We're officially over the hump of the half way mark in this 6 months.
Recap:
Month 1 - 40 mg
Minor constant nose bleeds, lethargic, dryness, slight tremors, aches and pains.
Bad ccholesterol in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 2 - 80 mg
Heavier nose bleeds, Minimized by cauterizing, itchy due to dryness, no tremors, aches and pains are manageable.
Bad ccholesterol higher but still in check, liver function in check, pregnancy negative.
Month 3 - 40 mg
Tremors constant, lethargic all the time, emotional, aches and pains blah, nose bleeds minor but constant, minor acne break outs all over my body, small staph infections appearing (shoulder, back of hand, inner thigh)
Bad cholesterol too high, liver function decreased, (hence the decrease in mg's)pregnancy negative.
I have my next appointment this Friday and I'm all about ready to call it quits.
The side effects are all so minor but really taking it's toll on me this month.
Month 2 was by far the easiest month of the 3 so far. Funny cos it was that month that I was the least healthy on this.
Since we decreased the milligrams, I'm having minor acne. It was enough to make me cry over the weekend. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm not so sure anymore that having acne free skin forever is worth this crap. I know that's not true. Part of me though hopes I'm taken off the accutane this weekend, the other half of me does not... I really want clear skin forever.
I've gotten use to not wearing makeup. Love it. One thing I'll take away from all this, is I know now that I can indeed keep my hands of my face.
I let Douchebag come over on Sunday. He called to say Hey, and he was in the area. I lost it on the phone with him. Just sobbed. He came over and just let me let go for about an hour, then left. It was what I needed. Exhausted and feeling deflated, I napped hard after the meltdown. It's moments like that, that remind me he has a decent bone, but it doesn't minimize all the other shit.
Not sure the meltdown was all about the accutane though. I think it was a combo of Laurie's situation, Mothers Day and Mum's anniversary passing and her birthday coming up. In short, I guess it was a woes is me moment/stress cry.
Functioning today, not great, but better. Just tired of feeling run down, like I'm going to get the flu or something, all.the.damn.time.
That which bothers us the most always makes us stronger in the end :-) hang in there !!!
ReplyDelete@Jeff - Excellent words to live by. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteFeeling better today than when I wrote those words. Hopefully feeling crappy was just in passing.
xo
Unfortunately, crappy days are always there, but it sounds like you've pulled thru.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the whole acne thing- it's gotta suck. Is Accutane your last resort?
@Kas - My acne is quite minor in the realm of things, it's hormonal and consistent. So there is ALWAYS something present on my face. :(
ReplyDeleteWe've tried topical creams, other medications, but as soon as we stop, a pimple or 4 pop up and take weeks to go away, just in time for my period to arrive and have it start all over again.
We've been talking about the Accutane for 4 years. It wasn't a quick crast decision to take it. Although my dermatologist is all pro for this, but everyone manages it different.
There are small pro's to it..
- no stomach upset
- no yeast infections
- no pores to be seen anywhere!! (thats not permnant though)
- its relativity easy to take.
- you do see a difference come the 2-3 month mark.
- learn to keep your fingers off your face
- can't pick cos it hurts beyond belief.
- learn a simplier cleaning regiment. One that works, no fuss no muss.
- no longer have to wear makeup!!!!
I have a natural rosey completion so this works in my favour.
Now if I can just get thru the next 3 months without harming my liver or putting myself at risk with super high bad cholesterol.
Going to start buying wine and beer every payday etc, so when the time comes, I have a good stock on hand. ;-)
Woow. I'm blessed in that department. My brother got everybody's share and then some (the girls were spared).
ReplyDeleteI don't even have any advice to offer except maybe hang in there and be safe about it (which I know you already are!).
:D
I drank this past weekend at my brother's house-- wasn't as much fun as I'd thought it'd be. I think I'll go back on the wagon...