes doesn't matter) but we have things in common, and I like them.
I accepted plans for a dinner date with my plaything last night. We've been having a hard time connecting and getting our schedules synced. He's had two strikes against him already, which I was severely disappointed with since he's turn into THAT guy. The guy who makes plans, stands you up, then calls you the next day to tell you about a date he went on. WTH! I've called him out on it. Explained we're not dating, we're not exclusive, but I will not be treated poorly or disrespected. He's been apologizing ever since.
So we made plans last night for a late dinner and to just hang out. He advised me that the ex was stopping by the house to pick up some of her stuff etc... and he should be on his way about 8pm.
About 7ish he texts to say she showed up with her Mum and they ambushed him regarding their mutual banking stuff. Not to go into any details but I'm well aware of the financial obligations they had together.
Well whatever arrangement they had, no longer works for her, or should I say her mother. At 9pm he texts again to say he thinks he'll be free soon, apologizes and asks that I not count this as strike 3.
At 8pm I could forsee the night going downhill and ordered a pizza. (Hi Diet, I see you givine me that dirty look.) If he showed up, I'd have lunch and dinner the next day with that medium pizza.
11pm - I hear nothing. I call him to see if he's alive etc. No answer. I text, on the off chance he's still dealing with them. No answer. Too late - strike 3 You're out. Now this strike 3 is reversable should he call before noon and advise his cell died. He asked for this date.
I'm thoroughly disappointed. Not pissed. Cos this has never really been his style. Prior to this g/f of 3 years, he would have stopped by my job to apologize in person. I've given him a hard time about the guy he's turned into. Even if we dropped the playdate portion of our relationship, I wouldnt accept being treated like this from a friend. Which we've always been.
While I was getting ready last night, I decided to re-activate my online dating account. Never once got my hopes up, cos that particular site has become a second Craigsl@st. The quailty of men on there have gone into the toilet. Hence the deactivation at the beggining of the year.
Apparently there is a new feature called "Meet Me". It's similar to the Hot or Not, but you get to look at pictures and click on "Do You Want To Meet This Person" - Yes, No, Maybe. By clicking yes or maybe, it sends an automated email to you advising that this person would like to meet you. Seriously?
First of all you do not have the option to opt out of partcipating in this. If you have an active account, you are part of this. Secondly , How friggin lazy do you have to be? My hotmail inbox was bombarded with emails from men who were clicked on my picture that they wanted to meet me. I deleted every single one of them.
You were too lazy to email me yourself to say hello with a small intro? Instead you let an auto email do your work for you? No Thank You.
I think I'll be deleting my account all together tonight, and go back to meeting people in person, at bars, restaurants, thru friends, etc
In the beginning of online dating, it was great. Lots of people who are busy looking for love. Then it started to become a little too casual and men were just looking for an easy hookup. Then it became down right soliciting for sex only. "let's have a roll in the hay, see if we're compatible then get to know each other."
Let me be one of many to say this, if you actually fall for that line or think its not an unreasonable request, I see no hope for romance or mankind. I'm all for booty calls from time to time, but I do those with my friends who I have history with. Not some random one nightstand with a dude on a dating site who's last name and birthdate I don't know.
I'm over the online dating thing. I'm going to be more conventional and meet people the old fashion way.
Get to know them, date them, sleep with them, become exclusive.
Don't get me wrong, online dating worked for me for a while, but it no longer suites my needs or wants.
Nor do I want to party with a bunch of caddy, gossiping early 20 somethings'. If they were mature 20 somethings, I probably would have gone previous years. Alas they are not.
This past year we've hired an older crowd. If they are all still here next year, I'll go. I like these women, mostly cos they're my own age (which sometimes doesn't matter) but we have things in common, and I like them.
I accepted plans for a dinner date with my plaything last night. We've been having a hard time connecting and getting our schedules synced. He's had two strikes against him already, which I was severely disappointed with since he's turn into THAT guy. The guy who makes plans, stands you up, then calls you the next day to tell you about a date he went on. WTH! I've called him out on it. Explained we're not dating, we're not exclusive, but I will not be treated poorly or disrespected. He's been apologizing ever since.
So we made plans last night for a late dinner and to just hang out. He advised me that the ex was stopping by the house to pick up some of her stuff etc... and he should be on his way about 8pm.
About 7ish he texts to say she showed up with her Mum and they ambushed him regarding their mutual banking stuff. Not to go into any details but I'm well aware of the financial obligations they had together.
Well whatever arrangement they had, no longer works for her, or should I say her mother. At 9pm he texts again to say he thinks he'll be free soon, apologizes and asks that I not count this as strike 3.
At 8pm I could forsee the night going downhill and ordered a pizza. (Hi Diet, I see you givine me that dirty look.) If he showed up, I'd have lunch and dinner the next day with that medium pizza.
11pm - I hear nothing. I call him to see if he's alive etc. No answer. I text, on the off chance he's still dealing with them. No answer. Too late - strike 3 You're out. Now this strike 3 is reversable should he call before noon and advise his cell died. He asked for this date.
I'm thoroughly disappointed. Not pissed. Cos this has never really been his style. Prior to this g/f of 3 years, he would have stopped by my job to apologize in person. I've given him a hard time about the guy he's turned into. Even if we dropped the playdate portion of our relationship, I wouldnt accept being treated like this from a friend. Which we've always been.
While I was getting ready last night, I decided to re-activate my online dating account. Never once got my hopes up, cos that particular site has become a second Craigsl@st. The quailty of men on there have gone into the toilet. Hence the deactivation at the beggining of the year.
Apparently there is a new feature called "Meet Me". It's similar to the Hot or Not, but you get to look at pictures and click on "Do You Want To Meet This Person" - Yes, No, Maybe. By clicking yes or maybe, it sends an automated email to you advising that this person would like to meet you. Seriously?
First of all you do not have the option to opt out of partcipating in this. If you have an active account, you are part of this. Secondly , How friggin lazy do you have to be? My hotmail inbox was bombarded with emails from men who were clicked on my picture that they wanted to meet me. I deleted every single one of them.
You were too lazy to email me yourself to say hello with a small intro? Instead you let an auto email do your work for you? No Thank You.
I think I'll be deleting my account all together tonight, and go back to meeting people in person, at bars, restaurants, thru friends, etc
In the beginning of online dating, it was great. Lots of people who are busy looking for love. Then it started to become a little too casual and men were just looking for an easy hookup. Then it became down right soliciting for sex only. "let's have a roll in the hay, see if we're compatible then get to know each other."
Let me be one of many to say this, if you actually fall for that line or think its not an unreasonable request, I see no hope for romance or mankind. I'm all for booty calls from time to time, but I do those with my friends who I have history with. Not some random one nightstand with a dude on a dating site who's last name and birthdate I don't know.
I'm over the online dating thing. I'm going to be more conventional and meet people the old fashion way.
Get to know them, date them, sleep with them, become exclusive.
Don't get me wrong, online dating worked for me for a while, but it no longer suites my needs or wants.
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
40 before 40 update
Woot!
I'm crossing a few more things off this 40 before 40 list !
*Black - Haven't even attempted yet.
*Blue - Complete or on going
*Purple Italic - Fail or opted out of doing.
1. Get a passport
2. Cook lasagna from scratch- done.
3. Weigh in at 135 lbs
4. Save up an emergency fund of $5000- started saving, but dipped into it.
5. Buy a newer car (mid SUV) within 6 years of the current year.
6. Move to the island Fail .Not by the time I'm 40, but it will happen.
7. Buy a king size bed - DONE!
8. Create Sunday dinners w/family/closest friends - Fail
9. Buy a Barbeque
10. Be part of a creative photo shoot. (July 2009)- Fail - opted out.
11. Booked to Renew my enhanced drivers license - Jan 2011
12. Learn to snowboard (I’ve lived in Vancouver my whole life never gone)*gasp*
13. Conquer the Grouse Grind again under 1.15 hours
Just not interested in putting my body thru that again. = Fail.
14. Go snowshoeing
15. Spend considerable more time by the ocean.
16. Join a gym and attend DONE(June 2,2009)
17. Buy my first set of golf clubs
18. Get my teeth whitened - looking to see if my dentist can cover this.
19. Buy my first camera!!! (see spare, take a photography class)
20. Learn about personal financing and get mine under control. Work in progress with Smart Cookies, Vancouver based Company, Finance for women by women.
21. Picnic more often, I'm surrounded by parks and ocean
22. Be a softer woman. Let men wear the pants and be men. - Work in Progress -Employed Elizabeth Singleton - aka Love Coach(Dec 09) This is harder than I though. March 2010
23. Go kayaking (again, surrounded by water, you'd think I'd be more active, use to be)
24. Buy all new camping gear Fail
25. Gave me an idea for future entries.. list all my first date activies. Blog idea - Done
26. Tell my friends/family I LOVE THEM at the end of EVERY phone call. (a contstant process)
27. Buy a printer/scanner for home
28. Go to the Cabin in Kitimat,BC (Sept 2009) DONE
29. Be more consistent as a person. Manners, calmness etc. On going.
30. Go to the dentist.- Booked Dec 20th ,2010
31. Update wardrobe to be more stylish/professional.- Ongoing
32. Make the effort to seriously smile more (whether its random or intentional)- Work In Progress
33. Donate blood more often. March, September, December,2010 and on going.
34. Learn how to paint my apt.- the museum is teaching me, but havent painted yet....
35. Stop needing acceptance from my siblings - 100% DONE
36. Do more things for myself that make me happy. On Going
37. Improve my flexibility with yoga. Up to twice a week now. I have a love/hate with yoga.
38. Do 10 full push ups in a row.
39. Love freely without the fear of being hurt.(enough said D)-work in progress
Employed Elizabeth Singleton - aka Love Coach(Dec 09)
40. Send post cards of Vancouver to family back east. (who doesn’t love getting post cards)
Spares
41. Build a network of professional contacts. - Done and on going
42. Take a photography class.(only when after I purchase the camera.....)
43. Frame pictures of family & friends. on going.
44. Get my eyes examined. Feb 2010- Done
45. File 2008 taxes -Done
46. File 2009/2010 Taxes in Feb 2011
I'm crossing a few more things off this 40 before 40 list !
*Black - Haven't even attempted yet.
*Blue - Complete or on going
*Purple Italic - Fail or opted out of doing.
1. Get a passport
2. Cook lasagna from scratch- done.
3. Weigh in at 135 lbs
4. Save up an emergency fund of $5000- started saving, but dipped into it.
5. Buy a newer car (mid SUV) within 6 years of the current year.
6. Move to the island Fail .Not by the time I'm 40, but it will happen.
7. Buy a king size bed - DONE!
8. Create Sunday dinners w/family/closest friends - Fail
9. Buy a Barbeque
10. Be part of a creative photo shoot. (July 2009)- Fail - opted out.
11. Booked to Renew my enhanced drivers license - Jan 2011
12. Learn to snowboard (I’ve lived in Vancouver my whole life never gone)*gasp*
13. Conquer the Grouse Grind again under 1.15 hours
Just not interested in putting my body thru that again. = Fail.
14. Go snowshoeing
15. Spend considerable more time by the ocean.
16. Join a gym and attend DONE(June 2,2009)
17. Buy my first set of golf clubs
18. Get my teeth whitened - looking to see if my dentist can cover this.
19. Buy my first camera!!! (see spare, take a photography class)
20. Learn about personal financing and get mine under control. Work in progress with Smart Cookies, Vancouver based Company, Finance for women by women.
21. Picnic more often, I'm surrounded by parks and ocean
22. Be a softer woman. Let men wear the pants and be men. - Work in Progress -Employed Elizabeth Singleton - aka Love Coach(Dec 09) This is harder than I though. March 2010
23. Go kayaking (again, surrounded by water, you'd think I'd be more active, use to be)
24. Buy all new camping gear Fail
25. Gave me an idea for future entries.. list all my first date activies. Blog idea - Done
26. Tell my friends/family I LOVE THEM at the end of EVERY phone call. (a contstant process)
27. Buy a printer/scanner for home
28. Go to the Cabin in Kitimat,BC (Sept 2009) DONE
29. Be more consistent as a person. Manners, calmness etc. On going.
30. Go to the dentist.- Booked Dec 20th ,2010
31. Update wardrobe to be more stylish/professional.- Ongoing
32. Make the effort to seriously smile more (whether its random or intentional)- Work In Progress
33. Donate blood more often. March, September, December,2010 and on going.
34. Learn how to paint my apt.- the museum is teaching me, but havent painted yet....
35. Stop needing acceptance from my siblings - 100% DONE
36. Do more things for myself that make me happy. On Going
37. Improve my flexibility with yoga. Up to twice a week now. I have a love/hate with yoga.
38. Do 10 full push ups in a row.
39. Love freely without the fear of being hurt.(enough said D)-work in progress
Employed Elizabeth Singleton - aka Love Coach(Dec 09)
40. Send post cards of Vancouver to family back east. (who doesn’t love getting post cards)
Spares
41. Build a network of professional contacts. - Done and on going
42. Take a photography class.(only when after I purchase the camera.....)
43. Frame pictures of family & friends. on going.
44. Get my eyes examined. Feb 2010- Done
45. File 2008 taxes -Done
46. File 2009/2010 Taxes in Feb 2011
My landlord is an uber tool.
Over the last 8 years that I've lived in my suite, I've kept the apartment in good shape, pull out the fridge and oven a couple times a year and clean behind/under it, report any repairs, washed the walls, etc...
I'd say I'm a good tenant.
He has other thoughts.
According to him, I'm a problem tenant. Solely cos I will not put up with his bullying antics. I stand up for myself. I know my rights as a renter and I'm sure he's hoping I'll tire and just move.
My apt is a 3rd floor corner unit over looking mountains and the Frazer River. Not bad for not living in the downtown core. He's been slowly renovating the building but it's only lipstick on a pig.
The foundation is slanted. The building is old. Repairs on the outer part of the building are being neglected as sheet rock had buckled and fallen off, exposing the inner wood to the elements.
The building doesn't have a sprinkler system in place. This is not mandatory for older buildings and upgrades are not regulated nor mandatory at this time. Since learning that, I've upped my renters insurances through the roof. The neighbour is great. We have all sorts of shops within walking distances and even better a Hells Angel's Chapter House at the bottom of the hill. Which means, NO CRIME. I've lived there 8 years and have never once seen the club house look like it's open, nor any bikes for that matter.
Anyways, in the last 5 years my apartment is slowly falling apart. Needs repairs. All minor but left much longer they will turn into major costly repairs.
I've asked for the following every year for the last 5 moving forward and have been rejected by letter every time.
*Painting - TBA says they must paint every few years within reasonable intervals. It's never been done.
I've been given many excuses as to why, but now I'm done. I attach the section code from the tba with all my request now. Rejected.
*Popcorn ceiling is peeling. - This is not my responsibility. I did not install the light fixtures 50 plus years ago. Rejected.
*New caulking in the tub - This gets done every year due to mold growing on it from behind the tiles. Again, not my problem and they do this one every year, cos threat of mold means a possible lawsuit if not dealt with. - On going repair.
*Fridge freezing my food. - I want a new fridge. I was told to make a list of foods spoiled. Um I still have to replace the food anytime the fridge does this. - Rejected
*3 inch hole under baseboard in guest room.2 yrs now - It's been filled with steel wool and tape since the ferret from the adjacent apartment entered my unit, then I ended up with a bedbug issue and mice droppings. - Rejected. However they repaired the hole in the other suite cos that one is visible, where as mine is hidden.
*Bedbugs - I've had two bouts of bedbugs now since the ferret and hole in the guest room. The first time they tried to send me the bills AFTER the unit had been treated. I rejected the letter/bill and filed a dispute against them. - I won. The second time they tried to say I'd have to pay if nothing was found. TBA says otherwise.
*Changed my locks- After the last house guess left, I was told I could change my locks at my own cost.
I did that. Then they sent a letter saying that I was not allowed to change them without written notice and sent a bill for tumbling the new keys. - I rejected the letter. and sent the bill back.
*Fridge freezer became plugged this month - Which caused my fridge to flood under the crisper and leak onto my kitchen floor, weekly. Repairs have been done, and they sent me the bill. I've sent it back to them with a section of the tba stating all major appliances are the responsibility of the landlord, unless they can PROVE the damage was caused deliberately or neglect by the tenant. According the owner by having food in my freezer that will block the drainage hole. What? I've had that fridge 8 years and have complained many times about it. Now this?
*No heat for the last 10 days. - This occurred during our artic snap and snow fall. The owners took their time sourcing 3 companies and a bidding war as to who would fix it. It's fixed now. I'm surprised I did not receive a bill for the replacement pump for the boiler that the whole building uses, as I was had the most trouble obtaining heat. (top corner suite)
*Rent increase notice in September - This is fine, the rent goes up from time to time. The Gov't regulates how much rent the rent can be increased every year. For 2010 it's 3.2% from your current rent. 2011 will be 2,3%. When I received my notice it was at 10%. I called and advised them it was wrong. They actually told me "just write the cheques for the correct amount, everything will be fine". I laughed and told them I'd do no such thing until I had a new rent increase notice in my hand with the correct amount. They hung up on me. Three weeks passed before I got the new notice slipped under my door.
Just to be a bitch, I went back to them and told them the date for increase was now wrong as the notice of increase came less than 3 months from the new date. Assfaces. You want to jerk me around, I'll make your job harder cos you didn't do it right the first time. I took it one step further and put the printout section about rent increase percentages under the doors of all 75 units in the building. (minus the building manager, not the owner). Wonder how many people they tried to get more rent out of cos people are afraid to fight for their rights?
The fridge, repair bills, the rent and slowness to repair the heat this month, were all the final straw.
I've kept all the letters of requests for repairs on my apartment, along with all the letters of rejection. And when repairs were done, I kept the copies of letters with the bills they want me to pay.
I filed a dispute to resolve with the Tenancy Branch yesterday, for a reduction in rent until the repairs are completed properly and for the cost of filing to be repaid. He is not legally allowed to put those costs back onto me or retaliate as a result.
When I spoke with the tenancy branch agent, he informed me that it appears I have a very strong case.
The owner could be fined up to $25,000.00 if he's found to be deliberately neglecting my suite so he can force me out and jack up the rent, which doesn't reflect the neighbourhood.
I will not be bullied to moving. I like my apartment and the neighbourhood.
He's being trying harder every year to force me out. Seriously, most people would just give up and move.
I will not, cos then he wins, and for what? More rent. Aside from the owner being a jerk, I would have no issues with where I live.
Too bad for him, he's been picking on the wrong woman for too many years now. And now I've reached my limit. Gloves are off and I'v taken formal/legal action against him. Let's see how he likes that.
:)
I'd say I'm a good tenant.
He has other thoughts.
According to him, I'm a problem tenant. Solely cos I will not put up with his bullying antics. I stand up for myself. I know my rights as a renter and I'm sure he's hoping I'll tire and just move.
My apt is a 3rd floor corner unit over looking mountains and the Frazer River. Not bad for not living in the downtown core. He's been slowly renovating the building but it's only lipstick on a pig.
The foundation is slanted. The building is old. Repairs on the outer part of the building are being neglected as sheet rock had buckled and fallen off, exposing the inner wood to the elements.
The building doesn't have a sprinkler system in place. This is not mandatory for older buildings and upgrades are not regulated nor mandatory at this time. Since learning that, I've upped my renters insurances through the roof. The neighbour is great. We have all sorts of shops within walking distances and even better a Hells Angel's Chapter House at the bottom of the hill. Which means, NO CRIME. I've lived there 8 years and have never once seen the club house look like it's open, nor any bikes for that matter.
Anyways, in the last 5 years my apartment is slowly falling apart. Needs repairs. All minor but left much longer they will turn into major costly repairs.
I've asked for the following every year for the last 5 moving forward and have been rejected by letter every time.
*Painting - TBA says they must paint every few years within reasonable intervals. It's never been done.
I've been given many excuses as to why, but now I'm done. I attach the section code from the tba with all my request now. Rejected.
*Popcorn ceiling is peeling. - This is not my responsibility. I did not install the light fixtures 50 plus years ago. Rejected.
*New caulking in the tub - This gets done every year due to mold growing on it from behind the tiles. Again, not my problem and they do this one every year, cos threat of mold means a possible lawsuit if not dealt with. - On going repair.
*Fridge freezing my food. - I want a new fridge. I was told to make a list of foods spoiled. Um I still have to replace the food anytime the fridge does this. - Rejected
*3 inch hole under baseboard in guest room.2 yrs now - It's been filled with steel wool and tape since the ferret from the adjacent apartment entered my unit, then I ended up with a bedbug issue and mice droppings. - Rejected. However they repaired the hole in the other suite cos that one is visible, where as mine is hidden.
*Bedbugs - I've had two bouts of bedbugs now since the ferret and hole in the guest room. The first time they tried to send me the bills AFTER the unit had been treated. I rejected the letter/bill and filed a dispute against them. - I won. The second time they tried to say I'd have to pay if nothing was found. TBA says otherwise.
*Changed my locks- After the last house guess left, I was told I could change my locks at my own cost.
I did that. Then they sent a letter saying that I was not allowed to change them without written notice and sent a bill for tumbling the new keys. - I rejected the letter. and sent the bill back.
*Fridge freezer became plugged this month - Which caused my fridge to flood under the crisper and leak onto my kitchen floor, weekly. Repairs have been done, and they sent me the bill. I've sent it back to them with a section of the tba stating all major appliances are the responsibility of the landlord, unless they can PROVE the damage was caused deliberately or neglect by the tenant. According the owner by having food in my freezer that will block the drainage hole. What? I've had that fridge 8 years and have complained many times about it. Now this?
*No heat for the last 10 days. - This occurred during our artic snap and snow fall. The owners took their time sourcing 3 companies and a bidding war as to who would fix it. It's fixed now. I'm surprised I did not receive a bill for the replacement pump for the boiler that the whole building uses, as I was had the most trouble obtaining heat. (top corner suite)
*Rent increase notice in September - This is fine, the rent goes up from time to time. The Gov't regulates how much rent the rent can be increased every year. For 2010 it's 3.2% from your current rent. 2011 will be 2,3%. When I received my notice it was at 10%. I called and advised them it was wrong. They actually told me "just write the cheques for the correct amount, everything will be fine". I laughed and told them I'd do no such thing until I had a new rent increase notice in my hand with the correct amount. They hung up on me. Three weeks passed before I got the new notice slipped under my door.
Just to be a bitch, I went back to them and told them the date for increase was now wrong as the notice of increase came less than 3 months from the new date. Assfaces. You want to jerk me around, I'll make your job harder cos you didn't do it right the first time. I took it one step further and put the printout section about rent increase percentages under the doors of all 75 units in the building. (minus the building manager, not the owner). Wonder how many people they tried to get more rent out of cos people are afraid to fight for their rights?
The fridge, repair bills, the rent and slowness to repair the heat this month, were all the final straw.
I've kept all the letters of requests for repairs on my apartment, along with all the letters of rejection. And when repairs were done, I kept the copies of letters with the bills they want me to pay.
I filed a dispute to resolve with the Tenancy Branch yesterday, for a reduction in rent until the repairs are completed properly and for the cost of filing to be repaid. He is not legally allowed to put those costs back onto me or retaliate as a result.
When I spoke with the tenancy branch agent, he informed me that it appears I have a very strong case.
The owner could be fined up to $25,000.00 if he's found to be deliberately neglecting my suite so he can force me out and jack up the rent, which doesn't reflect the neighbourhood.
I will not be bullied to moving. I like my apartment and the neighbourhood.
He's being trying harder every year to force me out. Seriously, most people would just give up and move.
I will not, cos then he wins, and for what? More rent. Aside from the owner being a jerk, I would have no issues with where I live.
Too bad for him, he's been picking on the wrong woman for too many years now. And now I've reached my limit. Gloves are off and I'v taken formal/legal action against him. Let's see how he likes that.
:)
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