A few years ago I had a 40 things before 40 list.
And while it ended up being categorized by Success, Fail, Attempted/Opted out, Spares. It might have not been the full 40 I set out of myself, but in the end I fullfilled 40 things.
I'm making a new list. Not sure if I'll make it public, and it's not a long list. I see it growing, with no time limit either, cos, well, some depend heavily on available finances. As I'm still working hard at recovering from a car accident, a certain amount of money is allocated towards treatments every month. Making doing some things limited without saving first. They will be attempted for sure!
As I attempt these adventures, I'll update ya here!
Sunday, 29 June 2014
I'm Pleasing Myself. Not Others.....not as dirty as it sounds.
I find that I don't need to vent/blog as much as I had in the past. Less angry I guess?
Over the last 6 months, I've taken charge over things in my life. Well, attempting too.
I've dropped negative people, and those who seem to be a friend of convenience, and started to embrace those who want to be around me for the right reasons.
I've stopped apologizing for having friendships with certain people, that others said I shouldn't have.
I'm pleasing myself, not others. Once you start doing things for yourself, and not making excuses for it, happiness ensues. It starts to show itself anyways.
I've been working out. Being very social, which I've blown my social budget for all of June and July, before the month of June is even over... oops. Do I regret it, nope. Going after, doing things I want, cos I can.
I've stopped making excuses for myself that I can not do these things, cos it requires a car, or no one wants to do them too. Okay, the car thing is valid to some degree. I use to do things my friends weren't interested in all the time, meeting others who had the same interest. I did these things without judgement, but encouragement from my friends. How did I lose, and forget that? That it is okay to have interest in things others aren't. They won't drop you as a result, unless you're endangering them, or yourself.
A year ago, I made the decision to end contact with a group of people who brought nothing but drama into my world. I felt bad, a little sad about it at first. A year later, I can breathe! Knowing it was the right decision. I don't dislike the group of people. They just bring nothing of value and growth to my life. Yes, without having had them in my life to begin with, the growth might not have taken place. Or would have it?
I've been known to hold on to relationships on all levels cos we have history.
I've learn to not to hold on after learning they've let go. Its freeing. Of course none of this means that these people may not a cameo from time to time, but overall, they've been let go.
I've been dating. And for the first time in a long time, instead of trying to make something work, that simply wasn't, I suggesting ending it. He was disappointed, and although he didn't see a long term future for us either, he was willing to stay together out of convenience til someone else crossed our paths. In the past, I would have just done this without having said the words... having hearing the words being suggested just made it dirty, not in a good, fun, or kinky way.
I think that is all. Nothing miserable going on. No drama. Sorry to disappoint. ;-)
Over the last 6 months, I've taken charge over things in my life. Well, attempting too.
I've dropped negative people, and those who seem to be a friend of convenience, and started to embrace those who want to be around me for the right reasons.
I've stopped apologizing for having friendships with certain people, that others said I shouldn't have.
I'm pleasing myself, not others. Once you start doing things for yourself, and not making excuses for it, happiness ensues. It starts to show itself anyways.
I've been working out. Being very social, which I've blown my social budget for all of June and July, before the month of June is even over... oops. Do I regret it, nope. Going after, doing things I want, cos I can.
I've stopped making excuses for myself that I can not do these things, cos it requires a car, or no one wants to do them too. Okay, the car thing is valid to some degree. I use to do things my friends weren't interested in all the time, meeting others who had the same interest. I did these things without judgement, but encouragement from my friends. How did I lose, and forget that? That it is okay to have interest in things others aren't. They won't drop you as a result, unless you're endangering them, or yourself.
A year ago, I made the decision to end contact with a group of people who brought nothing but drama into my world. I felt bad, a little sad about it at first. A year later, I can breathe! Knowing it was the right decision. I don't dislike the group of people. They just bring nothing of value and growth to my life. Yes, without having had them in my life to begin with, the growth might not have taken place. Or would have it?
I've been known to hold on to relationships on all levels cos we have history.
I've learn to not to hold on after learning they've let go. Its freeing. Of course none of this means that these people may not a cameo from time to time, but overall, they've been let go.
I've been dating. And for the first time in a long time, instead of trying to make something work, that simply wasn't, I suggesting ending it. He was disappointed, and although he didn't see a long term future for us either, he was willing to stay together out of convenience til someone else crossed our paths. In the past, I would have just done this without having said the words... having hearing the words being suggested just made it dirty, not in a good, fun, or kinky way.
I think that is all. Nothing miserable going on. No drama. Sorry to disappoint. ;-)
Sunday, 25 May 2014
I found what I stand for....finally.
It's been nice to know that some people are still reading my blog. And well, some others, are still putting their nose where it doesn't belong, and passing that information along. Why? I can only imagine they don't have enough going on in their lives.
What's great about this, knowing this. Is I don't actually care. I don't care about people, who disrupt the lives of others, simply for gossip, or sport. It's been a long time since I stopped caring what other people thought, cos I needed people to like me. Now, well, it's been a process of essentially those who don't have a place in my life, or heart, to go away by my will. Making room for the right kind of people. The kind you don't question whether or not their intentions are honourable. Those whose actions match their words.
It's been a nice change to know, I can be myself, and not be judged, whispered about for fun. But to be supported by those who care. Really care. A handful of them were here the whole time, I just had to recognise it. When I did, I acknowledged it/them wholeheartedly. It was welcomed with open arms and love. Looking back I don't regret the experiences I've had. I just wish I had found my self respect, pride, and what I stand for, well, sooner.
I love running into these people in the street, and they're all "OMG how are you? I've missed you!!! Let's get together soon". I simply say; "Thanks for the invite, but I'm going to pass". Nor introducing them to the person/people I may be with. I don't owe these people an explanation. Smile, wish them a good day, and carry on with whatever I was doing. :D They can go on to call me whatever name they feel suitable, and yet, it still doesn't matter. With the world of technology, no matter how busy your life is, it only takes a few moments to touch base from time to time. Oh still no time? Hmmm, your blog, twitter, FB status updates would disagree. Still claiming no time? Well then, I've broken up with you. If you're unable to make the simplest effort to stay in touch, well, you're not anyone I want to stay in touch with. We're not talking a few days or weeks, I'm saying months, years go by, and they claim no time. Over.
A gf once told me, "We train people how to treat us". I disagreed to the max at the time. Alas, as time passes and I find once again what I stand for. It was easier to see just how true that statement is.
I'm still on a dating site, managing it much, much, much better than I ever had before.
If I msg someone, and they reply with, "nice pics/profile, got any pics of you in heels?" Or something of equally inappropriateness. Simply say goodbye and move on, rather than humouring them in witty banter. Some know how to be cute, sassy, and charming. It's rare. Most are just pigs. I choose to believe that all men are not slime. Just have to find them.
What's great about this, knowing this. Is I don't actually care. I don't care about people, who disrupt the lives of others, simply for gossip, or sport. It's been a long time since I stopped caring what other people thought, cos I needed people to like me. Now, well, it's been a process of essentially those who don't have a place in my life, or heart, to go away by my will. Making room for the right kind of people. The kind you don't question whether or not their intentions are honourable. Those whose actions match their words.
It's been a nice change to know, I can be myself, and not be judged, whispered about for fun. But to be supported by those who care. Really care. A handful of them were here the whole time, I just had to recognise it. When I did, I acknowledged it/them wholeheartedly. It was welcomed with open arms and love. Looking back I don't regret the experiences I've had. I just wish I had found my self respect, pride, and what I stand for, well, sooner.
I love running into these people in the street, and they're all "OMG how are you? I've missed you!!! Let's get together soon". I simply say; "Thanks for the invite, but I'm going to pass". Nor introducing them to the person/people I may be with. I don't owe these people an explanation. Smile, wish them a good day, and carry on with whatever I was doing. :D They can go on to call me whatever name they feel suitable, and yet, it still doesn't matter. With the world of technology, no matter how busy your life is, it only takes a few moments to touch base from time to time. Oh still no time? Hmmm, your blog, twitter, FB status updates would disagree. Still claiming no time? Well then, I've broken up with you. If you're unable to make the simplest effort to stay in touch, well, you're not anyone I want to stay in touch with. We're not talking a few days or weeks, I'm saying months, years go by, and they claim no time. Over.
A gf once told me, "We train people how to treat us". I disagreed to the max at the time. Alas, as time passes and I find once again what I stand for. It was easier to see just how true that statement is.
I'm still on a dating site, managing it much, much, much better than I ever had before.
If I msg someone, and they reply with, "nice pics/profile, got any pics of you in heels?" Or something of equally inappropriateness. Simply say goodbye and move on, rather than humouring them in witty banter. Some know how to be cute, sassy, and charming. It's rare. Most are just pigs. I choose to believe that all men are not slime. Just have to find them.
Saturday, 26 April 2014
It's easier.. sort of
I've been talking to a few guys. You that stupid stupid saying; "things happen when you're reallllllly not looking for them." Well, as it turns out, it rings true.
Although this time I'm not trying to fit into a mold to make the guy like me. I've been looking at what they like, in comparison to what i like, to see, well if I'd like spending time with this person.
Not sure why I had such a hard time with this in the past. I'm practicing what I'm preaching this time.
No hook ups. I make it clear early on, so they have an out. If they choose to stick around but lack asking things about me, they're gone too. Only the ones whose actions and words match, are getting my attention. Seems like common sense, it is. Again, not sure why I didn't have more self respect for my own needs, and wants. I mean, I've known for a long time what those things were... talked about doing it, but never applied it. Until now.
I cut things off with the ex of last year. Told him its a commitment or friends. Can't continue to do the off/on things when it's convenient, cos you're lonely, or when I am. I can't do both, it messes with my heart too much. He chose friends. I said I was fine with it, as long as he treats me as a friend. We'll see how it pans out. I'd like to believe he meant what he said, however, that would be the hopeless romantic in me. I'll watch his actions over his words. His actions will tell me everything I need to know.
I think that is all I have at the moment.
Although this time I'm not trying to fit into a mold to make the guy like me. I've been looking at what they like, in comparison to what i like, to see, well if I'd like spending time with this person.
Not sure why I had such a hard time with this in the past. I'm practicing what I'm preaching this time.
No hook ups. I make it clear early on, so they have an out. If they choose to stick around but lack asking things about me, they're gone too. Only the ones whose actions and words match, are getting my attention. Seems like common sense, it is. Again, not sure why I didn't have more self respect for my own needs, and wants. I mean, I've known for a long time what those things were... talked about doing it, but never applied it. Until now.
I cut things off with the ex of last year. Told him its a commitment or friends. Can't continue to do the off/on things when it's convenient, cos you're lonely, or when I am. I can't do both, it messes with my heart too much. He chose friends. I said I was fine with it, as long as he treats me as a friend. We'll see how it pans out. I'd like to believe he meant what he said, however, that would be the hopeless romantic in me. I'll watch his actions over his words. His actions will tell me everything I need to know.
I think that is all I have at the moment.
Sunday, 13 April 2014
But,.but.... it's MY priorities are out of whack?!! Oh pleeeaaseeee!
How much validation do I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly need?
When the roommate comes to me and bitches that he only got 2 out 6 beers that *I* paid for?
Then starts to preach about how "some" peoples priorities are out of sync?
Seriously dude? You just drank 1/2 a growler (3 pints) and 2 bottles of a 6 pack, that 1) you didn't have to pay for. 2 )really bitching about what you did and didn't get? 3) turn it onto me, that its my fault I drank 4 of the 6 pack? that I paid for and offered you some out of??? sigh.
Good Gawd. Some people.
You can sit in your room and pout that you only got to drink 3 pints, and 2 bottles that YOU didnt have to pay for... and try to make me feel bad for it.. good luck to you!
When the roommate comes to me and bitches that he only got 2 out 6 beers that *I* paid for?
Then starts to preach about how "some" peoples priorities are out of sync?
Seriously dude? You just drank 1/2 a growler (3 pints) and 2 bottles of a 6 pack, that 1) you didn't have to pay for. 2 )really bitching about what you did and didn't get? 3) turn it onto me, that its my fault I drank 4 of the 6 pack? that I paid for and offered you some out of??? sigh.
Good Gawd. Some people.
You can sit in your room and pout that you only got to drink 3 pints, and 2 bottles that YOU didnt have to pay for... and try to make me feel bad for it.. good luck to you!
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