Prenupials.

A g/f is getting married in August of this year.
They've been in the first weeks of planning etc, and suddenly WHAM!... it might not happen at all now, or at least be pushed back a year.

The troll fiance suddenly wants a prenup. That's fine,  I'd want to protect my military pension too.  But it's the stipulations he's adding that has her livid.

Aside from his military pension etc  he wants her to maintain a certain weight, keep the house, the pets, ....in short the list of things he's added is similar to that expected of a house wife from the 50's.

Now the fiance isn't a catch by any means. He's 5'0", stocky, has a temper of a petulant 5 yr old, and seems to think cos he makes more money, she should cater to him while he sits on his ass playing video games, drinking beer and making a mess, then bitches at her cos the house is not presentable.  (she works too)

You should know something about yourself is true when your friends are telling you that you are not a catch but you've landed a good woman who has put up with you (aka settled) and if you screw this up, it wont be long before someone else sees how great she is and scoops her up.  My friend dated down. Way down.   In his defence though, he does have a huge heart, he's fun and throws a good party, however, none of that is ever directed at the woman who has given him the last 8 years of her life.

I only met CM last year and from what I can suspect, she has low self esteem.  Very low.
Was that a result of the troll man slowly breaking her down? I'm just learning now that she's been very unhappy for a long time, but they set a date to marry two months ago???

I've heard the troll mention to friends that CM would never leave him (while laughing) cos she'd miss his money. WTF! She makes her own money, although they have a joint bank account (I hate that people do that and do not keep an account of their own), everything is in her name. The bills, the truck, (he doesn't have a licence and needs her to drive him everywhere) the insurance etc.  So if I'm not correct, I think it's the troll NEEDS her around so he can spend his money on toys, while she finances the household needs.

He wants this huge wedding for $2G.  I nearly choked on my drink when she told me that.
He's learning quickly that even the simplest of all weddings cost more than a few thousand dollars, even with the help they're receiving from the base he works at.

When she mentioned to me last night about the issue of the prenup, and pushing back the wedding, I strongly suggested that she write her own prenup with a notary and get her own damn bank account. In it, it should have terms about about his weight, the amount of sex they should be having, the comments he leaves on pictures on facebook of women he doesn't know (like he could land any of them) the names he calls her. *unt is his favorite. Yes it is, and she stays with him. But thinks he's entitled to do whatever, behave however, whenever, coos he's the man.

She agreed with a lot I had to say, however this threw me for a loop. She says, "He's solely worried about his pension when we break up." 

WHEN! Not if.  
Both of them have now used the word WHEN to describe the end result of their marriage before it's even begun. This is not a good sign. I can not push her to do anything she isn't ready for. I've given her my two bits upon being asked and it echos the same answers other friends have given her. Don't get married to this one.

I wonder how women get caught up in relationships like this and stay?
There are so many kind of abuse, and this one seems to be based on the verbal and financial controlling. If would never lay a hand on her, cos his closest military brothers would kill him.

Since my friends started getting married in our 20's, I would observe how many of them gave up control over their own finances and would have to ASK for money. Money they earned!!!!

I swore then I would never have a joint account. I will always have control over my own money. And if a relationship has to end cos I wont submit control to the man, well then, that relationship MUST end. I'm okay with joint house accounts where you both contribute money into it for the mortgage etc, but aside from that, hell no.

As lonely as I am, being single has it's pro's to it. I do not have to fight about finances with anyone but myself.

Would love the input from all of you, as some of you have been through these exact issues.
I'd like to know what causes you to stay. How you dealt with it.