I came to realize recently a common factor in all the accutane blogs I read.... there isn't one update after 4 months. Only that they finished the cycle. I'm 4 months 2weeks in. 2.5 months left!!!!
By now, I'm use to the aches and pains, and although they move around, so its consistently a "new" pain to get use too. Random sleepless nights, bouts of heavy depression, and I've adapted to the dryness of my skin, lips, occasionally the lady bits, and my hair.
I'm coming up on 2 full weeks, since the last time I actually put shampoo in my hair. I wet and condition it often, but actual shampoo? Not a friggin chance! I think it's the only thing preventing my hair from thinning. I'll wash it when it accumulates enough oil to actually make my hair dirty. Even with the Moroccan Oil, and other Redken Products, I still do not feel the need to wash my hair.
I'm gaining weight, and have a problem with my right arm which is being looked at on the 19th. The arm pain (feels like its broken) could be a result/side effect of the accutane. As the weeks go by it's harder to lift the arm or twist it in every day activities without it feeling like it could snap off at any point. I'd welcome that idea if the pain would go away and I'd have full use of my arm again.
Overall, I've adjusted to taking this stupid pill. My thoughts on the end result? I'm still going to having reoccurring hormonal acne. I get it even now while taking the Accutane. End result, I will not take this cycle again. I'm over it. The depression is a work of art. It is a side effect, and when I'm feeling all blah (which seems to be more often than not) I tell myself it's the pills, and this will all be over in September. :) It seems to help me cope a bit.
I can see the light at the end of this cycle and simply.can.not.wait.
Single & Picky, and I hung out Saturday, and I tell ya, can we gab! Good times for such a low key afternoon. P.S. Loving the jam!!! Yum! Thanks!
During out visit and many many topics we covered, I made silent notes to myself about what to talk about to my new shrink...(when I finally locate one I like). I have trust issues. You readers may have already known this about me. I however, just admitted it to myself for the first time ever. I do. Have trust issues. And am determined to get help with that.
Where is all stems from is the other question. Is it being overly observant at times, being able to call bullshit, or being a pessimist and I look for it, so it finds me? Was there some event of mass deception that I'm unable to recall?
Regardless, I don't trust many people. I like to think I do until you give me a reason not too, though I don't think that's all that honest either.
I whole heartily trust a few people.
That's all I'm going to say about it for now, cos I really think it's something I need to work on in private.
Trust is a really hard - I know I have the tendency to trust too freely and then be burned. Not sure why but I find it easier to believe that every one is safe and nice and all that. Not that I would do anything stupid like a blind date in a remote location.
ReplyDeleteYay more than half way there - almost finished!!
S&P - That's exactly it.
ReplyDeleteAlmost finished. I'd like to know now what the end results will be so I can just quit it already. lol
What happens when you're done with the Accutane?
ReplyDeleteTrust-- I trust the wrong people and blocke the good ones a lot of the time... I don't know why.
@Kas - The idea is that when I'm done this cycle, my ance will be 80% non existant. It's not uncommon though for some to have to do a second cycle. Looks like I'll be one of those... though I'm going to opt not to take the second cycle. Not without a break inbetween anyways.
ReplyDeleteYa trust issues are hard. I can read bullshit before it happens, then catch people in lies, so it makes me question anyone's intergity.
Once my trust has been broke. Good damn luck getting it back. There are a few people I know I can trust my life with and would never do anything to "pull on over" on me. Why can't everyone be like that?
Why are some so content just trying to see what they can get away with, rather than building on what could be a solid relationship? (friend or romantic).
I seem to trust friends too easily, and always try to look at their side of things when there is a possible altercation. For this reason, my friends often say I play 'devils advocate'.
ReplyDeleteHowever, when it comes to men I find it hard to trust. I really don't want to become one of those bitter and twisted man-haters, but it's bloody hard sometimes when the men I like soon prove themselves to be tools.
Good luck! :)
@Dawndash - Thanks for your comments! Sorry it took me so long to reply.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree, men repeatedly prove themselves to be less a man of morals, interigty and princples etc.