2020 What a year!

Be sure to really look over the Terms and Conditions of 2021 before agreeing to ANYTHING! 

2020 has been a year of growth for the whole planet. Pandemic and that orange monkey in the states can go step on lego!

First things first, with all the complaints of people around the world crying, "my rights" wah wah wah, just sit back and reflect about if you had to go through 2020 without the access we have to the technology we have today? That's what I thought. Still sucks donkey ass, it could be much, much worse. 

Amazing how that job you have, you were told wasn't able to ever be remote, suddenly was, with little effort at that. Which I'm extremely fortunate for. 

I am in shock and amazed at the number of people crying over their rights, and government control etc... seriously? Don't wear that seatbelt, or wear a helmet when you ride a bike, skateboard, or not take x.y.z on a place cos the Tsa said so. I believe people will eventually come around and start wearing their masks and practicing stricter protocols. Not only for their own safety but for their own loved ones and the community around them. 

2020 Recap

Started doing a video sharing with a friend. Mental health homework really. We send each other short videos daily, talking about whatever; our day's concerns, laughs etc. it's been a great sounding board.

Went rollerskating this past July. Wore rentals instead of my own skates; hit a bump in the rink and everything in my brain said I had a back-stopper. I didn't. Stuck my foot out to stop, and went feet overhead and landed on my back, hitting my head, and knocking the wind out of myself. Thankfully I had a helmet on! 

Long story, short, I broke my back! I thought I had broken ribs. (they were bruised) The T8 thoracic to be specific. Thankfully it was a clean break and would heal without surgery. Flew a girlfriend in from Calgary to stay with me the first week. Best decision ever! 

Upon my return to work a couple weeks later, the tone and disdain I was being met with by management having to accommodate my return to work requirements (reduced hours, need to take standing breaks etc) were palpable. 

Needless to say, after much effort to get better, follow doctors' orders etc, my contract wasn't renewed in November. Which was okay by me. I hadn't been happy there since my return. 

Thankfully, I landed a position within a few days. :)

Covid has taught us to sit back and really take stock of the important things in life. 

I love my tribe. I love them hard. And us huggers, we're not okay! This brings me back to my opening lines; imagine going through this pandemic without access to technology!!!  

This past year we're all grown and quickly adapted in ways we never had to think about before. Being direct about the bubbles we share, being blunt and direct has now become an acceptable norm. True colours of people are being discovered all the time.  Bittersweet it is.

Moving into 2021 will be delicate, stern, and much more candour. Another colourful year ahead.  

Be true to yourself, your family, your tribe, and be unapologetic about it!

Day 21 of Covid-19 Isolation

Day 19

My mental health is taking a beating today. Well, all week really.

I'm not eating properly, I occasionally forget to eat. Yes, you read that correctly.
I have my work routine down to an art. It's the rest of my lift.

I've managed to keep my apartment in top shape. Since I'm not doing anything. When I'm waiting for a project to post on the work computer, I tidy, empty the dishwasher, vacuum daily. 

I find I'm itching to fight with people.  Stupid people that is. Those who are not practicing social distancing. Just carrying on with their lives, and barking at the rest of us that we're overreacting and that this pandemic is just the flu. 

Can't fix stupid, dumb dumb. I have a hard time not being baited into a fight that no one will win. I've decided to not reply now. It's hard.  I want to tell them how stupid, and dangerously inconsiderate they're being. At last, it won't change their opinion. nothing will until it happens to them.

My throat has hurt all week. And I don't manage my emotions well when I'm not feeling well. that's really how I know I'm under the weather; when I'm quick to shoot from the hip, rather than think rationally before speaking. ... look how far I've come! :)

I am extremely fortunate to have a position that I can do from home. And grateful for it. I work for a company that is an essential service. we provide protective gear for many industries.

So getting back to my personal and mental health routine...
I'm not doing it. I do not work out. I do not do my bi-daily yoga. I just do not do it.
Not sure why. I make lists of things I need to do, and all but personal routine gets completed.

I'm open to suggestions!

My friends and I are using apps available to us to stay connected. I'm starving for human touch.
I avoid the news and watch a lot of happy videos, and participate in the 7pm salute from my patio every night.
There is only so much we can do.

I have enough supplies to not leave the house at all for a bit. I go out once a week to gather supplies so I never run low, or out of anything. Also, it's nice to have backup in case anyone I know becomes stuck, I can help out.

If I can just get my ass in gear and do the workouts, the yoga,  I think I'd be in a better mental state.

That's all I have at the moment.

Please stay safe, do your part, and think of others when you do have to venture out.  It's about all of us.

Coronavirus-19 Isolation Day 1 - and other stuff

  Today is my first night in self-isolation. While I've been practicing social distancing, I've made myself available to a few people who are unable to get out and about. I've run groceries, doctor appointments, etc. Although now that I'm home, I will save 2.5 hours a day between not having to get ready in the morning or commuting to/from work. I'll also save gas! Funny now that gas is at an all-time low in 20 years in Vancouver, we can finally afford to drive, and we are not allowed to go anywhere. Murphy's Law.

  This morning I was in the midst of requesting to work from home, even though our company hadn't issued a phase 3 protocol as of yet. 2 hours later, we were in Phase 3. IT Dept working furiously to get us all connected on the networks to work from home.

  I can not tell you how much my level of anxiety has lowered since we've been told to work from home. I will still work my regular hours, however, a little slower, since I will be 100% paperless. It can, and will be done.

  Can not begin to tell you how ignorant some people in the lower mainland of Vancouver BC are. Not taking or practicing any precautions. At this point, if you're not doing your part, you're contributing to the death toll. Harsh, yes. True, extremely.

I ask you to educate yourself with the facts backed by science, and not by an orange monkey leading the states, or conspiracy articles. No scare tactics. This shit is real! Do your part! Be safe, and keep those around you safe!

  Check on your neighbours. The elderly. Make sure they've got the basics, the medications. If not, offer to pick it up for them. Cook them some meals that can be frozen.  In order to survive this pandemic, we have to take care of each other, as much as we do ourselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


  Work has been great! My contract was extended until the end of summer. They're trying to work out either a hard end date or hiring me.

  Our payroll gal is annoying as grrrrr.  She's a walking condiction.  I'm learning to challenge myself not to react or be affected by her. It's mental health homework the way I look at it.

  My cat is going to be so confused over the next while when he discovers I'm home allllll the time.
Maybe he'll misbehave a lot less.

  I've made a to-do list of minimizing the apartment. If you buy stuff, to store stuff, you have too much stuff.  That is exactly how I feel these days.  I have way too much stuff. I don't entertain at home anymore, why do I need 7 frying pans, 6 casserole dishes, 40 mugs etc.  Same with my books, clothes etc. it will be a long process, however, it's going to be so mentally freeing to unclutter my life.

A few things I've noticed already before mandatory isolation becomes a very real thing for the lower mainland, how much white noise the planes cause. now the planes cause. More than a few times I've been caught by surprise that the birds are loud. You can hear them! It's nice. Living in the city and being able to hear more nature than traffic is lovely.

Gonna sign off here. Stay safe friends.

Trust in the Work Place - Part 2

A few weeks ago I posted a small rant about our Payroll person sharing confidential information with me - maybe others.

That hasn't changed. I've started recording the day/time/what was said.
Not sure it will do any good. I'm picking this battle carefully. Especially after our more recent incident.

Our department was under investigation for a human rights complaint from a short term employee - 3 weeks to be exact. He had an attitude, was extremely rude, snarky, and inappropriate most of the time. Swore at me twice on his last day. To the point I had to change my voice tone to a more stern position, telling him to settle down. He waited till his last day to file the complaint. which I find suspicious, considering the day in question was a week before he quit.

We gave him the benefit of the doubt; we thought maybe (in his head) he was being funny. He wasn't.

Long story: We were all interviewed regarding a specific day with the HR department. Asked specific questions etc. Payroll person wasn't there the day in question. She went on and on how she wouldn't say anything even if she was there etc.

I threw him under the bus. Hard. There is no way I'm going to let someone kick us after he's gone.
I contacted an employment lawyer to inquire what our rights are, should this go south. His first question was - "why did he wait until after he left to file the complaint?"

Fast forward to this past week - we were finally addressed as a department with all the executives present. Had a short toolbox talk regarding what is/n't appropriate in the workplace.

Payroll person - for one that claims she wouldn't say anything - she threw all of us under the bus.
Certain topics can be a little off-kilter, but they're never loud or malicious. I could tell by the look on my teams face they were furious.

I took a deep breath and added to the list. Without naming her, I mentioned discussing bonuses, wages, etc were inappropriate. The team knew exactly what I was doing, said the look on her face dropped, originally being smug was now was white in shock or disbelief.

In short, we collectively agreed that we felt we'd been attacked without a chance to defend ourselves since they won't divulge what was said. Yet, we're reprimanded. The executives asked for transparency, we gave it to them.

Payroll person hasn't said anything to me regarding throwing her under the bus. She still discusses payroll topics with me. I'm slowly learning her tell. I will use that to my advantage in protecting myself. I don't discuss anything with her. Not my dating life, casual outings etc.

Needless to say, our morale is down a bit, everyone is afraid to talk about anything.

That's all for now.

Words as Weapons - Rant

I've been raging and having major anxiety all this week.
I could have used my words as weapons, and been pleased with myself.

I had to have some serious quiet time and check-in with myself, find the source of this negative energy.  Rather than feeding it with more rage cos I haven't felt I could put my finger on it. 

In short, I've come to the conclusion that I am stressed.

*We have a serious investigation going on at work. One that affects my department directly. The claim behind the investigation is bogus. Although since a claim was filed, the proper protocols have to be taken. Understandably.
What gets me red mad, is once it's found to be an invalid/fraudulent claim, our department will still get a lashing. Just because a claim was filed. Regardless if it's found invalid.

*Another issue which I am unable to discuss at this time due to its legalities.

I'm breathing,  but the rage is rooted deep.

*I'm picking fights with people I care about. Becoming less and less tolerable towards lack of common courtesy on many levels.

*I'm annoyed with my body. My intestinal health has been giving me some grief for the last 6 weeks.  Finally received the results of the culture, all good! no parasites or other nasty little things.  This means making some restrictions on my diet and sticking to them. Just shoot me.

*I  have to have positive self talk with myself daily.  Thanking my body for the hard work it does! Carries my fat ass everywhere. Strong and flexible to stay active and healthy.  Thanking the universe and my body for being able to get up every morning without assistance. There may come a time in life that that isn't possible. So I'm thankful for it now. 

In term, I'm sure I'll feel better for making changes. it's just gonna suck donkey ass!

School starts up again in a week. This time it's not self-paced, and I'll be accountable for my course load in a classroom. YAY! but ugh to the late nights I'll have.

There ya have it. No harsh words here... I'm saving them for a special occasion. ;)