The Roomate is a Button Pushing Dork.

...but I love him anyways. Ok, not LOVE, but I dig him. He's fun, and annoying.

Last night he asked very randomly why I was single?  I wasn't sure. I hadn't thought about it really.  Also asking if I liked being single? "Well, not exactly, but it has it's bonuses". I replied.  Pushing the button hard he aggressively advised me the following snarky tone, "It's your own fault, you have no one to blame but yourself! Get out there and meet people, maybe lower your standards while you're at it!"

*blink* *blink*

What?

If he had simply asked me the question in a different tone, I might not have been so defensive or heated with my reply. "I meet people all the time, doesn't mean I want to date any of them. Being at fault for my own single hood is my own responsibility, yes, but there is no fault in BEING SINGLE".  We're both home during the week. I have a life Thursday - Sunday, so I'm not exactly worried about my social life. A social life he's not home to witness Friday - Sunday.  Loudly and annoyed, telling him assuming anything would be rude of him.

This went back and forth for a few minutes, losing my sense of humour very quickly. Like a light bulb turning on, I realized he's deliberately pushing my buttons to get a rise out of me. Remembering in an email he likes to do these kind of these to get under people's skin.

Great, I'm living with a hot sociopath.

He lighted up when he realized he'd taken it too far and actually annoyed, semi hurting my feelings. I hate, hate it when I feel like I'm being asked to defend reasoning in my life.

Being annoyed with him, quickly shot a few digs at him myself, trying to keep it light, ending the conversation with: "If the fun and games of pissing people off is what makes you happy, don't do it with me. You have to live under the same roof, so unless you want me to be miserable all the time, resulting in making you miserable, bring it. Otherwise, fuck off."

Accepting his apology, he didn't realize I'd be so sensitive. I have no problem with his questions or his replies themselves. It's the tone he conveyed that there was something fundamentally wrong with being single and that I wasn't capable of not being single.

I guess we're still on a learning curve living together. He'll learn quickly. I'm all fun and games, but not when you personally attack me on any level. 

The short of it is, he said was trying to tell me I have good qualities for a g/f, and was just surprised that I am indeed single etc.. .

That's nice, you could have just said that.


People who are in relationships tend to forget what it's like to be single.  Implying we should just  be snatching up any offer out there etc. Like we're desperate or something.  People tend to forget we have types, qualities, natural attraction and chemistry we're looking for,  etc. not everyone who asks us out meets those standards. 

Lower our standards?
Sure some people have unrealistic ideas of who they're going to end up with.
The 37 yr old, 5", balding, 350 lb man, who only wants to date girls under the age of 27, that are 5'9 or taller and models, might just be single for a long time.

The rest of us, I think, are fairly realistic about the leagues they date within.  Plus I  personally like to casually meet someone and just have those feelings and developments grow on their own. Forced dating is like searching for an instant relationship without taking chemistry or attraction into the factor.  It's all pretty and shiny, but are you going to love it in a month?  That might work for some, it doesn't for myself. I've never been one for instant anything, let alone love.  I don't fall in love fast or often.

Different strokes for different folks.