Love Stinks

I wished for you. And you came true. 

The only thing I forgot to wish for, was that you'd love me back. 

.......Lesson learned.

Spazzy & Blessed.

I'm glad I logged in today. Congrats to those who've had birthdays and have gotten married!!! woot woot! 

Not much is going on at this end. Other than a mid-life crisis, if you can call that "nothing much going on". haha I'm a spazz. We all know this about me. I've had nothing to write about. Nothing positive, nothing negative. Til now.

Let me say, with the things I'm going thru, dealing with, managing at the moment. I've learned just how blessed I am with the people in my life. And some, I wasn't even aware were invested in me. Getting the most genuine support from people I had no idea, knew anything, or cared.

 Someone at work, that I rarely talk to, other than in passing. Asked me to lunch today. On our way back, she linked her arm with mine, and asked if I would mind if she could say a prayer for me. She has such a unspoken mom vibe about her. She just knew there were things I couldn't talk about. I agreed. She said a prayer out loud as we walked slowly back to the office. I cried. The whole time.

She wished the most beautiful things for me. In love, life, and for my soul. I wasn't aware I needed so much, until I found myself wiping tears away, agreeing with her words of prayer. I sent her an email, thanking her for the things she said. She said welcome, and to never speak against the words she said. Only to continue to have faith, in myself, in the things I long for. I cried again. At.my.desk. so not cool. It got to the point today where I could no longer hide it. I'm still waiting for my new poker-face to arrive in the mail. Even the roommate, took one look at me when I got home from the pharmacy, and without saying a word, poured me a glass of wine, put it on the counter and went to his room, shutting the door.

I knew I must look rough, for him to be silent, not take a dig, and to be nice too boot!!! Had my glass of wine in the bath, then got dragged out of the house for dinner, by a gf I take the bus with everyday, whom I only saw for a minute on my way home. She too, could tell.

 I am blessed. For the comfortable silences, and support. Not everything needs to be talked out in length, to feel better. Sometimes, its enough for someone to say a prayer, give a hug, a rub on the shoulder in passing, or just pours you a large ass glass of wine, says nothing and leaves you alone. :) While I'm sure I'll still cry myself to sleep from the pain I'm in, and all the little nagging emotional tidbits... This too shall pass. This too shall pass. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. THIS.TOO.SHALL.PASS!!!

 ......Right?

Playtex Sport Tampons

Someone at work gave me a box of Playtex Sport, I tend to favour Tampax Pearl, buuuuuut free is free. So I'm giving them a try.

Upon opening the box today, I noticed they have little motivate sayings on them. Not the usual place you'd think to see something positive, whilst sitting on the loo, taking care of your monthly needs.

Here are some of the positive notes you can read:
*Strong bodies, strong minds.
*Mental attitude affects performance.
*Go Team!
*You're a take-charge kind of girl.
*Keep a clear head.
*Neither of us are giver uppers.
*Face your obstacles head on!
*Just Go.
*Celebrate a bold attitude.
*Just get in the game.
*Don't cry-get back in the game.

There are a few more but are cut off at the ends.... Some of them I can't help but giggle, when you're reading them while you're doing your thing. Another way to look at it is, when most of us are feeling blah from lack of iron, calcium, and estrogen, it's nice to see a little cheer-leading note to remind you, as a woman, how strong we are. We are highly emotional creatures. We can balance a variety of different levels of emotions are the same time. We forget to pat ourselves on the back from time to time.

I've been surrounded by strong, opinionated, caring, open, and well educated women, my whole life. I was taught that our periods are a reminder that we are in charge of our bodies. And to work with your period, rather than looking it at as a curse. Sure, it's a pain in the ass sometimes, with the mind numbing cramps, and migraines. As women, we can actually tell a lot about our health in general from that time of the month. I personally learned I had hypothyroidism, as a result of my period acting up.

Long story short, if you don't already, learn to celebrate your period. You capable of a lot more than you give your credit for.

And on lighter, and hilarious note....  "Richard" who wrote a facebook note about being lied too about our periods.

Richard Neill to Bodyform 8 October at 21:30 via Mobile

-Hi , as a man I must ask why you have lied to us for all these years . 

As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things, I felt a little jealous. I mean bike riding , roller-coasters  dancing, parachuting, why couldn't I get to enjoy this time of joy and 'blue water' and wings !! 

Dam my penis!! Then I got a girlfriend, was so happy and couldn't wait for this joyous adventurous time of the month to happen .....you lied !! 

There was no joy , no extreme sports , no blue water spilling over wings and no rocking soundtrack oh no no no. Instead I had to fight against every male urge I had to resist screaming wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu as my lady changed from the loving , gentle, normal skin coloured lady to the little girl from the exorcist with added venom and extra 360 degree head spin. 

Thanks for setting me up for a fall bodyform , you crafty bugger

Bodyform Responds: 

BLOGGER HELP PLEASE

I have a blog that has shown up in my reader feed, and is polutting it with it's blog updates. The only thing is, I don't follow this blog. It's spam. And I can not for the life of me figure out how to remove them from showing up in my reading list, without adding them first, which I will not do. Anyone know how to block a spammer from showing up in your reading list, that you don't follow? Any assistance would be great. Thanks

Impossible Standards? Or just standards?

I have a tumultuous relationship with my Aunt. My mum's best-friend.  Over the years, she's attached my character, love life, weight, education,employment, memories, and once even calling me a liar in regards to my gymnastics history. Cos SHE didn't know that I was competing at, it didn't happen. Throw down hissy fit didn't happen. 

My siblings, would disagree, as they had to escort me too and from meets/competitions until I was old enough to go myself. I laughed it off, while she seriously lost her shit over it. 

Last year, she was in town, and bailed on plans we had, less than an hour before she was to arrive at said meeting place. Not even an apology, and blew it off with a very nonchalant ending. 

I lost it. I had enough. Elizabeth Singleton had pointed out regularly that "family" shouldn't treat others this way. And as far as my Aunt was concerned, I was the daughter she never had.... when it was convenient for her to consider me so.  I never noticed until E.S. pointed that too. 

Executed an email explaining how she made me feel. Like I have to beg for her time, when she's in town. It was an hour I wanted and she couldn't even give me that, cos something better came up. Long story short, I explained she owed me an apology. Period. She can not preach to others about how to treat people, and not practice it herself. I do not like inconsistent people. 

A year has passed, and although I do miss her at times, after all we have 35 years of history. It's the most relaxed I've been. Possibly ever. No longer being belittled about my love life, weight, education, employment, character over all. It's a nice, nice feeling. 

The other day, an anonymous reader wrote part the following:

"You have these impossible standards for both friendships and relationships. Then you get angry when no one can live up to them. When measured by those standards even you fall short".

Granted, maybe my expectations are higher than the anonymous reader, but then, in reality, we probably would only be acquaintances. Their comment was a result to the entry I wrote about "Do we Train people how to treat us?  I have high expectations for my relationships. And I do indeed get upset when I'm let down. Feeling dismissed, or lied too. 

Whether they're friends or romantic.  Personally, I do not see an issue with that. I like to be treated how I treat others. I have standards. I hold my friendships, romances, and any other connect as a sacred thing. Too many people are too casual about how they treat others.

I am excellent at compromising. Being flexible. Although I do believe I ever blog about that. I only bitch about short comings, and disappointments here. It's also no secret, that I'm wound tight a lot of the time. I feel what I'm feeling in the heat of the moment. That needs work. I admit it. 

Acquaintances are the people I like, however deem them either unreliable, or a little flaky etc. Or maybe I like them for specific things, but wouldn't lose sleep over them bailing nearly as much, cos I don't put much effort into them. Those are acquaintances, not friends. Friends, are reliable, trust worthy, awesome in general. I may not talk to, or see them every day, but know when it counts, they're there. 

There is a difference. 

My issue may actually be, that I've considered some people friends, when they should be in the acquaintance pile. Anonymous reader, I am considering what you said. I don't necessarily  agree with it, but it's been food for thought for sure.  

I'm sure there are those of you out there, that have been let down by those you trust, or hold to a certain standard.