It's amazing when you put thoughts, and feelings into actions.
In the last 5 months, a lot of changes have been made.
A gf, my roadtrip buddy,ended our friendship, only days after meeting and hooking up with a guy. The guy, was my date 5 days earlier. I was willing to look past that, cos they had a connection. But no, she made that decision for the both of us, and simply blocked and deleted me from her life.
At first I was super pissed. Cos I hadn't done anything. If taking the higher road makes me the biggest bitch in the world, then I guess there is a special place in h3ll for me. Surprisingly, it didn't take me long to get over it. We hadn't been friends for the last 6 years. Reconnected, and I was thrilled with that. We didn't last a whole year. That is on her. All her.
I asked myself why was I trying to make things better with someone who 1)did me wrong 2)deleted me from her life. So I stopped. And it was liberating. So much so, I decided to let go of some people in my life that I'd been holding onto for too long. Cos we had history, or there were some good times.
I reevaluated 6 ppl. 6 ppl who are no longer in my life. No big dramatic fights or goodbyes, I simply deleted them from social media. My phone. All conversations.
The one that was pretty hard was my best friend of 28 years. A friend who in the last 1.5 yrs refuses to TALK to me on the phone, and only texts me when her kids or the monster that beat her up isn't around... or if she needs something, then she's got all the time in the world. There are a lot of things that led up to this, not just her neglect on our friendship.
Only a couple months ago, I asked for her address, cos she been moving around a lot. Her first reply, "why?" and never did give it to me. She comes to town twice a year, and can't make time for me. Not even an hour. This year was no different. This time I knew when she was coming to town. I deleted her from my phone Aug 5. Aug 8th, she texts me "hey, I'm in town, coffee next week?" I didn't reply, and deleted her from all social media. Why msg me at all and go thru the motions of pretending you're going to make time for me the following week, when you leave in 2 days? She is aware we're not friends anymore, after she deleted all our mutual friends. IF they had they're own rapport, why would that be necessary? Not my problem.
The saying "Sometimes, you have to play the fool, to the fool, that thinks they're fooling you."
And that's how it felt.
In the beginning I was sad to let these ppl go. I mean I'm going to miss them. But not the friendships. The neglect. Lack of manners etc. However, it turns out, all the self-help and positive readings I've been absorbing has truly helped me realize my self worth. Not ONE of the 6 ppl have made any to get in touch with me once they've realized we're not friends. Either thru realization of social media connections, word of mouth. It only reconfirms my decision to let them go, were the right ones. The hardest decisions to make, are usually the right ones.
Onwards, and upwards. I'm not perfect, but when you let go of the negative influences, that become your negative influences, it really does open up life to new ppl and things in a positive way.
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