Know your social ques.

Just a word to the wise...

If you're on a new founded, self empowerment, spiritual journey, or whatever you want to call it. You can not belittle those around you when they disagree with your beliefs and/or thought patterns. Then expect them to be supportive of you and your choices when you're belittling and blatantly disrespect theirs. It's a two way street friend.

I've had it with my friend on the Island who has "found herself" in the last couple years. I've been bombarded with a shit load of Bcc: emails on how to treat certain ailments with herbs and how A, B and C routes cause cancer.

She aimed specific ailments at those in the email. I won't divulge the ailments of other people, though I will mine, cos it's no secret, and I believe in being an open book with my friends about body and mental health. The more you know... etc.  I have hypothyroidism and a wussy stomach that has recently gotten worse. 

Let me say, I love my doctor. He knows where I stand about being on medication and taking pills in general. He respects it. I take a prescribed med for my thyroid and my stomach. Nothing else. I try not to take Advil etc unless realllllllllllly required. I do not take allergy pills unless I'm going to the island or somewhere were the animals run the house etc. I have a 3 pill rule. Any more than that, there is something more going on.

I educate myself. I ask questions. I also trust in my doctors as they are not pill pushers and get to the cause of your issues. If they can control, repair or cure your illness without meds, he'll try.  The fact I do take two prescribed medications, causes this friend to flip her lid. She sends unsolicited emails about the harm I'm doing my body etc some manifest written by someone with no medical experience or education...just an opinion. A strong one at that.

I've had it.
I love my friend but hate where she is in her head.  Recap: this is the same girl who told a house full of people at a christmas dining room table, how'd we all be healthier if we were vegetarians....while at a TURKEY dinner!

The fact I even feel the need to defend my choices for my own health, simply pisses me off.  In addition to my response to her, I mentioned as gently as I could, she was still welcome to come for a visit in November, but not if she was going to be spewing her opinion on the way I live my life, or my roommates, cos it doesn't correspond or agree with hers. If she couldn't refrain, then she was welcome to stay home.

As much as I want to support her, I strongly suggested she keep her opinions to herself. She can believe in whatever she wants, she just doesn't have to share it with everyone, of every minute of every waking moment. I like to let others live their lives however they want if they're not hurting anyone. When I'm at the receiving end of an attack via mass group emails, regarding that I'm "killing" myself with my medical choices etc, then I have a problem. Ignoring her won't help the cause. 

I'm ranting here, but know, that my reply to her was gentle, using her "way of talk" to make the point of BACK OFF SISTER!

It's the holier than thou, you're all beneath me attitude and sometimes the words are said, that makes me question if I have what it takes to be supportive and friends with someone who belittles me for my life choices while expecting support from others.

I'd thought she'd found that happy medium of knowing social ques of when its appropriate to spew her thoughts and when it's not. Now she's living on her own again. (whole other story there) and now there is no balance. It's go go go go spew spew spew.  Even the way she talks is different. The voice is raised, patronizing, and a little yoga instructor tone. (soft, drawn out, instructing words) It's not her.

When I'm on the Island, I won't be staying with her as she opted not to have any furniture. She sleeps on a yoga mat in her sleeping bag, soon to be a daybed in the living room, and uses the living room and bedroom as a healing space. Upon asking her about having guests over etc, her reply was, they'd have to bring their own chairs if they plan on hanging out etc. And she wonders why I have no intentions of staying with her or why she can't find a date? You're almost 40. You can believe/practive what you want and still have grown up furniture.

In order for her to really blossom in her journey, I suggested she travel the world. The lower mainland and the Island are really not going to embrace her at this level of the game. (see I can have tact).

I know this must seem as I'm bashing her. I am a little. Frustrated, however I am not discouraging her journey. I simply do not want unsolicited input, and mass emails advising me I'm killing myself for not believing in the same lifestyle.

The short of it is.... know your audience. Pick your battles. Know your social ques.

Family Trip or Buy a Car?

With the uncertainty of my future employment, my trip back east to see my family has been put on hold. There are too many variables to cover at the moment. The short of it is, retaining employment will trump visiting my family back east in the spring. Again.

Sadly, I'll have to take the savings for my much needed trip and buy a car. I wanted to buy a car out of want not need. Is there really a difference though? 

Ya cars are expensive, though being on my own schedule and not transits, it worth the difference in cost alone. Currently it costs me $1320 a year in transit passes. And my bus only runs once an hour after 8pm m-s and once an hour all day on Sundays. Oh and it stops running altogether after 11pm all week. 

My insurance a year for a few different models/years will be less than what I pay for transit. I have a great rate. Thank gawd! Add gas, car payments and I'm still seeing it as being easier in many aspects of my life. It may not be the car I want, however it will be a car nonetheless.

I haven't started to panic yet. There are a few more announcements to come. Once we know more, then I'll freak out accordingly.

I've Been Sold.

Sort of. 
The Bargle Company I work for has announced today that they've sold the company and it's TM rights's to another NY firm.  Not just our company, the parent company and every bargle company that falls under it's umbrella.

What does this mean? Many many people are going to be out of work.
Until I have an end date, it's business as normal. 

It's kind of a shame. I like the area and the building I work in. Looking for a new job, negotiating wages and shopping for proper cooperate clothes is not fun. Though part of being an adult I guess.

I loathe the idea of having to work in Surrey. I will commute a distance, just to avoid crossing that particular bridge. I worked 5 years in crackville and the stress of being mugged for drug money as I walked thru the shadiest area of crackville was always there. Even if most of the smacky and crackies were for the most part were harmless. It's not a desirable place to work. Not true of all the Surrey District. Just Crackville.

So there you have it. I have a pending unemployment date.

Accutane. Thanksgiving. Xmas

Friday was, what I'd hope would be my last appointment with the dermatologist. Not so. I'm probably looking at a year on this as long as I can tolerate it. 

7.5 months in and we've changed the dose from 40mg a day to a 40/80 every other day. As long as my body will tolerate it and the bad cholesterol stays down, (which btw is down to 3.2 now, started at 2.3 and spiked to 5.2) we might finish on this dosage.

It's been a bad month for bone pain, aches and pains. Not unusual later in the treatment. I've still yet to find any blogs that continue after 4 months at a regular dose.
At first I thought taking the accutane in the summer might be bad with dryness etc. Now that it's cooling off and the air is changing, and not to mention turning the heat on in my apt, just to take the chill off....well winter might be worse for the side effects. My eyes and inner nose are dying from dryness. No amount of Vaseline or drops seems to be help. I'll adjust.

Good news.... my liver is holding up with the limited alcohol I've been ingesting. woot!

Ok, moving on...

Thanksgiving...

#1 Pet Peeve: People who are notoriously late.
I waited 30 mins in a very unsavory area of crackville, waiting for my ride. I texted her to say I was waiting 15 more minutes then heading home.  My ride arrives almost immediately, and I'm promptly asked why I didn't call??.....

I'm sorry?? If I said I'd be at Point A @ 3pm, you should be here at 3pm. I shouldn't have to call unless I've missed a bus or something happens. If I can get here on time via transit, you should also be able to arrive on time via a car. (unless there is an accident etc).

Those kind of things annoy the friggin piss out of me! Anyone who knows me, knows I'm always on time. ALWAYS! Unless it's out of my control. I'm flexible with friends who have small children, cos I know how that can go down. Though no kids, don't be late. If you can get to work and meetings on time, you can arrive to our plans on time too.

Moving on to the good stuff.
Dinner was amazing! Company was good. Laughter and memories. Turkey Coma = bliss. I'm still recovering from the turkey induced coma over the weekend. I might not have to eat until next week.

Xmas.
Talking to one of my sisters over the weekend, she happened to ask again if I'd be in town for Christmas. I had mentioned it a few times earlier in the year that I would be. I received a formal invite (not a, "you know you're always welcome", bullshit comment).
It's official. I'm spending Christmas with my one sister, niece and grandniece. :)

I have Xmas shopping to do! The first time in 6 years that I've had to go out and buy actual gifts. Kind of excited. I'll start and finish next week. :)

This is a big deal. I haven't spent Christmas with any blood family in 10 years. The Xmas after my Mum passed away was the last time all of the siblings were in the same room on a holiday.

I'm emotional, scared and excited all at the same time. Kind of feels like all the effort I've put out to make sure we all stay in touch, is slowly starting to pay off. Now, I will never hold my breath to see all the siblings in the same room again. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the little successes of lunch dates and not end up with tables turned or siblings in the river etc... I'll take it.

Gobble Gobble!

There is a hair in my bra tickling me and I can not remove it as there are people in my area! grrrrr.. driving me insane! Giving me the heebie jeebies. 

It's the Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. Woot, extra day to sleep in!

Happy Gobble Gobble Stalkers!
Happy Columbus Day to my stalkers south of the boarder.

Don't forget to wear elastic pants this weekend! ;-p