Crackbook - Mental Health.

I deactivated my facebook account. :=)
Not sure how long I'll last, but more importantly, will anyone notice? And how long before they do?And will they say anything via the million other ways to contact a person?

Not sure I need to be on crackbook anymore. HA! Almost said that with a straight face...almost. I'm being a needy, emotional spazz these days, and until I get a family fix (see next spring) I don't see the end in sight. :=(

I have lunch with one of the bosses daughters from time to time. Whilst I don't trust her when it comes to anything work related, she has consistently been a stable ear to vent to when it comes to being a spazz and my emotional turmoil. She has this amazing ability to take all the puzzle pieces of my life and put them together so I can see them so clearly.

She's once again stepped to the plate while on our latest lunch outing. Without giving you all the details at this very moment, (they will follow at some point), I've decided that maybe I'm going to start seeing my shrink again. Actually search for a new one that works weekends and/or week day evenings.  I have a few topics issues that I need help sorting out. Nothing huge in the scheme of issues that are out there. Mostly, it's to do with finding where I stand with certain people and learning how to cope again, when to let go, when to fight for it.  I don't want to turn into a Crazy C.

With my siblings making assorted effort to stay in touch, me missing my family back east and my parents to the core, friends turmoil, feeling unappreciated, unloved, being lonely for some male affection(not sex) and life etc, it's becoming a bit too much. And at the risk of becoming too harden, bitter, uncaring, and a unhealthy cynic... I think I need to get some non bias professional counselling again. It is at this point I think I would benefit from a bottle of wine and a stress cry.

Had I not just finished my monthly gift from Mother Nature, I would chop all this up to getting it soon.  It's too frequent to ignore anymore and say maybe it's the Accutane making react to the depression part of my past. Maybe it is. Regardless, it's getting the better of me. Consuming most of my waking hours. :( Doesn't help that I've had NOTHING to do at work for over two weeks now.

BTW: I applied for a new f/t job. Boss knows about it as I advised her, so she wouldn't be caught off guard should I get short listed and they call for references.  She knows she's not going to get to keep me forever, and frankly I think she is probably surprised I've stayed as long as I have.

It's all compounding. Stress cries are not cutting it.

In the grand scheme of things, life isn't bad.
I have a job, my health, the right to vote, no boyfriend beating on me, no kids, some friends, etc... so there's that.