Tree or No Tree

I have a fake tree I bought when I first moved out on my own. The tree is still in amazing shape. I use to love Christmas. I use to get mighty pissed when I'd race home from school and my Mum had taken the day off to decorate and there was nothing left to do.

Growing up I realized decorating was her thing. It was special to her. And we appreciated the effort. Our house always looked like a Christmas store.

Once on my own, I always put up my tree. After my folks passed, my Aunt (mum's best friend) told me I HAD to put up the tree the first Christmas after she passed. Begrudgingly I did. I was glad I did.  Though following years, it became increasingly harder to put it up. The anxiety it caused me was overwhelming. I started going away for Christmas. It gave me a reason not to decorate at all.

The lights. Those damn lights are what kill me. I hate putting them on. I've had roommates that wanted to do it, so I let them. That's when I learned, even though I don't have the strength to decorate my own tree, I am a tree snob. Unless you have children, there is no reason why your tree should ever look like a 5 yr got to it. Ever. (my next tree will already have the lights on it)

A few years ago, I hosted a Christmas at home. Friends that couldn't get home for the holidays came over, and we made the best of not being alone, together.  I remember clearly drinking while decorating days before, and talking aloud to my Mum.  I was hosting my FIRST Christmas and doing that damn tree. ;) Asked her to pull some strings and make it snow enough to make everything pretty Christmas Day. If not, I completely understood as it was a warm winter (averaging about 6-10 degrees above 0, needs to be -3/3+ to snow).

The day comes, and we're all opening our gifts, stuffing our faces etc. Hours pass and come early evening, I looked outside, nearly jumping so high to hit the ceiling. I squealed it was SNOWING! Only Tink understood why that would make me, the city girl, excited.  As I stood there with a big cheesy grin on my face, feeling so much love, silent tears running down my face, Tink had shared why this was significant with the rest of our friends. It was a perfect Christmas. Side note: I was too lazy to take down the tree that year, so I put the whole tree, fully decorated, into the guest room and closed the door....til Sept.

My tree has been up once since then. When LC House Guest was living with me. Like my Mum, LC and my Mum shared a few things that are special to them. I never questioned it, just let them have their bond. So when LC said she wanted to put up the tree, I let her. Having been best friends for 23 years, she knew I was a tree snob, then so was she.  She made the most beautiful tree. I didn't want to take it down.

Though, we started a new tradition. The tree topping. I have a ugly ugly topping that my Grandmother has passed down etc.  We opted not to put it up, instead we used a plastic Stanley Cup from a case of beer as the Topper. That year, the Canucks went to the Stanley Cup. :)

Since I'm in town this year for Christmas, I'm debating whether or not to put it up.  If someone wants to come over and put the lights on for me, I'll wine and dine you while you do it.  I'm simple with the rest of the house.