Saying goodbye to a relationship & Fresh Starts.....

This weekend has been anything that I thought it would.

I witness the sociopath on speaker phone as he yelled at my friend over things that werent revelant at 2am. When he did not get the answer he wanted, he called her all sorts of names. 
That was one phone call I hear directly. If ANYONE had ever talked to me that way, ever, I would have walked away then. She put in 13 years.  Strongest woman I've ever known in my life time so far.

Saturday I ended a 12 year relationship with a man I was having stronger feelings for. Our arrangement no longer works for me, and on my list of things to do, "love freely without fear of being hurt" is on it.

He honestly couldn't be surprised I became attached, it's only been 13 years.
It went exactly how I anticipated it would. He wasnt an asshole or malicious with my feelings.
I made it clear what I was feeling & wanted, and so did he. Simply, we do not want the same things.
(which I knew and more reason I had to do this) I was never going to be part of his future. Never.
Ouch.

We will not be seeing or talking to each other for the next few weeks to months. We will be friends in the end, just not right now. I need some time to adjust, permission to grieve and let it go.

I'm proud of myself for following through and ending a relationship that was holding me back from letting love in as a whole and will be available to give love as a whole.

As much as it hurt, this was the healthiest thing I've done for my romantic life, in oh, I dont know, 13 years.