Men are either stupid or simply do not care about the actions they take, or think about the consequences of their stupidity. Male readers: Please give your input.
Facebook is a wonderful thing to catch people doing stupid things, on a daily basis.
The following men have either asked me out repeatedly, or attempted to have inappropriate conversation with me.
G:
Has been asking me out religiously every week for the last year or so, up til 4 months ago. He fell off the face of the earth. Phew, he finally got the directness of declining his invites to dinner or dinner in and a "movie". I grew up beside him. He's like a little brother that I never see. Ew. Facebook update today. HE'S MARRIED as of this past weekend.
P:
Lives out of town. We occasionally have casual silly conversations that revolve around sex. No harm in it, so I thought. He lives out of town. That is until his facebook status suddenly reads ENGAGED!
Douche Bag:
We haven't chatted in a bit. Mostly cos I avoid his calls now. But shortly after we broke up. (see 3 whole days) he was back together with HRH. And engaged, again. I suspect they were back together a little before we actually broke up, what I thought was an exclusive relationship for the second time. Joke was on me again, I should have known better from the first time around. Then he pouts when I move on when he can't weasel his bullshit games on me anymore. "But, but, I miss you". Tell someone who cares.
Sadly, I miss him too at times. But not enough to be blinded by his bullshit. He's HRH very expensive divorce to come.
J:
Would like to think he has an open relationship. I do not agree and refuse to have any part of him. He says, he's allowed to wander, but she's not. Hmmmm. He tries regularly to get me to cave. I laugh endlessly. Just cos you've convinced your g/f that what you do is okay, I'M NOT OKAY WITH WHAT YOU DO! Although according to him, my opinion means nothing cos it doesn't match his. Oh darn.
MALE READERS! Answer the following please.
*Please explain to me why it is men do this?
*Are they trying to get away with what they can, cos they can?
*Are they afraid they'll miss out on something?
*Are they not getting something from the spouse they share their bed with full time that they get with me?
*Do men not understand or care that what they are doing with me, is cheating? No ring on the finger etc.. blah blah blah.. how about if the tables were turned? No, not allowed? Why not?
*Why do men continue to think I'm stupid of enough or have a lack of self esteem so low I'd be okay with these arrangements?
What am I doing that is attracting this behaviour? Chances are I'm not doing a damn thing. It's them. And my only fault is believing people are honest until they prove me wrong. And you know, they always do. I can read bullshit a mile away and before it happens, but this? It's camouflaged I tell ya. Invisible to my Jedi bullshit skills.
And then men wonder why women are crazy in the head and have trust issues.
Just Sayin...
maybe because you HAVEN'T caved-- ya know? The whole "playing hard to get" thing? Even tho' I understand you're NOT playing- that you WON'T "be gotten", I think it's the challenge.
ReplyDeleteMen are just as crazy as Women. The true question is: Who drove whom to insanity first?
I'd say that only some men are like this. Your post seems to repeatedly say "men" rather than "some men" - I'm not taking offence, just pointing it out in case it's significant in terms of your viewpoint.
ReplyDeleteI'm not one of those men, so I'm not fully qualified to answer in a way. I imagine that some are just greedy, others are insecure, others may be unsatisfied but not actually prepared to take the leap of leaving their relationship for some other miscellaneous reason.
But for your last question, I think you need women to answer the question: is it commonplace to have the same level of interaction with sleazy guys that you seem to be experiencing? This post reminds me of "Have All Men Gone Completely Stupid" from mid-April. If other women receive all this kind of stuff too then I guess that's how the world is now, but if not then it may be that you're doing something - I'd suggest that the something is "Continuing any form of communication AT ALL with people who are only likely to bring more infuriation and bullshit into your life."
I'm not meaning to sound harsh - I've had blog contact with you for over a year now and you've always been very nice and supportive towards me, so when I read posts like this I guess I get frustrated on your behalf! You deserve better!
@Matt79 - You're not being harsh at all!
ReplyDeleteYou bring up some very valid points that I need to look into on a deeper level for sure!
You're right. I am probably doing something from an old habit that puts me in this ongoing saga of bullshit. (Like continuing to talk to them afterwards)
"Some men". Not all men. It's been noted.
This is excellent feedback Matt!
It's what I needed to hear.
It's straight to the point.
I was hoping for some honest feedback from any douchebags guilty of any of the above.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the advent of the Internet and this new avenue of cheating known as social media is a haven for 'some' men (thanks Matt!).
I've noticed the majority of the G's and P's I know are doing their dirty work behind Facebook but speaking in general (though in the absence of a penis), I'd have to say the reason some of them carry on in these with these types of inappropriate convos and advances is none of the above.
Instead, it's the "there's something better" effect.
I've been approached by men who claimed to be single but had the woman who somehow thought they were in a committed relationship. The men who said they were seeing someone casually but lived with a woman. Boys who made the boldest sexual advances, including e-mail penis shots (with their faces, how smart is that?) and show up at a function with fiance' on arm. And of course, the idiots who still live with their wives and find time after hours or in the bathroom to send texts about what they will do to me when we're alone.
In the minds of people who do $hit like this, they're likely thinking there's something/someone better than what they have BUT don't want to leave just in case they're wrong.
Never ending battle it seems.