Rough Week - Mothers Day

For those who don't know, both my parents have passed away.
Mum 9 years ago, Dad 5 years ago.

Mother's Day is this Sunday and for whatever reason, I'm having a very hard time managing myself this year and keeping my composure during the day.
At night when I'm home, no biggie, cos no one can see me.

I've been through 8 mothers days, and some were easier than others. (I thought surviving Xmas alone this past year I can do anything)This one.. ugh. and for the record, if anyone asks at work if I've been crying, no I haven't, its my allergies and I'm out of pills!!!! ;) Well that's what myself and a few colleges are saying.

I'm taking this Friday off, since being at work, well its just hard and I do not want to take the grrrr I'm holding in out on someone who doesn't deserve it.
Alot of my associates are mum's, and everyone is talking about their plans for this Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled they have kids, spouses, etc to celebrate with.... It's just tough hearing about it.

No fancy way of saying it.
This year sucks.

I have one friend, who lives locally and we've yet to meet in person, although we have mutual friends and 3 years passing since we started chatting (over a blog) She's the kind of friend who you can lose touch with and then pick up where you were days, weeks, months beforehand.

She has impeccable timing or a six sense when I need her shoulder.
Last night was no different. I bought some wine to help numb the tears,or hurry along the stress cry I've been waiting on... but wasn't in the mood to drink it... sigh... and couldn't force the tears now that I was home in a safe and private setting.

This friend, pops online msn after almost a years absences, and starts off with saying the sweetest things.. HELLO TEARS!
She wrote and wrote, and I sobbed, on and on... Then she reminded me about the family tradition we have in my family.
When someone dies and you can not visit the plot, etc.. You write them a letter, and then burn it. The wind will pick up the ashes and make sure they get it.

I haven't done this since the first or second year my parents passed away.
I may do that this weekend.
So I with our conversation under my belt and tears drying up (ever notice the saddest tears are the saltiest?)that all was good...Til I got to work this morning.

Short of it is, I'm glad to be working with the most insightful women ever.
(maybe women in general are just more insightful)
My work wife, looked at me and knew talking TO me would be bad, so we're chatting by emails and 3 floors apart. My immediate boss just gave me a look that said she understood, when I told her I was taking Friday off and did not offer any explanation.

My friends old and new, pop out of the woodwork in perfect sequence and offer an ear, a shoulder etc... even when some of them have their own tears to fight back.
Maybe its one of those things only women know. They all sensed that this year was tougher than years past.

I wont question it, and just express my gratitude that I have the friends in my life that I do.

So I'm a big sobbing wuss this year.

For all you who read my blog.
Here is your Happy Mothers Day!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Thanks for all you do!
The daily –ish emails, the ear, the shoulder, and the virtual hugs.
Hope your Mothers Day is wonderful!
Xoxooxoxo