Rhetorical Bullshit & Stupid Factory... Where boys are made.

This past week its been a rough go. Emotionally anyways.

Due to receive my monthly womanhood, add a full moon and an overly emotional Mothers Day.... yup. I'm just peachy to be around right now.

The weekend was no different. I do not think its possible for me to actually cry anymore. All the tears have dried up. Well the salty ones anyways.

We'll just do this in point form, cos I have a feeling its going to be a novel.

- D.R. turned out to be a DOUCHE! yes I said the word! after so rudely been called that by a 9yr old. It would be one thing to say, I'm no longer interested, or you're not my type... that I could have excepted. But no. Much worse.
He insulted me to a stranger (to him) off the dating site we met on. Who just happened to be a friend of mine. I cant tell you how mad I am. I confronted him and he's apologized, but that does not stop it from stinging more than usual....Why come over at all if you're just an ass. yes I'm fully aware he was only for my short term needs, but there is never a reason to just be THAT rude.

-add that to the above mood.

-I met someone online who I was getting along with and like all girls, we share the profiles of the men we're talking to with our friends. If not for safety, but to assure we're not talking to the same men. ew.

I showed this g/f the profile of a guy I was hitting it off with... what did she do?
She messaged him herself and went out on a date with him last night!!!
WHO DOES THAT!?
It would be one thing to say, "Hey I'm really interested in him, would you mind if I contacted him too? Isn't there some unwritten rule about this behaviour she just pulled? (friendship is currently under review)How I found out? He and I have great communication skills. He told me he had a date, and I asked if I could see her profile. Its a dating sight, I'm not foolish enough to think any of us are dating just one person, otherwise we'd take our profiles down. And there she is... MY friend, one who is suppose to be one of my closest.... who one is too "tired" to come hang out with me and be emotional support, but instead opts to msg a guy I'm hitting it off with and drive twice the distance past-my-house for the date... This one takes the cake.

-add that to the above mood.


Rhetorical Bullshit.
Ever notice the stupidity that spews from people some times?
I'm positive this sense is only heighten due to the above mood.
But I tell ya I'm so close to putting my fist in someones mouth soon.
It takes everything I have to reply without snark, I've managed to reply with the same amount of rhetorical stupidity as they've offered me.

When its raining, they say, "wow its miserable out there!"
Really? I hadn't noticed since I take the public transit system to get here, but thanks for pointing it out, I'll be sure to have my umbrella with me.

-Oh, you got your hair cut? (and offer nothing else, like a compliment)...
Really? Shit how did that happen? or NO I didn't, but thanks for thinking my looks like shit the rest of the time..

- Brrrrr its cold!
Really? hadn't noticed, but thanks for letting me know (me already in my parka, toque and teeth chattering away)

And when someone says something or does something too stupid for words, I usually reply "good thing you're cute", smile and walk away.

I don't like being this sour. Ever. I always try to make light of most things, cos really, what does getting mad about it do? But I guess I'm only capable of being indifferent and mellow for so long.

I work really hard at keeping my temper under wraps and being proactive about the way I deal with daily life.

I currently am just shy of throwing myself on the ground cry and yelling I WANT MY MUM!!! I desperately need a break from being an adult this week. I want to go home and just sleep and have my parents bring me tea, and just enjoy that silent comfort of just being home you need to recharge that you can only get from going home for a weekend.

I don't have that option.
I cant hang with my older siblings for that comfort, as they are crazy and would razz me for being "the sensitive one" which I will never make any excuses or ever apologize for. When I was younger and up til a few years ago, they would give me a hard time and my response was always the same. "Yes,I'm the sensitive one. I always have been. Sorry you're not able to feel". With my siblings, those are fighting words and know immediately to back the hell off.

The closest thing I have at the moment is going to the island. Hanging with my chosen family. I've always been able to go and be a spazz in a safe environment and they've NEVER ONCE EVER made me feel foolish, insignificant, weak, or embarrassed to need that comfort. I miss them.

I think while Island Guy is here on the weekends (once he picks up his friggin keys) I'll go to the island and have my down time. It's better if it is sooner than later...for everyone surrounding me.

Currently I go home, have a beer, or two, somethings three, have a bath and scream out loud my grievances against the world and people.

I'm in a terrible place right now. I don't want to be in that spot. How many stress cries do you think I can have before I start to feel better?

Friendships currently under review, men suck donkey butt in general this week, I miss my folks in the worst painful way this year, and overall feel alone. So alone.

Thats all, my rant. Hopefully my mood will improve now that its written down on paper and no longer haunting me.