I'm THAT Girl... :-(

It's official, I'm that girl. I'm the other woman.

Sim over @ The Dating Rital wrote this post today and it got me thinking.

I'm not a good person.
In her post I commented that she shouldn't trust her man, due to texts she found. I wrote what I did, cos I've been that other woman.

Sometimes knowingly, most of the time unknowingly.

In the past two years that I've been single, I've engaged in things I'd be pissed at, if it happened to me.

6 men in two years, who all had girlfriends and one wife.
Now before you light your pitch forks, it's never my intention to steal the man, though, still horribly wrong.

 I even tried justifying it. "If he doesn't respect her, why should I? Not my problem."
And for the girls I didn't know existed, I didn't feel bad, until afterwards, and honestly, had I known upfront, I probably still would have done it.

Shame.

2 of the events, I went into knowing the g/f's existed.
1 was physical. The rest were not. Only via sexting, web cam, msn/facebook chat and phone calls. I know, that doesn't make it any better. It's still cheating.

Now, I could never date any of these men. As I would never be able to trust them knowing they did what they've done with me. I would never cheat on my b/f.  Ever. So how can I do this?

It wasn't until Simm wrote her post and I got to thinking that I even saw the pattern.

I've got some serious morals, principles, self respect and dignity to revamp.  There is a picture saying going around on FB "How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours".  It's haunting me a little.

I chose to entertain these events. Me. No gun to my head. All on my own. I chose to be the other woman. Not to maliciously hurt anyone. Not to steal your b/f. It was done out of excitement, boredom and loneliness.

I'll be making a very tangible change. I won't entertain the proposals that come my way if I know about the g/f. And the ones I don't, well that's always going to be tough. But once I find out, it will be over.

I put out good karma often, but not where intimacy matters.  I'm hating myself over that. I've never felt good about it, and tried again, many times to justify it to myself.

Just to be clear. I've never done this to any girl I've known. Ok, only one, but I do not respect her, nor him. Come to think about it, I don't respect any of the men that I've had an affair with on any level. It also appears I didn't respect myself either.

Don't judge me too harshly, I'm changing the ways. I have to live with it, and I don't want that hanging over me or come back to me 10 fold.