Went for drinks last night with JD. Who informed me that The Douchebag and her b/f are indeed engaged again. *sigh*. Having mixed feelings about this, then I wonder why do I bother? Seriously.
I ended things cos he didn't love me anymore. He didn't want to spend his life with me. He was much happier screwing around on me and her when he was with the other. I had convinced myself I would rather be the one he cheats with, than cheats on. At least that way I knew what I was getting into.
Finally woke up one day last year and decided I deserved better for myself..... and by continuing this on/off again relationship with the Douche, I was never going to move on and find happiness.
This past year went by so fast and I *thought* I adapted quite nicely to being 100% single and not screwed over. Then I get this news that they plan to marry. August 2012. My heart did not sink. My stomach did.
I've finally come to realize that they have found each other. They truly 100% deserve each other.
I say this after learning more things that have spewed from his mouth via our mutual friend.
She can have him. And all the drama that will ensue.
I sent him a text msg last night, letting him know I was aware of this new news, and asked that he just not contact me anymore. Not even on a friendly level. But just being friendly and being able to hangout with me from time to time, in his own little way, he's still having his cake and eating it too. Then so I am I.
Do unto others... I have to cut all ties.
Total disconnection from him is a must. A MUST! I really really thought we'd be friends. Cos ex's CAN be friends. However, some can not. And it's for the best of everyone involved that we're not even friendly.
By friendly, I mean no phone calls, text msg's, pokes on facebook, no going for coffee. Of course I'll be pleasant if we cross paths in public, but I've got to stop replying to his msg's when he asks "whats new., how are you?" etc.
It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but I am a little sad that this is the way it must be.
Even as much as an douche the Douche can be, he had his moments often enough that he was a "good guy" but what good guy, cheats on his fiance? No we did not do anything like that, but when you're planning to drop $100G on a wedding, one would think you do not stay friendly with the ex of 13 years.
Sadly, he played both of us. Me and her. Not just when we were broken up either.
I wish I could show you a picture of her. Although she isn't completely ugly, but she is far from pretty. She's neutral. Not sure how mentioning that is relevant, but it gives me some piece of mind that he dated down.
I wish them nothing. No harm, no ill will, no happiness. I wish them nothing.
So the next time I get all whiny and/or sad about him, would someone please just take me into the back 40 and beat some sense into me, please!
I'm more annoyed than sad right now. Annoyed at myself that I let JD tell me anything. I'll be emailing her asking to refrain from sharing, even if I ask the questions "how are they?" DON'T TELL ME!!!
Tonight I will sulk, be sad, whatever and move on.
The positive side to this is,,, Holly McNarland is asking fans on facebook to take pictures of themselves after a big cry and then again when they are happy etc.. It's an idea for an album cover.
She'll get the sad one tonight for sure. :(
First!
ReplyDeleteYour story is a sad one, but not a new one. Pretty sure this happens to everybody. Next time don't bother TELLING someone to not contact you- just don't bother responding. Ever. Show by your actions!
New post up- think you'll like it!
Caleb
Good for you, stand up for yourself and STICK TO YOUR GUNS girlfriend! I agree with Caleb, don't tell him you don't want to hear from him, just do it and know that you are better without hearing from him.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Actions speak louder than words.
ReplyDeleteThanks xo
I'm sort of going through the same thing, I wish I had the courage to tell him to leave me alone, no calls, no texts. My ex of 5 years and I broke up 5 years ago, we had no contact for along time but for the last year or so he comes back into my life every 2 months or so, and everytime I think i'm over him, all those feelings come right back. Even hearing his voice brings back feelings. My stupid way of thinking tells myself that I let him go, and this is his way of coming back, so I think that maybe I should fight for it. He is with someone, so I have to remember what an ass he is, "what kind of guy cheats?" Relationships suck! How do you know what's the right decision to make though? Should you fight for something that you think will make you happy in the end? Who knows!?
ReplyDeleteI give you alot of credit, at least you told him to leave you alone. And I think with all of your blog followers, you'll have the strength to get though it! Your words are really starting to encourage me! Thanks for sharing!
You're welcome Drea K.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy. Right now I'm bebating alittle blackmail exchange... seriously.
I figure if he wants me to be with him while he's engaged in exchange to keep me silent, he should buy me things. Pefurme, shoes, pants etc... Of course I'm never going to do this, but it's crossed my mind today (mostly cos I'm mad) what's more disturbing, if I presented this idea, that I should be getting something out of all this ....he'd probably be okay with it.
For once, I'd really like to throw my morals out the friggin window. I need some stuff damn it.
Ugh, ugh, ugh! You know when someone stands far enough away that from your perspective you could crush them with your thumb and index finger? That's what I want to do to this guy! You don't want him. Go with what you said in the beginning: she can have him! Getting away from his crazyville is the best idea ever. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteLB@30 - Kids in the Hall skit.. "I'm crushing your head"... youtube it,, it's funny shit.
ReplyDelete:-)
I've never managed to be friends with any of my ex's. I'm civil with my ex husband, but only because he is the father of my boys. Its always difficult.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult for anyone to find the balance to cut ties, especially when D seems to want to have his cake and eat it too. I think you have made the wisest choice for yourself and that is all that matters. If she wants to marry a man who knows she's enough for him or spend that kind of crazy money then let them. It isn't on your head or heart.
ReplyDeleteYou're fabulous, chin up, it might hurt and that's fine - just turn up Adele's new album loud - she's got some good done you wrong kind of music
@Ca88 - I'm friendly with all my ex's. Been so extremely fortunate that way. Mostly cos I was friends with them first before dating.. etc.
ReplyDeleteBut times are clearly changing and I won't always have that luxury.
@S&P - Thanks. I'm going to buy it after work.
I AM FABULOUS! Thank you. :-) You're right, it's not on my head or heart, and she's in for a world of surprise when they start having kids.... if they were to seperate, he'll take the kids. He's made it clear from day one (when he was 19, he's now 32) that he will never give up custody to the mother...and I can see him winning that. It's not my life, I have to stop consuming myself with them. The "what if's".
Ick... I know the feeling. For anyone who thinks they're over an ex they've really been through hell and high water with, find out they're having a baby or getting married and you'll REALLY know.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you! Some ex's can be friends, but others like Douche, cannot.
I understand....
ReplyDelete**hugs**