Ever feel OLD?

I feel my age today.
A little short w/people, not amused with the 20-something crowd I work with.

I have no *ha-ha* bone today. On the very serious side of things and I'm going to blame it on the face I haven't slept in sometime. I finally caved in and went and got some more sleeping pills. I've suffered from insomnia for many years, the more time goes by, the longer time apart are the episodes.

Anyone who's had this issue, knows what the signs are for themselves. Mine, are, my speech impediment will start to show, my eye will twitch to the point of people thinking I have a tick or something. At this point, I know its time to get some assistance from prescription narcotics.

Maybe I feel old, cos I'm getting over the drama of my life and stepping up and being an adult. Taking charge of my finances, my future, the people in it etc.. I don't have the options of falling back on anyone to bail me out, so really this is it. Being, acting responsible for myself.

I'm still dorky, nerdy, and charming as hell, its part of my charm, or at least that's what I call it. lol

Growing up sucks. What can I tell you?

Right now, surviving the day, going home doing chores seems like asking a lot lately.

~I'm up at 530AM out of the house by 630(at the latest)
~work 720-5pm, commute home by 6 ish.
~Do chores of dishes from the night before, bathroom cleaning before the weekend etc
~Bathe (what do you mean I have to take my clothes off, get into the tub, get out, and get dressed AGAIN?!!... that's asking a lot, I'll shower tomorrow...maybe)
~Make something to eat so I do not parish overnight(with my girth that's unlikely)
~return emails, phone calls, etc...
~and plant my ass on the couch for the rest of the night.

sometimes I'm not settling in for the night til 8-830, yes it's early, but when you're not sleeping it may as well be midnight.
I can not even humuor the idea of going out at night with friends for drinks etc.. I'm that TIRED. (last two nights I've been in bed by 9-930) ugh. I"M OLD.

I wonder if this is how its starts for elderly people?
At what point does a person of a certain age over 40, 50, 60, 70 wake up and decide, "I'm going to get up at 4am, eat dinner at 4pm, and go to bed by 6pm"... is this how it all starts? cos if is, I'm freakin hooped.

Hopefully this will pass. I can be an adult and not feel like an elderly one.