Sigh. My friends are lame. So, so lame.
Today I'm officially "middle-aged". 41. ugh.
A good friend of mine is living out of town, but comes home every other month for other obligations. In that time, she makes the best of the time, visiting with family, friends, ex spouse, and teenage kid.
A few days ago, she told me to be ready for pick up at 630pm today. I know the group of friends we have. (Actually we're all friends thru her, not close, but we all do like each other, but NONE of us, hang out with each other, without her). They would all be getting together and taking me for drinks etc. Simple and nice.
Since then, certain parts of the province of Alberta are under a state of emergency, due to flash flooding, and raising rivers. Causing havoc in it's wake. Short of it is, my good friend can not make it home til Monday, cos she can't make it to the airport. She's currently stuck in d/t Calgary. That's fine, as long as she's safe etc.
Here's the kicker. The other friends, 8 of them, are all here in my town. Not one of them called to see if I was still up for drinks, and dinner, or up to do anything else. I got to thinking, it was a little weird none of them actually wished me a happy birthday, and I haven't actually heard from my friend stuck in Calgary.
Hmmm....
I finally get caught online by one of them...
Gf#2 Are you drinking yet?
Me: Ummm, no, I don't drink alone, and I'm currently at the driving range, why?
Gf#2: oh, have anything planned for later?
Me: I'm at the driving range, taking a break right now. I'll be here til about 8, then I'm not sure what kind of mood I'll be in. What are you getting up too tonight? (not letting on I know they totally suck at surprises)
Gf#2: oh. (long pause) Not sure now.
Me: why not?
Gf#2: Did you know "other friend" didn't make it home? She couldn't get to the airport.
Me: Yup.
..... longer pause between her responses
Gf#2. Oh. (pause) umm.(pause) ok, well let me know what you decide to do later.
Me: .... have gone offline.
My cell is blowing up with text messages from a small few of the key players in this "surprise", not one asking what I'm doing, or if I have any plans, but asking if I knew our friend couldn't make it home. These people forget I've know her for 26 years, and we talk frequently.
What gets me all annoyed, is, a whole friggin day has gone by. Not one of these people have contacted me to see if I had plans, or even to wish me a happy birthday. Instead seem to be getting all huffy, that I'm not sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, so they could surprise me. Guess that threw a wrench in their plans. Well someone should have been assigned to ensure that I would be home, and not make other plans.
I don't feel bad if they went to any lengths to plan something for me. They went about it all wrong. I know it's the thought that is suppose to count, but the fact that these text messages I'm receiving, all have a undertone of annoyance to them that I'm not sitting around the apartment crying, is not my problem. Someone should have been more abreast of making sure I'd be around.
I've treated myself to a special coffee, a long bath, a home pedicure, the driving range, and champagne for myself later.
I'm not thrilled about being middle-aged now, and still not having a husband, having wasted the last decade of my life with a man who didn't love me. I'm not about to continue sitting around feeling sorry for myself. So this year, I made a date with myself with my gf said she couldn't make it home.
Besides, the more hours that pass, the less interested I am in doing anything at all.
Am I wrong? I don't think it's accurate or fair that I'm receiving even a small ounce of grief that I threw a wrench into their extremely poorly executed plans.
If one of them just came out and said, hey we made dinner plans for you, sorry we didn't reach you sooner, can you make it? I would. It's the coyness that is annoying.
Just disappointed at the effort. Execute your plans better, or don't attempt anything at all. I think I'm most annoyed that any of them would just assume I'd even be home at all when none of them called me to make plans.
Sorry to hear that it turned out like this, but I think it's nice that you celebrated your birthday in your own way anyway. Happy Birthday for yesterday! And I think ages are changing as people are living longer, so 41 is still quite young these days.
ReplyDeleteYou just said none of you hang out together without her, so you shouldn't be surprised that they're not taking you out. You're assuming that they had a surprise party planned, but their actions suggests otherwise. And now you're upset about something that may actually just be in your head
ReplyDeleteNo. I actually did know about the plans. And was told theyd still be surprising me. When the friend couldn't make it home. She told me what they had planned. I went out with other friends. Since then I've learned that they are just really bad at event planning. They did have the best intentions.
ReplyDelete