Profile Picture & Second to last night with JV.

Before we start...

My new profile picture was taken from Cypress Bowl Mountain in Vancouver, BC.
(30 minutes from my house) While it was 15 degree's on the mountain, and gorgeous!!!. Down below all that fog (for 10 days) it was 3 degree's and miserable. Visibility ZERO!

But what a picture!!! I hope they find the photographer!

So its been a tense week at home, as the roommate is getting ready to leave.
He's had loud parties, almost had me evicted, and has started lying where lying wasn't warranted.

Last night was no different. I had a rough day and came home to enjoy the silence.
JV had a date over... ugh. I like this girl but my gawd is she loud. the were "one upping" each other in volume and talking over the already loud TV while watching hockey.

At 10pm I asked that they go to another room, so I could relax, unwind etc before going to bed in an hour.... (such a mum thing to say and we laughed about it...)
They SAID okay, but what they must have heard was..Go on the patio make as much noise as humanly possible, then go to bed and take it to a super sonic level.

at midnight I was short of throwing myself on the ground and crying from pure exhaustion.
I yelled at JV to come out, and he apologized after seeing how close to tears I was.... that worked for all of 5 mins.

On the suggestion of a great PR friend, he said in the morning as I leave the house, flip the breaker switch. :) That will reset his alarm clock to a blinking 00:00 *giggle*

Got up at 6am.
I found earplugs and I think they pipped down around 5 am..... Wood frame building + roommate = Shhhhhhhhh

I made as much noise as I possibly could.
Slamming cupboards, doors, stomping my feet, and I even managed to fall into his door with a very loud crash. .. In my defense this isn't normally my character, I'm more than reasonably respectful 99% of the time.... but when pushed to the limits and repeatedly asked for some quiet on top of tension my life... I snapped.

As I walked out the door, I could hear his date snoring, so I KNEW they had finally fallen asleep and flipped the breaker. :) yes I just stepped into the Evil pool, and I kind of like it. I'm feeling mighty smug right now. I'm sure Karma will bite me later, but COME ON!!!

JV moves out tomorrow after work and I couldn't be happier. He has been making nice all week. I had minor surgery on Monday and Sunday while I had to do a purging cleanse, he was sweet.
But I have to remind myself of the things I learned about him in the past weeks.

For all the complaining I do, we really do get along well.
Any small space is going to equal some frustrations. Although in the bigger picture, they are minor... just annoying as hell when they are taking place.

I'm going to start making my place more of a home for now, than an apartment that is serving a purpose. :)

Thank You My Friends- Going to Rock the ass off 2009!!! Who's In?

Goodbye Old Blog, Hello new One.
(posting from old blog)

Hi all!
Just wanted to stop in and post a quick hello..
I haven’t written here in a while, cos well, this is my angry, shoot from the hip reaction blog.... I've started a new one that is more comical and about where I am now.

I'm happy people. HAPPY! Yes I said it.

After blogging my angst on here for how many years.... I’ve found a spot in my life surrounded by a good job, with people I like (ok well they don’t annoy the living crap out of me) its a start lol, better friends, re-invented myself and started to be the change I wanted to see.

I like me. FINALLY!

I really had to hit an all time bottom low and get a taste of myself from another person, just too see how much I don’t like that type of person, and what was I going to do about it?

I had to make same hard decisions. Its was now about me. Not whether or not I was going to hurt someone and be afraid if they were going to be mad or hate me.... didn’t care anymore.

I slowly examined the friendships of others and asked how do I get that!?.... Loyalty, love, real friends, not those who are only around to gain something then gone once they have it. (Even though those people come and go from our lives, there is always a lesson to be learned from them) And now..... I have the beginning of those things. I treat my friends with a different level of respect (always had respect for them) but it’s different... I’ve stopped that "a woe is me, I'm wounded" stage of my life and started being the age I am.

Dating has changed too. Really changed. Again. I had to ask why I keep hooking up and attracting only losers. Well it was simple. I had no standards for myself. As much as I’d like to think I did, I never stood up for what I believed in, wanted from a man. I just let them in my life cos it beat the crap out of being lonely, and alone. It was an empty feeling.

Granted I realize I am human and will have moments of weakness, but I can not express enough to you how much I like where I am. Who I am. Who I want to be. Those I want to be with me.

A friend recently wrote a posting on her facebook about her 2008, and it was truly inspiring. With that posting I again realized, I'm allowed to be weak, make mistakes, gain, lose, learn, live, love, and laugh, even if it’s only at myself.

For all of you who have stood by me, when I drank too much, cried too much, laughed at inappropriate things, ranted on and on and on about nothing...

I thank you.
From the bottom of my heart.
Without all of you this work in progress would have taken a whole lot longer.

Much Love Xxx

Good Riddance and First Time a Wing Woman.

Not sure where to begin.
My first entry stated that I have had very little drama in my life.

Since JV has moved in, I’ve been constantly questioned about my intentions, and if I’m canoodling a scheme with his ex girlfriend, to get back at him for cheating on her.

FIRST OF ALL! You weenie, I’m the one you cheated on her with!
(At the time I didn’t know he had a live in g/f) in any case why would I side with her when we’re building a rapport as friends?

Received my first serious complaint from the land lord about a party JV had this weekend til 6 AM! Umm not cool, we’re 36 not 16. Normally I probably wouldn’t care, but I like my neighbours and we watch out for each other. I have to do some damage control this week.

And more so, JV is moving out. Until yesterday I was sad about this news.
However, without giving details as this is a public blog. Turns out he has not been honest about anything and apparently has been miserable from day one.
I thought we were pals, could even be friends. But knowing what I’ve learned.
I couldn’t happier to see him go.

I thought about confronting him on what I now know, then thought…. really? Why bother?
The end result will still be the same. We’re not friends, nor will we ever be.
I don’t need friends like that; I wouldn’t treat my enemies that way.
I’ve deleted his number, and facebook from my account, and the second he hands over the keys to me when he moves out, I’m deleting and blocking his ass from my email account. FOREVER!

I’m surprised at myself and how well I’m dealing with it. I honestly thought I might dwell over it and try to work things out, cos everyone knows, I need more local friends. But no. I made a very healthy decision without much thought really. I’m not even mad. Being mad would imply that I care. I’m impressed with my own resilience in all this.

Okay – First time a Wing-woman!

I went out to see the amazing Adam Woodall Band Friday night. The band consist of Adam Woodall himself, (and Rosco band) Jesse tucker (Jessie Ferrell Band), Jesse Goodin (Jessie Ferrell Band) and Dave Hall (AWB & Rosco Bands).

The band always puts on a good show and plays a few times a week in a variety of venues.
People are always super friendly and mixed crowd of 19-50 year olds. Of course there is always one sour grape in the bunch, but usually overlooked while scoping out hot men and people watching or singing at the top of lungs along with the band in this small pub.

We go to these gigs, occasionally meet random people who end up becoming good friends over time. This night was no different. Before the night ends I've had a full pint spilled on me, then one bought for me. Hot firemen flirting with my friend, cos she yawned… in all it was a good night. I make one last trip to the loo before leaving and left my friend downstairs, when I came back a handful of very attractive firemen were telling us we must come to this other bar with them… umm OKAY! Why wouldn’t we?

We go, we get lost, we find the bar and the boys who seem sincere to see us.
Then head back to one of their apartments for a night cap. (Very out of character for me).
Funny thing is, the man flirting with my friend earlier is the one I’m connecting with.
Not sure when we traded off on them, or if they traded off.
Strong Scot accent and witty as all hell and mighty quick too… I couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s been three days and my cheeks still hurt.

It was becoming clear to me that my friend and this guy were getting a little “too cozy” so
I asked the one if he’d like some privacy with my friend, he lit up like a tree, YES MA”AM!
So I grabbed the wing man and told him we were moving into another room to give them some privacy, and ended up getting some smooches myself. Til *yawn* 7am.
So the wing man and wing-woman hook up. Giggle. Well not quite but we had a good time.

We had a good time for such a random night.
We’ve heard from these men since then, and may see them again if not at another AWB gig.

If anything, I’ve had more drama than I know what to do with.

and i'm not sure why this post looks the way it does after I publish it... weird.

Roommate-less, Finding a Boyfriend.

I've had a rough couple days. My oldest sister who is slightly mentally and physically disabled, has learned she has a "growth" in her intestines. So having learned that in the last couple days and then coming home today to learn my roommate is giving his notice!!!
Needless to say I'm a little bitchy.

Now he's taking it personally and acting like I'm being bitchy cos of him.
While getting his knickers in a knot, I tried telling him I do have OTHER things going on in my life. Sure, him giving me notice was just icing on the cake. He's convinced its all because he gave notice. ......I at first I tried to tell him otherwise, but its useless.

OF COURSE I want him to stay, he's a great roommate (although he's been acting a little "off" the last two weeks) and I like having a break in the rent.

So I took a bath to reflect this new information, immediately did my finances to make sure I"m still okay... I am. *phew* one less worry.

This is what I came up with.

Regardless of any nit-picking I COULD do, it comes down to this.
I'm sulking, mad, sad, and happy he's moving out, but the end result is I'm going to be alone again. I've been alone a long time, and until this past hour, I did not realize, I'm not just alone..... I'm lonely.

okay stop laughing.

I've lived alone for the majority of my life, and have enjoyed it. My space, my rules, my mess, having to answer to no one. etc... I've had male roommates, but never lived with a "boyfriend".
Instead of giving into his negative tude, I've decided to turn it into a positive.

Sooooooooooooo I've learned I'm ready to have a life with someone! Yup. Settle down!
I really like having someone to come home too, cook dinner, watch sports with, share my day with etc.

I'm ready.
Who knew having an a guy I dated briefly, who cheated on his g/f, live with me, could open my eyes to something so huge.

I'm 36, single, only minor baggage that could fit into a carry on bag, live alone, have a job, my own money (even if its very little) my own friends, a life of my own.

I want to start building a life with someone, together.

Okay as I read over this, it turns out its more of a rambling rant and not a statement that I was trying to make. But I'm sure you've gotten the picture.

So back to online dating, going out with almost anyone that asks me. Going to make some serious effort to find someone to date exclusively and not this "passing the time" with crap I've been doing.

I've dated about 40 men in the last 3 years and do you have any idea how many of those men were worthy of a second date, let alone worthy of dating exclusively?????
5. yes FIVE.

How many more frogs do I have to kiss, humour and reject before I find the one of MY dreams?

I have the face of the man I want.... just not the rest of him. sigh.

Input please.

sorry for being all over the place.

Ferret In the Apartment!!!

We had a little excitement in the apt on Friday night.
I kept hearing “tapclicktapclicktapclick” coming from the bathroom area, but couldn’t locate the source… it wasn’t raining so I knew it wasn’t the rain hitting the vents (same sound)

After a while, I was on the computer on the floor in the hallway and just happened to look up towards the bathroom and saw a FERRET!!!! In my bathroom!

I jumped up and screamed like a girl, threw a shoe at the patio door to get Jason’s attention.
When I told him what I saw, he actually asked me, “are you sure it wasn’t a spider?”

RIGHT!! I screamed like a girl and now I’m standing on a chair in the living room over a spider I could have squashed with a book? Weenie! IT’S IN YOUR ROOM!

He went to look and found nothing, he looked in mine, nothing.
Some time goes by and I can hear it scratching at Jason’s door.
I tell him I can hear it, but he thinks I’ve smoked some crack or something. Lol

Finally he hears the big “thug” against the door… grabs the broom and opens his door, walks in, and then steps back about two feet..
HOLY #*$^& THAT’S A FERRET!!!
SO I laughed and said, “Umm ya sure it isn’t some big spider eh?”

Hahahah, after it followed Jason around the apt, I learned it was my neighbours and there is a hole in her closet that leads under the heater board in Jason’s room.

No longer afraid of it, but holy crap! Until then we didn’t know if it was wild or not, we guessed it was domestic but still not touching it til we knew.