I'm
Yesterday was my B-day and received many well wishes from friends, acquaintances and a sibling *gasp*.
99% of them by facebook as FB has the birthday reminder on the top right side of your home page.
I thanked EVERYONE who wrote on my wall, sent private emails and pictures to make me smile. :)
This morning I get to work to find an email waiting for me from my best friend. Whom I've asked to move out upon her return from her visit with her kids. History: No fights or anything, I'm just not interested in having a roommate anymore, nor do I need one. I'm thankful I was in a position to help her out when she needed a place to stay, but now that she's been gone for over a month visiting her kids, I realized I love living alone. Period.
Her email is cold and to the point:
"I'll be there to remove my stuff as soon as I can, although it's proving to be difficult as I do not have a car. So I'm guessing you're miffed at me about something? Hope you have a good birthday anyways."
I replied: My birthday was great thanks. Why do you think I'd miffed at you?
I was going over my facebook wall to see if I had missed thanking anyone for wishing me well etc and noticed her wall posting wasn't there anymore. Even went as far to check the original email with the link, and it says: THIS POST IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
ummm WTF??? Really?
I emailed her: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
YOU DELETED THE BIRTHDAY WISHES OFF MY WALL? WOW. THANKS.
This is not the first time this friend has done this to other people. Its a first for me.
When something gets her nose out of joint, (which is really too often) she retaliates with childish behaviour. Deleting people, writing nasty emails, silent treatment, changing her b/f's password, just your normal foot stomping hissy fit that a 5 year old throws when something does not go their way.
But we're not 5 yrs old, we're 38.
I'm truly starting to believe that she
My point of this rant is I'm tired.
I'm feeling a mixed bag of emotions for her cos she is going through shit, and not so much anymore now that she is with her kids again.
At this point the following feelings apply and could change without subject:
*Happy to have my apt back to myself and clean/tidy
*Happy she's with her kids again - they were having a hard time without her.
*Glad I was in the position to assist her when she moved away from her kids.
*Thrilled I will never have to hear her and her b/f having porn-like sex again. (although after addressing the issue it was manageable).
*Drained of listening too, observing childish behaviour and antics cos something did not go her way.
*Tired of her being in a constant state of angst. Towards everything. Cos you know the world is out to get her or so it seems.
*Realized that although we have a few decades of friendship between us, we have nothing in common anymore unless its to vent (anger) or party with intention of getting so loaded you fall on your face... ahhh the stories giggle.
At this moment, I'm don't see the point of moving forward with her. I do not want to end the friendship but its' dynamic has changed for me.
I've worked hard to surround myself with people who are encouraging (not to say she isn't) and always happy and positive...to continue enabling myself to be dragged down in misery with her ongoing unnecessary drama.
I've actually her say the following words on the phone - "I'm too petty & snarky, besides it's beneath me to be things like, nice". I remember looking at her on the phone and thought, I really hoped she was joking, cos who in their right mind would brag about being a self proclaimed bitch and be proud of it?
In short -
I dont have the energy nor am I interested to be friends with people like this. Can you see why I'm torn? She's been there when it matters, but the day to day stuff etc it's just too ahrd to be around her.
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