I guess this is what I get for not posting for sometime....

You're getting a novel!

I haven't had anything to bitch about, or celebrate. Plus I'm on the computer for 6-12 hours a day, the last thing I want to do other than check my FB, is blog about it.

The new job is going good. Although my department has switched managers due to maternity leave, and wouldn't you know it... I breath wrong and I'm in shit. It's been lots of little things since the new manager took over. Lovely woman, bad management skills. I'm entirely too busy to be bothered with bullshit, I was blown away when some "issues" were brought to my attention.  Granted, I'm not the only one getting in trouble for working hard.

First of all, it's year end. The work load is insane, but doable. I'm fast. So fast in fact, the new manager does not believe I'm completing the work load on my own, or correctly. She is wrong. The work speaks for itself. It's everything from arriving too early to work. (yes, I said too early). What? I don't claim overtime if I'm there early on my own accord, so what's the issue... to being too fast, to being friendly with staff when they come to my desk etc..

Seriously, woman. Pick your battles, cos my deadlines are not being affected. It bothers her so much, we had a department meeting today. No shit. Thankfully, those in the department including the old manager all had my back and each others.  I love my job, the company and the people, so I was floored needless to say, when she had a problem with my stellar performance.

Men
Oh where to begin? I've started an online profile again, and with some success this time I might add. However, I'm entirely too jilted and suspicious of people to run with it, when someone is paying me a compliment. I'm chatting with a few guys, and one who is physically out of my league. He doesn't care though; he says.

The Backup Boyfriend.
Sigh. I still really like the idea of us dating. But it's just not running smoothly. As friends, we don't skip a beat really, but romantically, we are so.not.on.the.same.page.
He has expectations which I think are a little barbaric. Okay, who am I kidding, he wants a wife/slave. Who will do his laundry, cook his meals, and not ask him about his company etc. Ummmm dude, HAVE YOU MET ME?!!! And he scratches his head when he wonders why I'm not jumping on board. Dude, you will be my friend til the end of time, and occasionally when I'm desperate, a booty call, cos really, you lack skills of a 40 yr old man. I don't say that to be malicious, but come on!!! At 40 you think you'd have a trick or two up your sleeve.

And the first one of you that says, "well teach him".. I'm going to smack you. It would be fine if he was late 20 something and still could be taught. At this age, you should know a few things, like reading simple body language. gawd.

Speaking of smacking... I smacked the roommate last night.
He's been poking the bear all week, and took it a step too far. Sadly he happened to be kneeling in front of me when it happened and I smacked him hard on the top of his head. The second it happened, he flinched, and I knew I triggered something. An old memory, a flashback, something. 

I regretted it the very second it happened for a multitude of reasons. 1) Hitting is NEVER okay. Not on any level, and not if he deserved it. 2) The fact that I though smacking someone would make everything better, even for a millisecond, makes me want to barf. 3) That he pushed me so far that I thought this was the only acceptable option to get the point across to stop, and bugger off.

I've been sick with grief all day over it. I've apologized already, and will do so again when he gets home tonight. I'm not expecting him to accept my apology.

That's about it.
I have a few dates lined up this weekend, aside from that, catching up on sleep.

Coffee Snob!

Coffee for me is solely a weekend thing now. As part of foods I need to restrict from my diet and take my stomach issues more seriously.

I usually make my own on the weekend, as I've started spending a decent amount of money on a .lb of coffee. It's a treat. This morning I realized I do not have any filters!

Instead of being smart and just going to the store and picking up a $3 pack of filters, I decided to be lazy and spend $6 on a Caramel Machiato. Smart right?

The cafe across the street is running a "second chance" program for people re-entering the work force after being handed a rough hand in life. The people making my coffee is not the issue. Everyone deserves a second chance at earning a skill.

It's the fact they couldn't make the coffee I asked for.

Then a bad thought crossed my mind. I'm a horrible person. I'm a coffee snob!
If I'm paying $5-7 for a cup, I want someone who knows how to make, to make it!
Not to ask the customer if they want room for milk and cream......umm no. If you knew what was in it, you wouldn't be asking me that! (I didn't say that, but I thought it).

I'll refrain from going out in public to get coffee from now on. I think it's great a local business is involved in the community, but it made me realized I need to calm to the f####k down a few hundred notches. It's just coffee. This is their life. A second chance at it. No one is so self important that they (see"me") needs to be having shitty attitude thoughts towards them cos they got my coffee wrong.

A Lesson We Have To Relearn From Time To Time

Don't chase people.

Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard.

The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you.

And Stay.

I've had to remind myself of this more often, more recently.

I'm my Mother's Daughter.

People Pleaser.

I do things for others, for the most part, cos it makes me happy to do so.

What doesn't make me happy, is when I forget to see

if the relationship is a give and take, or only take.

Lately it's has been the latter.

When I come to realize I've been exhausting myself, with very little

or no gratitude in return, I get bitter.

Very very bitter.

And jilted.

And jaded.

Which leaves me with a Negative Nelly attitude.

I don't like her.

Not one bit.

It's sad I have to get mad at the

world, myself, people

to get my ass in gear and just do what makes me happy.

Being active.

My friends, the majority of them - are not.

They will be my lazy friends.

I will obtain new ones.

Ones that like the things I like, and

want to leave the house to do them.

Not just talk about doing them

one day.

Indoor Rock Climbing

Hiking (not a fan, but I do it)

Snowshoeing

Camping

Surfing

Yoga

I'm on it.

If you're with me, great.

If not, I'll call you when I want

to sit around and do nothing

with someone.

Nicest Compliment

I forgot to mention a few other things.

FarmBoy- *sigh* I'm a little smitten.
He complimented my skin yesterday. "It's a Rose and Lilly complexion", as he blushed when he said it. Can we all say, "Awwwwww". 

That was the third compliment in less than a week about my skin By 3 separate people!
I guess having been on Accutane for 10 months if FINALLY paying off. :D

Okay... enough of that.

I have new COMPUTER glasses, and my word, what a difference.

That is all.

New Job. New Men.

How sad is it, that I've changed jobs again. Yes again. I don't even get excited for it anymore. Look how well that's worked out for me in this past year.

Although I did run into a girl I worked with at the Property Management Company. It's been 3.5 months and they haven't filled the position. They are going thru temps like crazy. I've been informed that the h/o is paying attention to this and is actually going to make that one position, a two person job!!! I'm so happy for them. It will be sweet release for all those who've been doing extra duty trying to keep that position afloat for the last few months.

I left the recent full time permanent position with no notice. At first I was sad when things started going sideways fast, cos I was lead to believe this was thee.perfect.fit. Filed a formal complaint with their head office and called it a day. I had received an new offer the day I quit the last one. I've learned by having a few shitty temp jobs this year, that NO JOB is worth verbal abuse, or unethical behaviour. So this time, I did something about it. And gave them the big F-YOU! Didn't hide anything. Didn't backtrack when they called me to bitch me out. Nope, just hung up and filed a harassment complaint with their h/o again and labour relations. Think I'm scared of you? Bring it on bitch.

The new job is close to home. Pays what the position is worth! My first day I spent the first part of the day being walked around and introduced to every single employee there. Nicely done new job, nicely done. How I'll feel a month from now, who knows. For now, it's what I need and fit. It's a large company, one I'm very familiar with. The position is data entry. Pttfff, you say.  I didn't know one person could do so many entries. I will never have down time! It's easssssssssssy work, but stressful due to deadlines etc. It pays very accordingly to the load. :)

BOYS!
Okay, actually, this time MEN!.. yay me for dating men this time!
Yup, two on the go!

The Back-Up Boyfriend -  is still in the picture, and making the effort he didn't make before. Has been apologizing ever since I told him why the whole walking 1/2 a foot in front of me made me breakup with him. We've recently had a few make-out sessions, and *sigh* he needs training.  Not completely hopeless though.

FarmBoy - *sigh* If logistics weren't so much of a minor issue, we'd already be a couple.  He lives on the Island. Damn the Island makes some awesome men. And while we'll both take turns commuting, it's still further than either of us would like. We have plans to spend a few upcoming weekends together. :)

Stay tuned.