I've been raging and having major anxiety all this week.
I could have used my words as weapons, and been pleased with myself.
I had to have some serious quiet time and check-in with myself, find the source of this negative energy. Rather than feeding it with more rage cos I haven't felt I could put my finger on it.
In short, I've come to the conclusion that I am stressed.
*We have a serious investigation going on at work. One that affects my department directly. The claim behind the investigation is bogus. Although since a claim was filed, the proper protocols have to be taken. Understandably.
What gets me red mad, is once it's found to be an invalid/fraudulent claim, our department will still get a lashing. Just because a claim was filed. Regardless if it's found invalid.
*Another issue which I am unable to discuss at this time due to its legalities.
I'm breathing, but the rage is rooted deep.
*I'm picking fights with people I care about. Becoming less and less tolerable towards lack of common courtesy on many levels.
*I'm annoyed with my body. My intestinal health has been giving me some grief for the last 6 weeks. Finally received the results of the culture, all good! no parasites or other nasty little things. This means making some restrictions on my diet and sticking to them. Just shoot me.
*I have to have positive self talk with myself daily. Thanking my body for the hard work it does! Carries my fat ass everywhere. Strong and flexible to stay active and healthy. Thanking the universe and my body for being able to get up every morning without assistance. There may come a time in life that that isn't possible. So I'm thankful for it now.
In term, I'm sure I'll feel better for making changes. it's just gonna suck donkey ass!
School starts up again in a week. This time it's not self-paced, and I'll be accountable for my course load in a classroom. YAY! but ugh to the late nights I'll have.
There ya have it. No harsh words here... I'm saving them for a special occasion. ;)
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