Huge LC (old house guest) Update.... see below

....stayed tuned.

Just getting my ducks in a row before I can blog about this. It's huge. I've called in favours from unlikely places, just "in case".

Updates to come. The day has been spent updating siblings where all my important paperwork is etc, and talking to people from professional to un-. Like I said, getting my ducks in a row first.

No need to freak out, I'm looking at the bigger picture here. All the proper authorities will be contacted within the next 10 days etc.  Covering all bases.

Stay classy blog-o-sphere.  Tell those you love; so.

xo

Here's the update...

... LC was beaten to a pulp over the weekend. She stood her ground, and took a huge beating as a result. The pictures are horrible. :-( As a result of not running, many many police came. Her ex was arrested, put in jail, issued a no contact order, and a few days later, she was granted an emergency protection order against him.

The hard part; advising her to put her affairs in order that same weekend. No piece of paper is going to stop him if he wants to end her life. Personally, if she's alive 6 months - year from now, I'll be extremely surprised. This has been a long time coming. I've been preparing myself for this ending since she moved back into the house 2 years ago. The beatings started shortly after she went back.

I've learned that abuse in any form is a gradual thing. So leaving is never an immediate action in most cases, its a process. However, I'd like to think if a man ever laid a hand on me, even once, he'd have less than 24 hours to find a new place to live and go into hiding. Even accidentially smacked me or something, that would be it, it would be over.

Verbal, emotional, financial, spiritual are forms too. If the roommate and I were dating, I'd be in a verbally abusive relationship myself. Alas, we're not, and he's just un-medicated.

For any of you that might be new to this blog, I can only offer a few pieces of advise:

1. Always have control over your own money.
There is absolutely no reason not too. Ever. If you make a pay cheque, you should not be handing it over to someone else, then asking for money to do or buy something. Sure, have a joint account where you put your share of the rent, bills etc. but outside of that, the rest is yours, period.  Don't let anyone tell you, you're bad with money etc, so they should handle your finances. If that is the case, go to your bank and obtain a financial advisor, that is what they are there for, to teach you about finances in ways you'll understand. The person that controls the money, controls you. If you control your own, you're in control of you.

2. Should your bf/gf ever lay a hand on you, file a police report and leave. If you don't, they will get a taste for it, knowing you're not going to do anything about it.  Regardless if you have kids or not, leave.  There are services out there to assist you in the transition. Don't ever say you're staying cos you have to for the kids etc.

3. If you're unhappy, leave. Don't make excuses "but he has a good side". If you have to watch what you say, or how you say it, what you do, who you hang out with, etc, leave. No one should have that kind of control over you. It's one thing to be considerate, but not controlled.

Read up on domestic abuse, simply to educate yourself. Plently of government sites with links. Learn to recognize the signs, cos they are so subtle, and then wham! You're in the middle of an abusive relationship. So if you can educate yourself and others by being proactive about it, you might make better choices.

Think about it like sex ed. You don't have sex for the first time without knowing about the consequences and risks. Or driving, you never get behind the wheel without learning something about the rules of the road and how a vehicle works. If you do, then you're a risk to yourself and everyone on the road. 

All I'm saying is, we all think this will never happen to us. It's not happening to me, but I'm affected by connection to it, and as a result, I'll most likely have to watch my friends' life end.