Feeling lost

I went to a Xmas house party at my pseudo cousins house last night.
We haven't seen each other since we were young.
As much as I enjoyed catching up with her and her husband, I soon discovered I was very out of place with the rest of the guests.

I soon became 'that' guest who injected themselves into conversations just to be included. Her guest were friendly and polite enough, however, I learned I have absolutely nothing in common with any of her friends. Not one thing.
They all know each other through soft ball, a sport I have no interest in.

It's not like me to try so hard to fit in, ever. So why now? Maybe cos it was my cousin?
we have history together and a lot of commonalities together.  Maybe it was that trying to fit in?  I mean I only injected myself into these conversations otherwise no one was really going out of their way to talk to me. They were either self absorbed with themselves or trying to out know my cousin.  I'm a sociable person, I can talk to almost anyone about anything, anywhere. Here, I wasn't exact welcome to chat.

I made the best I could of everything, decided to step back and not ask any questions unless I was being talked to first. I'd sit at a table or the couch etc with other people (still trying to be social somewhat and mingle) and just listen. See if the conversation ever really allowed for me to be included. It did not.

If a group of women were chatting, they'd ask me if I had children, and upon learning I do not, they would proceed to talk about kids, pregnancy etc. If I was able to insert myself, they'd look at me like I didn't know what I was talking about cos I don't have children etc. Or to learn I was the only person at the party who did not have a spouse. There was a silent unspoken, looking down their nose at me cos of it. Wow, can you say uncomfortable? That seem to be the consensus of the night. Find something I knew nothing about and talk about it all night.

I decided a few hours later that I would catch a ride home with my younger nephew and his finance. I wasn't about to spend the night with a bunch of people who in my mind have gone out of their way to exclude me from topics.

I feel lost. I consider myself smart, knowledgeable about many things, I never claim to know more than I ever do, cos that would be stupid. This group of people though, maybe me feel uneducated, unworthy and socially awkward. When did I become 12 yrs old again?

Shot my cousin a note this morning, thanking her for the invite etc, and that overall I had a great time. Apologized for trying too hard with her friends and just simple description of what I was talking about.

Surprisingly she replied that she had noticed her friends excluding me. But being the host of the party of course she had to attend to so many things or she would have made a point of making sure I was invited into conversations etc. Knowing her the way I do, she would have. That's why I like her. 'She' is more like my own friends.

My friends would never have let anyone feeling out of place, feel like that much longer. At the bar, out and about, or at a house party.
I love my friends.

Needless to say, I won't be attending anymore of her house parties. Not cos I don't want to try and continue to be friendly, but because I really have nothing in common with her friends. Their lives revolve around baseball season.  Period.
I could never imagine any of them stepping out their comfort zone to try yoga, kayaking, snowboarding etc.. Maybe they've already been there, done that and know that about themselves.  I'm trying to be okay with that. Not everyone has to get along, or like the same things, but it has been a very long time (teenage years) where a group of people have collectively together shunned a person from entering the gang.

I still feel a little lost.
I know who I am, what I like, don't like, who my friends are, who my friends are not.
So how did this group of people I've never met before, start making me guess myself.
Am I educated enough? Do I make enough money? Am I less of a person or a loser cos I'm almost 40 and do not have a spouse, and the fact that I'm okay with that, make me a target to be looked down at?

I just feel out of place and it's left me second guessing my position in life in other areas.