Deal Breakers & Breaking Up

My Devoted Stalkers,

I read some blogs recently and today that provoked me to rant about bad dates, deal breakers, and breaking up.

I've gone out with many men who have left me feeling like shooting myself in the head was a good idea.
Others, have simply disappointed me with their lack of common sense and manners. I've gone on more first dates than should be legally allowed and even fewer second dates. I might die alone at this rate.

Deal Breakers
~If you drive away before I'm at my front door, let alone inside the lobby of my apartment. Deal breaker, there is no second date. Ever.  Now, I'm sure there are men who just don't know any better. But actions speak volumes and if you're interested in my well being and safety, just as a gentleman, I"m not interested in seeing you a second time. I'm sure I've passed up many very terrific men that could have been "the one", had I let this one slide. 

~Talking about your ex's or sexual desires, conquests and favorite positions with me on a first date..... ugh. Did I ask you? How did this topic come up? Even worse, when I mention that its inappropriate dinner conversation and you continue, you're lucky I don't leave you right there and then.

~Lie to me. If you've told me the smallest of fibs to try and impress me, and I find out..... Don't call me ever again. Seriously, if you're willing to lie about something so small and properly pretty insignificant, what else are you willing to lie about? No thanks, moving on.

I've been known to lack tact when telling someone I'm no longer interested. That probably stems from the fact at that stage, you've pissed me off or annoyed me to great lengths I don't believe I owe you any tact.
If I liked you, and we've dated for a bit, well that is a different story. But if I've got nothing invested other than a couple conversations and night out, don't count your eggs that I'll tell you gently that you suck.

 Bad Dates
I've had many.... Where do I find these guys? (at the time of these dates, my bullshit detector wasn't working well, cos I agreed to go out with these men).... Maybe I attract them.
I need better Jedi skills to ward off da crazies.

~One lied to me about doing drugs.
We actually had a great day/night date until we left to go to our next venue.

Hiking around Rocky Point near my house, great date, good times.
Til we were on our way to meet up with some of my friends at a local pub. My date was pulled over by police and arrested. (We were in separate cars)

Turns out he was:
1) Out past curfew
2) Reporting missing from his HALFWAY HOME
3) Was a recovery drug addict
4) Had a box of needles in his back seat (which actually turned out to be his aunts…when….
5) His aunt reported her car STOLEN, and needed the needles for her diabetes
6) Yes there is a sixth… he was only 20 not 28 that he said he was (he looked 28)

The police said they would release him to ME if I would drive him home, otherwise he was going to jail and the car was being towed (it was already hoisted up) Of course my first thought was to ask if I was in any danger and explained we were on a first date etc. The cop took some pity on the kid and told me to give him a few minutes cos he was crying in the back of squad car.

Ya I drove him home, and he actually had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to see him again…. FML

~ One date picked me up, in steel toes boots, torn sweats and shirt. I asked if he had just come from work and he said “NO”. Longest 3 hours of my life. When he excused himself from the table (he actually just got up and walked away) the table beside us (maybe barely in their 20’s couple) the young man leaned over and quietly suggested, “I think you should get a headache before he returns”…. MADE MY NIGHT! And I promptly did that. I never thought I’d be one to use an excuse to get out of a date, I’m usually direct.

~ Second coffee date with Mr Comedian. Our first date was good, mostly cos I couldn’t stop laughing; he was a Brit, moved here a month earlier. I love dry wit.

We met at my coffee house were I’m a regular and everyone knows my name etc... He instantly suggests we “go back to my place” with a creepy tone. NO Thanks! I don’t have men in my apt until later on (lie but he doesn’t need to know that) long story short, he’s a grown man and threw a foot stomping hissy fit.
YES-HE-DID! I stood there waiting for the punch line as onlookers gawked, the punch line never game. I left him there. I called a cop friend working around the corner and went and took him a coffee til I was sure Brit boy was gone.

How times have changed... not.

Breaking Up.
I've never really been good at breaking up with someone and come across as too blunt.
I mean they will never learn if someone doesn't stop holding their friggin man-child hands.

~I don't want to date you anymore. (of  course they ask why) I don't use lines like "its me not you" on anyone.. ask me why, I'll reply with "I hope you really want to know, cos I will tell you"

I've broken up with a man and much like a physco g/f  made a scene once.
My date had yelled at a handicap person for being in his way, and not understanding completely that he wanted past him.  I let him have it. At this stage in the dating game, I don't think I mentioned to him that I have a sibling and two nephews that are mentally and physically handicap to some degree. 
Needless to say, I made a scene, (never yelled but firmly and loudly made my opinion of him known), drew a crowd and received an applause when I finished berating him for being an insensitive assface.
... Can you believe he called me to apologize as he didn't know about my sibling and nephews? What? That doesn't change the fact you treated someone who never asked for their hardships in life, like he was less of a person than you?

So My Devoted Stalkers, what are some of your Deal Breakers, Bad Dates & Breaking Up stories?
.....GO~!