Men Update/Dating Woes

I’ve been told a lot lately “roll with it”. I do its kind of my thing.
Over prepare then “flow with it”. It’s the only way I know how.

Now I’m starting to think the universe is not telling me to roll with it, but to roll over and become a push over, walking mat, whatever else you can become when something/one, says roll over/with it.

I like to think I have reasonable standards for myself, and that for the most part of being an online dater; I’ve become a good judge of character……NOT.

In the last year, I tell you, man CAN I PICK THEM! I’m starting to succumb to the idea that I should lower my standards and what I want, cos I’m not getting it from the men I want it from.

Successful (or on his way), educated (book or worldly, doesn’t matter), funny, handsomely beautiful, silly, dapper dresser for all occasions, stable, (emotionally, mentally, financially). Etc... You get the idea. Am I asking too much? Or trying to date outside my league? I took a line from a movie once that said… “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”

I’ve tried to live by that. Cos it’s true.
Maybe I’m fighting a path the universe says I’m suppose to experience???

Recap on the last few guys I’ve chatted with that, I THOUGHT, had potential or I liked and they somehow let me down.

DR – is everything I listed above, til he insulted me. That one stung a little more than others, cos I liked him and saw a possible exclusive relationship developing in the future. – deleted.

Island Guy – is now my p/t roommate and not that I saw a future with him. We are not in the same place and he has his own experiences to go thru in life before claiming manhood. He’s 26. Not almost 28 like I thought he was.

EB – New guy, we hit it off, conversation ran smoothly, we covered many, many topics, it seem to have promise. It was easy, really easy.

When I hit it off with someone, I research them. (Maybe this is my problem) I Google them. Of course I don’t tell them, but I hate being lied too or misinformed.

So I Googled EB and turns out he has a facebook profile. We have mutual friends. One being my oldest nephew, who has had a very rough hand at life but has made the best of it. Most people who know him, are directly involved with the scene he lives in. He’s a drug/alcohol counselor for addicts living on the DTES (downtown east side).

EB – calls me last night, mentions he has to share some stuff with me now, not later. He’s a recovering meth addict. (This explains how he knows my nephew) He’s been sober ALMOST a year and had a relapse two weeks ago.

*sigh*

I’m disappointed. Cos we hit it off. He is educated, funny, articulate etc... All the things I like and his pictures on his profile are nice... btw which I learned he didn’t write, it was an ex that wrote it for him. Misleading... Right?

I told him I couldn’t pursue this romantically anymore but would love to continue to chat with him. I have a rule for myself. I will NOT date anyone who hasn’t been sober for an extended period of time. It’s too risky to date them at the beginning. Respectfully accepted my offer.

I know a few things about the program from friends, family and acquaintances in regards to full abstinence from dating and any major life decisions until you pass a year. Every time you relapse, that year starts over. IT DOES! Do not let anyone tell you it doesn’t. That’s the same as being a part time addict. It’s all or nothing.

So not only is my gaydar way off in the last couple years, so is my ability to pick men who wont lie, cheat, insult me or smoke their paycheck to get high.