General ramblings. NYE.

Only general ramblings today.

I've almost completed my 40 before 40.  And finding it much easier now to "just do it", rather than continue to make excuses and put things off. Lack of money is a very valid reason/excuse to not do something or delay it. Regardless of what anyone says. It is.

Looking over my aggressive plan to save $5G and pay off a credit card, it still looks good on paper. 

Making tentative plans with several different friends to go snowshoeing on Seymour Mountain at least once - twice a month until all the snow melts (mid March).

I'm looking forward to owning a car again and being able to get out and about without worrying if my commuting time out weighs my visiting time. 

Cancelling my gym membership. I don't go. I hate the company (I use to work for them) and although I may join another gym, I think most of my work out will be at home with a fitness routine based on self body resistance from a personal trainer/fireman I use to go to school with. He has all my stats, BMI and injury/health history. We'll be doing this solely by email as he lives in Arizona with his wife and kids.
He's been very positive, motivation and most of all, realistic about expectations.

I'm thinking about getting a p/t job at a local pub or hardware store, one day a week. In addition to my volunteering hours on Fridays.  I'll keep you updated. I'm all gungho to get second job but not if I find myself exhausted in an unhealthy way, when I'll only be making $200-$500 a month working 1 day a week.


I attended a NYE kid friendly party with a friend from the Douchebag's circle of friends. This particular friend and I have had a few on/off rocky years with our friendship cos she is the best friend of the girl who the Douchebag was engaged too and goes back to when he's not with me. So without much more details, you can see how and why we've had our issues with our own friendship when we had loyalties to others involved together.

Last year when she learned that I was no longer interested in the on/off again turmoil with Douchebag, our friendship started to blossom again. HRH (the other girl) and my friend have their own issues too. We've agreed not to discuss them. And I reassured her I did not ever want to be invited to any parties where they might attend.  She agreed, but I could sense she felt a little torn and guilty, like she was excluding me in areas where she'd very much like me to be part of.  I confirmed again that I'm okay missing out on certain things cos even though I'm an adult, I've never seen them together in the same room all these years and I do not plan to start.

JD invited me to new years, advising the HRH and Douchebag would not be attending as they were having their own party. She mentioned this was a completely different crowd of people and thought I'd have a great time.  History: I do not care for any of the circle of people she hangs out with. We use to all work together and I have found a lot of them to be less than classy people. Nice people, maybe, however I saw through many of them and the could foresee the dramas unfold, and they always did.  So I made a point of never conversing with this crowd. Besides, the shit they talk about me and everyone else based on hearsay, is enough to keep distance.

I arrived at this party and was introduced. Everyone made a point of chatting me up and asking how I knew JD, etc. Turns out they all met her thru twitter! SCORE, my kind of crowd! People who are not afraid of randomness and making the best of it.
We are all roughly within the same age group, all have different jobs (not all from the same location or company) a whole group of people who are extremely interactive with the city they live in.  Now I don't live in this city, although I use too, I now volunteer at the museum in this town. They were all very excited to hear this, knew some of the people I work with. We even had things in common such as old cars we've own and loved etc.  It was a great crowd of people. And the fact I was the only single person there, I was never made to feel like a third wheel.  In short, they are the type of people I already hang out with.  I was added to twitter and facebook as the night went on and even invited to someones birthday this coming Saturday.  Cool. I'll attend.

JD and I got the chance to chat in private and I thanked her again for such a great party and what a great time I was having. She was stoked.

Some pictures were taken throughout the night and granted my first thought was, shit HRH and Douchebag will see these on facebook. I quickly got over it as I thought to myself, JD is my friend too and we're not going to keep it a secret and they will just have to adjust to the fact that regardless of our love triangle JD and I will no longer be part of that saga.  So she posted them on facebook, tagged me. The part that even made me feel more welcome were her friends commented under these pictures with nice things to say about meeting me. :)

So I'm starting off the New Year on a positive note.

Small goals to inject into my routine.
- Start taking the stairs at work a minimum of 3 days per week, regardless how tired it makes me. Of course unless I'm sick, I'll be taking the stairs.
- Attempt to walk the hill of death at least once a week to start. Rain, snow or shine.
- Make no excuses for the things I do. I owe no one an excuse or reason, its my life and should I choose not to do something, I shouldn't feel that I have to explain myself.
-Try to keep more of an open mind supporting a particular friend, even though I do not agree with her views and opinions while she is on this new journey in her life. Best if I support her from a distances I think. (hypocrite?)
-I will try not to dwell on things that annoy me. Crazy C in particular.
-Might even attempt to date. *gasp* However only meeting men the old fashion way. I'm done with online dating.

I've gained respect for rejection. It's part of the game and although it sucks not having someone return admiration, it is what it is. Have to not make excuses for men who do not make time for me. If they want to see me, they will make the time. Period.
If they do not, I won't keep their number or think of them again after I've felt that I've been put on the back burner.  I plan to see a lot of rejection. Mostly due to my weight.

Now before you get on me for saying that, it's true. I've heard men time and time again say to me and about other women, great personality, but not my type.
Meaning she needs to loose weight.

Now being overweight, people tend to think I should be dating an overweight man. Not true! So not true.  I'm not afraid of some girth on a man but the morbidly obese (gawd that sounds so harsh, but it is a clinical term) I'm not attracted too.
Not while I'm fat,(I'm class type 1 obese - is one step over just being just overweight - there are 4 levels) nor while I'm thin.  This thought pattern is why I do not get bent out of shape when men feel the same way about me. 

I want to be motivated and encouraged by a man fitter than I am. Fair or shallow?
It doesn't really matter, no amount of name calling, bad mouthing me, etc will change the fact I do not want to date super heavy men.  I've tried it in the past and found myself very turned off when it came to being intimate. I've tired it once, twice to be sure before I came to this conclusion that heavy men are not for me.

These are not resolutions by any means.
They are just things I want to improve upon.