I find it hard to date random new people all the time. It's exhausting and robotic.
Since Dec 09 I haven't really looked, been out on, asked out on, or pursued anyone. And I'm 100% okay with it. I'm happy getting to know myself again and being happy on my own again, first, without a spouse.
Recently an old flame started texting me with news that the demise of this 3 yr relationship was coming to an end. Wanted to know if I was up for some casual, no strings attached dating "and some".
First of all, I respect this man. Mostly cos even when he decided his relationship was over with Miss K, he was never inappropriate with anyone (that I'm aware of) or myself. No sexting, msn msg's or emails. October 31st she moved out and he became single. Woot!
We've made plans for heavy make out sessions and dinners out. That's it. Good times.
The great thing about the way we work, is we're honest. There are no games. Seriously.
If he wants more or visa versa, we talk about it. Thats what happened last time. I was on/off again with the Roayle Douchbag and TB wanted more... I mistakenly (looking back in high insight) opted for Royale Douchbag instead of the man 9 years my junior who has more manners and etiquette than most men my own age. So we're looking forward to passing the time with each other while he re-enters the dating scene.
:)
Best of luck! I am always envious of people who can be open and honest about this situation. Unfortunately, my brand of honesty includes me having to admit that I will attach strings (lots and lots of strings) once sex is involved...and if alcohol and making out are involved with someone I have history with? Sex will follow. So i never get to have this kind of fun!
ReplyDeleteMademoiselle!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment and welcome to my blog.
I've been very very fortunate that I've been able to obtain a mentally and emotionally healthy booty call with a few men over my years.
That is not always the case. I've been attached. Hurt cos it wasn't mutual, and made a few bad decisions towards my self esteem and respect as a result.
I talk to them, I tell them what I expect, the pro/cons of any mishaps or scares BEFORE we ever get down to hooking up. I believe if you have those conversations after the fact, it leaves too much room for he/she said and end up hating each other.
I had a male friend once where we started down this path. He replied to me with "I dont want to discuss all this, let's just have fun." Needless to say we never moved forward. I couldn't casually sleep with someone (only people I know) that was not interested or did not respect protecting our health.
I may come off as a prude and less spontaneous as a result, but whatever amount of time I spend naked with someone is never worth a lifetime amount of doctor appointments and poor health.
I am all for the honesty and up-frontedness of this :) I find it very rare that people can be that honest! I hope you have lots of fun and it works out beautifully for fun times you will have together. Can you tell the universe to send me one of those as well? ;)
ReplyDeleteI've put in a call for you LB@30.
ReplyDelete;)
xo
That's awesome. Bit confused though...are there 2 or three guys in this post...is TB the ex that you're now getting ready for heavy making out and dinners...or is the booty call guy an unnamed ex. The reason I ask is if it is TB...and he originally wanted more...but you chose "wrongly" as you say...wouldn't pursue this lead to problems? or are you both totally over it?
ReplyDeleteSSD - Its two guys.
ReplyDeleteDouchebag - is the ex
TB - is an old flame, soon to be booty call. (at the time) And we're both over it. It's not the stand up guy he was 4 years ago when he originally wanted more. We're both over it.