Random tidbits

 Lately I feel like I've been a bad friend, horrible, actually.  Well silently in my mind that is. 

I find lately when friends talk to me about ABC etc, I've been finding myself saying in my head, "I so don't care". Bad right? I have the greatest friends ever! Why am I being such a bitch?

Trying to find the underlining stressors that are triggering these shitty remarks I say in my head. Cos as I've learned what we're lashing out about, rarely has anything to do with what's triggering us. We tend to take out our stress/anger on those we love, and subconsciously know can handle it. Doesn't mean its fair or right.

I'm always stressed about money. But that is no one else's issue. 

I'm lonely on a romantic/physical level during this pandemic. 

In a way to release some of this stress, I've been leaving horrible company reviews for previous employers that did me wrong. More callously, I've been leaving the reviews as a current employee. :) petty, 100%. Does it feel good? 100%. Am I actually hurting anyone? No. Am slightly ruining their day? I hope so. 

Been having random and extremely lucid dreams lately. About a month now. I've been trying to keep track of the dreams as I feel there is something to learn from them. Last nights was no different. I was part of a team of 3 ppl, Morgan Freeman, some other actor who's name escapes me, and myself.  It was like a survivor type show, but my job was to cook with the scraps we had.  We always had enough for well rounded meals, but they lacked taste. I was told by Mr. Freeman that I better buy the book "Learning to Mix Spices".  These dreams are nothing horrific etc, just random dreams. 

Got up and googled it. This book exists! Well website's and such do. So for fun, I'm going to study them. I'm a basic cook in general and know spices can make or break a dish. I have my few that I knock out of the park, but why not up my own game? 

That's my Sunday.